The Craziest Thing I Did For Seventeen
Ever since Ideal Cut and missing the chance to see them in 2018, I've been thinking of ways to fulfill my fangirl dreams without sacrificing my responsibility as a daughter and sister, and also my goals as a nurse.
Working in a private hospital doesn't give you lots of extra money for fangirling. My regular salary could only cover my daily expenses plus contributions for my family needs, so I could only save for my most awaited unannounced Seventeen concert by doing overtime, not using my holiday pay and saving my night differentials, plus super tight budgeting.
It took two years for them to finally announce "Ode to You" world tour. And this time, I'm planning on turning my plans into action.
But before that, I had to find ways to ensure that everything would go smoothly: first, is to arrange my schedule, second is to prove my parents that Seventeen is my drive towards success and not a distraction (because it it necessary for me to get their approval and I don't want them to think that I'm choosing Seventeen over practicality), and three, take my sister with me, because she's the reason why I saw them in the first place, now it's my turn to bring her to them. It's about time that I return the favor by chasing our happiness together.
The first one was resolved probably due to luck that I never knew I had.
Since I've already become a regular employee, I was entitled for an annual vacation, but my schedule was December 2019, while the concert was set on February 2020. I went to my nursing manager and asked if my vacation could be moved to February, but she said that it wouldn't be possible, since the date is fixed. But when she tried to check the schedule in the HR, conflict arised since 4 of us in the ICU department, have the same schedule, and due to under staffing, they needed to arrange it. I volunteered for my schedule to be moved to a later date and so February 1-15 was given to me as my vacation leave.
In my excitement, I already booked for the flight and hotel, a crazy impulsive decision that could only be paired with prayers, in hope that it would go the way I plan it to. (But in my defense I had to do it, because it's much cheaper if you booked it earlier than later)
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The second one was a challenge. How could I convince my parents that I know what to prioritize and that choosing Seventeen isn't impractical? The only answer I could find was to take the english proficiency exam that I was supposed to take 2 years ago, but doesn't have the guts to do it. I've already saved for the exam, but I always come up with excuses (or actually somewhat true) that I don't have time to study due to my work schedule.
But this time for Seventeen (and my nursing career), I'm willing to take a chance (although my non-risk taker self is shaking with anxiety).
It was late in November when I decided to book my exam, I was hoping to take it by December, but maybe God knows I'm still not prepared since I haven't studied intensively yet, that there was a conflict of schedule. My coworker already booked December, and since we're on the same shift, we must not be on leave at the same time. So, I booked the next available schedule, which is January, at least I still have a month to study for the test.
During night shifts, if I don't have anyhing to do, I would practice my writing, then on weekends I would practice my reading and listening. Everyday after duty, I would only sleep for about 6-7 hours, so that I could wake up then practice my speaking for 1-2 hours before my next shift.
Four days before my exam, I had to ask permission to be on leave, so that I could camp out at the site and buy my desired ticket. I had to study while waiting in line. Despite the long hours of waiting, I am determined and excited to finally buy my concert tickets. It also helped that Carats surrounded me, and I felt that I've really found my place. We met our mutuals, and chatted with our co-fans. It was a very memorable moment for me.
January 16,2020. Boo Seungkwan's Birthday and also the day of the exam. I was so nervous, and to calm my nerves, I silently prayed to God for guidance, I joked that "God if only the examiner would ask me about my favorite music, I would be sure that I could pass this exam, because I could talk about Seventeen all day". In my surprise, it was the first question for the first part of the exam. And that's when I knew that where God guides, he provides.
I believe that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve what I truly wanted the most. I passed the test with flying colors, and it helped me gain the approval of my mom to go to the concert.
But then 2020 strikes, and it seems that the pandora box was opened. Health threats due to the covid virus was rising, and everyone was worried that it would reach the country.
I knew the gravity of the situation, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go to the concert despite the fear. I started becoming desperate when most of the events were cancelled due to the pandemic.
I held onto that hope that God didn't let me achieve everything I did so far, just to break my heart. I already have the concert and plane tickets, and the hotel was already paid, but on top of all that, I didn't want to disappoint my sister, who wanted this so badly like I do, because after long years of waiting, she could finally have a chance to go home to Manila. Also, my friend, who has never been in any concerts (despite wanting to go), finally took the courage to do this for herself.
When Running Man announced the cancellation of their concert, which is one day after OTY. I couldn't help but cry. I feel like my world is falling apart. Without the fangirl side of me, I would just be my pessimistic, melancholic self who doesn't know how to have fun.
As if that's not bad news enough, due to the massive resignation in the Icu department, they had to rotate the ward staffs and place them in our department, and when they announced the name of the "new" Icu staffs, it feels like I've been struck by a lightning.
In my two years of working, I only had a conflict with two nurses from different departments: The girl who spread rumors about me and the senior nurse from my previous area who traumatized me during my junior days. So, how shocking was it that the newbies would be the both of them? I almost resigned right there and then.
But it only made my desire to go to the concert much stronger, because the only thing that could push me to work even in the most stressful environment with the most difficult co-workers would be Seventeen.
I felt so down as the days went nearer to the concert date. I felt that anytime they would announce the cancellation of the event, and I had to cancel everything I booked as well.
I wanted to tell myself that safety first, but the other side of me wanted to see them so badly...desperate even to risk and live presently without fear. I debated in my head that I would die faster working in the hospital rather than to a one-day concert.
I prayed to the Gods, even done some bargaining, so that we would all be safe to go to the concert. I would rather have toxic shifts with my toxic co-workers than to miss this concert. I was that desperate.
But Inang announced that the concert would push through.
*Insert happy tears and fangirl squeals*
I made the necessary preparations, so that I would ensure our safety. We brought n95 and surgical mask with us plus we take 1000 mg vitamin c everyday.
We encountered problems along the way such as the hotel canceling our reservation, even though I've already paid the downpayment, and heavy rains while searching for the hotel, but we made it.
We were able to sort out the problems, and enjoyed the day before the concert. We did some pilgrimage and went to Saem store where they did their fansigning event. We also stopped by their hotel, but just to look at the place.
On the day of the concert, we went inside the arena early, and was able to join the Carat activities. It was exhilarating to be on the same area as Seventeen, and I felt so ecstatic like I'm in cloud nine.
Although me and my friends were separated by barricade while we're looking for coffee, we still had a great time chatting with others.
Finally, we we're allowed to go inside and find our VIP seats. I was so overwhelmed, because of how close it was to the stage as compared to my previous lower box experience, that I couldn't stop from shedding happy tears. My sister was in awe, and I held onto her as I calm myself.
This is the moment I've been waiting for. Not only these past 2 years, but I think that I needed this for my whole life.
I cried once again after the concert. I was so happy. I've never been this happy in my life. Everything was worth it and I don't regret anything.
SepAnx was real, as me, my sister and my friend, cried during our flight back to the province. But despite the longing, we knew that February 8, 2020 will forever go down in the history as the perfect day when we were able to reached goals, and became the happiest fangirl in the universe.
Hopefully, we would be able to do this again when the world heals. And when that time comes, I hope we'll see them, all thirteen of them.