about some fans assumption of the writers "beating destiel fans up"
I don't think the writers are intently harming us. OR are intently doing evil things to our ship. For them... they just tell a story how they see fit. And that involves just a certain amount of heteronormativity. Cause well they are all hetero. They are not aware of how they actually fall into this status quo probably.
First they don't think about destiel that often. I even think for them its a bit of a separate thing. Like they have their actual story. and how they would like to go with cas experiencing humanity and it involves sex as well (and hey fans love misha and fans love a half naked Misha too so yeah!) and how he is now different to dean and sam without powers.
I think the big difference is simply, for many fans Dean and Castiel relation with a romantic aspect even if still mostly in subtext... is a driving force for them to the characters. Destiel is a motivation to characters on the show. (well mainly the two of them) and I think for the writers it isn't any kind of motivation. They put subtext in it but it is not at all a primary motivation to their characters.
Fandom sees Destiel as big burning passionate love, penned up, waiting for its release.
While the writers/actors probably see it as a simple affection between the two characters that is crossing the line of platonic to romantic more often than not.
I think this clash is just because fandom and writers have different expectations for this relationship. Because of course it hurts us more when we see them separate for maybe half a season and having sex with other people when we think and expect them to feel sooo deeply about each other...
but for the writers it's simple affection that might lead somewhere but isn't yet defined really between the two.... I think for them Dean and Cas is more of a crush than love when it comes to the romance.
It's still a deep friendship but then we come back to what I said earlier: I think the writers often separate Destiel from platonic dean/cas.
I think frustration led to victim complex here. Cause it's so much easier to think the writers hate us and our ship. That it doesn't mean a thing to them. Than that it just isn't as important as they see it for the story.
That the writers actually do like it in a way but not enough for the fandom. And then to demand more more more... just isn't as easy without sounding petty and greedy and actually acknowledging that this frustration is more part of heteronormativity in media and overall expectations and diversity in writing staff and it's just stuff we can't easily change from one day to another.
Its just fucking complicated.
And as for myself, while there is disappointment, there is no rage or hate at the writers or crew from me. There is a sort of defeatment because I feel I expected too much. Hoped too much and that while yes it is actually common for other love interests to happen in our scenario we have to face a reality that its different for a same sex couple as a straight one. And I will see them having relationships of romantic and sexual kind with other people. While knowing very likely this won't be in the cards for them and it would be if they weren't both male. Not because they are all homophobes but rather because the writers have a different world view as we do. Especially when it comes to LGBT+ fans.
There is still a shimmer of hope in me. I don't know, I can't quash it yet. But as said, I won't be able to enjoy all the other stuff because my favourite thing of the show is maybe diminished and not made fun of but in a way put in second place at best.
And It's the worst for me personally because I became fan not from tumblr. I didn't ship anything from gifs or so.
I fell in love with the show in its second season! The third was the one where I knew this is something really different. Hell even the whole of season 4 I did not ship dean/cas... not even today! (I can smirk now because there is some stuff, but for me it never is enough... S4 is still them becoming comrades and friends to me. Though there is some serious tension between them.. one might even dare to say its sexual... ;) )
So I enjoyed the hell out of supernatural before! I loved it before Destiel ever came to my mind. And even when Destiel was there heavy on my mind.... I still love so many other stuff!
Naomi, Charlie, Abaddon, Kevin, The season 4 arc!, The men of letters bunker and legacy, Death, Sheriff Mills. And from those 6 will be heavily featured in season 9. And I know if I could separate my dark cloud of worry I have over Destiel... I would be absolutely fucking delighted for Season 9 right now! (ALAINA HUFFMAN IS BACK AS ABADDON! THATS THE GREATEST NEWS SO FAR!) And if Naomi were to come back too. (cause actually I would want her endgame to be what Cas never could. Lead heaven and its angels into free will. Not because Cas was unable or weak... but simply cause Cas heart was just already given away to someone else. And he had always a bit of a conflict of interest in his heart. Heaven or Dean. Dean or Heaven. Both family but in so many different ways.)
So yeah there is actually a lot of stuff I am super excited about. But thats the problem, I know that the Destiel part of it or the lack of it... will be like a bitter taste infecting all other stuff and seep out my enjoyment over time. Basically my too big investment in Destiel is ruining the rest of the show for me cause I hope and expect too much from it. Thats why I think its best to just watch the season more or less in one go, so there won't be any time for my resentment over something to fester.
And its not like i need super happy lovey dovey always. If I get any kind of canon acknowledgement. Even a tried kiss that gets interrupted but it was really there. And then they get separated. I will cry hail to the heavens cause YES! Thats all I need. Its a confirmation that the subtext isn't just fanservice. You can throw them on the most ugly intense angst ridden ride after a reveal of that there is actually more than friendship between them. I will endure cause I know its out there for everyone to see. I don't think that is even too much to ask.
Sorry that got longish and rantish. and I think I even have the cusp of a meta in there (naomi vs Cas as leader of heaven) But hey I might soon unfollow my beautiful cowgirl for nine months! *hugs*
Don't be sorry! I hope the ranting helped you a little (I'm always happy to absorb rants - think of me as a virtual pillow... or something :p).
I hope you don't mind me posting this (just say if you do I'll take it down x), but a lot of what you say here matches my thinking re: the writers and their attitude towards Dean/Cas. I've highlighted the main parts. Because yes, I totally agree that it's not that they are trying to deliberately and consciously oppose Dean/Cas, it's just that Dean/Cas is this separate, less important thing to them. They like it okay... but it's not, and imo never has been, a driving force of the narrative or of Dean and Cas' character and character development. It's 'just' a subtext they acknowledge in the show and enjoy and respect, as a subtext (though I'm weary of that phrasing, because there's nothing 'just' about subtext imo). That's exactly what I've ALWAYS believed.
...it kind of feels like a lot of fans are only just catching up to my way of thinking here, having raised their expectations for the ship much much higher during S08, and I feel like I'm in this horrible 'I told you so' kind of position, when 'I told you so' is the last thing I want to be saying :(
But, like you, I still hope! Nothing that's been said so far has in any way, imo, done anything to sink Dean/Cas OR prevent it from becoming endgame. So... you never know :)
All the best for your time away from the show and the fandom, if you take it hon x This cowgirl will be here if/when you come back <3
