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What kind of duck steals bath soap?

A Robber Duck

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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* Rand: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. Everyone: Y/n: ...I did. I broke it. Rand: No. No you didn't. MYC? MYC: Don't look at me. Look at Brett. Brett: What?! I didn't break it! MYC: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? Brett, anxious: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken? MYC: Suspicious Brett: No, it's not! Andre: If it matters, probably not, but Gigi was the last one to use it. Gigi: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! Andre: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? Gigi: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Andre! Y/n: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Rand. Rand: No! Who broke it!? Everyone:...... Andre: Y/n... Brett's been awfully quiet. Brett: rEALLY?! *Everyone starts arguing* Rand, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Rand:.... Rand: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.