Jun 1, 2016
Unknown Number - phan-panda
Summary: Dan decides to have a little fun when he starts receiving dirty texts from an unknown number. It’s all fun and games, but he’ll never guess who he is actually texting.
seen from China
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Maldives
seen from Philippines
seen from Spain
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
Unknown Number - phan-panda
Summary: Dan decides to have a little fun when he starts receiving dirty texts from an unknown number. It’s all fun and games, but he’ll never guess who he is actually texting.
A Slow Descent: Chapter One
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is a secret usually best left untold. Phil Lester, however, has never been good at keeping secrets.
A/N: This is going to be a chaptered story. Chapter one is the first of (hopefully) many and is included below. I hope this is interesting as it is not an AU and focuses on potentially realistic events. This story is written from Phil's POV.
Chapter One: Prettier and Younger But Not Any Better Off
Word Count: 2060
Genre: Fluff+Angst
Warnings: Swearing
Eight and a half million people reside in the city of London. Statistically speaking, there had to be someone out there for me. I knew I wasn't the best looking guy, but I couldn't have been the worst. That's one perk of living in a big city, statistics are in my favor for not being the least attractive guy in town at a given time. Though the numbers were in my favor, I still couldn't get it out of my head. The idea of a soul-mate was such a fascinating concept to me. I was soon-to-be the decrepit age of twenty-seven, I was beginning to fear that my better days were behind me. With each day that passed it felt as if my chances of meeting “the one” were slipping away.
“Dan” I called to my flatmate across the hall. While he was usually the one to struggle with laziness, I wasn't feeling particularly well that day.
“Yeah, Phil?” Dan replied. I heard the loud thud of footsteps chiming through the hall. Dan walked bravely and was never afraid to announce his presence. I, on the other hand, usually preferred to slip into the background. Dan and I also could not have been more different when it came to dating. Dan had no qualms about walking up and introducing himself to any pretty girl in the bar. Things were never quite that easy for me. It took more than a few drinks for me to even consider a meek 'hello'.
“Will you grab my jumper from the living room?” I asked, punctuating my request with a dry cough. Despite generous use of hand sanitizer, and an ample supply of immune support vitamins that my Grandmother had sworn by, I had come down with a cold.
“Sure, Phil.” Dan said before setting off down the hallway again. The rumble of his footsteps trailed into the distance.
Moments later Dan returned with my favorite blue jumper in hand. His hair was mussed and undone. It was nearing one in the afternoon, and I suspected he had just woken up. Dan was always a late riser, so this was no surprise. Dan was still boxer-clad, the pair matched his black t-shirt. I took the jumper from him and pulled my t-shirt off and tossed it aside. I pulled on the jumper and thanked him with a smile. It's no understatement to say that Dan was the best friend anyone could have asked for.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Dan offered as he examined one of the plastic figurines on my nightstand.
“You don't have to do that” I shrugged, not wanting to be any more of a burden on Dan than I already had been.
“It's not problem” Dan replied. He placed the figure back down and took a step closer. “You need to get plenty of liquids in your system.”
I nodded and Dan was on his way, leaving me alone in the silent room. I stared off at the distance and let my thoughts entertain me. I hated being sick. I absolutely loathed it. If I had any intentions of maintaining the success of my YouTube channel, I would need to film a video soon. There were so many things that needed to be done. Christmas was around the corner and I had more than a fair share of shopping to do. It drove me insane being cooped up in my bed all day. There were videos to film, gifts to buy, and chores to be done, but none of that would be accomplished today.
After twenty-minutes, which felt more like an eternity to me, Dan returned with my coffee. He had still neglected to put on his jeans. It was irritating to me. It was beginning to seem like Dan would take any excuse he could to be free of an article of clothing. I don't know why it was such an annoyance to me, but it was something I had to accept. Dan was stubborn. He wasn't about to change his ways for anyone, let alone his complaining flatmate. My eyes were distracted by the appearance of his pale legs, which were strangely muscular for a man who had never ran a day in his life. I laughed to myself as I imagined young Dan in gym class, probably dressed in a black My Chemical Romance shirt. I could see his arms crossed in the heat of an argument with the teacher, refusing to take part in the day's activity. Dan never really liked being told what to do, and I can't imagine his teenage self was any different.
I looked up and met his brown eyes as Dan handed over my drink, “Let me know if it needs more sugar. I didn't exactly measure.” Dan stated.
I mumbled a thank you and carefully took the cup from him. I had been so distracted by his legs that I hadn't noticed the gleam in his eye. He handed me a bowl of Shreddies and I knew something was up.
“So, Phil,” Dan started, a hesitant tone was present in his groggy morning voice. I placed the cereal and coffee on my nightstand in preparation for whatever revelation was about to occur. “Do you think you'll be feeling better by tomorrow night?”
“Probably not. Why?” I hesitated to even ask. Of course Dan wanted something. I should have known sooner.
“Well, Melissa is having a Christmas party.” He answered. There it was, the catch I had been waiting for.
I was quick to retort, “Well she's your girlfriend. I don't know why you'd need me to go.”
I had been on edge lately, especially when it came to Melissa. She was a mildly successful publicist, and never let anyone forget it. She and Dan had met when she had an interview at BBC. She may not have heard back from hiring manager, but Dan sure was quick to give her a call. They had been dating for two months now, and it couldn't have been more obvious that she was using Dan. She desperately wanted to get her foot in the door at BBC, no matter how many people she had to trample on to get there. I didn't know why Dan was so blind to her games, but sometimes people only see what they want to see.
“Well, I, uh” Dan stuttered. I braced myself, expecting the worse from his chapped lips. “I kind of promised we'd both be there.”
“You did what?” I was fuming. “Dan how could you do that? You know I hate big parties like that!”
“She wanted both of us there. She told all her friends, they're really excited to meet us.” Dan further informed me.
“Yeah of course they are, they think we're their meal ticket!” I snapped, my fists balling into my checkered duvet. I felt my face getting red. Nothing pissed me off more than being at a party where I felt like I was just another one of the party favors.
“It's not like that, Phil. They just want to meet us. They probably think we're cool or something.” Dan spoke, a hint of desperation in his voice. Lately it seemed like appeasing Melissa was the only thing he cared about.
“Oh, whatever, Dan. You know how it always goes. It's like were being solicited. Everyone always wants something.” I started to calm down. I caught my breath and released the duvet from my death grip. I wasn't usually this quick to anger, it must have been the fever getting to me.
“Look, Phil.” Dan said, taking both of my hands in his. I don't know why Dan always resorted to flirtation to get what he wanted out of me, and I sure as hell don't know why it always worked. He batted his eyelashes at me and stuck out his bottom lip. He rubbed small circles on the tops of my hands with his thumbs. He was incredibly close and I could smell the woody musk of his cologne. “I promise it won't be like that. If anyone says anything that makes you feel that way, we'll leave right then.”
“I don't know” I muttered. The pleading look in his chocolate brown eyes was starting to get to me. I could never tell Dan no, and he knew that. I was relentless to his powers of persuasion.
“Phil, Please. This means so much to me. I would owe you so much if you did this.” Dan continued to beg. “Please”
“Fine” I reluctantly agreed. “But you do seriously owe me.”
“Thank you!” He shouted. He tackled me with a hug and nearly knocked the piping hot coffee off of my nightstand. I wrapped my arms around Dan to receive his embrace. I fell flat onto my back on impact, sending me backwards onto my fluffy, faux-feather pillows with Dan on top of me. I couldn't help but giggle at my friend's silliness.
He rested his head on my shoulder and muttered a quiet praise, “You're comfy”
“And you are warm” I replied, squeezing my arms tighter around his waist. Though he didn't reply, I instantly regretted my statement. I was afraid that I had made things awkward between us once again. It seemed that lately I couldn't stop the strange words from pouring out of my mouth. I didn't even know where they were coming from, yet they always seemed to appear.
He must have laid there for nearly a minute before speaking. I felt a strange swirling of butterflies in my stomach, which I attributed to the upcoming party. Despite the awkwardness, I savored the moment. It was nice to be close to someone. It was nice to feel someone's warm breath on my neck. It was nice to have someone's head laid on my shoulder. All of this was nice, but it was just Dan. I was beginning to think the loneliness was messing with my head. It had been nearly a year since I had been on a date, and even longer since I had more than a quick hug from a girl. It was strange to think about, as I reflected upon it, that I have had more intimate encounters with my best friend than I had with most of the girls I had dated over the years. It's not like Dan and I had ever done anything together, but we did this. When Dan hugged me it felt like more than a quick hug from a distant relative. There was real meaning to it, I could tell. I suppose that's what you get when the person actually cares about you, and not because they have to. Dan wasn't brought into my life through blood, he was there simply by choice. No one else had ever chosen to stick around as long as he did. I felt blessed to have him as my friend, I truly did.
“Thank you” Dan whispered again. His lips brushed against my neck when he spoke, sending a distinct tingle up my spine. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the contact. I was suddenly desperate to put an end to our embrace.
“Alright, Dan. Get up.” I requested, lightly shoving at his shoulders. “You're really heavy”
“Fine” Dan grumbled as he rolled over onto the expanse of bed next to us. This solidified it in my brain that Dan had only remained so close to me out of laziness. This was always the fact with Dan. When we were sat too close together on the sofa it was because he was too lazy to move back. If he fell asleep with his head on my shoulder, well, that was out of sheer convenience.
“So what time is thing party tomorrow?” I asked, rolling over to face my lazy ass friend.
“It's at six-thirty.” Dan answered. He was suspiciously quiet before speaking once again. “Oh yeah and one more thing, Phil. I hope your tux is clean because this is a formal event.”
---
Read Next Chapter
Note: Thank you for reading! Please let me know if you think I should continue!
I read your fic Read and Weep a few days ago and oh my god, let me just say, it was freaking amazing. I love your writing. It was realistic, interesting and so freaking perfect.
wow thank you so much this is so sweet of you to say <3 <3 <3
(you should read the thing)
By The Glow Of City Lights
Summary: The stress of the book tour has taken it’s toll on Phil, and it’s only made more complicated by his ever-growing feelings for Dan. Sometimes all you need is a room with a view and someone to share it with.
Word Count: 4151
Warnings: Language
Genre: Fluff (And a dash of angst) A/N: I couldn’t resist writing about their tour despite that I am a sad American and will not be attending.
Phil closed his tired eyes and rested his head on the overstuffed pillow. Another night, another hotel room. He tried his best to pretend that this wasn't all starting to get to him. Slowly, but surely. Night after, night. It was a once in a lifetime experience that he never could have imagined when he first started his channel. Nineteen year old Phil didn't expect to have millions of subscribers or a successful book tour. Hell, nineteen year old Phil didn't even expect one hundred subscribers. Phil also never expected to meet an attractive internet boy and become best friends despite the mileage between them. A lot of things happened to Phil that he never expected. And falling in love with his best friend was surely the most unexpected one.
Phil couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that he fell for Dan. Some people say falling in love his like a gunshot wound to the chest; A sudden rush that knocks you off your feet. For Phil, his love for Dan felt more like a terminal illness. It crept in slowly, and unrecognized. Pushed aside until it was far too late to hope for a cure. There could be no curing this love that burned in Phil's chest, currently at an intensity he feared could possibly even set the whole room ablaze. He forced his eyes shut and tried to catch some rest. The fire would have to wait until another day. His only wish before closing his eyes was that some way, some how, Dan would be ignited too. Phil laughed for Dan because he knew that he would appreciate the irony if he knew the truth. Danisnotonfire. Why did it suddenly feel like a simple user name was laughing in his face?
Phil had nearly drifted off when he felt the hotel bed move and was jolted awake. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that it was just Dan tossing and turning in the night. Stupid fucking hotel. Couldn't possibly give two grown men their own beds, despite booking for separate ones, Phil cursed to himself. But it wasn't really the hotel's fault. Sharing a bed with his best friend should have been fine, it could have been fine, if he hadn't fallen in love with him. Now the mere inches between their bodies was mocking Phil, and he tried his best to convince himself that it would be okay. It was only one night. One night next to Dan Howell who just happened to mumble in his sleep and steal all the blankets from Phil. One night next to the man who Phil desperately wanted to pull into a bear hug at any given moment.
The moonlight gleamed through the window's unclosed blinds. Phil had nearly drifted off again when the bedside lamp flickered on, shooting down any shred of hope he had for falling asleep. He squinted and saw Dan disappearing behind the bathroom door. Phil occupied his eyes on the painting across from the bed. It was a nice hotel, but Phil couldn't help but find their art selection distasteful. The pink floral garden scene was overdone, but so was falling in love with your best friend. It was an a cliche that Phil never could escape. The sounds of a toilet flush followed by a short burst of running water could be heard before Dan swung open the creaky bathroom door. Dan's hair was a mess, just the way Phil liked it. Dan lazily made his way back to the bed before settling under the expensive white sheets.
Dan turned to face Phil, who was having a stare down with the ugly, mass-produced painting. Through a groggy, exhausted voice Dan spoke, “Why're you still up?”
Phil shrugged, still not taking his eyes off the artwork, “Dunno. Couldn't sleep I guess.”
“Don't be so stressed Phil. We'll be home soon.” Dan said. He rolled onto his side, facing Phil. He eyed the older man, still not eliciting much of a response.
“Yeah” Phil sighed. He felt fingers running through his messed up fringe. It was one of life's simplest pleasures for Phil. He loved it when people played with his hair, especially when it was Dan.
“You need some rest. You've been so stressed out.” Dan remarked. He couldn't help but notice the toll the tour was taking on Phil. Phil's once lively face was now plagued with purple bags under his eyes. The once energetic friend was now sluggish, and even lazier than Dan, which was very alarming to him.
“I know” Phil agreed. He was holding back again, clenching his mouth shut to prevent those three dangerous words from slipping out, as they often threatened to do. I. Love. You.
Phil rolled onto his side to face Dan. He closed his eyes for a moment and tried to relax. Dan continued to run his fingers through the dark strands, comforting his friend. “I know it's hard, but this is everything we ever wanted.” Dan said softly.
“Not everything” Phil mumbled quietly. This comment seemed to go unnoticed by Dan, as the older man waited, but received no response.
Dan slowly slid his hand from Phil's fringe and down his arm which rested on his side, over the covers. He ran his fingers comfortingly up and down the man's forearm. Phil's slowly opened his achingly tired eyes. Before him he saw one of the most incredible sights. Dan, with pale skin glowing under the dim light of the bedside lamp, supporting himself with his right arm as his left grazed Phil's. In that moment, Phil was thankful that the fans had coined the term heart-eyes Howell, because it was the only way to even begin to describe the look in his chocolate orbs. So full of care and adoration. So full of something that Phil could only wish was love.
It wasn't but a few minutes and Phil had drifted off to sleep. Dan ceased his fingers from stroking Phil's arm. Only after a few soft snores could be heard did Dan lower his hand and interlock his fingers with Phil's. Dan fell asleep gripping Phil's hand, because a part of him needed that comfort too. Dan had a strong exterior, but he wanted nothing more but to be home, in his own bed, rather than some mediocre hotel room.
The two woke up to the sunlight streaming through the blinds and the alarm set on Dan's phone going off. Seven in the morning was far from Dan's ideal wake up time, but it had to be done. Today's venue required the show be held early in the day. Hands still interlocked, even though nearly three hours had passed since they had fallen asleep. Phil reluctantly pulled away, wondering what had possessed him to grab his flatmate's hand in the middle of the night. A shiver of embarrassment quaked through his body, not realizing that he wasn't the one to blame for the contact.
After the day's activities had came and went the two settled again in another city. The four hour journey was exhausting. As soon as Dan unlocked the door to the hotel suite, he laid claim to the bed by the windows and glass door to the balcony. He collapsed face first onto the mattress. Phil laid his bags down on the remaining bed and sat on the edge. After a few moments Dan stood up and made his way over to the window. He gazed down at the city beneath them. Their room was very high up. The twentieth floor allowed for breathtaking views of the city lights. Dan admired the view for a moment, taking in the serenity that it brought him.
Phil joined Dan at the window and gazed upon the city. “Beautiful isn't it?” Phil broke the silence. Dan turned to face him, his eyes locking with Phil's. He felt the urge to sweep the hair out of Phil's eyes, but managed to resist.
“It is” Dan replied, but he wasn't looking at the view.
A jolt of sudden electricity could be felt between them. This was nothing new. In six years of friendship they had experienced many of these moments. It could have always been something more, yet it never was. The only difference now was that Phil was tired. He was tired of touring. He was tired of working everyday, despite that it was his dream job. But mostly, Phil was tired of hiding his feelings for Dan. This year had been the best one that he had ever had and he couldn't seem to shut up that nagging voice in his head taunting him about the one thing that could make it better.
“Do you want to step outside?” Dan asked. Phil sensed an urgency in his voice that he didn't know how to interpret. However, Phil nodded and followed Dan outside.
The air was cold, much colder than his jumper could account for. A breeze blew through Dan's hair as he gripped he balcony railing. The view was even more magnificent without the restrictions of the glass. Phil slid closer to Dan, knowing he could blame this gesture on the desire for warmth. The two stood in silence and looked out at the city. Dan turned to face Phil and spoke with a smile, “Did you ever think we would be doing this?”
“No” Phil answered honestly. “I never thought that all of this would ever happen. It's so amazing.”
“If you could change anything, though, what would you change?” Dan said, punctuating his statement with a nibble to his bottom lip.
Phil couldn't manage a reply. His eyes were wide as he looked at Dan's. The spark was always there, it was like an undeniable force between them. Phil wasn't sure how much longer he could hold back his feelings. Everything about the night was perfect and Phil always loved the way Dan looked under the moonlight. Dan gazed into Phil's eyes, searching for what to say next. Dan's next words came as a surprise, even to himself.
“Phil,” He spoke softly, feeling as though he could melt into Phil's gaze. “Kiss me”
Phil's eyes widened and he felt his heart pick up the pace. He waited for the punchline, because he knew that this had to be some kind of joke, but it never came. He waited for Dan to burst into laughter, or to crack a smile, revealing that he had said this only for a laugh. Instead, Dan's eyes remained fixated on his, looking more serious than ever. Dan waited, his heart beating faster and his mind fully aware that he could have just made the biggest mistake of his life.
Phil slowly moved closer, giving Dan ample time to change his mind. He was shocked when he touched his lips to Dan's, and instead of pulling away, Dan raised a hand to softly cup Phil's cheek. A gust of wind blew through their hair, sending a chill up Phil's spine, but he didn't care. He let his lips linger on Dan's for a moment longer before pulling away to examine the expression on Dan's face. A smile curved over the younger man's lips, and he wanted to speak, but he didn't yet know what he could say.
Phil turned to face the city lights again. He gazed out at the sight, unsure if he had made the right decision. He felt an arm drape around him. Dan rested his head on Phil's shoulder and stared aimlessly at the scenery. “I literally learn something new about you everyday” Dan laughed to break the tension.
“Oh yeah, what did you learn today?” Phil asked curiously, punctuating his sentence with a giggle.
“I learned that you're a pretty good kisser.” Dan replied with a grin and a slight blush that formed on his cheeks. “Kind of an awkward thing to learn about your best friend.”
“There are a plethora of awkward things you have yet to learn about me.” Phil laughed.
“Why do I feel like you aren't even joking about that?” Dan asked with a chuckle. Phil looked at Dan and raised his eyebrows suggestively. Dan rolled his eyes and playfully hit Phil on the arm before the two both burst into a fit laughter.
The two laughed on the balcony for a solid ten minutes before going back inside. Phil was unsure of what to make of this kiss. His head was spinning. One minute Dan was asking Phil to kiss him, the next he was joking around as if it didn't mean a thing. He slid the glass door shut and sat on the edge of Dan's bed. Phil grew silent as he reflected upon the events of the evening. Dan couldn't help but notice his friend's discomfort.
“What's wrong, Phil?” Dan asked. He took a seat beside his best friend on the considerably fluffy hotel mattress.
“Nothing” Phil shrugged “Just a long day, I guess.”
“We could order a pizza and watch a movie?” Dan suggested. He ran a hand nervously through his fringe. He wasn't quite ready to confront the matter at hand just yet. He needed to feel like everything was okay for just a little bit longer. He felt like the walls were closing in and suddenly this was all too overwhelming to face.
“Yeah, sure” Phil replied with a faked smile.
Dan retrieved his laptop from his suitcase and pulled up the website for the nearest Domino's. He order a pizza for them to share. Dan scrolled Tumblr and Phil flipped through the channels on the large flat screen TV while they waited for their pizza to arrive. Twenty minutes later a pizza delivery man knocked on the door of their hotel suite. Dan sat the pizza on his bed and curled up under the blankets.
“Pizza in bed?” Phil asked. A grin of amusement was pasted across his face.
“You in?” Dan offered, lifting up the blankets for Phil to join.
Phil slid under the covers and propped himself up with the fluffy, white pillows behind him. They settled on an action movie that was just coming on one of the channels. Phil had a strange mixture of feelings brewing in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't seem to get too far drawn into his thoughts, as Dan's inappropriate outbursts of giggles at the movie always seemed to bring him back down to reality. Despite the events that had taken place that night, Dan was still perfectly willing to curl up in bed with him and watch a movie. The implications of such a simple action sent his head into a whirl. The kiss Phil had been waiting years for had finally happened, but the event was bitter sweet.
After they finished the pizza they tossed the empty box aside onto Phil's bed. Phil slid down onto his back, and stared up aimlessly at the screen. He was afraid to look at Dan anymore. He feared that even a simple look would scare his friend away. Eventually he got the courage and rolled onto his side to face Dan. Dan's eyes locked with Phil's. “Hey” Dan smiled.
Phil noticed that Dan was looking at him differently this time. It was a look similar to the one he had given him the night before. Heart eyes, they killed Phil every time. Phil couldn't help but smile back and mustered a reply, “Hey”
“You're awfully quiet tonight” Dan commented as he brushed the fringe out of his own eyes.
“I guess” Phil sighed. He didn't know much else to say.
“Can we just skip the awkwardness? I know it was weird earlier, but let's just forget about it.” Dan stated bluntly. The last thing he wanted was to forget about their kiss. In truth, Dan had already regarded it as the best kiss he had ever had. He wanted nothing more than to pull Phil into his arms and feel his lips once again. However, his better judgment refused to let him complete this action. Dan reasoned with himself and couldn't help but interpret Phil's distance as regret. He didn't want to lose his best friend, so he thought it best to swallow back his feelings once again.
“Yeah, I agree. Let's just, let's forget about it.” Phil croaked, choking back the overwhelming urge to burst into tears.
“Never happened.” Dan said, feeling his heart shattering piece by piece at Phil's agreement.
“Yep. Never happened.” Phil agreed.
“I'm kinda glad we get to stay here for a few nights.” Dan changed the subject.
“Yeah, this hotel is really nice.” Phil added. He took another look around the room, it truly was a wonderful room. The beds were unbelievably comfy, the art on the walls was tasteful (a nice change from their last room), and the view was simply breathtaking. Upon completing a full survey of the room Phil could only surmise that the only thing in the room that was truly beautiful was Dan.
Phil took a deep breath and found comfort in the moment. Despite all that happened Dan was still there. No matter what aspect it was, whether friendship or romance, it didn't matter, because Phil still had Dan. Maybe he would never feel Dan's lips against his again. Maybe each embrace would be exclusively platonic. Maybe they would never make love, and Phil's dreams would remain dreams. Phil silently mourned the loss of possibilities. Regardless of everything Phil had felt he had lost he knew that Dan wasn't going anywhere. In a way it was like he had came face to face with his worst fear. Sure, it wasn't the best possible outcome, but it wasn't the worst. He was still able to lay in Dan's bed and feel like everything was okay.
Dan traced circles in the duvet with his index finger. The movie had long ago faded to black, and the television had been turned off. Dan stared contently at the ceiling. The only thing he could think about was how good it felt to have Phil's head on his chest, a new arrangement that took place soon after the end of the movie. Neither acknowledged the gesture, but Phil found it quite comfortable. He was in love with the way his head fit perfectly on Dan's chest. Dan's arm eventually found it's way over Phil's back, with absent-minded fingers softly stroking the older man's blue t-shirt.
Phil had nearly lulled off to sleep when Dan spoke, “Phil, you ready for bed?”
“Ugh, no. I don't want to move.” Phil groaned. His voice was muffled by Dan's chest.
“You don't have to,” Dan answer a little too quickly. “I mean, you're already settled in and everything.”
“Really? You sure you don't mind?” Phil asked groggily.
“No, no. I don't mind at all” Dan stuttered, hoping Phil wouldn't catch onto his infinite awkwardness. “Let me just turn out the lights.”
Phil lifted and allowed Dan to be free. Dan climbed off of the bed and made his way over to the light switch. He flipped off the lights but left the blinds open, allowing the city lights to shine through. Dan slid out of his jeans but left on his shirt to preserve any last shred of normalcy that might be left. He climbed into bed next to his friend and rested his head on the pillow. He closed his eyes and tried to rest when he felt weight shift off of the bed. He opened his eyes and turned to see Phil getting out of bed.
“Where are you going?” Dan asked.
“I forgot to take my contacts out” Phil grumbled as he found his way to the bathroom, path lit by the glow of city lights.
Phil shuffled through his bag and managed to find his contact solution and case. He flicked on the bathroom light and removed the pieces of plastic. Soon, Dan saw the light go off again, and Phil shuffled through his bags once more. He watched as Phil slowly slid off his black jeans and replaced them with pikachu pajama bottoms. Lucky for Dan, Phil was faced away and did not notice the perversion. Phil found his way back to the bed and took his place under the covers.
Phil lied awake, blue eyes transfixed on the white tile ceiling. Dan was awake too, despite that his eyes were squeezed shut. The moments passed by slowly and the room was quiet. Dan rolled onto his side, now facing Phil's direction. Phil shifted so that he would face Dan as well. Dan stared into his friend's eyes. They were always so piercing, so captivating, almost as if they could see into your soul. Dan feared that if they could then Phil would probably want to run far, far away. He didn't know that he couldn't be more wrong. Phil's skin had a ghostly glow under the glare of the city lights reflecting in the window. Phil stared into Dan's eyes, as well. He wondered what his friend was thinking, desperate to know if he was the only one who could feel the palpable chemistry that lingered in the room.
Phil moved closer, entranced by Dan's chocolate brown orbs. Despite knowing Dan better than he even knew himself, he was still a mystery to Phil. Dan's heart threatened to jump right out of his chest and plummet itself down twenty stories as Phil slid closer. Phil's heart was racing too, because suddenly this all felt real. Phil didn't know what to make of the situation, but he made the conscious decision to switch his brain off for a minute. It didn't matter, he didn't need to think. Nothing matter except Dan, and the proximity at which their bodies now resided.
Dan was confused and exhausted, and he didn't know Phil felt about him. His brain was spinning. He was insecure, he feared that despite the kiss they had shared earlier, that there was no way someone like Phil Lester could actually feel that way about him. He did, however, know the one way to find out. He decided to go all out, he needed to know if their kiss earlier was just a fluke. Dan made his move slowly, giving Phil ample time to run away. Dan's right hand wandered to Phil's cheek, and softly stroked it with his thumb. Dan moved closer and slid his hand from Phil's cheek, down to lazily wrap around is neck. Dan pressed his lips against Phil's, and was shocked when Phil slowly began to kiss him back.
Phil wrapped his arm around Dan's waist and pulled him closer. The reality of kissing Dan was better than any dream or fantasy that his brain could ever conjure up. The kiss grew more passionate when Phil found the nerve to flick his tongue at Dan's lips, and it's entry was gladly accepted. Eventually Dan found it necessary to breath and reluctantly pulled away. He caught his breath and took a moment to marvel at the sight in front of his. Phil looked so beautiful under the reflection of the city lights. He was nearly breathtaking. Phi's vision was blurry, but he could still discern the look of admiration on Dan's face.
“So...” Dan began, cutting through the room's dense silence. “I kind of like you.”
Phil giggled at the statement. It was childish and overdone, yet still so, so perfect when coming from Dan's lips. “I kind of like you too, Dan”
Dan pulled Phil into his arms and the two quickly drifted off to sleep.
The alarm sounded at nine in the morning. Dan quickly reach for his phone to shut off the alarm, he was careful not to disturb the sleeping Phil that was nuzzled in the crook of his neck. The reality slapped him in the face and it was undeniable. He could still feel Phil on his lips, he knew it wasn't a dream.
“We need to get up” Dan urged. He playfully poked at Phil's shoulder.
“No” Phil whined and made a lazy attempt to slap Dan's hand away. “Five more minutes.”
“No, Phil. We need to get up. We have to get ready.” Dan stated firmly.
“Fine” Phil groaned and lifted his head. One look at Dan's messy, bed hair caused Phil a wide grin.
“What?” Dan giggled at Phil's cheery expression.
“One question,” Phil began. Dan gave him a look signaling to continue. “How do you feel about morning breath kisses?”
“I'm not offended by it” Dan answered. Phil moved closer and pressed a quick, yet passionate kiss to Dan's lips.
“Good.” Phil replied with a smile, playfully sticking his tongue out. “You better get used to them.”
Whiteboard Confessions
Summary: Phil confesses his feelings for Dan and doesn’t get the reaction he’s expecting. He plays it off as a joke but the truth comes out when they’re at the radio show.
Word Count: 1147
Warnings: Some minor cursing
Genre: Fluffy angstyness
“I think I'm in love with you” The words blurted from my mouth faster than my mind could even begin to process. This was neither the time nor the place for my confession. My lips felt as if they had once again spoken without my brain's consent.
“P-Phil?' Dan stuttered. His eyes grew wide and looked to mine for an answer. “Are-are you? Is this a joke?”
That was not the reaction I had always hoped to hear. “No” I whispered. I couldn't bear to make eye contact with Dan any longer. I twisted my hand in the black and gray duvet, taking in it's softness for what might be the last time.
“I-I'm sorry, Phil. I-I don't...” Dan uttered, each syllable felt like a sword through my heart. The tears began to pool in my eyes, and threatened to fall at any minute. I knew I needed to make my escape, I couldn't lose Dan.
“Surprise! It was a joke! I just wanted to see what you'd say!” I exclaimed, trying my best to fake a happy expression. I faked my best laugh, but acting had never really been my forte.
“Phil, you twat. That's a horrible joke!” Dan roared with laughter. I wondered how he could believe such a lie, but thankfully for me, he bought it. “What if I would have confessed an undying love for you or something?”
“Well that would be awkward then” I lied. Awkward would not have been my choice word to describe it. Beautiful, romantic, and perfect were all words that came to mind. Awkward, however, would not have accurately described the situation.
Dan laughed and flashed another brilliant smile. “We need to get going soon, the radio show is in an hour”
I was unusually silent the whole ride there, hoping that my quietness would go unnoticed by Dan. Luckily, he was preoccupied with his cell phone and the awkward silence didn't feel so awkward. Things never felt as awkward as they should have with Dan, maybe that's why I fell in love with him. It was always just so easy with him. Our cab pulled up to the radio station and Dan looked at me and smiled, “Are you ready for this, Phil?” The honest answer would have been no, but I lied and said yes. I tried my best to act like nothing was wrong as we made our way through the crowd. We finally found our way inside and got settled.
Once the show started I was able to get into the swing of things. Dan and I banted about like usual, as if nothing had happened between us. I suppose that nothing did happen, not for Dan at least. It killed me that he was going on about his life perfectly normal, unchanged and unphased. All the while I was breaking inside and trying my best to hide my pain. We were halfway through our Internet News segment and I simply couldn't take it anymore. I was broken inside and it was becoming apparent to me that what I said earlier was something I could ever take back. It may have been just a funny joke to Dan, but hearing his reaction broke me. Nothing could ever be the same, not to me anyway.
“I don't understand how could you not notice a goat living on your roof for six months.” Dan laughed, making light of the recent bizarre news story.
“My aunt once had a donkey living in her basement for a week before she noticed” I banted. I turned to Dan and faked a half-smile.
“Please tell me you're kidding” Dan laughed, giving me a wide grin.
I turned to face Dan again. I paused for a moment, and I couldn't help but feel as if he knew what I was about to say. There was nothing but seriousness in my tone when I looked into his eyes and spoke, “Dan, I-I wasn't joking earlier”
Dan's eyes widened, his mouth slightly parted. He stalled for a minute. I could tell he didn't know what to say, and neither did I. He took a few seconds to process the information I had just given him. Dan knew exactly what I meant. He knew I was talking about more than an animal stowed away in my aunt's basement. “With your family, somehow that doesn't surprise me” Dan said, dismissing my comment. I wanted to run out of the studio and in front of the nearest bus, but I had no choice but to stay. We went about the show as normally as possible. I could hardly speak, my throat felt as if it could close off at any time. Dan kept looking at me, his eyes were puzzled with confusion. He introduced the next song and grabbed the marker board. He jotted something down and handed it to me, making sure it couldn't be seen by the camera.
PHIL ARE YOU OKAY?
I looked at him and tried my best to hold back my tears. I shook my head no and wrote my reply.
I'M SORRY
Dan took the board from me and erased my reply. He paused for a moment and stared thoughtfully at the blank, white board. He uncapped the marker and wrote his message. As he passed me the board he looked into my eyes. I could tell he was waiting, ready to gauge my reaction.
I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU TOO
If the words weren't spelled out right in front of me I would have thought I misheard them. I looked to Dan's eyes, they were so beautiful. I didn't have time to react as the song came to an end and it was time to introduce our final song of the day. I quickly erased the board and tossed it aside. We gave our closing statements and introduced the last song. My heart was racing. I wasn't ready to endure the whole ordeal of leaving the station and getting home. I breathed a sigh of relief when we finally unlocked the door to our flat. I followed Dan upstairs and took my seat next to him on the sofa. I knew I needed to say something but it felt like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. My heart nearly raced out of my chest when he turned to me and I heard him speak for the first time since our radio show banter. “Phil.” Dan said softly and placed his hand on my leg.
“Dan,” was my only reply before Dan slowly moved closer and cupped the sides of my face in his palms. He gently kissed my lips and pulled away with a smile.
“A fucking donkey in her basement, really, Phil?” Dan laughed and leaned his head on my shoulder.
Your fics are seriously amazing! I need more!! <3
oh my gosh thank you so much!! your fics are literally why i started writing haha :))
A Single Orange Rose
Summary: Phil wonders who keeps sending him a bouquet of orange roses each week, but when he finally meets up with the mysterious admirer will it change things forever?
Word Count: 1775
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None
Someone was at the door early that morning and Phil knew exactly who it was. This had became a regular Friday morning occurrence. While Phil had grown to expect the gesture, he never grew tired of it. He pranced across the house in his pajamas with a light step, careful not to wake his sleeping roommate. Phil answered the door to find the delivery man with a large bouquet of orange roses. Phil had never even seen an orange rose until two months ago when he received a bouquet from an unknown sender, but they had quickly became his favorite. He snatched up his most recent delivery with a smile and thanked the delivery person before running inside to put it in a vase.
“Another delivery?” Dan said groggily. He rubbed his tired eyes and smiled at the beautiful flowers Phil had put on display.
“Yes” Phil beamed. His smile practically lit up the room.
“Well look at you, Mr. Popular” Dan said with a grin.
“I still don't know who is sending them and this is the eighth one I've gotten!” Phil exclaimed. His eyes only shifted from the flowers so he could admire Dan's bed hair.
“No note or anything?” Dan asked as he plopped down onto their worn out sofa.
“Nope. I've got a secret admirer!” Phil chimed before joining Dan on the sofa. “Maybe I should try to contact the florist and see who is sending them.”
“No,” Dan answered a little too quickly. “I mean, that would ruin the surprise. They probably have a really special way planned out to tell you.”
“Well I wish they'd get on with it already! It's been two months!” Phil said. He crossed his arms and sighed, he was tired of waiting, the suspense was killing him.
“Give it time” Dan said with a yawn. He leaned his head onto his friend's shoulder and closed his eyes. “I'm so tired”
“You get any sleep last night?” Phil asked.
“Not really. I couldn't fall asleep.” Dan sighed and yawned again.
“If you let me up I'll make you some coffee” Phil offered with a smile.
“No...” Dan whined “You're comfy.”
Phil didn't put up a fight, and within a few minutes his best friend was snoring on his shoulder. Phil didn't dare to move. The last thing he wanted to do was wake Dan up. He knew his friend needed the rest, and he really didn't mind the intrusion. In fact, it wasn't much of an intrusion at all. He could barely turn his head , but the corner of his eye allowed for the perfect view. He rested his head on Dan's and stayed still for nearly forty minutes until Dan woke up.
Phil had nearly drifted off to sleep when he felt Dan shift. Phil lifted his head, freeing Dan from his current position.
Dan lifted his head and yawned, “How long was I out?”
“Not long” Phil smiled.
“You know you could have just shoved me off or something. I wouldn't have been mad.” Dan said as he adjusted his hair.
“I didn't want to” Phil said as he turned to face Dan. Their eyes met, and Dan almost felt like he should turn away, but he didn't. Phil felt the temptation to do something that would quench the biggest curiosity he has had in years. Kissing his best friend was such a taboo, but that didn't stop Phil from wondering about it now and again when they were face to face.
Dan dragged his tongue across his bottom lip, he thought that maybe the moment had came. It's not like he had intentionally kept count of the times he thought Phil was going to kiss him, but the number fifteen stood out in his mind for some reason. Just as Dan felt the courage to move a little closer, Phil pulled away. Actually, it was sixteen now. Dan instantly jerked his body away, it was a reflex he had hoped wasn't too obvious to Phil. “I'll go grab you that coffee” Phil said, but he was barely heard by Dan who was still in his own little world. Dan brushed his index finger across his lips, which suddenly felt more deserted and barren than ever.
Several minutes later Phil snapped him out of his trance with a warm Hello Kitty mug. “Here, this will help.” Phil said, mistaking Dan's disappointment for exhaustion.
Later that night, after he had retired to his room, Dan decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore. He couldn't bear to have a number seventeen. If Phil gave him that look one more time he thought he might just jump out of their office window. But it wasn't really the look that drove him crazy, Dan loved the look. Dan's heart skipped a beat each time he recalled it, the look displayed a mix of curiosity, nervousness, and desire. He could take the look one more time, or a thousand more times for that matter. It was the pulling away that he couldn't take. It was the sudden shift in eye contact and a desperate excuse to leave the room that drove him crazy. He didn't understand what was between them, but he knew he couldn't take it anymore.
It was another dreary Friday morning and Phil was already up in anticipation of his delivery. He was lucky to even hear that someone was at the door as he had been blasting his favorite radio station for the past hour. Dan went to stay with Chris the night before, so Phil had the whole flat to himself that morning. Phil was delighted to open the door and find the usual delivery man, but this time he had something different. The postman held a single orange rose with a note attached. Phil thanked the man and quickly rushed back upstairs to read the message:
Please take this and meet me at River Park at 14:00. You'll know it's me because I'll have one too.
Upon reading the message Phil's heart began to race. He immediately reached for his phone to call Dan. He found it strange when Dan's phone went straight to voicemail, but it wasn't that uncommon for Dan to forget his charger when staying overnight somewhere. He sent a quick text and hoped Dan would get it soon. It didn't seem safe to go meet a random stranger alone. However, it was a very popular park and Phil was sure that he wasn't going to be attacked. He quickly rushed to the shower to get ready. He only had to wait four more hours until he would finally find out who his mysterious admirer was.
Phil was glad that River Park was only a short walk from the apartment, because he was running late. Phil selected a blue plaid shirt and tossed it on before running out the door. He nearly jogged the entire 10 minute walk. His palms were sweating and his stomach was twisted in knots as he approached the tall, iron gates that led way to the park. He crossed through them, knowing it was now or never. It seemed to Phil that he had never really taken the time to appreciate this park before. Though he must have passed by it a hundred times, he never noticed how beautiful it was until now. Tall, sparsely placed white willow trees decorated the land. The fence was lined with white rose bushes, and there was a small pond in the distance. It was really a breathtaking site to be seen in the city. There was a chill in the air and the wind blew through Phil's hair. He paused for a moment, feeling the familiar feeling of his nerves getting the best of him. He contemplated turning around and going back home when he spotted something orange off in the distance.
Phil took a few steps closer to get a better look. The orange dot stood out against the black blur behind it. He got closer and could tell that someone was standing under a willow tree, holding what appeared to be an orange rose. Phil grew closer and was certain it was a young man holding the flower. He slowly approached the man and his features grew clearer: he was dressed in black from head to toe, he was tall and slim. Phil's heart nearly pounded out of his chest, he had a boy standing there waiting on him, a boy who had spend a fortune on roses in the past two months. Phil continued to approach the man, with nervous and shaking hands. In that moment he wished that his best friend could be there to share the moment with him, but then Phil realized, he was.
Now only steps away, Phil could see. It was unmistakably Dan who was standing there, his brown fringe ruffled by the wind. He was wrapped up in the black jacket that Phil always thought fit him so well. Dan's hands were unsteady, the beautiful orange rose was shaking in his palm.
“Hey, Phil” Dan spoke quietly.
“Dan?” Phil asked. He couldn't believe who was standing in front of him.
“So, you probably guessed but, I have something to tell you.” Dan said. He couldn't believe the words that were about to come out of his mouth. Phil nodded and Dan continued. “Y-You've always b-been there for me Phil, and-” Dan paused for a breath to calm himself. He stuttered and his lips trembled with every word. He was truly scared to death. “Well, I-I love you, Phil.”
“Dan,” Phil whispered. Utter shock coursed through his veins. He took a deep breath before committing to the decision to finally satisfy that curiosity. Phil held his orange rose in his left hand and used his right to caress Dan's cheek, it was cold to the touch from the cool air. Phil swallowed his nerves and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Dan's. A chilly gust of wind blew though the trees. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's waist, careful not to drop the beautiful flower in his hand. He pulled the younger man close, shielding him from the cold breeze. Dan's arms found their way around Phil's back. Dan replied with a soft, yet passionate kiss, to which Phil responded with one of his own.
Phil slowly pulled away and looked into Dan's eyes, “I love you too, Dan.” He pressed another quick kiss to Dan's lips. “Now let's get you inside, it's freezing out here”.
Hey there! I just wanted to say that I just read Six Feet Under The Stars and it was so beautiful! Everything about it was perfect and I love your writing style. I literally can't even tell you how amazing it was! <3 <3
Oh my god I’m honoured you enjoyed my fic I read yours all the time! The old woman and the bench is one of my faves and I recently read going off the script. Unknown number and the night I kissed Phil they’re all so good! Thank you so much for your kind words I really appreciate it😁