Summary: Virgil makes a pet food run with disastrous wonderful results
WC: 2441
Warnings: swearing, panic attacks, non-consensual touch (non-sexual), negative self talk, past abusive relationship, past Anxceit, nonbinary Remus
A/N: Who would I be if I didn't write the soulmate prompt and post it late for Remus' birthday? Happy Birthday my favorite intrusive thot! 💚
@dukexietyweek
"Look alive, Sunshiiine~"
Virgil groaned and rolled over in bed, ignoring his alarm. Truthfully, he wasn't sure why it was still armed since he had nothing to wake up for anymore.
The alarm jarringly skipped from the Danger Days opening to Brendon Urie screaming about something or other. Virgil groaned and wrapped a blanket over his head. He just didn't want to get up and he could feel it becoming an awful day already.
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
After three more screaming emo songs, Virgil finally managed to sit up to the softer tones of Evanescence, rubbing at his eyes and groaning in general protest of the concept of mornings. More like mournings.
He grabbed his favorite edgy hoodie and threw it on over his nightshirt, yawning as he smacked the shit out of the alarm clock. Wincing at the cracks and pops in his joints as he stood, Virgil made his way over to the full length mirror hot glued to his bedroom door. Most of his decorations were hot glued in place because of Ryuk.
As if on cue, the slinky little black kitten pushed her way in the slightly ajar door, meowing her own protest against Virgil’s inability to wake up and feed her promptly in the morning. Virgil smiled softly and bent down, petting her and ruffling the fur between her ears.
"Easy, baby. I'll get your food soon," he promised as the kitten stretched up to paw at the strings of his hoodie. Ryuk was about the only one in his life who he let see him without his daily make-up routine, and the only one who didn't flinch upon seeing his dead black soulmark.
Virgil scooped her up and stood to examine himself. The deep dark markings under his eyes and streaking down his cheeks to his neck were a complete enigma. Most soulmarks were on shoulders, hips, hands, or elbows, places people commonly accidentally bumped each other. He had no idea who would touch his face this way the first time they met. It didn't look like a kiss, it looked like he was going to get beat up and his soulmark was just the dark omen of how shit his soulmate would be.
He sighed and let Ryuk perch on his shoulder- he swore his cat wanted to be a parrot- and pulled out his concealer from the make-up bag on his dresser. Ryuk watched carefully as he covered the dark soulmark, the little kitten hardly blinking. She only shifted her weight to counterbalance Virgil’s movements.
Several layers of concealer and foundation later, Virgil’s face looked as pasty as a boo ghost made of a bed sheet. He smiled sharply, grabbing eye liner because emo has got to emo and finishing the look with black lipstick. He didn’t bother to cover up the three pads of his fingers that were inky black. Hardly anyone noticed them. Ryuk meowed her support of her dark strange dad and jumped all the way to the floor, waiting impatiently for Virgil to follow.
"Alright! Food time," Virgil giggled and opened the door for her. At least Janus had left him the cat, right?
Virgil frowned as his thoughts swirled right back around to his ex. Of course they knew they weren't soulmates, but it had been reassuring being with someone else who had a strange facial soulmark. And Janus had been amazing at helping Virgil stay calm and focused enough to survive reasonably well despite near crippling anxiety.
That was until Virgil found out Janus had been lying about his soulmark for the three years they were together.
For three years, that snake had been covering up his activated soulmark with black makeup, making Virgil think he didn't know exactly who he was supposed to be with. All so he could live rent free and do almost nothing to contribute to their household, because Janus' actual soulmate wanted him to get a job. Sometimes, Virgil even wondered if the man he'd shared his bed with was actually gay.
The break up had left Virgil absolutely devastated, and Ryuk was the only good thing to come of the relationship. So he spoiled her as responsibly as he could, taking care of the only being who truly loved him.
Depressing. Welcome to the life of the most pathetic-
Ryuk mewled as if to chastise Virgil for delaying feeding her even longer. Virgil followed the little black kitten down to the kitchen, stretching and trying to forget the previous train of thought. He picked up Ryuk’s personalized food dish (that had been an awkward request at Pet’s Mart), dumping the few soggy pellets left over from the night before and giving the dish a good rinse. He rubbed it dry with a towel while Ryuk sat patiently at his feet, waiting for her food now that she knew Virgil was actually working on it.
He set the bowl on the counter and reached up to the cabinet where he kept her food. “Soon, pretty kitty. Just be patient for me,” he cooed at her, finding a small amount of pleasure in her responsive mew. He smiled until his hand hit nothing but the wooden shelf of the cabinet.
“What the-” Virgil’s attention snapped right back to the cabinet, swearing when he discovered that Ryuk had finished the last of their food stores last night. He groaned and glanced down at the expectant kitten, “I am so sorry- I forgot to stock up, baby.”
Ryuk tilted her head, not understanding why the magic food door wasn’t providing her the food she desperately needed to survive in this house.
“Shit- I’ll be right back-” Virgil stepped away from the counter, followed by a loud cat cry protest. He winced, hating to leave her wanting as he found a pair of ripped up black skinny jeans to throw on. The last thing he wanted right now was an impromptu shopping trip, but that was exactly what was happening.
Ryuk kept meowing as Virgil slipped on his favorite Converse and nudged her away from the door so he could leave. He locked the door and double checked by trying to open it before walking briskly down the sidewalk with head down.
Of course he’d forgotten his headphones to drown out the annoying shoppers around him. Virgil’s mood soured more with each step towards the store. It was truly shaping up to be a terrible day.
Virgil glanced around as he entered the store with his hood pulled all the way up. He felt acutely aware of how suspicious he looked right now. But that couldn’t be helped. He just wanted to grab Ryuk’s food and get out of there as soon as possible. He made a beeline for the Pets section, scanning the shelves for her preferred brand. He sighed in relief seeing there was one bag left. He bent down to pick it up when he heard a loud shrill whistle behind him.
“Day-um! What an ass! Is there another bag down there, sweet cheeks?”
Virgil inhaled sharply and stood up slowly, clutching the bag to his chest, “N-no, and I need this bag-” he balked at the acrid smell of pickle brine and sharp tangy iron coming from the barely dressed person standing far too close to him. He took a tentative step back toward the shelves.
“Fuck! You just had to take that one- it’s the only brand that tastes any good! Can’t your pooch or whatever settle for something else?” The person wearing what Virgil could only describe as a studded lime green bikini bottom and full body fishnets was staring at him, hands firmly on their hips. Virgil noted a nonbinary they/them pin before a wave of nausea washed over him as the smell intensified and mixed with a very deep seated feeling that this stranger was about to attack him over cat food.
“N-no, Ryuk only eats this,” He managed to stammer.
“Wait- like from Death Note?” their eyes gleamed with recognition, “You named your dog after a Shinigami?”
“She’s a cat!” Virgil exclaimed, taking another backward step and gulping as his back hit the edges of the shelving behind him, knocking a few bags off, “please- please leave me alone-”
“Hey, I’m just trying to negotiate here,” they complained, stepping closer instead. Virgil could feel tears welling up in his eyes as his terror skyrocketed.
“Go- leave- please leave me alone-” He whispered as they stepped right up in his face. He felt his logical brain shutting down, wishing he wasn’t pinned against the shelves so he could run.
“Whoa- for one, you’re really cute,” The stranger smiled a strange wide grin, “I’d love to get to know you- wait- are you crying? What the shit?”
Virgil’s knees buckled underneath him and he slid the ground, clutching the cat food like it was his only lifeline. His breathing was rapid and shallow as he curled in on himself, praying the stranger would go away.
“Woah, buddy, I didn’t mean-”
The stench of the rude stranger with zero sense of personal boundaries increased tenfold and Virgil felt as if he was about to pass out.
— — —
Remus stared at the emo laying in the fetal position at their feet. Goddamn it they’d been trying to come across less creepy when they were flirting. They crouched down and tried to gently push the man’s hood off his face to see if he was still conscious.
How the fuck did things like this keep happening to Remus?
They saw the tears slipping down the man’s cheek. Oh fuck-
“Woah, buddy, I didn’t mean-”
The emo clutched at the bag of cat food and didn’t even respond to their voice. Remus figured the best way to help would be to help him ground himself so they could apologize for being so terrifying. Not that they were trying to be scary. If people were scared of them, that was their problem and Remus would not take responsibility for it.
They kneeled in front of the man and reached out slowly, “hey- can you take a deep breath with me? Shit dude, I really didn’t mean to scare you over a bag of kibble-” When the man didn’t respond, only crying softly and breathing like a bunny, Remus inhaled and swore under their breath. Fuck Fuck Fuck. What would a smart person do? Remus sighed. If they knew that answer, they wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place.
Gently they reached to cup the man’s face, wiping their thumbs at the tears staining his bottom eyelids. No sooner had Remus touched the man than his hand came up to smack his wrist away. Remus gasped and pulled back, their palms and wrist stinging.
Remus rubbed their wrist and harrumphed, “I’m just trying to help!” They glanced back at the stranger and gasped. Shimmery purple glowed beneath what looked like several layers of makeup on the man’s face. It spread from under his eyes to all the way down his neck. Remus stared, absolutely transfixed. Of course they had seen activated soulmarks before. But they’d never caused an activation…
Remas gasped again and spread their palms out in front of them. They started in disbelief at the green shimmery swirls that settled into a Lichtenberg figure before their eyes. They knew soulmarks sometimes formed into patterns that represented the soulmate. They looked back at the man on the ground to find him staring at his fingers, the ones he’d used to smack Remus away.
“Holy shit-”
“Read my mind, emo. What’s your name?”
The man blinked up at Remus as if taking them in for the first time.
“Oh- Oh it’s really you…”
Remus grinned, “yeah- sorry that was so stressful.”
“I- yeah, but it’s fine,” the man shrugged, “I’m… MyNameIsVirgil,” he rushed out and Remus grinned, “he/him, by the way. I saw your pin.”
Remus nodded, “thank you, Virgil. Remus. God, I want to see your mark without all that makeup… but maybe that’s a second date idea.”
Virgil laughed sharply, “that’s assuming there’s a first!”
“There better be! I have got to meet this shinigami pussy that’s been stealing my food!”
“You… eat cat food? For real?’
Remus shrugged, “It’s cheap. Please?”
Virgil sat up and offered Remus his hand, “what’s with the ninja stars?”
Remus broke into raucous laughter, “Oh Fuck! Lolo is not gonna believe this-”
Virgil squinted, “Who? No. Too much to process right now. Um.. could you please let me get up?”
Remus scooted away on the linoleum floor, giving Virgil space to get his legs beneath him. They stood and offered Virgil a hand, subtly showing off the lightning soulmark.
“Woah- oh that’s- is gorgeous okay?” Virgil asked, staring at the mark.
“Yeah, for sure.” Remus nodded and offered again to help him up. “Let’s go pay and talk this out at your place.”
Virgil paused a long moment before eventually nodding in agreement. He took their hand and stood, admiring how they held his hand gently yet still supported him enough to get up. Remus twisted the hold to interlock their fingers with his. Something about the gesture felt incredibly comforting.
Virgil smiled weakly and followed him to the checkout. His heart was still racing, but he suspected for a different reason now.
The real test would be how Ryuk took to this new person.
— — —
Virgil stood in his bathroom with the door ajar, carefully wiping the makeup off his soul mark while Remus played with Ryuk in the living room. She very much enjoyed snagging her claws on their fishnets and they seemed absolutely delighted with the kitten. Virgil sighed softly and kept wiping away at the layers, marveling as sparkly purple tentacles revealed themselves, twisting and turning all over the previously dead black area. His lip trembled and the rag dropped from his fingers.
He met his actual soulmate, and they’d turned his greatest fear and shame into something so beautiful.
Remus gasped from behind him, staring in the mirror at the swirly purple soulmark. “Oh my god- Virge-”
Virgil smiled back at them in the mirror before turning to face them, “Yes?”
“You’re super pretty now- and that ass is still magnificent. Do- do you want to date?”
“Let’s get to know each other a bit better before getting all official with labels,” Virgil chuckled, reaching to pull Remus close.
Ryuk mewed and headbutted at Remus’ leg, feeling left out of the family hug. Both of them grinned and Virgil let her climb him back up to his shoulder before hugging Remus close.
eyo trans rights someone mentioned doing trans sides and I am the right author for that lmao janus is flipping of transphobes dispassionately because he cares about their opinion that little.
Here’s the links: Plea for My New Self A Whole Castle Slopes
I might do another with some other identities I have a wide variety to choose from
Slight body horror, swearing. Remus is nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns.
Ao3 || Tumblr main
Logan and Remus had just settled into bed, ready for sleep when Remus whispered, barely audible, "Do you only love me 'cause I'm like my brother?"
Logan stiffened at the mention of Remus's estranged twin - and Logan's ex-boyfriend.
"Never mind, it was stupid, I'll shut up now. Goodnight Logie," Remus mumbled after a beat of silence had passed.
"Of course not," Logan said, regaining his wits. "Why would you think so?"
"Well, I mean, I know I'm just the worse version of him, and he has already moved on and gotten with someone new, so like, if you had been missing him…" Remus didn't finish their thought.
"Falsehood," Logan replied firmly. "First of all, I am the one who broke up with Roman because he had feelings for another. It was a kindness for both of us, and by the time we began dating, I had long since moved on. Secondly, you are not the lesser version of Roman. Despite being twins, the two of you are quite different. You are your own person with your own personality, not any version of someone else, and I love you because of who you are."
Remus hummed, but a glance at their face showed that they were not convinced.
Logan held in a sad sigh. "You and your brother can be similar, yes," Logan conceded. "You're both creative, arrogant, insecure, and stubborn. But you both have major differences as well. He wears his emotions on his sleeve, whereas you pretend to be emotionally open. Truthfully, you are so much deeper than you seem. You act tough, but I know that you're kind. Anyone who's seen you with children would agree. You are incredibly empathetic and you are so beautiful. You’re much more unpredictable than him. Roman is also much more prideful than you. He's pettier and he can hold a grudge like there's no tomorrow."
Remus chuckled at that.
"You forgive much easier and you're more modest, although you pretend as if you believe every compliment others give you. Even now you may be fabricating reasons to disprove my statements." Logan rubbed circles into Remus's shoulders.
Remus winced at his words, proving that Logan was correct. A light, embarrassed pink dusted Remus's cheeks.
"If you don't believe me, I'll have to keep telling you until you do. Repetition is the best strategy for memorization. I'm rarely wrong, you know." Logan pressed a sweet kiss to the top of Remus's head.
"True," Remus admitted, humming. “Well, except for that one time-”
“I said rarely!” Logan interrupted. He took a deep, steadying breath as Remus giggled.
“Can… Can you tell me more reasons you love me?” Remus asked anxiously.
Logan looked down at his partner’s face and saw an aching, bleeding vulnerability and a desire for love and validation. He laid his cheek on top of Remus’s head, looking up at the ceiling with his partner held in his arms. Remus sighed, the small sound ringing with contentment.
“Of course, my love,” Logan replied, squeezing their hand. “I love your ferocity. I love your protective instinct. Such as the instance with Virgil yesterday. It was very brave and kind of you.”
Remus growled at the mention of yesterday’s incident. “Those men were pathetic little rat shits. Who fucks up a teenager?”
“I know,” Logan agreed. “They were quite awful. You were able to, ah, create an imposition, rather swiftly.”
Remus cackled. “Did you see how that blonde guy ran away? And the dude with the stupid Matrix glasses? His nose broke so easily. And there was blood, running down his face and all over my knuckles. It painted the floor until I was drowning in it and I was suffocating, but it was fun-”
“Remus,” Logan said gently, tapping his partner’s forehead.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Logan replied.
Remus nodded, the motion limited by Logan’s position. “Uh, what- what else?”
Logan smiled to himself. “I love it when you’re painting or writing and you complete your work. You’re so proud of yourself and I love it because you deserve it. You deserve everything because you work so hard. I love it when the clock or the toaster breaks and you try to fix it yourself, but only end up breaking it more and you have to ask me for help. It’s funny to see the guilty and ashamed yet defiant look that comes across your face.
“Well I love it when you fix stuff around the house!” Remus burst out.
Rather than address Remus’s declaration, Logan deflected with a joke. “You’re dating a mechanical engineer and his only use is to fix the fire alarm?”
Remus scowled. “No, not that. It’s like… when you’re fixing random shit you get this cute little concentrated face and you kinda stick your tongue out a tiny bit.”
“I do?” Logan wondered how he’d never noticed.
“Yeah.” Remus nodded. “It makes the whole “asking for help” bullshit worth it.”
“Huh,” Logan said, surprised. He kissed the top of Remus’s hair softly, burying his face in their silky locks to hide his faint blush.
“Oh, and you’ll sometimes walk me through what you’re doing. Your voice is so pretty, I could literally listen to it for hours. If you were teaching all my classes, every class would be so much more enjoyable,” Remus told him, smiling.
Logan could see the edges of that smile through the corner of his eye, and he desperately wanted to kiss that smile and open it, kiss Remus until they were both breathless, but he didn’t want to disturb their peace.
“And, shit, Logan, you’re so smart. You’re literally the smartest person I know.”
Logan chuckled dismissively. “I doubt that.”
“No, I’m serious. You’re basically a genius. Especially compared to me.” Remus turned so he was facing Logan and wrapped their arms around their boyfriend, burying their face in his chest. Logan’s arms moved to hold them more securely.
“You’re calling me a genius? We’ve both seen what you can do with a makeup brush, or a paintbrush, or a pencil, or, truthfully, any medium.” Logan kissed the top of their head. Perhaps he’d been doing that a lot, but Remus had hidden their face in Logan’s chest, and he couldn’t not kiss them.
“You’re just saying that,” Remus denied bashfully. Despite their denial, Logan knew they were pleased. Their creativity was a major source of pride for them.
“If it was a falsehood, you wouldn’t be top of your classes,” Logan reminded them pointedly.
“I guess…” Remus sighed. They nuzzled into Logan, who melted.
Remus’s heart felt so full it might burst. It would be cool if it did. Their chest would be blown up and their ribs would be broken and there would be blood painting these pillows and their skin would be torn open. Would Logan scream? He probably would, most people would scream if someone’s heart burst.
But Remus’s heart stayed in their chest, decidedly not ruining this perfect moment with blood and gore.
Remus giggled to himself at the thought.
“What is it, dear?” Logan asked, curiously.
Remus laughed again. “Nothing. Just happy.”
“I love you,” Logan murmured.
Remus lifted their head to meet Logan’s eyes. “I love you too,” they replied, and Logan finally got his wish of kissing them senseless.
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Characters: Janus, Remus, Roman
Rating: Teen & up
Relationships: Dukeceit, Creativitwins
Warnings: Not much to warn for in this one. Language, a little bit of suggestiveness, vague non-detailed descriptions of a horror movie.
Word count: 3402
Read on AO3!
My writing masterpost
Starlight Universe masterpost
Dukeceit Week 2021
start - previous - here - next - masterpost
Summary: A movie night date leads to an important conversation. Already being t4t makes it a lot easier.
Or, in Remus's own words, “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess. Huh.”
Notes: Day 6 of Dukeceit Week 2021! Almost there! @dukeceitweek Takes place in my Starlight Universe, where each piece can be read without any context. Takes place 9 months after college; at the start of the story, Janus uses only they/them pronouns.
--
“Ooh, popcorn! Can I have some?” Roman popped his head into the kitchen of the apartment he, Remus, and Logan had shared in the nine or so months since they had all graduated college.
“No, Jan and I are having a date in twenty minutes,” Remus said, waving Roman off without looking away from the air popper.
“Okay, I don’t see how that’s relevant to my question.” Roman pushed himself to sit on the counter by the sink. “I mean, that’s really cute, I hope you have fun. But can I have some popcorn?”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Make your own when I’m done.”
“But you make it better!” Roman pouted overdramatically.
Remus raised an eyebrow. “All I do is plug in the machine?”
“Right, which is better than me doing it.” Roman grinned at them. “Less work for me.”
“Hey!” Remus swatted his arm. “The transphobia, honestly—”
“Well, if you making it for me is transphobic to you, then you not making it for me is—” Roman broke off quite suddenly, his expression undergoing several shifts very fast that Remus could not make sense of. Which was… unusual, to say the least. Roman was normally the one person they could always count on understanding. They didn’t like this new development one bit.
“Ro?”
“Iiiiiit’s… queerphobic to me,” Roman said at last, a worried pinch to his eyebrows. He laughed, and it almost didn’t sound forced. “So we’re at a tie, so you should just make me popcorn.”
“First of all, I’m queer too, make your own damn popcorn. Second—” Remus turned away from the popcorn machine and gave Roman his full attention, leaning back against the kitchen island and tilting his head to the side. “Do you wanna talk about whatever the fuck that was?” So far as Remus knew, Roman was bi; that was the label he’d been using for years and years, so long that it practically felt like forever. Since almost the very beginning of high school. Since before Remus had questioned their gender, even. Only last week, he’d called the light switch biphobic without hesitation when it broke.
Whatever had happened to make him so very deliberately not call himself bi just now, it was new.
Roman’s expression closed up very fast indeed, but not before Remus caught a flash of something he was almost certain was fear. “No.”
“You know it’s okay to question, right?” Remus inquired awkwardly. “No matter what specifically, and no matter what the outcome is? Yeah?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“You know I’d still love you no matter what, right? Even if you were, like, a straight man—like, I would make so many jokes about not agreeing with your lifestyle, but—Ro, you know everything is always gonna be okay, right?”
Roman glared at him. “Remus, I don’t want to talk about it.” He wrinkled his nose. “And I’m definitely not straight.”
Remus blinked and raised their hands. “Alright. I didn’t mean literally straight, I just meant—you could be literally whatever, and it would be cool. That was—like—the most extreme example I could think of, you know?”
Roman let out a slight huff of laughter. “Thanks,” he said reluctantly after a pause. “It’s nothing, though.”
“Bullshit,” Remus said immediately.
“It—” Roman swallowed. “I need it to be nothing, okay?”
“If anyone’s making you feel shitty, I’ll beat them up,” Remus said immediately. “Even if it’s Patton. Just drop the names. I’ll do it. I’ll—”
“Remus, it’s fine. I want to stop fucking talking about it now!” Roman snapped.
Remus hesitated, fumbling for what to do or say next, everything about the conversation feeling just a little wrong and sideways.
Roman sighed. “Sorry.” He pushed off the counter, went to the fridge, and stared into it for a solid thirty seconds, then took a cheese stick out of the door. “I’ll make my own popcorn later,” he mumbled and retreated back to his room.
“Damn, alright,” Remus said to the empty room. “Be like that, I guess.” They flung their hands into the air and went to get the butter they’d been melting in the microwave before Roman’s appearance.
Roman would talk to them about it, whatever it was, eventually. He always did. And whatever was bugging him, Remus would figure out a way to bug it back until it stopped and Roman was all happy and bubbly again. Because that was what Remus always did. It would be fine. It was just a waiting game.
Remus sighed. He always hated waiting.
***
“Mmkay,” Remus said, when Janus had arrived, and they had worked together to move the TV out of the living room and into Remus’s room, and they had settled in on Remus’s bed—Remus sitting up against the headboard and Janus half-laying in Remus’s lap with their long thin legs stretched out along the bed and their head on his chest—and the popcorn had been set beside them where they could both reach it, and the blanket nest had been fluffed once more. “What shall we watch?”
Janus was silent for a long moment. Actually, come to think of it, they had been quiet since they’d arrived at the apartment—even more quiet than usual. But Remus was almost certain they weren’t nonverbal, seeing as they had exchanged a few fond words with him. It just hadn’t been very many words.
“Janny, baby?” Remus leaned forward, over their shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of their face.
Janus had their fingers knotted in the blanket that was spread over their lap, fidgeting with it anxiously, a thinking-hard expression on their face.
“Baby?” Remus curled one hand lightly around theirs. “You good?”
“Choices are too hard right now,” Janus said at last.
“Okay, that’s okay. Do you know what you need?”
“I want to watch a movie.” Janus frowned. “I just can’t choose.”
“Gotcha. No problem.” Remus pressed a kiss to their cheek. “I’m really good at choosing.” He threaded his fingers through Janus’s long hair, scratching soothingly at their scalp in just the way he knew they liked, and pulled up the library of movies, switching from Roman’s profile to his own.
“How’s some really cheesy horrible horror film we can make fun of sound?” he asked, scrolling with the remote and still playing with Janus’s hair with his other hand. “I know we have a bunch of those, I loved ’em when we were kids and I think they’re funny.”
“That sounds fine.” Janus nodded and relaxed a little further against Remus.
“Good.” He kissed the top of their head. “Do you need anything else?”
Janus shook their head. “I’ve just been kind of stressed lately. Work’s been shit, and all that. It’s fine. I just want to cuddle and things.”
“Ooh, ‘and things,’ I like the sound of that,” Remus teased, sliding his hand gently to their chin and drawing them to twist around far enough that he could kiss them soft and slow.
“I didn’t say what kinds of things,” Janus said innocently, their eyes still closed and so close to Remus that their lips brushed against his as they spoke. “Perhaps I could be persuaded later.”
“I’ll be sure to prepare my best arguments,” Remus said, leaning slightly up to kiss their forehead and then back down to their lips for another lazy kiss, taking his time and exploring Janus’s mouth until they sighed and melted against him.
“A compelling preview,” they murmured, their eyes still closed and the slightest smile curling at their lips.
Remus meant to make some kind of witty quip in return, really he did, but all that came out of his mouth was a quiet, awed, “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful, Jan.”
Janus’s eyes opened and met his for a moment, soft and vulnerable, before they turned and hid their face in his neck. “Love you,” they whispered against his skin.
“Mm, I love you too,” Remus said happily, wrapping his arms securely around Janus and kissing the top of their head. “Love your pretty eyes and skin and hair and body, love how clever you are, love your scary goth clothes, love your snark, love your stims, love you—”
Janus whined wordlessly into his neck, pressing kisses to it and fisting their hands in the front of his shirt.
Remus chuckled, taking a handful of their hair and gently tugging until they looked up at him once more. “Do you want to watch a movie at all, or do you just wanna make out? Cause I’d be good with either, but if you wanna do a movie, we should get on that before we’re too distracted.”
“Oh.” Janus leaned their head back a little until it was resting against Remus’s hand. “Not that I don’t want to make out, but—”
“Nah, I gotcha. Gotta at least get through the popcorn, am I right?” Remus cast about for the remote, lost in the blanket pile, as Janus shifted about until they faced the television again.
“There it is!” Remus snatched the remote up, clicking through the library on the television until he saw the particular film he was thinking of and pulled it up. “This look good?”
“‘When moving into their new house, little do our protagonists know it is haunted by a demonic serial killer. Will they get out in time? Or will they be his next victims?’” Janus read the summary aloud. “Sounds absolutely thrilling. Extremely original. Love the bad Photoshop on the cover. I’m sure the acting will be of the highest quality.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s so shitty, I love it. So many cheesy effects and fake blood, it’s the actual stupidest shit,” Remus assured them. “I love it, though. Went as the demon thing for Halloween when I was nine. Nobody fucking knew what I was, but I had the time of my life. And got fake blood on Roman when he wasn’t looking. It was great.”
Janus chuckled, reaching up to brush their fingertips against Remus’s cheek. “Well, with such a glowing review from someone so attractive, how can I resist?” they said fondly.
“That’s the spirit!” Remus hit play.
Remus had watched this particular movie more times than they could count over the course of their childhood. He peppered commentary throughout the film:
“This is my favorite part, if you pay attention you can see her real fingertips holding onto the fake hand she’s about to get chopped off!”
“There’s a jumpscare in this scene, I know you hate those—okay, hit the skip-ten-seconds button in three, two, there. Perfect. Dumbass demon movie can’t even trust itself to be creepy without cheap scares.”
“Look, I know the mom is supposed to have some kind of hot blonde thing going on for the horny straight men in the audience, but she’s got nothing on you.”
“For some reason they made a director’s commentary and it actually includes the fake blood recipe they used, I’ll show you sometime!”
Janus, in turn, provided brilliant, extremely snarky roasts, mostly of either the actors’ absolute lack of skill or the gaping plot holes:
“Oh, yes, going alone to the attic at midnight without so much as a candle is a fantastic idea, nothing bad could possibly happen in this scene.”
“Listen, I can excuse the children because they’re about eight years old, but do you think this man has ever even heard of acting? Or even, like, speaking in a non-monotone?”
“I am truly fascinated by the special effects department’s understanding of human anatomy.”
“So, the demon feeds on misery? Why hasn’t it taken up residence in a large office building? I mean, come on, hundreds of souls in an environment designed to grind out constant levels of misery? It’s perfect. The poor thing must be starving out here in the two-point-five-kids-and-a-dog suburbs, every meal it gets is tiny. I would be so much better at its job than it is.”
At last the credits rolled.
“Wanna see pictures of the costume I made?” Remus asked.
“Sure.” Janus sounded amused.
“Lemme just—” Remus scrolled through their camera roll for a minute. “Oh, here they are.” They displayed their phone to Janus; tiny nine-year-old Remus, who sported long tangled brown hair in two ponytails, was draped in a black curtain, donated by his great-aunt, that he had very enthusiastically taken a pair of scissors to to create a tattered effect; the curtain was splattered with bright red goo, and tiny Remus had a pair of plastic knives in his hands, which were blurry in almost every photo because they’d hardly stopped making stabbing motions all evening. To their right, their little sister Gabby, who’d been six at the time, was dressed as Elastigirl and making a punching motion; to their right, Roman—who had already been a full three inches taller than Remus, even at nine—was wearing a Belle dress with a poofy skirt and a sword strapped around his waist and a huge smile that was missing one front tooth.
Remus swiped through the photos; a delightful scene unfolded, as tiny Remus posed for a few pictures, then in one was blurrily turning towards Roman, then dumping something on him, then Roman was screaming and Remus was laughing as red goo dripped down the poofy yellow skirt; Gabby watched with both hands clapped over her mouth, eyes huge.
“You two really have not changed at all, have you?” Janus asked, stifling laughter.
“Absolutely not,” Remus agreed with an answering laugh. “I think the most that either of us ever changed was when I chopped off all that hair and dyed it green.”
“When was that?” Janus asked.
“Sophomore year of high school. I did not have permission to chop it all off, but I did get permission to dye it afterwards, so that was pretty sick.”
“And that didn’t go against dress code?” Janus inquired.
“No, actually. Not sure how. But I bet my parents would’ve kicked up a big stink about it if the school tried and made me change it; they were always super big on self expression and shit.” Remus gestured towards the picture, indicating tiny Roman in his princess dress. “We always got to wear whatever we wanted, and shit like that. It was nice. Made gender shit way easier when that became a thing for me, you know?”
“It sounds nice,” Janus said softly. “I’m happy you had that.”
Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to their forehead, reaching for a handful of the popcorn dregs in the bottom of the bowl.
Janus shifted in their arms, rolling over to face Remus and propping themself up on their elbows. “Actually,” they began.
Something on their face told Remus that whatever this new topic of conversation was, it was important. He swallowed the half-chewed popcorn in his mouth. “Yeah, baby?”
“Speaking of gender.” Janus picked at the edge of the blanket.
“I love speaking of that, go on.” Remus tousled Janus’s hair fondly.
Janus took a deep breath, staring at the blanket in their hands. “I want to start using he pronouns again. In addition to my regular ones. Or.” They wrinkled their nose. “My current ones, I guess. So, he/they.”
“That’s great, he/they pronouns are very sexy,” Remus said at once.
Janus laughed, looking up at him at last. “That’s true, you are the sexiest person I know,” he said fondly. A shadow passed over his features. “But,” he went on slowly, chewing on the inside of their lip and picking at the blanket once more.
“Yeah?” Remus encouraged.
“I really don’t like the idea of telling anyone else about that.” Janus grimaced. “I keep worrying I’ll get asked stupid questions about ‘oh, so are you a man again now?’ when—like—no, and I never was one in the first place. So.”
“Oh, that sounds gross,” Remus agreed at once. “I can see why you’d be worried about that.”
Janus nodded. “I just—I don’t want to explain. And I don’t want people to ask questions. And they might. And I just—I don't want any of it. I want to skip to the part where they know and it’s all how I want it to be.”
“That’s reasonable,” Remus agreed. “But, I mean, if they can get me using he/they pronouns and being nonbinary, they had better fucking wrap their minds around the concept of you doing it too. Yeah? Or I’ll make ’em. Violently, if you want.”
Janus snorted. “I appreciate the offer, darling.” They reached up and touched his cheek. “I… don’t know if I want to tell anyone else yet. But I did want to tell you.”
“You got it, cutie.” Remus booped Janus’s nose once. “Just let me know if anything changes. I’ll punch people for you. Anytime. They don’t even have to have done anything. Just point me at them and consider it done.”
Janus did laugh at that, outright, scrunching up his face and burying it in Remus’s chest. “I should not be this into you offering to punch people for me,” he said wryly.
Remus grinned and flipped their hair. “Nah, I think it’s definitely very sexy of me and should absolutely turn you on.”
Janus smacked Remus’s arm. “I did not say that!”
“You implied it.”
“Not… necessarily. That was one possible interpretation—”
“Oh, right, I see, mmhm, very interesting.”
They smacked his arm again. “You’re teasing me.”
“Only a little bit. You’re so pretty when you get all flustered.” Remus bent their head at a somewhat awkward angle to kiss Janus’s lips gently. “Are there any new words you want me to use, by the way?” they asked. “Besides updating pronouns?”
Janus tilted his head to the side, considering. “I think… I still like all the sorts of things you call me already. Pretty, and partner, and—and baby, and so on.”
Remus smirked. “That’s good, I like calling you baby.”
“Oh my god, shut up.” Janus hid their face in their hands.
“Why, baby?” Remus asked innocently.
Janus made a strangled noise, and after a pause carried on. “I do think I wouldn’t mind adding a little bit of… masc terminology? I guess? If that makes sense? Adding that into the mix. Not all the time, and not as much as the things you already call me, but… just a bit would be nice.”
“Gotcha.” Remus nodded. “I can do that. So, like, my baby is very pretty and handsome?”
Janus’s cheeks went bright red in an instant, and he hid his face in Remus’s chest again, letting out a tiny wordless scream. “Yes. That. That—that’s nice,” they managed after a pause, sounding almost entirely composed.
Remus chuckled and ran their fingers through Janus’s hair. “Good to know,” he said teasingly. “I will definitely keep this in mind.”
“Oh my god,” Janus mumbled. “Are you trying to kill me?”
“Absolutely, but only in a sexy way of making you happy.” Remus kissed the top of their head. “This is just, like, going to be a week of people coming out to me, I guess,” they mused. “Huh.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, something’s clearly eating at someone else we know, and I think they’re going to tell me about whatever it is within the week. That’s all. It was just funny timing.” Remus kissed the top of Janus’s head again. “So, the movie’s over,” they noted, which, sure, was a blatant and deliberate change of subject, but he felt this was justified, both for avoiding-speculating-about-Roman’s-personal-information purposes and, more importantly, for fun-after-movie-things purposes.
“That it is,” Janus said, a particular innocent tone entering their voice. Excellent, he was of a similar mind to Remus, then.
Remus grinned and drew them up for a kiss. “So, what does the very pretty and handsome and lovely human in my arms want to do now?” he inquired.
Janus made another small, wordless, flustered noise and promptly dragged Remus into another kiss. “You can’t just say things like that!”
“What, about how you’re the loveliest—prettiest—sexiest—” Remus pressed tiny kisses to Janus’s lips with each word, until at last they caught his lips with their own in a proper kiss to shut him up. “Pretty sure I can say it, actually,” Remus murmured against his lips. “Cause it’s true.”
“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” Janus said, sounding very pleased indeed, and kissed them again.
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Taglist (ask to be added/removed!): @theimprobabledreamersworld @peruviandesertfox
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
"Person A has the power to see/sense injuries (anything from bruises to broken bones to hypothermia). They meet Person B when they see suspicious or worrying injuries on them as they walk past each other."
Sirius passes the fit Remus on the street and feels their pain, like they'd been "torn apart and stitched back together" and decides to chat them up.
Both Remus and Sirius use he/they pronouns and I switch between them both throughout.
hi sorry to bother but i was wondering if you could do a nonbinary/trans punk Remus mood-board if thats alright , thank you for your time :) i hope you have a wonderful week or weekend
Of course! I need to catch up on some aesthetic requests today if I can.
