Discover Top Posts Tagged with #orchimaru

Something that’s beginning to annoy me more and more about Naruto is why the fuck is Orchimaru’s tongue like that? Like he can use it to grab shit and it’s really long? And you might be saying “he’s a snaky guy he’s got snake eyes why isn’t that annoying you?”

BUT ITS NOT A SNAKE THING ITS A FUCKING LIZARD THING HIS TOUNGE ISNT EVEN FORKED YKNOW LIKE A SNAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS HE ABLE TO DO THIS. HES THE SNAKE SANNIN NOT THE FUCKING REPTILE SANNIN.

#naruto #orchimaru #why the fuck is he built like that?#actually hes so cunty wtf am I saying #but still get your reptiles straight sir #he probably doesn’t even do proper research before buying a snake

Orchimaru: I know your weakness, Anko-Chan~

Anko: How do you know my weakness are blonde, dumb and f*ckable stud!?

Orchimaru:

#naruto #naruto shitpost #anko mitarashi #orchimaru

omg now i need drunk akatsuki hcs-- i- 👁👄👁

oh I love these:

•Hidan: Straight vodka type of guy. Given that he is immortal, it takes a lot of alcohol to get him drunk; his liver is indestructible and nobody wants to challenge him to shots. Somehow (like it's even possible) he gets even more obnoxious and spews very creative insults. On the few times that he is truly intoxicated, Hidan’s been known to wreck some serious Ame property damages.

•Kakuzu: Oh, boy. Kuzu rarely drinks, probably because he is far more responsible compared to the others. Or because he can get shit-faced like a group of teenage barhoppers on a Tuesday night. He’s a messy drunk--the sobbing, the threats, the mood swings, the secret-spilling. I write a lot of plastered-Kakuzu...he’s doomed the minute he takes one too many.

•Sasori: Just your typical wino on the block; even though his core is the only organic piece of him, there’s gotta be a brain-type system and he gets tipsy very fast. Usually, he’s grouchy and spits scathing insults. But, on the few times he’s really peaked, Sasori is the guy at the party whose crashed on random sofa and is passed tf out. He’s tired, leave alone.

•Deidara: This stems from an ironic hc I see pop up, where the Akatsuki genuinely forbid Dei from drinking since he’s underaged. It’s hilarious and thus leads Deidara to find a different solution: cocaine. Yep, pure cocaine. It explains a lot about him.

•Kisame: Kisame is a responsible man, he really is! He drinks, yes, but is much better at regulating himself compared to the rest of the organization. He’ll take a few shots or have a drink or two and call it a day. Typically, Kisame ends up covering the other members’ antics. He doesn’t mind it because he when he does have the chance to let loose he’s one helluva time.

•Itachi: Super emotional drunk vibes with this guy. It’s a popular hc, but I find that it fits nicely. Itachi hides so much from the world and relies so severely on himself that he really only reflects and lamments on his secret sorrows when miserably wasted. Kisame does a great job of looking out for him when his partner is hammered and will listen as patiently as possible until Itachi feels better.

•Konan: Responsible, typically. Will go wine tasting with Sasori but can take a shot with Kisame or Hidan anytime. I put Konan into the role of an elder sister (not a caretaker, mind you) figure for the others, so she tends to be the last person who you want to find you tearing it up in an Ame pub. However, she can be a bit of an emotional drinker as well; she’s got her own sorrows, too.

•Nagato: Drinking is probably a little dangerous for him, but he’ll use the Pein Tendo to join the others when they go out. He cherishes any social activities he can scrounge up, so he’ll put up with the pain any alcohol may bring. He probably drank very seldom when he wasn’t Pein; Jiraiya maybe let him and Yahiko and Ko taste some stuff when he’d come to visit.

•Obito: Heavy drinker, emotional drinker. Dude’s been through a lot and I’m surprised he never slipped when keeping his cover. He’s not quite like Kakuzu and Itachi and their babbling when he gets drunk, but Obito will weave back and forth through his voice octaves. He most likely is a little like Hidan in stamina and will take on a drinking challenge quite smoothly, but he also knows how to reign it in.

•Zetsu: He ain’t drinking at all. Zetsu would eat dirt than drink booze, so he’s typically left in the role of the supervisor at parties. When I write him, he’s sippin on some organic/eco-friendly drink and can get a little sassy when provoked. He also has a more solid sense of humor when buzzed.

•Orochimaru: They’ve been kicked out of Akatsuki parties tons of times due to how riled up they make the others. The snake drinks to gossip and views any as a chance to belittle someone. He thinks contest are trivial, usually. But, when in the mood to prove somebody wrong, they will absolutely throw down and win. Kabuto isn’t entirely on board, but Orochimaru insists they have fun in between experiments. Also, Orochimaru likes to piss Sasori off when the puppet-man is plastered.

•Team Taka: God. Hide the alcohol. Seriously, they are a mess of a party. Jugo fears it, Suigetsu adores it, and Karin drinks just enough to make sure she isn’t held accountable for either of them. Sasuke stays somber a lot, but he’s an emotional drinker...just like his older bro.

Thanks for the Ask; I’m always happy to more!