#onlinediary

[bossapplesauce]

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego’s another

I beg you, don’t embarrass me…. 🎵

[reynanghugot]

sobrang saya ng puso ko after ko marinig kahaponna sinabi ng doctor ko, 'okay, no need for scan na next year' 'okay na results mo better than last year' 'regardless of your diagnosis, clear ka na from cancer' 'more on monitoring nalang tayo and ultrasound kasi nasa genes niyo all types of cancer ha?' and pinaka natuwa ako nung pagtayo ko before ako lumabas sabi niya, 'okay congrats! see you March next year' 🥹 despite of all the gastos, stress, pressure na naranasan ko in that whole month of February dahil sa preparation ko for that scan worth it. Kasi alam ko pag isang araw pumalpak doon o nag positive automatic either RAI nanaman ako or Chemo. Tapos kanina pagbalik ko sa office around 2pm, kinausap ako ng supervisor ko. Diniscuss niya evaluation nila sakin tapos nabasa ko rin na, 'approved for regularization' like guys grabe talaga i feel like sobrang worth it yung pag-iyak ko kagabi. kasi andon na ko sa point na I am questioning myself, bakit ganito ang life sakin like 2023, diagnosed ako ng thyroid cancer after operahan tas ni-radiation therapy ako tas nawalan pa ko ng work. 2024, scan uli wala pa din work financial problem tas eto nanaman early 2025, scan financial problem kasi lahat napunta sa scan & meds tapos kapalit pala non kahit paano good news. Nakahinga na ko ng konti. Nakahinga na ko ng maayos. Yung anxiety na nararamdaman ko the whole month of February napalitan na ng saya. I'm getting back on my feet na kanina and finally it's pay back time sa mga tumulong sa akin, sa mga di naghesitate na sumuporta sakin at di ako iniwanan sa ere nung time na lumapit ako to seek help. Though, di pa din ako papakampante kasi nga alam ko traydor ang Cancer at nasa lahi talaga namin ito pero for now ieenjoy ko muna. Agh, thank you Lord talaga.

[xomicaiah]

i've learned this hard. this is your fucking life. no matter what it looks like in the moment, it's yours. take pride, toughen up if things are hard and find your optimism.

[written-by-m]

Unexpected happenings.

We all met people for a reason. So make sure to be ready when unexpected things happens.

I was talking to a guy for almost 6 months, we always talk everyday talk about our lives and what happened to our daily work. Until I got attached, but I am so afraid that we might not have the same intensions with each other, so I still talk to him even though I am not sure if this is going somewhere. Until one day, it suddenly stopped. We lost our contact with each other, he starts not replying. And that's how I realized that there's nothing going between us. We are just friends. That 6 months of continuously talking with each other is just nothing.... for him.

That's why I decided not to message him anymore, cause remember no answer is an answer.

Until I met another guy, we have been talking for a few weeks, we connected a lot in different ways. Interests and hobbies. After a few weeks of talking, its weird and strange that I felt something different. He makes me feel happy everyday in that 1 week span. And I know he feels the same way because he is very vocal about it. He keeps saying that I am adorable, and likes everything about me. Until we decided to take it to the next step.

That's the time I realized that, it's not really about the timeline, it's about the intention of the person you will meet. You might be able to meet a someone and stay in your life for almost a year but in the end, their intention is not to pursue you. Then you will meet again someone and get to know them for a week but they will let you feel that you're their universe.

So make sure you are giving your precious times to someone who has the same intention as you are.

[pipers-hell]

Sometimes I wonder if I actually enjoy people. I think I like the attention I get from people or maybe I’m just saying this so it hurts less when they leave. Anyway I dyed my hair red and my bird likes it :) I’m really tired waiting for the Wi-Fi man.

[thelittleyellowdaisy]

Comfort Of Rain

Pluviophile

(n) A lover of rain; Someone who finds joy and peace of mind on rainy days.

I’m a Pluviophile.

Listen carefully. Can you hear the beat of the rain falling? Beauty abounds in life. So take notice of it. Take in the smell of rain and feel the breeze. Something about the rain makes me feel safe and protected. Rain, like a blanket, always seemed to me to be healing.

I love the feeling I get when the rain hits my pale skin and sends shivers down my spine, and for a brief minute,I forget what it's like to be sad. It's like a relief, and it's my heroin. I aspire to be like the flowers, which sway back and forth with the wind and rain. That's what I imagine freedom feels like. 

How can something so simple be so lovely? 

Consider this if you loathe rain. Rain makes life possible. Water is essential for our survival. Water is required for the proper functioning of every cell, tissue, and organ, and we would not be able to function without it. When you're looking out the window at another stormy day, consider how important it is to your own health and most importantly, enjoy it!

Signing off, Daisy.

[pills-boy]

none of you probably care, or wondered, but this is what my art looks like now. recently i’ve had suicidal thoughts more often and listening to my playlist isn’t helping. maybe since its full of sad songs. oh, god, ads. tell me if anyone here wants me to post more art, itd help, because otherwise, i wont

[kodenamekat]

Christmas “gifts”

Dear OLD (online diary)

so i spend my christmas with my very loving and caring family. and i am so thankful to have them so close to me. we had a great time my LO opened gifts and smiled all day. we ate we drank we had a good time. now this morning. i get a message from someone i had known in the past for a very long time saying he wanted to send me a christmas gift. i told him it wasnt needed and i think him for the offer well. shortly after i get a message from cash app saying he had sent me 1000 dollars. do i have a sugga daddy now?