The Lorax Musical Rewrite: Act 1, Scene 1
Look, just assume that for this first scene, everyone is singing unless indicated otherwise. Also, listen to “Thneedville (Demo)” before reading, so you can know what they are actually singing. Btw, I didn’t write the song, I just planned out the stage directions and other details not related to lyrics.
(Lights slowly go up on an empty stage as the beginning of “Thneedville (Demo)” starts playing. On stage are the buildings and streets of Thneedville, or at least the basics. All the buildings are broken and crumbled, and everything is a slightly bleak color)
(As the ensemble begins to sing, they gradually enter the stage, acting out daily life. All are dressed in far too many clothes, and some are holding shopping bags filled to the brim with random objects)
(Ensemble pauses what they are doing before turning their heads towards the audience)
Here in Get-More-Than-We-Need-Ville
(All go back to what they were doing)
Where the buildings are broke
(Where the buildings are broke)
And the streetlights drop
(Standing front center stage) I just went swimming, and now I glow! (Runs offstage)
(All put their hands on over their hearts and face towards audience) Just one place has stayed the same
The hill that bares our founder’s name
Soon to become a pizza chain!
(Everyone goes back to what they were doing before Mr. O’Hare enters from upstage right and walks grandly over to upstage center, followed by a bodyguard. All turn to Mr. O’Hare)
(Cheerfully) Oh look it’s Aloysius O’Hare (Aloysius O’Hare)
And became a zillionaire!
(All lights on stage go off except for a spotlight on O’Hare, who has walked to center stage)
(To audience, as though telling a secret) Everyone round here works for me
I sell them something they should get for free
We’ll live in perfect harmony!
(All stage lights come back up and all surround O’Hare)
Hip hooray!
Hip hooray!
Hip hip hooray!
(All stage lights begin to go dark with the cast exiting the stage as a spotlight lands far downstage left, and Ted comes onstage to stand under the spotlight. Ted addresses audience for the rest of the song)
All I ever wanted is a whose-it
Like Jared and Julie and Jim
And even Ronald Shnook has one
And nobody’s lamer than him
(Lovingly) And I would play with it all day (Play with all day)
And never ever lose it (Never lose it)
Cause all I’ve ever wanted is a whose-it
(Runs to downstage center, spotlight following him)
For the time that I wanted a scooter
A cell phone, a trombone, a laptop computer
A sports car, an SUV, robot that looks like me
A broadsword, a surfboard, a gas powered sled
Little pet monkey that danced on my head!
This is totally different!
Cause all I’ve ever wanted in my life
(Stage lights come back up as the ensemble re enters stage and dance their instructed choreography. Ted doesn’t join them, instead staying in place as he looks straight at the audience or slightly upwards, depending on director’s instructions)
In Thneedville, it’s a brand new day!
All I ever wanted is the stuff that I don’t have!
Here in Get-More-Than-We-Need-Ville!
All I ever wanted is the stuff that I don’t have!
Got the stuff that you own
Where is the stuff that I
Here in Spend-Until-You-Bleed-Ville!
Growing-Like-A-Weed-Ville!
Please-Don’t-Mention-Greed-Ville!