“Uh, Grunkle Stan… there’s a situation,” Dipper says while tugging at said man’s suit.
“What is it?” The man demands.
“You gotta see for yourself,” Dipper insists.
Stan sighs and follows his nephew, only pausing when he hears a baby crying. He immediately picks up the pace to walk past his nephew and he stops short when he sees Mabel holding a baby in a giant staff shirt.
“Mabel,” Stan sighs. “Give the baby back to it’s mother.”
Stan rubs his temples and walks forward. “Give ‘im here.”
Mabel hands over the baby with no hesitation and he stops crying immediately and stares up at Stanley. After a moment he giggles and reaches out and smushes his cheeks together.
Meanwhile Stan is examining the kid- he had to be sure that this was Soos. He’d not only seen plenty of baby pictures and knew the kid since he was twelve, but this had happened before.
Damn it, Soos
There was no mistaking it. This was Soos.
I told you to stay away from those flowers, Stan thought with a groan and carried the boy on his hip to the kitchen.
“Um… Grunkle Stan?” Mabel calls, following after him. “What’re you doing?”
“Feeding him. Mind going to get some diapers from the gift shop and wet wipes from the bathroom?” Stan grunts.
“On it!” Mabel shouts while heading toward the gift shop.
Meanwhile Dipper wordlessly makes his way toward the bathroom upstairs.
Stan playfully nips at Soos’ fingers when he tries to tug on his lip.
Soos giggles and snatches his hand away from Stan’s mouth and tries again.
In his quest for apple cause Stan decides to indulge the… he’d have to say eight month old Soos’ and puts his lips over his teeth and fake bites his fingers with a playful growl and shakes his head like he’s an animal trying to tear it off.
Soos squeals with laughter and snatches his hand away with a large grin.
Stan hates how adorable Soos is as a child. He could front all he wants: he’s a sucker for babies.
“Dadda!” Soos says with a smile.
Something in Stan’s chest tightens- probably his heart; it felt like his heart- and tears come to his eyes.
It always went without saying they had a father-son bond- even with Soos having been turned into a baby one other time- and this was the first time it’d ever been said aloud by both either party.
Stan hugs the boy to his chest so he won’t see any tears and takes a deep breath to calm himself.
Don’t get emotional… just fine the stupid applesauce.
Once the kids get back, he puts Soos in a diaper and then begins feeding him.
“C’mon, kid. It’s an airplane. You love airplanes,” Stan insists.
“Wow, Grunkle Stan, I didn’t know you knew how to take care of babies,” Mabel says.
Stan doesn’t look up from trying to get Soos to eat the applesauce. “Dealt with this before.”
He decides not to think of his own daughter- too much heartache with that.
“You mean he’s turned into a baby before?” Dipper asks.
“Yep. Don’t remember how I got him back to normal, though… took a few days to wear off.”
“Baby Soos is so cute,” Mabel says while ticking the baby.
Soos giggles and reaches out to tug her hair, but Stan quickly gives him a finger instead and he teeths on it.
“Looks like he’s getting sleepy,” Dipper says when he notices how the baby’s eyes begin drooping.
Stan adjusts the baby so that he can bounce him as he walks. “You two take over the tours for me.”
Dipper shares a surprised look with Mabel. They were sure that he was gonna shove babysitting duty onto them.
“Uh… sure thing,” Dipper says.
“Thanks,” he grunts and then makes his way to the living room.
He hears the kids go to take over and he sighs with a smile- he’s glad he can count on them.
“What’s that smell?” Stan asks and then sniffs Soos and immediately holds the baby away from himself. “Whoo! You need a change and a bath!”
Stan goes to the bathroom and cleans him up before getting the tub filled a couple of inches with warm water. It’s been a long time since he’s given babies a bath- seriously the earliest was the twins about twelve years ago- so this was gonna be going by pure memory.
He gets the most baby friendly body soap- Dipper’s- and grabs a washcloth, always keeping one hand on Soos’ back to keep him from falling over. With the skill that comes from years of practice he uses one hand to get the soap on the washcloth and sets it back in place.
“Okay, ya li’l gremblin, let’s get clean,” Stan says while Soos plays with the bubbles.
Damn, that’s cute.
He sings under his breath as he washes the baby and smiles when he giggles and plays with the bubbles or his fingers. He hates how attached to the kid he’s obviously become, but how could he resist? Soos had become the son he never had.
He was so focused on cleaning the boy that he hadn’t heard the quiet click of a camera.
“Doodeleedoo dooo, dryin’ off a baby,” Stan sung.
Once he was dried and diapered he made his way to the living room.
“Alright, now time for you to go to sleep,” Stan says while getting in his chair and reclining so that the boy can rest comfortably on his chest.
Soos yawns and rests his cheek on Stan’s chest and his tiny fingers clutch his shirt.
Stan smiles down at the boy and puts his hand under his head as a cushion and dozes off a bit.
He doesn’t hear the click of a camera thirty minutes later nor the giggle that accompanies it.
When he wakes up Soos is about to roll off his chest and he sighs quietly. Looks like this ain’t gonna work.
With a grunt he gets up and makes his way up to his room. He keeps his hand on Soos’ back and walks as smoothly as he can. He puts Soos on the bed and puts his pillows on either side. When he’s sure the boy won’t roll he goes and grabs every blanket and pillow he can spare.
Once the floor on all sides of the bed are covered with padding and each side of the bed is bordered with pillows he climbs into the bed beside Soos and yawns. He’s quick to fall asleep.
Baby Soos scoots over and cuddles into Stan’s side with a quiet, happy sigh.
Early the next morning Mabel takes a picture of Stan and baby Soos cuddling and grins broadly.
They’re so cute!~
Soos squirms and cries eventually- long after Mabel’s gone to put the photo in her scrapbook.
Stan takes up with a groan and picks up the baby and holds him over himself so he can look at him. “Hungry?”
When Soos doesn’t stop crying he takes this as a yes and gets out of bed with a groan. He gets some bananas and mashes them up before feeding Soos and- thankfully- this calms him down.
Unfortunately that only lasts for five seconds.
Stan walks around bouncing the child in his arms. “C’mon, kid, it’s okay… whaddoyawant from me? A kiss on the cheek?”
Oh, yeah, Stan thinks. It had been a kiss on the cheek that turned him back (not immediately, but a minute or so later).
“Alright, kid, you win,” Stan says and kisses his cheek before giving him a zerbert that left Soos squealing happily.
Again he missed the click of a camera.
He goes to the room and laid out the clothes for Soos. Once Soos showed signs that he was going to grow Stan set him in the middle of the bed and walked out (it was pretty hard when Soos started crying, but he refused to see the man-child naked again).
When the crying suddenly stops he’s worried. What if he was wrong and Soos fell onto the ground and broke his neck?
It’s only when he hears the mattress shift at a great weight getting up that he relaxes.
“Mr. Pines? What happened?” Soos asks when he walks out fully clothed and rubbing his head.
“You were tired so I let you crash here,” Stan lies.
“LIES!” Mabel shouts with a scrapbook under her arm.
“You were actually turned into a baby,” Dipper answers.
Stan’s eyes widen with realization.
“And I have proof,” Mabel says with a devilish gleam in her eyes as she opens the scrapbook.
“Mabel, that’s a picture of beard hair,” Dipper says.
“Oh, sorry,” she mutters and then opens it to a page full of Stan having cute moments with baby Soos.
“Awww, Mr. Pines you do care!” Soos says while hugging the man.
“Get offa me,” Stan grunted while looking away from him.
“Don’t deny the love!”
Stan rolls his eyes and pats the man-child’s back and then clears his throat. “There… now get back to work. You owe me for the stuff I used for you as a baby.”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Pines,” Soos says merrily with a huge grin.
Alex sobbed for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was much shorter, then spoke.
“Dad… dad… dad… It feels… so good to say that… when you’re actually here… next to me… dad.”
More crying.
“I missed you so… so much, dad. I don’t remember much. I remember… when I was like three an’ you had that sea monster mask from th- th’ Wacky Shack an’ you wouldn’t stop wearin’ it ‘round the house.”
Weak laughter.
“I remember how you smell. Like ointment. It’s th’– the same ointmen’. I haven’t smelled that ointment in a while.”
“I- I– I kept a picture Ma took. I keep it everywhere. It’s– it’s you, and me.” He attempts to get out his wallet from his pocket, but he keeps fumbling. He stops trying after a while, and just leans into his father’s chest. “I used to talk to it all the time, an’ I pretended it was really you. But now you’re here. You’re really here, Pa.”
I am a kicker for parent-child relationships; familial relationships in general.
Author Stan would be a terrible dad. I don’t think he ever wanted a kid or considered marriage, so that’s why there wouldn’t be a marriage.
The kid was a fling result. A one-night stand. Definitely a one-night stand.
He’d be the opposite of Stanley who might’ve married his wife (Carla) because she got pregnant...young. They were young parents, and plus, he loved her. Author Stan wouldn’t have done it; I also feel he’d be the kind of parent to give money but not actually be involved in the child’s life.
But in an alternate universe where he is involved, he’d be the most resisting child every. Gravity-What made some darn good points about that. He wouldn’t want to love any child he sired, but eventually he’d find himself and caring a lot.
The child could get lost, or in some case threatened by a paranormal entity and A. Stan would calmly lose his shit. He’d be tranquil fury incarnate trying to save his child, and he’d succeed. Then he’d scold them in his way until the child starts to tear up, and he’d reluctantly comfort the child, which works.
I love Papa Stan be it Stanley or Stanford, or both, I don’t care. Papa Stan gives me life. I’m sorry.
