Four deals
or What They Were Willing to Give Away
Nott’s deal: she wants her body back so severely, so desperately, that she can’t even see the blood in her eyes. The promise of a body that was ripped away from her, a life that was crushed out of her throat. A war for better skin, she says. A world where her son and husband and allshe’s worked for could crumble into pieces. But she could be free again. She is so close to shaking that hand. She can only see the promise.
Yasha’s deal: she held on to that scrap book like it was all she had left. It was all that kept her grounded, tethered to reason, to sanity. Now, she hands it over, all that’s left of the woman she loved and the man she saved. It’s worth it, she thinks, to lose one family. At least she can save another.
Beau’s deal: she’s finally found happiness. But she’s used to sadness. She’s used to nothing, to lonely, to being cast aside. She was never good enough, never strong enough, never polite enough, never worth it, never fucking worth it. So what’s one more time? What’s one more loss? What does it matter if it all gets ripped away again? Someone else will be happy, at least. Someone who deserves it more.
Jester’s deal: she knows how they see her- naive, weak, innocent. And she knows who they are. They are people who will throw themselves into the flames with no hesitation, who will cut themselves apart and scatter their bodies across the abyss if it grants them that salvation. That punishment. That release. She knows what happens if she fails, alone in a room, the door closed, long fingers pulling life out of her like an unspooling of string. She takes out a cupcake and wipes back a tear. They are worth it. They are so so worth it.
