#org writing

[tristitia-maestitia]

Last Note

He had an hour to come home so she checked, double, triple, couldn’t let anything go wrong. Tears in her eyes, but steady hand she left a note - couldn’t let him worry. Three years, six days, one hour, culminated into these moments. Couldn’t let anything slip couldn’t let anything seem less than perfect so she checked, double, triple.

Three years, six days, two hours, culminating to this, the keys fell from his hands, his footsteps  echoed down the hallway. He entered the room, shaking hands but dry eyes, he took it in. Faintly wondered if this was all there is. The faint scent  of her perfume lingered, and he knew he still had time.

Running, she stopped to catch her breath, looked back and, for a moment, all was still.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Life, Metaphorically

If life's a story, and you write your own, I should never write 'cause as the pages run on by, I find I can't remember the previous page. This false amnesia will be the end of me, 'cause in the Game of Life, I can never remember the rules. And I try to make my own melody to sing my life to, but I find myself humming bitterly familiar tunes. If I'm my own person, shouldn't I be able to build a life that's my own?

[tristitia-maestitia]

Verselet #11

3 days was all it took. 3 days with no connection to her own self. On the fourth day, she gave in.

I know that occasionally, we all want to know what the future holds. I also know that it’s better to remain oblivious.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Past Times, Passed Memories

I’ll never forget you, but I won’t remember this tomorrow. A walking contradiction, even though I can barely stand sometimes I think I could be better and then my feet hit the ground. Have I changed at all? The past seems so far away it could be another life; ephemeral, half-remembered things I’m not sure ever existed. This all seems so familiar I think I’ve been here before. I recognize you, stranger, even though we’ve never met. Your face, your aura make up an almost tangible memory floating at the edge of my mind. I’m sure we’ve been here before. I fear this  déjà vu will drive me mad. Wispy ghosts flicker in the corner of my vision. Wistful, I try to catch them, but they slip away as easily as yesterday I would’ve died for this but I don’t think it matters anymore. There’s no point in making your way through the unknown again and again have I been here before? I don’t remember. I don’t remember.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Last Dawn

'There's a difference,' he pauses, restarts. 'There's a difference between leaving and not staying.' 'But staying is better.' There is no question here, in her stained glass eyes, and his nod is sole courtesy. 'Then,' and his heart quivers with her voice 'Then show me the difference.' She looks unflinchingly into his flinty eyes and he sees the full extent of her brevity. So he who would've brought down the sun and moon if she asked it of him, anything to make her understand, ever so slowly, ever so patiently taught her the difference And she, his equal in more ways than one taught him the difference between love and base desire until the sun brought their parting.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Shameful Perseverance

Even if you're miles behind everyone, as long as you're still determined such a thing can't be called 'not trying', right? And pushing yourself on even your worst days, even if you end up hating yourself, such a thing can't be called 'weakness', right? Throwing yourself against a wall, no matter how many times you shatter, such a thing can't be called 'giving up', right? And falling down again and again, getting up and keeping moving each time, such a thing can't be called 'shameful', right? So why is it that I still find myself the way I am? 'Isn't it just you that feels that way about yourself?' you asked. My noncommittal reply should have told you all you needed to know.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Halfway to Halfway Normal

Ice cream and silly dreams, rooftops and pit stops We promised to never change, so why'd it ever end? But, hey, I guess we all grew uo and here we are, halfway to halfway normal. Got through 'the best' and 'the worst' life had to offer, went through the 'phases'; learnt some, lost some. Spread our wings, learned to fly and here we are, halfway to halfway normal. Wished on shooting stars, squandered them all worked for what we wanted, reached our dreams the hard way. Learnt what was truly important and to smile anyway and here we are, halfway to halfway normal. Laughed with friends, made plans for the future said our goodbyes and moved on. Made new friends, learnt to live in the moment and here we are, halfway to halfway normal.

[tristitia-maestitia]

Humanity (Poem Version)

Hold me close, let me go I can’t make up my mind. I’m tearing me apart for something I can’t find.

Run away, fast as you can before I tear you apart, too. As it is, I can’t control the monster I’ve turned into.

I can’t feel anymore, my emotions are all gone. An empty shell without a soul, that’s what I’ve become.

Plunge me into oblivion, into eternal sleep. Drown it out till I can’t think, sleep or breathe.

The way I think, my inner mind, has shattered into dust. Look inside, and you’ll find a creature you can’t trust.

I’ve broken into pieces, and a piece will always be lost. I am the one who freezes while the world turns with no cost.