collab with the coolest @togreblog thanks for giving me PURE ANGST to work with (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
“What do I do?”
“Well you can’t just leave him there,” Elain said. Nesta had never heard her voice so disappointed.
She snapped an out of season cosmo out of a row in Elain’s garden. “He didn’t like me before, and now he’s going to feel obligated to want me. After a few months, it will wear off and he’ll be tired of me again.”
“Nesta, that’s ridiculous.”
“That’s what happened with Tomas.”
Elain’s eyes turned suddenly sad. “No, it isn’t. Tomas didn’t respect you at all, and he didn’t love you like he said he did. Cassian clearly respects you. And if he kissed you, he must have feelings for you. It’s different —”
“It doesn’t feel different,” Nesta said sharply.
“Doesn’t it?” Elain pulled the flower from between Nesta’s fingers, held it out over the dirt, and used her magic to replant it. “Really think about it. Does this actually feel the same as the dynamic with Tomas? That’s a very serious thing to say.”
Nesta sat, looking at the sky (which always made her think of him now). She let her fingers run over the grass, not pulling any blades out since Elain would only magic them back in.
“Nesta?”
“It’s different,” she said grudgingly. “Of course Cassian would never do that.”
“He wouldn’t,” Elain agreed.
“It’s just that he has such a reputation. He gets around, you know?”
Elain scoffs. “He does not. He’s barely been with anyone in 500 years because he feels so bad about Mor. Even though she and Az have been talking about it recently, Cassian didn’t want to tip the balance.”
“Who told you that?”
“Lucien.” At Nesta’s skeptical glance, she continued. “Apparently he’s very perceptive about court dynamics.”
“So now what?” Nesta asked dejectedly. “I’ve already told him that I know he doesn’t want me —”
“And he does,” Elain interrupted.
“Fine. If he does, I’ve left him alone in that cabin for a week now. I’ve made him think I don’t want him. I can’t just go there…”
“That’s exactly what you have to do! Swallow your pride for half a minute and tell him you love him. He’ll cook for you. I already know.”
Nesta raised an eyebrow. “Don’t I have to cook for him?”
“You felt the bond, so…I don’t think so. Also, don’t you love him?”
“Yes,” Nesta said quietly, hoping Cassian was too far away to hear any of these thoughts down the bond.
“So now he has to show you he loves you.”
Nesta stood up and offered Elain a hand. “You think he’ll want me?”
“Who wouldn’t, Nesta?” When Nesta didn’t reply, she moved so that she was in her sister’s sightline. “Nesta, you’re worth loving. I love you. You should love yourself. I promise Cassian will love you, too.”
“Thank you, Elain.” And, leaving her sister in the garden, Nesta summons her wings and takes off.
