Louis Tomlinson Imagine: Honeymoon Lovers *Requested*
@lovey-harry
maybe a oneshot where it's louis and y/n's honeymoon/ the night after being married? :) it's totally okay if u don't, I've just been obsessed with weddings lately
AN: My first one which isn’t Harry, enjoy my darling! I do have a tag list, but I haven’t included it in this as it contains smut, and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable for being tagged in it! x
Not yet proofread!
Masterlist
Warning: Includes smut and swearing
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You had officially been married to the love of your life for just over 24 hours. Every second of the day was perfect. It was a warm September wedding, in the grounds of Ripley Castle in Yorkshire.
Louis reminded you every day for eleven years that you were a princess, and for a day, you really felt it.
You had spent the day after your wedding opening wedding gifts with your husband, and being surrounded with your friends and family. It wasn't often everyone had a chance to be together. It's not always easy to catch up with everyone on your wedding day, so to have the day to spend with them, pack all the wedding bits left over and relax after what was an incredibly overwhelming last couple of weeks...you were so blessed.
It was the following afternoon you arrived at your secret honeymoon destination. Three weeks of pure sun, sand and sex with your beautiful husband in a beautiful county. Italy.
The brightest of white villas you had ever laid eyes on, a shocking contrast against the bright blue sky, getting itself ready for the evening sunset.
“Lou...this is...” Your jaw dropped to the floor, as you stand like a deer in headlights.
“You haven’t seen the rest yet baby” He grins, taking your hand tightly as the driver helped to bring all the bags in.
As you walked inside, you suddenly felt ten times smaller. You’d never seen a place so wide and open. Two large grey sofas sat with a view of the beautiful ocean, as well as having a relaxing infinity pool on the other side of the doors.
To the left of the sofa’s there was a large kitchen area, a small downstairs bathroom and a utility cupboard. To the right, was a large white staircase, leading to 4 upstairs bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. The Master bedroom had one wall full of floor to ceiling windows, complete with French doors leading out to a balcony and...is that a hot tub?
There was a four-poster California King Bed, overlooking more of the sea, the room a pristine white complete with light grey cushions, a throw and a large armchair in the corner.
“This is so tidy!” You giggle softly, as you felt Louis strong arms engulf you from behind. “Mmmm...” He grins. “I don’t think this will stay tidy for very long” He teases, his hands shifting your hair to the side, pressing soft wet kisses from your shoulder, up your neck and underneath your ear.
Your cheeks turn red as his hands rub your hips gently, pushing your bum back into him slightly. “Thank you Lou...this place is so beautiful. I love you so much” You whisper, turning around to meet his gaze, snaking your arms around his neck tightly.
“I love you...Mrs Tomlinson” He whispers against your lips before lifting you up to his waist, your legs wrapping tight around him as he lays you into the white sheets.
“Mmmm look at you, my beautiful wife” He grins, his eyes gleaming as he holds your left hand, kissing your wedding ring over and over again before pressing more kisses up your arm, around your neck and down your chest onto your stomach while he stands at the foot of the best.
You squeal softly, gentle giggles escaping your lips “Lou stop teasing...” You smile widely.
“Just giving you the love you deserve” He whispers against your ear, his breath hot and heavy against your skin, sending shivers down your spine and feeling a warm fire in the pit of your stomach.
You let out a gentle moan and lean back into the mattress, feeling Louis hands slip under your shirt. You take a deep breath and sit up gently “Wait...” You whisper, pushing his hands away.
“Baby, are you alright?” He gives you a worried look as you give him a wide smile.
“Go out the room for a second...I won’t be a minute” You whisper, giving him a sly smile. He raises a curious eyebrow and holds his hands up “Alright, I’ll be on the balcony” He smiles, kissing you one last time before heading outside.
You quickly rush into your suitcase and drag it out of sight into the bathroom. You rummage around in a hurry, pulling out a lace white lingerie set, you had planned to wear this for Louis on the night of your wedding, but by the time Louis got your dress off, you were both way too eager to wait.
You strip your comfy clothes off and pull on your lace. Quickly, you spray yourself with your wedding perfume, and pull your hair up into a slick, high pony tail.
You smile as you poke your head round the door, seeing Louis on the balcony still, watching the sea, with his back to you. You quietly crawl onto the bed and sit up, leaning on your hands.
“Come on then Mr Tomlinson. What are you waiting for?” You call out to him with a wide grin. He turns around, wandering back in and his eyes widen, his gaze glued to your beautiful body.
“Fuck...my wife is gorgeous” He growls playfully, pulling his shirt off as he strolls over to you. “Let me take care of my wife now” He grins, his hands roaming the sheer lace, his lips pressing on your belly button, leaving sloppy kisses down towards your crotch.
His finger gently swiping over the thin material of your underwear. “Look at that...only just put it on and you’re wet already” He mumbles against your skin.
Leaning up, he presses his lips against yours passionately, his tongue swiping your bottom lip as his hips teasingly rock against yours, feeling his bulge press against your warmth.
“Fuck...Lou...please” You whimper softly, your teeth gently nipping on his bottom left.
“Shhh, I got you” He smirks, his finger hooking on your underwear before tugging it down slightly, his lips pressing up and down your thighs, sucking gently on your sensitive skin, worshiping every inch of you.
“Lou...please baby” You felt your breath getting caught in your throat as his kisses continue up against your slit, his tongue ever so slightly swiping your wet lips. You felt your spine shiver and gasp softly as his finger gently pushes into you.
“Look at my girl...so wet” He moans softly, before his lips re-attach to your sensitive clit, his moans sending vibrations through your veins.
“Baby...shit that’s so good” You whimper, your hands raking through his hair and tugging them closer into your thighs.
He adds another finger into you, pumping in and out, picking the pace up as his tongue presses against you, flicking on your clit as your whines fill the room.
“So sweet baby...being such a good girl” He moans softly as he felt your walls begin to tighten around his fingers. “Cum over my fingers Mrs Tomlinson” He groans, curling his fingers up into your g-spot as you felt the fire deep in your stomach begin to ache
“Baby...please I-I’m so close” You whine, your back arching as your hands grip the sheets.
“Come on baby...that’s it. Let go” He moans, as you release over his hand.
He slowly pulled his fingers out of you, hovering above you and looking deep into your eyes, taking one of his fingers into his mouth, sucking off your juices slowly then he holds his second finger in front of your lips.
Without hesitation, you slowly sucked of his finger, keeping the eye contact strong. Knowing it was his weakness.
You flip your legs under his and roll the two of you over, tugging at the waistband of his joggers, your hand slowly rubbing against his hard cock through the material of his tight boxers.
“Who made you this hard Lou? Hm? Was it your wife?” You couldn’t help but to tease. A smirk tugging on his lips. “Always...my wife” He moans softly. As you pull his tight boxes down, a groan escaping his lips as he didn’t feel restricted anymore.
Your hand grips onto him as you stroke his shaft teasingly, his tip glistening with pre-cum as you lean down and swipe your tongue along him, wiping the pre-cum away.
“B-baby...” he whispers, his hands going to grip your hair. You simply gaze down at him and shake your head.
“P-please...” He begs.
“Oh look at that...Louis Tomlinson begs for his wife” You smirk, taking his wrists and pinning them above his head, teasingly grinding your hips against his, the juices from your pussy adding extra lubrication on his cock. Yu press teasing kissed along his neck. You wasn’t one to usually take control in the bedroom...but you were a new woman now!
“You want me that bad huh Lou?” You lean into his ear. He gulped heavily and whimpered at your teasing grinds.
“Please...Baby please...need you so bad” he groans, sinking his teeth into your shoulder.
You press his head against your clit with a moan, before you slowly sink yourself onto his cock. You lips attaching passionately to Louis’ lips, like you two were starving at was your first meal.
“Fuck!” You gasp and groan, your thighs tight to his sides as you straddle him. You wrap your arms around his neck as his arms snake your waist, grinding his hips up into yours.
With your lips against his neck, your moans were louder and driving him wild. “Baby, that feels so good...filling your wife up well” You moan, pushing yourself further onto his cock.
“Fuck...keep grinding baby, keep going” He growls against your skin, his head rolling back. His hands firm on your waist as he lifts his knees up, allowing him to thrust faster into you.
You let out a whimper as you sit up, your hands on his chest as you feel a firm sting to your bum cheek, a gasp leaving your lips as you let out another loud moan.
“Fuck, baby do that again” You whimper.
“Looks who’s begging now Mrs Tomlinson” He smirks, growling as he leaves a red handprint on your sensitive skin.
“Fuck...fuck baby I’m gonna cum...please cum with me” He groans and squeezes your skin tightly.
There was no way you was going to let him take to final grasp of control.
You begin to slow down your thrusts smirking, “You won’t cum until I tell you...” You moan softly, causing him to let out another whimper. “Not until after I’ve cum anyway”
“Shit...please...baby fuck!” He growls and arches his back, you could tell he was keeping his orgasm at bay.
You pull on one of his hands and bring his thumb onto your clit as you ride him deeply. “Rub my clit baby...mmm just like that” You gasp, throwing your head back as you pick up speed again.
“Fuck...you love when I do this huh?” He moans, his thumb grazing you, teasing at your clit as he begins to feel you clenching around him. “Cum for my baby...cum all over my cock so I can fill you up” He moans, thrusting his hips up into you again.
“Shit...I’m cumming baby...s-so...close” You cry in pleasure as sparks flew up your stomach, your legs shaking and your stomach clenching.
“I-I can’t hold it any longer” He groans, “Please...please let me cum baby” He whimpers.
You push yourself back down onto his cock, your head buried in his neck as you grind your hips. “Cum for me baby...show your wife what you’ve got” You beg and groan, his head throwing back in relief as he finally releases his orgasm.
You slowly ride him out, keeping him inside you for a moment before pulling yourself off and collapsing beside him.
“I love you so much...”Y/N Tomlinson” He breaths out, panting heavily. His limbs felt weak, but he rolled himself over and kissed you passionately.
“I love you more Louis Tomlinson” You whisper, kissing him back and cuddling into him tightly.
Harry reunites with Olivia after he settles in a relationship with Taylor Swift. [4.5k]
Genre: angst, fluff
Warnings: substance abuse, mentions of panic attacks, mental health struggles, infidelity
January 2013
“I just left the keys with Nialler, mine and El’s, tomorrow we’ll come pick up the rest of my clothes” Louis explains over the phone while Harry looks at the New York landscape through snowy windows.
After the successful tour, there was no more financial reason to share a flat with Lou, and before that there was not a good healthy climate to share it either. He felt terrible seeing him every day after they shared such intimate moments. They’re still close friends, just not as much as they used to be, and it hurts. He misses the days when they would play video games on the couch and diss each other’s clothing, he misses the companionship they shared. In fact, looking back to this time last year, there’s a lot of things he misses. His anonymity, his mum’s house, Oli...
Boy, does he miss Oli.
Few months after her first big hit debuted, launching her album and promoting their tour, she became too stressed. She felt the hate and the press lurking around her like vultures, she cried about small things, she smoked three packs a day, she became aloof and apathetic. One day, it was all too much.
Since she decided to live with Frank her mother has shut her out, they haven’t been on speaking terms. Right after the tour, when her band started racing up the charts, a tabloid wrote an article with her mum spilling all of her life story. Oli’s always been very secretive about her family history, Harry knew the basics but she seldom talked about it. So one day she woke up and everybody, in the whole world, knew and judged her for it.
Looking out the window, the New York landscape disappears and he’s back in her hotel room holding her by the shoulders, her eyes puffy and vague, her tear-soaked face was catatonic. She had been kneeling on the living room unable to move or talk for hours and it scared him. She was absolutely broken, and no amount of love declamations and tears were enough to bring her out of that loop.
Harry took her to a mental institution that day and never saw her again, all he heard from Frank was that she went back home to make peace with her mother. That was back in September, now it’s January and he still haven’t heard from her, so he’s trying to move on. He’s been hanging out with Taylor, she’s good company – and, most importantly, a good distraction. They’re set to travel tomorrow and enjoy some well deserved vacation but he hasn’t packed swimsuits or anything, so he’s going out to buy some after he’s done with Lou.
“It’s alright mate”
“Okay, I’d hand it to you in person but I was thinking about taking El to meet my mum”
“Wow, that’s huge!” he smiles sadly, he never got to introduce Oli to his mum. Bet they’d get along just fine. “You think you’ll be back in time for rehearsals?”
“Can’t miss that, Simon’d just kick my arse”
He chuckles, “Right, see ya then”
“See ya” they both hang up.
Although Taylor offered to host him at her private loft in Chelsea, Harry opted to book a hotel room on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, next to where Olivia used to live. So, when he goes out for a morning jog, he always walks past her building and the pub where she used to work. This morning, he packs up to go shopping and leaves the hotel, reaching a point where, if he makes a turn, he’ll reach the tube and go shopping right away, if he goes forward he’ll pass in front of Uncle Jim’s Pub, but he’ll have to walk another twenty minutes before he finds another station.
It’s a pointless ritual, going over to Uncle Jim’s. She’s never there. But he can’t help that fear in his guts of missing an hour on the day where she might just be. So, despite all logic, he goes forward.
He soldiers through the cold morning stomping over melted snow until he passes over the pub. He looks through the window and this time spots something odd, or rather, someone: a man in a dress sitting over the bar.
He comes closer, rubbing the glass to see better. He spots Jim sitting on one of the tables, his signature cane beside him. They’re both looking at the same spot on stage but he can’t quite see it. Slowly, he opens the door and immediately hears the soft piano tiles playing something harmoniously crude but melodically so, so sweet.
There she is, beautifully onstage playing the piano forte, her back perfectly straight, her signature braids are gone, her hair a small afro surrounding tanned cheeks. She looks sober and... peaceful, all her nervous agitation is gone, she looks healthy.
He hides behind the bar, bumping into the portraits on the wall: Uncle Jim with Brian May and David Bowie, Oli and Frank sitting on Elton John’s knees, Paul McCartney watching her play the piano. He remembers Oli talking about uncle David and uncle Paul but he never saw it like this, her sweet toothless smile alongside some of the biggest rockstars in the world. She has a lot to live up to, maybe he didn’t realise that. He didn’t realise a lot of things.
For a while, Oli was just the thrill of the chase, someone untouchable who graced him with her affection. But then they went on tour and suddenly she wasn’t just a fling, she was a friend who stood at the backstage every single show, who talked to him until late hours on the tour bus, she shared her most vulnerable side and he loved it, he loved her. Those stolen kisses and quick fucks became meaningful, they became friends then they became lovers. That’s why it was so hard to watch her crumble.
The portrait he bumps smashes on the ground making them all turn, including Olivia.
It’s like she’s seen a ghost. And so has he.
“Harry” she gasps, getting up from the stool. Jim and Frank both turn toward him with big salutary gestures.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-“
“Oh, don’t worry! How’ve you been? It’s been a while!” Jim nods, unable to get up.
“Jim, we better give ‘em some room” Frank, always the expert on reading the room.
“No, no, no need, we’re going outside” she indicates for him to follow her out the door. Before she walks out she notices Frank’s weird looks, she sends one back signaling it’s alright in their own mental language and pushes Harry out the door.
Harry is still appalled, trying to make sense of things while his eyes are assaulted by the winter morning’s sun. She pulls the door until it’s shut and, when she turns to leave, she finds herself being cornered against the glass by Harry. She stumbles back before being welcomed into his embrace.
He sighs in relief, feeling her hair tickling his cheek as it used to do. He can’t help but smile at the sensation of her body pressed against his and her gentle hands making their way to his back. “I missed you so much”
“I missed you too” she sighs through a smile. “I’m so sorry for the silence”
“I understand” he kisses the top of her head, “how’re you feeling?”
“Fulfilled, relieved... it’s like there’s a huge weight off my shoulders” she steps to his right, “You’re heading this way?”
“I- I don’t know”
“Jesus, Harry, let’s just walk” she mocks, “How are the boys?”
“They’re fine, Zayn and Perrie just moved in together”
“Nice” she swallows dryly, hadn’t she gone away maybe she and Harry would be living together.
“Niall is going out with someone, he won’t tell us who but we know” he chuckles, “we’re making bets on it, wanna join?”
“Sure” she replies, still thoughtful.
Noticing her discomfort, he hurriedly switches the subject, “I guess things with your mum were alright”
“It was fine, we just needed some quality time to put our thoughts in order. And Frank helped a lot, you know, getting her to know him made all the difference” she smiles earnestly, “He’s the fucking best, I couldn’t have done it without him”
“Blimey...”
“What?”
“I just... nothing, it’s silly”
“You’re silly all the time, tell me!” she taunts him with a smile.
“I already know what you’re going to say” he warns, “but sometimes I wish you were talking about me” he shrugs his shoulders.
“You’re such a-“
“-jelly baby, yeah I know!” she laughs, a laugh he was dying to hear.
“- such a jelly baby”
“Oli” he cuts that sweet sound, “I need to know... did you ever get to hear what I said to you the day you passed out?”
“No... sorry Haz, I just zoned out. What was it?”
“No, it’s nothing”
“What? Why are you so secretive today?” she continues to taunt.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t expect to meet a lot of people today, least of all you...” a thought crosses his mind, cutting his speech, “When did you arrive?”
“Just this morning, I got a night flight from Rio-“
“Were you going to call me? After all that happened?”
Olivia ponders for a moment, afraid of giving him an honest answer. He’s always been sincere, even if it hurt her, now it’s time to return the favour: “I don’t think so, Haz... It’s not because I don’t care about you or anything like that, it’s just...” she looks for the words but this time they’re hard to uncover, “I’m feeling fine now, but I can’t forget the fright I gave you. I don’t remember what you said or what was actually going on but I have a clear image of you just” she crosses her arms over her collarbones, “holding me so hard I almost choked, I can’t imagine how that felt to you... and I don’t want to put you through that again. I’m fine now but I don’t know how I’m gonna be tomorrow, I still feel the old me lurking just around the corner. Feeling fine is new territory to me, but I don’t know how you fit into this”
He nods, “Let me know when you do?”
She grins, “Of course! Yes, of course!”
And then she does it again, hugs him like she used to, pressing her whole body against him and nestling her head on the crook of her neck. He wants to turn her and kiss her so bad, but he can’t do it. That’s what they used to be, not who they are.
“I better get back, Frank must be losing his shit... how long you’ll be around?”
“I’m leaving tomorrow, me and... hm... Taylor”
“Taylor?” she frowns. Fuck.
For all the tabloids and gossip websites, she has to hear it from him. Why can’t she just use her phone like a normal human being and read the fucking news? “Taylor Swift? We’ve been hanging out...”
“Oh...” she gasps in surprise.
“You didn’t say anything, I assumed-“
“No, it’s alright” her words don’t align with her face, “It’s ok Harry, really”
“You don’t seem ok”
“I’m just surprised, that’s all” she compensates with an awkward smile, “I’m happy for you”
“Thanks” he replies with a sour taste, he can feel when they’re not being honest to each other, in this cases cordiality is worse than just lying. Lying just hides something, cordiality shoves the thing in your face and acts like it’s not there.
“Oh, just in case I don’t get to see you anytime soon” she reaches into her sleeves and takes a colourful bracelet, “just a little souvenir from Rio, I was going to keep it in my bag but I thought I’d lose it”
“Thanks Oli, that’s lovely” he watches as she ties it around his wrist.
“Well it was great to see you, have a nice trip tomorrow!” she pecks his cheek and leaves.
Just as she came, she went away. Not a moment with Oli ever feels wasted but they sure do feel short. Without any options, Harry goes on with his day chores which now include buying swim gear for a trip he doesn’t want to make anymore.
He lifelessly picks random trunks and floral shirts, taking fewer than he’ll actually need then takes a cab to Taylor’s place. When he arrives the Chelsea flat, she’s reading a book on the couch, her perfect blond hair on a ponytail.
“Hey, stranger!” she looks over the backboard.
“Morning!” he comes over and kisses her temple, but she calls him back with a finger and presses her lips against his. “What’re you up to?”
“Not much, just finishing this” she shows him a copy of The Hunger Games, “I’m loving it. Everything’s already packed, I guess we’ll just wait around”
“I could use a nap, jet lag is driving me mad” he scoots over the couch and pulls himself a pillow, laying his head over Taylor’s lap. She rests her book over his chest while mindlessly playing with his fingers. While she’s distracted, he notices something about her face: even without any makeup, Taylor’s lips are still tinted red, which contrast beautifully with her stark blue eyes. Despite having a beauty of her own, she reminds him so much of Lou. For the second time today, he feels an uncomfortable void on his guts after remembering fondly someone he loved.
He turns his gaze away, it hurts so bad to be haunted by these people who feel so close and vivid but at the same time feel like a distant memory, a ghost. He talked to Louis on the phone, he just saw Olivia on the flesh, Taylor is right in front of him caressing his hand but they feel so foreign. Maybe they’ve changed a lot ever since that idealised moment when they fell in love, maybe Harry’s the one who’s changed.
“Hey” she whispers, “what’s going on in your head?”
“Just thinking... do you still talk to the people you used to date?”
She chuckles at he spontaneous question, “Not on purpose, I always bump into them at these big events and of course everybody knows, so I have to be polite. If I even blink wrong the whole world will be like: Taylor Swift is just a bitter old hag”
“Come on, now”
“It’s true! If I talk to them, I’m fake, if I don’t talk to them, I’m rude, there’s no winning for us girls. You guys can do whatever you want!” she pokes his side, “If you see your ex and talk to them you’re oh, so polite and considerate, if you don’t talk you’re really discrete-“
“I get it” he nods in agreement. “But that’s not what I meant, it’s like... can you still be friends with people you used to be more than friends?”
“You and your weird questions” she mocks him lightly before sighing and finally answering: “It’s weird being friendly with someone you shared so much intimacy with”
“Yeah” he nods.
“ Just seeing them reminds me of something that I used to feel but I can’t talk about it, so I always end up tiptoeing around it and I... I hate it. I’m usually very straightforward but in these tight corners I never say what I really mean”
He nods silently. If he could see Oli again, what would he say? There was so much he wanted to say, in fact he already said it but she wasn’t able to listen. It’s so frustrating...
Taylor and him spend the day together lounging around, making out and napping. At some point they nap in a hammock, her body cuddled against his while the night falls outside. She sleeps very quietly while he doesn’t sleep at all, just stare at his new bracelet and ponders upon the last words Oli said today: ‘just in case I don’t get to see you anytime soon’. In a few weeks he’ll go on tour, her band split and they have no projects mapped out, when will they actually see each other again? On tour, they spent every day together except the ones when they’d be tired of each other and just spent the day apart. It’s so upsetting not knowing when he’ll see her again, that feeling just turns to a small pit of fear in his heart. What if his story with Oli is already over? It can’t be, he still has so much he wants to do, so many places to take her.
But coming back from his daydream he finds himself laying with another girl. Shouldn’t he be planning things with her? For fuck’s sake, they’re about to take a romantic trip together! Still, looking ahead to his future, he can see nobody but Olivia. She’s left such a gap in his present and in his future he can’t stand the possibility of not taking a chance.
Trying his best not to disturb her, Harry gets up from the hammock and walks to the kitchen. The fridge light washes the room white as he finds the rest of the wine bottle, there’s just two gulps left so he decides to take the whole thing. When he closes the fridge, surprisingly the room doesn’t go dark as the moon shines furiously through the windows. Another memory hits him: when he and Oli hid on the roof of their hotel in Phoenix. She took a bottle of rosé and a few blankets, cuddling with him while trying to remove the cork. She said “I hope you like a good rosé, I hate red wine”, and ever since then he lost the habit of drinking red wine... until today.
As if to defy her memory he drinks the wine anyway but somehow the taste feels repugnant. Even now, she still haunts him. He looks over to Taylor and an enormous guilt befalls him. She is incredible, a good company, but his heart still beats for somebody else. He hits his head against the fridge in shame but it won’t change how he feels... so he decides to seek counselling.
He calls Zayn at least three times but not even a friend in need can dissuade him from deep slumber. So, he heads to the balcony and calls his second option, the one he wants to avoid but can’t anyways: “Hey curly, what’s going on? It’s a bit late here”
“I know Lou, I’m so sorry I just couldn’t help it”
“It’s alright, I’m up already. What’s going on?”
“I saw Oli today, she’s back in New York” he blurts at once, looking back at the balcony door to make sure Taylor’s still asleep.
“That’s great man, cheers-“
“Yeah, except I’m with Taylor now and I can’t stop thinking about Oli”
The line goes quiet for a moment. “Oh... that’s bad”
“I don’t know what to do, mate”
“Harry... I should tell you to stay with Taylor, you know, ‘cause she’s a nice gal and she helped you out of a tough place, but...” he smiles sadly, “I know if I tell you this is the right thing to do you’ll do it, even if it hurts you”
Harry snorts, “I probably would”
“Exactly, so I can’t tell you that. Listen mate, I... I fucking adore you, you’re one of my best mates and I know what happened between us hurt you”
“It’s alright now, Lou”
“I know it is, but I don’t want to be that wanker to tell you ‘just forget your feelings and do what you have to do’, you know?”
He chuckles, “Sure mate”
“See? So, in my humble opinion, you should go for Oli. I know you’re crazy ‘bout that lass... and, you know, we won’t get everything we want in life, specially us if we keep the band thing going. The least you can do is have fun with someone you love”
“Thanks, Lou”
“Anytime curly... ‘though if you can call a bit earlier”
“Right, right... bye mate”
Olivia tosses and turns on her bed. The flat is so quiet when Frank’s not home, it’s unnerving, specially when she’s emotionally wavering. She gets up and away from her tormented thoughts and searches for one of her vinyls, she could do with a bit of music to drown it all out. She finds ‘Rumors’ from Fleetwood Mack and places it on the speaker, swinging to the melody of the first track and letting the tune fill her ears. She starts to assemble a cigarette while keeping a distant eye on her phone, she’s been trying to avoid it ever since the breakdown but seeing Harry today was very triggering. A spark of curiosity hits her but she refrains, last time she spent too much time on her phone she ended up in a psychiatric hospital.
She finishes rolling her cigarette and lights it, getting up and singing along. It’s a good song, but not good enough to distract her from the temptation of her phone.
“Fuck it” she reaches the phone and searches for Twitter. Turns out Frank deleted it so she has to download it again, letting the anxiety take her reins as nervous tears cloud her view. Sighing in frustration, she logs in her secret account and searches for Taylor and Harry. “So stupid, so fucking stupid” she puts it down.
Oli takes a long drag, holds it for a while then let go, letting one single tear fall down in self pity. Unnerved, she takes the phone back. She looks at the search results: Harry and Taylor walking down Central Park with Baby Lux, kissing after her midnight show in Times Square, talking at a restaurant. And of course, where there is a new girlfriend there will be comparisons:
@directionfever: Thank god he’s moving on from his drug dealer.
@bluejayway: my boy Harry looking like a prince with that new chick, he finally getting what he deserves
@styyles_xo: That’s the smile of someone who ain’t playing nurse anymore and’s finally living <3
@larryxx: taylor aint all that but at least harry is free from that fucking pr relationship
Oh yes, the PR argument. Of course Harry and Olivia were arranged by a group of public relations managers in order to promote her career, as if she couldn’t possibly fall in love with him just for the sake of it. And boy did she fall graciously in love with him. It felt so strange seeing him this morning and just not squeeze his cheeks and give him a kiss, she didn’t even feel like the same person. Now he’s going away and all she wants is to fuck all logic and reason and just get him back like nothing ever happened. But of course, everything happened. She made a choice to stay away after she came back, now she has to deal with the most uncomfortable consequences
Before she can fall deeper into that self-doubt abyss, there are knocks on the door. “Frank? Did you forget the keys?” she asks wiping her tears.
She opens it to find Harry.
“Haz?” all coherent thoughts evade her, “W-What’re you doing here, it’s past midnight already-“
“Did you, hm... did you see the moon?” she frowns at him but not completely dismissive, “It looks just like that night... bloody hell Oli, do you remember that night? On the roof?”
“Yes, I remember” she chuckles.
“If I close my eyes I can see it clear as day, I remember every single day I spent with you clear as day, it’s so clear I can almost touch it, love” he sighs shyly.
“Harry...” she gasps.
“The first night on the bus! Do you remember it?”
“Harry I had a breakdown, not amnesia!” she laughs before noticing the typical agitation on her hallway and the neighbors paying attention to their exchange, “Shit, come on in”
“What I’m trying to say, the best way I can is... I have this very vivid memory of you and I thought that’s all I’d ever have. But when I saw you this morning... I thought we still had a chance” he reaches out for her, before slowly recoiling at her lack of response, sitting at the couch’s arm rest. “Please say something?”
She quirks her head, “Is that Frank’s shirt?”
He looks down at the plain white t-shirt and frowns, “This?”
“The one he gave to me and then I gave it to you?”
“Hm... yeah, did you hear-“
“I did” she smiles shortly, “I just don’t know what to say, I mean I was just here bawling my eyes out thinking I’d never get to see you again and all of a sudden you’re here saying all these things!” her voice cracks. She stops, takes a deep breath and continues: “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say”
“You could say: ‘I’m really, really in love with you and I want to try again’” he mimics her lower pitched-voice while pulling her closer by the hem of her shirt. She giggles at his little tantrum, pacing closer until his chin rests between her breasts. Without another word, she strokes his curly locks of hair and holds him close agains her bosom. He nuzzles a straight line from her sternum to her collarbone, feeling just a tinge of her cologne. Every crawling touch feels like he’s desperately trying to remember how it feels to have her heartbeat singing in his ear.
He pulls her shirt collar down and the loose fabric slides revealing a bit more of skin and a couple more tattoos. He runs his lips over it, feeling the sweet taste of her skin just as it used to be. Looking up, he sees her eyes lightly shut, her parted lips lit by the moonlight that invades the living room. He remembers when having her like this was enough, when he felt truly alive. Olivia is still everything he really needs, the rest is the rest. She’s not a ghost, she’s not a reverie, she looks, sounds, tastes, smells and feels so real to him, it’s impossible to desire any other incarnation of her other then the very present one.
“Haz” she sighs in a whimper, pushing him away a bit. She tries but she can’t escape his looming eyes. “I know I have no right to ask anything from you... “ her courage suddenly evades her, “but I don’t want you to go”
He cups her cheeks in a small comforting gesture, “I won’t go anywhere”
“What about Taylor? She must be so upset with me”
“Believe me, you’re not the one she’s upset with, it’s ok” he dismisses it, leaning in to kiss her lips passionately. “I’m right where I want to be” she smiles and kisses him back.
