I mean, for one thing: I have my concerns about this "rating system" thing. Yes, I know you need "thick skin" and all to enter the creative field, but there's the fear that the system could be abused: imagine having your work getting shoved to the side and ignored, when the system is told by multiple trolls and all that your work needs to be hidden away in favor of the "better" content? I mean, isn't "review bombing" considered an actual problem, in regards to hate-mobs?
If memory serves right, Newgrounds has things like a "score" sorting option, so it could be possible for an artist to potentially get screwed over that way. I suppose if they had an option to turn it off, then I'd be more interested. I mean, tell me to my face why exactly my stuff sucks, so I can, y'know, make it not so sucky...? Or, if you generally want me to actually take what you have to say seriously.
So, what's the consensus: Newgrounds is "yay" or "nay"?
Fox Mulder, new in town, meets Dana Scully- a waitress at the diner he visits every day. Immediately intrigued by her, he becomes even more
Chapter Twenty
A birthday trip away, a conversation, and plans for the future.
February
“Is it cold there, Mommy?” Ivy asked and Fox laughed as he looked out at the beach in front of them, his coat collar popped up against the wind.
“Yes, my love,” Dana said, laughing softly as she held the phone for Ivy to see the water. “It’s very cold here.”
“Did you go in the water?”
“No, it’s far too cold for anything like that,” she said, laughing again. “We’re just taking a walk and I wanted you to see the beach. There are so many rocks and shells too. Maybe we could come back in the summer when it’s warmer.”
“Definitely,” Fox said, nodding his head and pushing his hands further into his pockets. “It’s nice now since so many people aren’t here, but when it’s warmer it will be much better for all of us to come back.”
“Okay. And we could make sandcastles!” Ivy said, smiling happily.
“Absolutely,” he agreed with a shiver, causing Dana to laugh.
“Okay, Ives, I gotta get my gloves back on so I’m gonna put the phone away for now. We’ll call you before bed, okay? To tell you goodnight.”
“Okay, Mommy. I love you. Bye, Fox. Love you too.”
“Bye, Ivers Ivers Bo Bivers. Have a good day. Love you too.”
“Bye, honey. Call you later.”
“Byeeeee,” Ivy said and then hung up the call.
“Fucking hell,” Dana mumbled and he laughed. She did not swear often, but when she did, it always amused him. “Whose brilliant idea was it to come out in this weather? Especially when we have a perfectly nice little bungalow with a fireplace and fully stocked fridge?” She stared at him as she put her phone back into her pocket and he laughed again.
“That would be me,” he said, looping his arm through hers and pulling her closer as she hummed and put her hands in her pockets.
“You’re lucky I love you and that you’re so good looking. Or my answer to walking on the beach in this weather would have been a helllllll no.”
“Hey,” he said with a chuckle as they began to walk through the sand, closer to the shoreline. “When you have a birthday in February, and your amazing boyfriend wants to take you somewhere special, you tough out the weather.”
“And your amazing boyfriend finishes his next amazing novel,” she added, smiling up at him. “I’m so proud of you for getting it done. I think it’s your best yet.”
“You’re biased,” he said, moving his arm and wrapping it around her shoulders. Her arms went around his waist and she laughed.
“Maybe a bit, for a few reasons. But I really think it’s the best one. It’s so wonderful.”
“Hard not to be better when I have such perfect inspiration,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “Love stories are much easier to write when you’re in the middle of one yourself.”
“Better than fiction?” she teased and he laughed, wrapping his other arm around her and squeezing gently.
“Much better,” he said, shaking his head as he looked out at the water.
“Yes, let’s just stand here for a minute,” she said, burrowing closer to him. “Warm me up.”
“There will be time for that later,” he laughed. “Come on, there’s something I want to show you.”
“Mmmm,” she groaned and he laughed again as he pulled back and took her hand. She pouted and he kissed her quickly.
“You start moving and you won’t notice the cold.”
“That’s a crock of shit,” she argued, but allowed herself to be led further down the beach.
They stopped occasionally to pick up rocks or shells that caught their eyes. Slipping them into their pockets after exclaiming over them, they continued walking, her arm linked through his.
“I came to this beach when I was younger,” he said and she nodded. “I know you know, but there is something I want to show you. It’s down a bit from here, but I promise it will be worth it.”
“It better be,” she said, bumping his arm and smiling to let him know she was teasing him. He smiled and nodded, knowing she would love it.
They walked around a curve of the beach and she gasped, halting in her steps.
“Oh… it’s… wow,” she said, letting go of his arm and walking towards the sea cave in front of them. He smiled as he walked to catch up to her, watching her face as he did.
She took off her gloves and touched the walls, looking up at the top of the cave, the wind blowing through and whipping her hair into her face.
“It’s… it’s so beautiful.”
“Yeah. It is,” he said, smiling at her and then looking around. “Samantha and I used to play here- games that we made up or we collected rocks and sea glass. This little cave seems to be where sea glass washes up and stays. Look.” They both looked down and pieces of multicolored sea glass lay sprinkled in the rocks at their feet.
“Whoa. It’s so many. Oh, look at the blue ones,” she said, bending down to pick up a particularly large piece. “Look at that.” She held it up and he nodded.
“It’s beautiful.”
“This cave is amazing. Well, I’d say it’s more like a tunnel? Seeing as it’s not closed off, but you can walk through it? A sea tunnel seems a more appropriate name for it.”
“Hmm. Yeah. It does,” he said, looking around with a nod. “So was it worth it?”
“Yes,” she said with a low chuckle. “It’s beautiful.” She stood up and stepped closer to him, tilting her head back for a kiss. He smiled and bent his head, kissing her softly.
“I was thinking we should bring some sea glass back to Ivy. We could put it in a jar or make something with it. Then she could get some more when we come back in the summer. It could become a thing we do,” he said with a shrug and she smiled, placing a hand on his chest as she nodded.
“I love that idea. And I love you.”
“Same,” he said, kissing her again.
She turned around and started looking for sea glass as he took a deep breath and let it out.
“There is another reason I wanted to bring you here, to this… sea tunnel,” he said, chuckling softly.
“Yeah?” she asked, her eyes still on the rocks, bending to pick up some sea glass, smiling as she looked at it.
“Mmhmm,” he said, closing his eyes briefly as he listened to the water crashing on the shore, the tide low at the moment and leaving the cave untouched. “It’s a place that’s special to me. And to Tom and Aggie.”
“What?” she said, raising her head and looking at him. “Tom and Aggie? From your novel?”
“Your favorite one, if I’m not mistaken,” he teased and she frowned at him before her eyes widened and she stood quickly to her feet, sliding a little on the rocks.
“Oh my god…” she said, looking around and then sticking out her bottom lip as she inhaled through her nose. “This is the sea cave from the book?”
“It is. I gave it a different name, but this is the place.” He smiled as he looked lovingly at the cave. “It was special to me, so it became special to them. I could describe it easily, seeing as I’d spent a lot of my life here.”
“Fox,” she said quietly and he smiled, knowing she had not quite figured it all out yet.
“I picked this place because I had happy memories here and after all they went through, they deserved that too.”
“They did,” she said, turning around and touching the walls of the cave again.
Knowing this was his chance, he quickly knelt on one knee, not caring about the rocks, and took the black velvet box from his jacket pocket, his heart racing.
“Wait,” she said and he grinned, knowing she had just figured it out, remembering what had happened between Tom and Aggie when he had brought her to this cave. “But they-”
Turning back around, she gasped and covered her chest with both hands.
“What? What are you doing?” Stepping closer to him, she also knelt, shaking her head as she exhaled. “What are you doing, Fox?”
“Dana… I had come to the conclusion that I was meant to be alone in life. I firmly believed that I was fine with it. I had my fantasy lives I created and it was enough. But… it wasn’t and I didn’t know that until I met you.”
“Fox,” she whispered, shaking her head.
“You intrigued me instantly. Like a spark to a flame. It was fast, but I knew it was right. Then I met Ivy and…” He chuckled and shook his head. “I fell in love with you even more. And her… how could I not love her? She’s an amazing child. Full of love and happiness. You’ve made her who she is, so loving her was easy.”
“Fox,” she said again, tears gathering in her eyes.
“I know it might seem fast, but I know what I want. I want to spend my life with you. With both of you. I want to be in on the inside jokes, be a part of your traditions, be your person. I want to help Ivy with her homework and take her places on the weekends. I want to watch movies and eat popcorn with the two of you. I want to be there for everything,” he said, swallowing hard and then opening the ring box. Exhaling, he looked her in the eyes and smiled. “Dana Katherine Scully, will you marry me?”
She laughed and shook her head. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back and laughed louder. Sniffling, she looked back at him, with tears on her face.
Placing her hands on his cheeks, she leaned forward and kissed him. Her fingers were cold, but he did not care. He held onto her waist and kissed her back, his heart still racing.
“Yes,” she whispered, kissing him again. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” She punctuated each answer with a kiss and he laughed as he brought her as close as the rocky ground allowed.
Pulling back, she stared at him, her hands still on his face. Shaking her head, she looked around the sea cave and let out a deep breath.
“He brought her to the place that had meant the most to him. To ask her if she wanted to be with him forever,” she recited his book softly and he grinned. “The waves crashed outside the small cave as he knelt before her and took her hand. She knew what he would say before he said it and at her small nod, his heartbeat quickened, his life forever changed.”
She looked at him again and he reached for her hand as the waves crashed outside. Nodding once, she smiled at him and he indeed did feel his heartbeat quicken, his life forever changed for the better.
______________
Early March
“I can make anything I want?” Ivy asked Fox as they stood in Make It Yours, a ceramic painting store.
“Anything at all. Two, if you’d like,” he told her and she nodded as she looked around. “But, I did have a thought. Maybe you could paint something for mommy for Mother’s Day and then paint something for yourself after.”
“Oh, yeah! A coffee cup? Mommy loves coffee.”
“She does,” he agreed with a smile and she nodded.
“Or a tea cup? She likes tea too. No, maybe this one instead,” she said, taking down a tall mug with a large handle. “This one is good?”
“I think it’s perfect. Now, what will you choose for yourself?”
“Hmm…” she said as he took the mug from her and she walked around looking at the items on the shelves. “Anything I want to have?”
“Yup. Anything at all.”
She took her time looking at everything. She picked up a unicorn and then exchanged it for a pegasus. The pegasus was set down and a penguin was picked up. She looked at it for a few seconds and then set it down with a sigh. Staring down, he heard her sniffle and then let out another deep breath.
“Ivy?”
“I don’t know what to pick,” she said, covering her face and crying.
“Hey, hey,” he said, squatting down beside her and rubbing her back. She turned and flung her arms around him, crying into his neck.
Lifting her up, he set the mug onto a table and carried her outside. Leaning against a wall, he slid down until he was sitting on the ground and she was on his lap. He rubbed her back and waited until she had calmed down before saying anything.
“Are there two things that you really want to paint?” he asked quietly and she nodded. “Two plus the one for mommy?” She nodded again and he smiled. This kind of sadness was an easy fix and fix it he would. “Okay. Then you can get the two you want, plus the one for your mommy, but we just need to paint hers first, okay?”
“I… I can get two for me?” she asked in a small voice.
“Sure you can,” he said, hugging her tightly.
She pulled back and looked at him, wiping stray pieces of hair from her wet face. He smiled and she sniffled before she lay her head on his shoulder and played with the buttons on his shirt.
“Thank you. I’m sorry I cried.”
“Hey, you don’t need to apologize. You were unsure and confused. Sometimes it makes us act differently than we normally would.”
“Yeah,” she whispered and he smiled softly.
“Next time just tell me. Or better yet, maybe we could have a signal for when you’re feeling overwhelmed and you don’t know what to say. You could squeeze my hand twice and I’ll know that it means you need a minute to process things, to think about them.”
“Like this?” she asked and squeezed his hand twice.
“Just like that,” he said, squeezing back. “When you do that, I’ll know we need to talk or that you need a minute to think about things and then talk to me.”
“Okay,” she said, squeezing his hand once.
“Are you ready to go inside now?” She squeezed his hand twice and he smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Okay. A couple more minutes then.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were standing in front of the paint selections, ready to fill up their trays.
“Hello! Have you been here before?” asked a smiling, curly haired woman who was wearing an apron covered in numerous paint stains.
“No, we haven’t,” Fox said and Ivy shook her head.
“First timers? Those are my favorite! Okay, let me tell you about the paints. Lighter colors need a few coats to show up well once they’re fired up. Darker colors will show up better, if you want to avoid doing too many coats, but it’s up to you entirely. If you make a mistake, we can wipe things off and start over, so don’t worry about it being perfect the first try. Plus…” she said, glancing at Fox and then smiling at Ivy. “… art is meant to be experienced and expressed. If it isn’t perfect, that’s what makes it better. It shows the time and dedication put into it more than the actual outcome. So, have fun and let me know if you need anything.” She smiled at Fox and he gave her a nod of thanks as she walked away.
“You heard the lady, Ivy. How about we pick out a mix of dark and light colors and see how we feel about them?”
“Okay, Fox,” she said, nodding as she looked at the selections of colors.
Decisions made, they sat down and he helped her put on the provided smock before she climbed into the chair, sitting on her knees to reach things easier.
“Mommy likes lilac, but it’s a light color. That means I need to do a couple of coats, like the lady said, right?”
“Precisely,” he said, picking up a paintbrush to start his own painting of the plate he had picked out.
“Okay,” she said and he watched her select a brush, deciding on a larger one. “This one will paint it faster, right?”
“Yup. It sure will.”
“Good.”
They fell silent for a little while, her concentration solely on painting the mug, taking her time and fixing any little mistake she made. His own painting stopped as he observed her, shaking his head in disbelief that last year at this time, he had no idea who she was and now, he could not imagine his life without her in it.
“There!” she said, smiling at him. “I have the first layer of it done. How does it look?”
“It looks fantastic. I think your mommy will love it.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling as she looked at the mug. “How long do I have to wait to paint the next coat?”
“Why don’t you go ask the lady there?” he asked, nodding toward the woman who had spoken to them.
“Okay,” Ivy said, getting down and walking to the woman.
He smiled as he watched her, listening intently to the woman, and thanking her as she walked back to their table.
“She said I can start right away because it dries pretty fast. Oh! Yeah, it’s almost dry. That was fast.”
He smiled and set his paintbrush down, suddenly very nervous with the question he was going to ask her. A question he had asked Dana if he could ask her on his own, not wanting Ivy’s decision to be based on anything but her own feelings.
“Ivy?” he asked and she hummed as she started to paint again. “Ivy, can I ask you something? Something important?”
“Okay,” she said.
“Could you set your paintbrush down for a minute?”
“But I need to paint this,” she said, looking up at him and frowning.
“I know,” he said with a smile. “It can wait a few minutes. I promise.”
“It can?”
“It can.”
“Okay,” she said, putting her paintbrush down.
“Thank you.” He let out a breath and then locked his fingers together and placed them on top of the table. “I wanted to bring you here to make something for mommy, but also to ask you a question.”
“What is it?” she asked, her eyes on her mug.
“You know that mommy and I are getting married.”
“And I’m going to be the flower girl,” she said, smiling at him and clapping her hands a couple of times.
“You will be, yes,” he said with a chuckle. “After we get married, things will be a little different. We are all going to live together and I… I will be your dad.”
“My… dad? My really dad?”
“Your really dad,” he said, his heart racing at the way she had phrased it.
“You will be… I can call you Daddy? I can do that?”
“Yes. I… I would like that very much,” he said quietly and they stared at one another for a few seconds.
“I would have a daddy like Saffy and Delilah? Like my friends at school? You will be my daddy for always?”
“For always,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion. “But I have to do something important in order to be your really daddy.”
“What?” she asked in a whisper.
“I have to adopt you. Do you know what that means?”
“Yes,” she said with a nod. “Alia in my class was adopted. Her daddies adopted her and they came to tell us about it when she was the star of the week.”
“What did they say?”
“They said they wanted to have a baby, but girls have babies and not two boys. So they went to ask for a baby and a lady said yes. She had a baby in her tummy and she said they could have it when it was not in her tummy. When Alia was a baby at the hospital, they took her home and now they are her daddies. Her family.”
“That’s exactly right,” he said. “But with us, it will be a little bit different. I didn’t know you when you were born or as a baby, but I know you now and I love you so very much. I want to be your daddy and be there for the rest of your life, not missing out on anything else. Would that be okay with you?”
“Yes. I would like you to be my daddy,” she said, her mouth turning down and her eyes filling with tears. “I want to be your family. Like Alia is with her daddies.”
“Come here,” he said and she hurried down from her chair and into his lap, her smock crinkling loudly between them.
She cried and he did the same, though quietly, his face pressed into her hair. Her arms squeezed him tightly and he held her close until they both had calmed down.
“I’m so happy to have your permission, Ivy,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “So happy you want to be my daughter.”
“Me too,” she said, sniffling as she squeezed him again, twice, and he laughed before he cried once more, squeezing her back twice as she laughed and cried with him.
_______________
Early March
“June seventh,” Dana said when she opened the door to her apartment.
“What?” Fox asked, walking inside with takeout bags of their dinner.
“June seventh.”
“Is that… what is that?” he asked, setting the bags on the table and looking at her in confusion.
“Our wedding date?” she asked with a sigh, her brow furrowed and bottom lip sticking out.
“What?”
“I called the venue on Eighteenth street to see what they had available later in the year, like October maybe, and the woman I spoke to told me there had just been a cancellation if I wanted to take it.”
“Did you take it?” he asked with an excited smile.
“Fox!” she cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation and she looked so adorable in her red fleece pajama pants and one of his old college hoodies that she had worn home one night, her long hair up in an extremely messy bun, he could not help but laugh. “I mean I did, but I think I should cancel.”
“Why?”
“Fox,” she said more quietly and he smiled as he walked closer to her. “We just got engaged. If we get married so soon after, people will probably think it’s because…” She made a motion over her stomach and it took him a moment to realize she meant because she might be pregnant.
“But, honey, you’re not pregnant.”
“People don’t know that,” she whined and he reached for her, pulling her close. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he closed his eyes, smiling as he laid his cheek against the top of her head.
“It felt so odd to agree to the date without speaking to you about it,” she said with a sigh, pressing closer to him. “She said it and I just blurted out, yes! I’ll call tomorrow and cancel.”
“Well, let’s not be hasty. Let's talk about it first.”
“What?” she asked, pulling back and looking up at him. He smiled and locked his fingers together behind her back.
“Let’s talk about it and see if June seventh isn’t the perfect date.”
“It’s so soon.”
“It’s three months away.”
“Okay,” he said and she sighed deeply, laying her head back on his chest and holding him tighter. “Is it too soon for you? Because if it’s-”
“No. It’s not that at all,” she assured him.
“Okay,” he said again, swaying them slightly as he smiled.
“I want to be married. To be with you and not have to leave and come back here. I mean, I love this apartment. I love how Ivy and I have made it our own, but… it doesn’t feel the same anymore.”
“I feel the same about my place when you’re not there. Of course, I’m not as attached to my place as you are to yours, which is understandable.”
“But neither is a place we can live together, not long term anyway,” she said and he smiled again.
“And I don’t want to move before we’re married, or at least very near it. I know it might seem odd or sound unnecessary considering we are going to get married, but I want it to be official before we all live under one roof.”
“Fox,” she said with a sigh, squeezing him even tighter.
“I want that stability and security for Ivy,” he said quietly. “I want her to understand the importance of our commitment to one another. To know that I’m sincere when it comes to us, the three of us.”
She whimpered and he kissed the top of her head as he swayed them, humming softly as he did.
“So,” he whispered. “Should we wait until October? Or keep that June date?”
“I just need some time to process it. So much needs to be done and I don’t want it to become something stressful and worrisome.”
“Understandable. How about we eat and then you give Melissa a call? You-”
“Mommy, is it time for dinner yet?” Ivy called from the bedroom. “I’m staaaaaarving.”
They both chuckled and as they pulled apart, he kissed her softly. She sighed and he smiled at her.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you too,” she said, but he could still see the worry on her face.
“Mommy?”
“How about I feed that starving girl and you call Melissa now? Ease your mind.”
“Okay. I think I… yeah.”
Another kiss and then he turned toward the bedroom, stomping loudly as Ivy called for Dana again.
“Is there a starving child in here?” he growled and Ivy screamed in surprise, scrambling around on her bed where she had been playing with her dolls. “Are you starving, little girl?”
He stomped into the room and she laughed as she rose up on her knees and scooted back against the wall.
“Don’t tickle me!” she shouted.
“Oh, what a great idea,” he growled and reached for her, but acted as if he could not do it.
She laughed and screamed, moving from side to side to get away from him. Stopping and smiling at her, he held onto the railing of the bed.
“You hungry?” he asked in his own voice and she stared, gauging him. “You want a piggyback ride to the table ?”
“You won’t tickle me?”
“Not if you don’t want me to,” he said, resting his chin on the railing.
“I don’t want you to… right now.”
“Okay. I promise I won’t. You want that piggyback ride?”
“Yes,” she said, still watching him warily.
“I promise, Ivy,” he said, crossing his heart.
“Okay,” she said, coming to the steps of the bunk bed where he met her and waited for her to climb onto his back.
He held onto her and hurried from the room, running past Dana and then around the living room three times, as Ivy laughed hysterically.
Setting her down, he caught his breath as he watched Dana disappear into the bedroom.
She had readied the food for them and after they had washed their hands, Fox and Ivy sat down to eat. Or Ivy did, as he decided to wait for Dana.
They were in the middle of a story they had been making up for a couple of days, about an anteater who found he no longer wanted to eat ants, when Dana came out of the bedroom and sat beside him.
“She wants to talk to you,” Dana said, handing him the phone, Melissa smiling on the screen.
“Oh, hello there. It’s always a pleasure to see you, Melissa.”
“And you as well, Fox,” she said with a smile. He nodded and raised his eyebrows as he waited for her to speak again. “How does June seventh sound for marrying my sister?”
“Melissa!” Dana admonished, shaking her head as he laughed.
“Sounds much better than October.”
“October?” Melissa snorted. “Christ no, that’s way too far away. June is perfect.”
“You don’t think people will think it’s too fast?” Dana asked, leaning closer and looking at the screen as Melissa shook her head.
“Who cares about them? If they do, then they can go fu… get about it,” she said, censoring her response as Ivy climbed onto Fox’s lap and smiled at her aunt.
“Hi, Auntie Missy!”
“Babes, how are you?”
“Good. Me and Fox are making up a story about an anteater. It’s funny but also kind of sad.”
“Oh, well that sounds interesting. Ivy, let me ask you a question. Do you think Fox and your mommy should get married in June or October?”
“Is June first? Before October?”
“It sure is.”
“Then I want them to be married in June. Then we will live together and me and Fox can make up stories all the time!”
They all laughed and Fox looked at Dana.
“That settles it then. Ivy has spoken.”
“And we’ll get it all handled, Dane,” Melissa said. “You’ve already got the venue and a date. The rest is relatively easy and Mom and I can help with whatever you need.”
Fox smiled at Dana and she nodded with a sigh. Hanging up soon after, they ate dinner as Ivy watched a movie.
“You don’t think Samantha will… that she’ll have any concerns, do you?” Dana asked, biting her lip.
Picking up his phone, he sent a message to Samantha and waited for her response, knowing full well what her answer would be.
When his phone buzzed less than a minute later, he handed it to Dana with a huge grin.
Why in the world would you choose October when June is available? Fox, marry that woman ASAP!
“Well,” Dana said, blinking back tears. “Okay then.”
The next morning at the diner, she handed him a mock invitation she had made with the date and time of the wedding. He grinned as he held it, pulling her to him and kissing her temple.
Let’s get hitched!
June 7th
Noon
“I’ll be there,” he whispered and she laughed softly.
“You better be.”
___________________
Mid March
“So just Samantha, Greg, and the twins?” Dana asked. “You must know more people than that.”
“You asked for family,” he said, smiling as he handed her her glass of wine. “That’s all I have. Blood relatives anyway.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, holding her glass as he sat beside her and took a sip from his own glass. “I… I feel like I should think about how I phrase things. I don’t want to cause you any sadness or-”
“You don’t,” he said, shaking his head as he leaned in to kiss her. “You bring me happiness.”
He smiled and she sighed, reaching up to stroke his face. He turned his head and kissed her palm before smiling again.
They were at his apartment, Ivy sleeping in the guest room with her new giant squishy stuffed panda tucked in beside her, as they made a list for the wedding invitations they would soon be sending out.
“So, who else do you want to add?” she asked, moving her hand and taking a drink of wine. Setting the glass onto the table, she picked up her pen.
“Hmm. Susan, my agent, Beth at the publishers, Mary… Oh. Greg’s parents, Nina and Dave. I think that’s all for me personally. Then everyone from the diner, of course, but those are shared invites. I’d also like to add the customers who were at the New Year’s party. Other than that… yeah, I think that’s about it.”
“Well, that keeps the guest list small.”
“Being quite antisocial?” he teased and she smiled as she wrote down the people he had named.
“You’re not antisocial, just choosy with the people you let into your life. That’s different.”
“I like that explanation better,” he said and she laughed before taking a drink and writing more names down. “I’m going to give Artie a call tomorrow.”
“Artie? Why?” she asked, frowning as she looked up at him.
“I want to speak to him about what to do about Ivy’s adoption. Who I would need to talk to, if it’s not him.”
“Fox,” she said softly, setting her pen down and turning toward him with a gentle smile.
“I know it will still take awhile and that we need to be married first, but I’d like to know what I need to do to get any paperwork going ahead of time. See what information I may need to provide, you know?” He glanced toward the guest room and smiled. “I just don’t want any hiccups.”
“I love you so much. Do you know that?”
He turned his head and looked at her with a smile.
“I do know that, yes.”
“Good.”
He leaned forward and kissed her, her hands on his face as the kiss deepened.
“Stop,” she said, pulling back and licking her lips, her breathing heavy. “You’re distracting me and I need to finish this list.” He chuckled and nodded as he leaned back and picked up his glass of wine.
“I hope it doesn’t take too long, the adoption I mean. You don’t think Jordan would do anything to hold it up, do you?”
“Jordan?”
“Yeah. We’d need his permission to go ahead with the adoption.”
“No, we don’t,” she said, shaking her head and raising her eyebrows.
“What? Why not?”
“Because he gave up all rights to anything related to Ivy years ago. Years. Artie saw to that after Jordan left, swearing under his breath how he had never liked him and what a complete douchebag he was for abandoning his child. He filed all the necessary paperwork and got us a hearing. Jordan wouldn’t even look at me when we were in the courtroom together and then he left so quickly when it was over, it was like he was on fire.”
“Oh.”
“I always liked Artie, he’s always been kind to me. But on that day, when we left the courthouse and went right to a nearby pub and he ordered me the biggest drink I’ve ever had in my life, toasting the loss of that piece of human shit, I loved him.” Fox stared at her, his eyes wide, as she looked at him with a sigh. “I didn’t make the best choice when it came to Jordan.”
“Dana…”
“But,” she said, smiling as she now glanced towards the guest room. “I got Ivy as a result of that failed relationship. And I’d go through it all again, if it meant that she was the outcome. All of it.”
She looked at him and he covered her hand with his, squeezing gently.
“So, you don’t need anything from him,” she said, shaking her head. “The only person to ask about anything concerning Ivy, is me. And Ivy. Both of which you’ve done and been given one hundred percent approval. A bajillion percent, Ivy said to me the other day.”
“Bajillion?” he asked, threading their fingers together.
“Yup,” she assured him, nodding as she smiled.
“Wow… that’s pretty good.”
“I’d say.”
They smiled at one another and then he nodded, squeezing her hand before letting go.
“I still want to call Artie, get the wheels in motion because… I’d like the paperwork to match.”
“What? What do you mean?” she asked with a confused look on her face.
“Our marriage license and the adoption paperwork, I want them to have the same date,” he said. “I know the official adoptive date will be different, but the start of it will be the same as our wedding date.”
“I… I’m sorry. I’m not following.”
“I want it on record that while it will be a different date when the adoption goes through, after any court dates we may need to have, that the date we all set out to become a family is the same. That I made a promise to both of you on the same day. Our anniversary date will be for all of us. Regardless of what any future paperwork may say, we will know.”
“Jesus,” she said, nearly jumping from her chair and into his lap. He laughed as he caught her, surprised by her actions, as her arms wrapped around his neck. “You just… God, I love you.”
“I love you too,” he replied, kissing her deeply, her body arching against him.
“I think it’s time for bed,” she whispered against his lips.
“But I’m not sleepy,” he teased, kissing her chin and then her throat as she angled her neck.
“Then I guess we’ll have to find something else to do once we get there. Take me to bed, Fox,” she breathed into his ear and he shivered.
Holding tightly to her, he stood up and carried her to the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind them.
Just to make it clear: take pills, or not take pills for your mental condition, if you are an adult, you can and should make decisions about your health. Just my experience, and it may or may not work for you: years ago I was clinically depressed. Therapy with a psychiatrist (I was EXTREMELY lucky to get the appointments) helped with understanding some of my reactions and decisions, but fuck, I was still depressed and barely able to function. PILLS, namely Paxil, lifted the depression in THREE WEEKS. Again, I was probably lucky. A relative was treated, hospitalized, on a suicide watch, nothing worked. Just before last resort electroshocks treatment they tried yet another drug combination. She’s fine for years, as am I.
Yes by all means do yoga, walk in the forest, meditate, etc. Yes Big Pharma evil, yes they sell DRUGS. Don’t discard drugs because Big Pharma evilness. MAYBE they can help you, make your life easier, even save your life.
Mental illness is AN ILLNESS. How people choose to treat it is THEIR DECISION. Apply the “don’t take pills” advice to yourself, and stop pressuring and guilting people who decided to take them; then I’ll stop harping about it.
Foods that lower your vibration are also responsible for most illness and health risks. Junk foods, gmo’s, pesticides, most fast foods, processed sugars, chemicals and so on, all weaken the immune system and disrupt your hormonal system. Transitioning to real food, is essential.
Sometimes your dreams and aspirations aren’t materializing because you’re holding onto people — who due to their own choices — can’t grow or go with you. Maybe it’s time to let go ...
What could my dream about floating down a river with a fish on fire mean?
What could my dream about floating down a river with a fish on fire mean?
I dreamt that I was floating down a river and was on fire but not being burned. An overriding voice told me that the energy to support the fire was coming from an underwater stockpile of fish which would be eternally replenished.
I have been considering retiring and devoting energy to a number of economic projects.
I think the dream is saying that I am changing (the fire) while floating down the…
