#ocd blogging

[penissekai]

Gentle reminder you aren’t your thoughts and they don’t make you an inherently bad person <3

[shanesmouth]

ocd is my ultimate nemesis not because of the disabling mental torture it inflicts on me but because it stops me from posting some of my hottest porn

[number1mikewheelerfan]

the cure by olivia rodrigo is literally what it feels like having ocd and thinking your partner cured it until the thoughts come back

[prettiestboyinthemourguex]

I'm diagnosed with ocd, and I guess I can tell you all about my experience having it so that you writers and non ocd ppl can understand!!

It's not always about being neat and clean all the time. In fact,my room is quite messy. And that's only one subtype of ocd. I have symmetry ocd and moderate contamination ocd about food. For me, my ocd worsens under stress. Like if I'm stressed, the urge to make everything symmetrical and perfect just gets 10x worse, and for the contamination ocd, I feel like if i eat foods over 350 calories, I'll gain weight uncontrollably and become fat. I'd lose control. This works hand in hand with my eating disorder.

I get intrusive thoughts. When something irritates me, I want to smash it against a wall or kill it. And I feel as if because k have those thoughts I'm a bad person. I have gotten sexual intrusive thoughts (more on the receiving side not perpetrating side), and that's a common experience for others with ocd as well.

With my symmetry ocd it's more about sensations. I have a deep fear I'll ruin my facial symmetry or body symmetry so everything has to be symmetrical feeling wise and look wise or else everything will go wrong and everyone will hate me. I have the worst episodes of that.

Anyway happy disability pride month and bye!

[aylaaescar]

forcing myself to do smth bc my OCD dislikes it, therefore (hopefully) getting one step closer to my brain being as chill as it'll ever possibly be

but like

I hated it

[eight-littlenightmares]

me: my OCD actually isn’t very bad today..

me: oh no i have been faking having extreme OCD all along. i am a faker. i am not suffering enough so that means i should die probably. i wish my OCD would get worse so that i can be valid again 😭

my OCD: *gets worse*

me:

me: nO WAIT NOT LIKE THAT—

[sharkiegorath]

Saw a post like “Moral OCD is a new buzzword, I'm putting it on the shelf”. I can believe it's getting bastardized online, but I absolutely do have it. And so do many people I've met. So I'd like to keep talking about it, actually. Actually I don't think psychiatric terminology is automatically a 'buzzword' just because some teens in your phone misuse it. If you see me reblogging posts or mentioning scrupulosity, it's based on experience and a psychiatric OCD diagnosis since I was 14, though with the shit I've done since I was little, it's weird to think that I'd even need a diagnosis to be taken seriously. Like a 5 year old preoccupied with the terror of God and Evil probably does have some condition. Maybe.

Guilt and doubt are normal. Self-reflection and Repeatedly Thinking About One Topic are normal. Constant, nervous system-taxing, physically-felt guilt and dread over things you personally cannot change is not normal. It's not healthy or virtuous. Spending upwards of 6 hours a day browsing subreddits and forum threads trying to find evidence that any remotely public figure you’re remotely fond of might secretly be an abuser is not normal. Doomscrolling the blogs of strangers you dislike in order to intentionally upset yourself and block their fans because 'idk you gotta' is not normal. And I truly think things like gossip/snark/expose subreddits and drama channels contribute to triggering OCD en masse under the guise of knowledge. They're providing 'bad information' people can't actually change, and incentivizing rumination through shallow connection or money. Fifteen years of social media, especially young-leftist-dechurched-abuse-survivors-vent-blogs-meets-fandom-meets-horrific-news social media, has impacted the way I process information, and doesn’t actually motivate or inform anything positive or productive I do, besides giving me a reason to avoid the digital torment nexus.

My brain gets stuck telling me the same thing about something I know I know or believe. I checked my notes from July to November last year and was surprised by how coherent I sounded, because it felt so horrible at the time, like my brain was running on a hamster wheel covered in spikes. In real life I was 'high-functioning'. But the same topics did keep popping up with different wording, and I'm still exhausted six months later. Last year's...episode?? I guess?? was triggered by learning about several separate cases of violent abuse while I was already stressed, including some family history. I lost hours adding up to days, possibly weeks, over these things, processing them and trying to protect or steel myself for 'more'. It didn't help anyone. I didn't learn anything from the mental compulsions except the benefits of isolating myself. I couldn't do the things I actually wanted to do, and I struggled more than usual with sleep and exercise. “Is your moral OCD even real?? Liberal guilt Tiktok idiot. Lmao” is such a hilarious recursive problem to introduce to a fragile mental ecosystem. Thanks. Hope this helps 

[thegriefbutton]

I wish I didn't overthink. I wish I didn't feel everything at 200% with very little reprieve because my OCD brain likes to hold on to things.

I am so bloody tired.