Remus didn’t particularly love Hogsmeade weekends during the winter months. The snow and the cold always made him reluctant to leave the warmth of the Common Room and the comfort of his book. It was Lily who had convinced him to go. She knew he had a weakness for chocolate and promised him a bar of Honeyduke’s best if he joined the group. He wasn’t thrilled. Besides, Sirius was going on a date with Marlene. Their first real date. It had been just three days ago that Sirius had crawled into Remus’ bed to tell him he had asked the girl to be his girlfriend after a common room party. He wasn’t sure why, but he had snapped at his friend, irritated by the subject for unknown reasons. Remus didn’t know why the idea bugged him so much – Sirius could date whoever he pleased.
“What should I wear?” Sirius asked aloud to the dorm.
James rolled his eyes. “Just wear that bloody leather jacket of yours. All the girls seem to love it.”
Peter huffed. “I ought to get one of those. Maybe then Emmeline will go out with me.”
“Good thinking, Pete,” James clapped him on the shoulder.
Sirius sighed in annoyance. “You guys are really no help at all, you know that.”
“I don’t even know why you care so much,” Remus interjected in a bitter tone before he could stop himself. “It’s too cold to go out without a winter coat, so no one’s even going to see what you’re wearing.”
Remus almost regretted talking to Sirius that way after seeing the boy’s slightly hurt expression. But he felt remorse for only a moment before Sirius shot back a reply.
“You’re just jealous,” the smug bastard accused.
“What?!” Remus asked incredulously.
“Yeah, you’re just jealous that I have a girl to date and you don’t.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Forget who you’re talking to? I’m not James. I couldn’t care less about having a date.”
Peter let out a nervous squeak, no doubt uncomfortable by his friend's seemingly confrontational interaction.
“I’d be offended if it wasn’t true,” James acknowledged as he stood from his bed. “Come on, lads. I’m sure the girls are waiting for us. Remus, Pete, go ahead,” he turned to Sirius. “Find your gloves, Padfoot; Moony was right, it’s bloody freezing.”
Remus had gotten used to the fact that James and Sirius were best friends above all else. However, it still irritated him when James seemed to politely shove him and Peter out of the room to have a private conversation with Sirius as if they weren’t all close. How come James thought he was the only one who could console Sirius?
Despite having many words to say to his bespectacled friend, Remus grabbed his winter apparel and walked out with Peter. When they got down to the Common Room, the girls were already there just as James had predicted.
Lily looked over when she heard their footsteps approaching. “Oh, there you are. Where are the other two?”
“Sirius is having an outfit dilemma,” Remus replied as he wrapped his red and gold scarf around his neck. “You owe me so much chocolate.”
Lily laughed, “Anything for you, Remus.”
Remus could hear Marlene giggling with Mary over Sirius being nervous for their date, and he wanted to rip his ears from his head. They hadn’t even left Gryffindor Tower yet, and Remus was already done with this whole affair. Besides, the moon was barely a week away, which never helped his mood.
Finally, after what felt like ages of mindless conversation, the two raven-haired boys’ presence was announced by James Potter’s loud voice. “Alright, Evans? You’re looking gorgeous on this fine morning. I am truly blessed by the sight of you.”
“Too bad I can’t say the same to you, Potter,” Lily quipped. “Careful, or I’ll hex your bollocks off.”
“Fiesty today, Evans?” James smirked as he ran a hand through his hair.
“Lovely,” Dorcas deadpanned. “On that note, let’s go. I’m dying to get to The Three Broomsticks.”
As the group walked the path to the small magic village, the cold nipped at Remus’ face. The snow from last week crunched under his feet while he walked next to James behind Sirius and Marlene, but in front of Peter and the other girls. James was going on about something Quidditch-related, but Remus was too distracted. How could he be expected to focus on anything but Sirius and Marlene’s linked hands swinging right in front of him?
It felt like Sirius was trying to flaunt it in all of their faces. The two of them had only been “going out” for barely three days. What did Marlene have to offer Sirius anyway? Sure, Remus liked her as much as the other girls. She was smart and nice, but had a rebellious streak to match Sirius. She was objectively pretty, he guessed, with her bleached blonde hair down her mid-back and light brown eyes to balance it. But she and Sirius were too much alike. They were always butting heads. Both hotheadded and stubborn – too confident for their own good. Sirius needed someone to complement him. A voice of reason. Someone who knew how to deal with his broody moods and recklessness. Someone who knew what to say when his family was getting to him. Marlene didn’t know Sirius like Remus did. Sirius needed someone like – someone like–
Remus watched as Sirius threw his head back and laughed at something Marlene had said. His hand was on the small of her back. He leaned in and placed a smiling kiss on her cheek.
Remus stopped dead in his tracks.
Oh.
Oh.
Shit.
Someone like me.
“Remus, are you alright?” Lily asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He had stopped right in front of her, and James turned to look at him from a few paces ahead.
“Yeah,” Remus cleared his throat, and he was sure his face was beginning to redden. He hoped his friends thought it was from the cold. “Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?”
“Okay,” Lily dragged out the word. “Are you sure?”
“Alright then.” She joined back up with the rest of the group as they walked the last stretch of the path. But Remus felt James' eyes on him still.
The rest of the Hogsmeade visit was an agonizing affair. Remus watched Sirius and Marlene disdainfully, and when he wasn’t glaring, his eyes found their way to his lap, thinking about how he could have possibly allowed himself to get into this situation. And of course, there was the piercing feeling of James’ eyes on him. That boy really needed to get a life. Remus knew that there would be a conversation with his not-so-covert friend in the not-too-distant future.
Remus had never been more glad when Lily and Dorcas suggested heading back to the castle. He had wanted to leave for hours, but couldn’t come up with a good enough excuse. He was finally starting to calm himself down and was ready to have a nice cup of tea in the common room, his book at the ready to escape this hellish reality. Unfortunately for Remus, he had to watch as Sirius and Marlene fumbled with excuses to stay longer, even though everyone else knew they were just going to find a quiet corner to snog in. Fuck this. Fuck this day.
Remus was silent the whole walk back to the castle, barely noticing the freezing wind blowing at his scarf. As soon as they made it to Gryffindor Tower, he went straight up to his dorm, alone at last. Finally.
Remus began to take off his hat and gloves, placing them back in his trunk. All he needed was a moment to reorganize his thoughts. This could be much, much worse.
Actually, it couldn’t. He was in love with his best friend. His best friend who was a boy. He was in love with his best friend, who was a boy, and he probably had been for years. And he didn’t know what to do.
You couldn’t pick a struggle, Remus scowled to himself. Bad enough to be a werewolf. You had to be a gay werewolf in love with your best friend.
Of course, his solitude couldn’t last forever, because naturally, James had decided he needed to be involved.
“So,” James said as he closed the door behind him, quickly casting a silencing charm. “You need to tell me something?”
Remus flashed his eyes at his friend, a slightly unsettling yellow that seemed to appear closer to the full moon. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, cut the shit, Remus.” James crossed the room so he was next to Remus. “I know something is wrong.”
“Everything is fine,” Remus busied himself with pretending to fix the covers on his bed.
“Uh huh, sure. So you weren’t glaring at Sirius and Marlene all afternoon?” James prodded. “And you weren’t ignoring the conversations, or staring into your lap, or making that face you make whenever we’re annoying you.”
“Leave it, James,” Remus scowled.
“Yep, that’s the one,” James frowned. “Is it Marlene? I know that you’re really only close with Lily, but they are all still our friends. Marlene’s nice and Sirius likes her –”
“I know that,” Remus snapped.
“Well then, what’s the issue?” James looked perplexed. “Are you jealous of Sirius? I know it’s hard sometimes to see other people in relationships, believe me, I know, but you can’t take it out on them. They’re our friends. You’ll get your turn eventually, there's no point in being jealous of him–”
“Don’t you get it, James?!” Remus was shouting as he turned to face James sharply. “I’m not jealous of Sirius. I don’t want a girlfriend.”
James looked a little frightened by Remus’ anger and took a step back. “Then what is it?”
Remus had definitely said too much. He hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. He didn’t want James to know yet. He didn’t want anyone to know. His breaths were heavy, and he felt his heart rate quicken. “Don’t you know when to leave well enough alone, James?”
Tears were threatening to fall from Remus’ eyes. Everything felt so wrong, so heavy. Like it was all caving in around him, he sank to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. James was there in an instant, crouched beside him with a hand on his shoulder.
“Remus,” James said in a comforting tone. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” Remus barely breathed out.
“Please, Remus, tell me what’s wrong.”
Remus closed his eyes and shook his head. “You’ll hate me.”
“Well, I doubt that.” James sat all the way down beside him. “You’ve trusted me with one secret; trust me with this.”
Remus swallowed. He took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m not jealous of Sirius. It’s someone else.”
James nodded. “Okay…if it’s not Sirius, then who?”
“James,” Remus croaked. He didn’t know if he could say it.
“Remus?”
He took another breath. “It’s Marlene.”
James looked at Remus confusedly. “Marlene? What do you mean?”
Remus gave James a pained look. “Connect the dots, James.”
There was silence for a moment before it seemed to click in his friend's brain. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” was all Remus could say, and he felt James’ arm wrap around his shoulders, pulling him close.
Remus is a lonely painter. Sirius is a shopkeeper who might just have a solution for that. Summertime on the Yorkshire coast, with crystals, and candle-smoke, and sunshine.
You know, normally, anything remotely new age-y gives me the ick. Not this though! This was lovely, just like everything else eyra has written.
tell me what you want, say it like an oath, by drowsyanddazed (3k)
Sirius tilts his head. “What? What do you want?” Gray eyes. Collarbones. Body heat.
“Nothing,” Remus' eyes shift to Sirius’ lips and then quickly back to smoky eyes, “it doesn’t matter.”
Don’t look at me, no I’m not drooling, nope. Urgh, this short little piece of writing is just so perfect. Pining Remus, hot tension, and a wonderful (wonderful!!) scene where that tension is…resolved.
Btw sorry loves for being a bit absent lately. I’m not leaving this blog (you’ll never get rid of me!!), I’ve just had a few shitty weeks which have left me with absolutely no energy for anything else.
(because we're making daily writing sharing a thing)
“I can’t believe I have to go back tomorrow.” Sirius spoke a little faster than normal, but Remus didn’t mind. “How is summer over?”
“You love going back each year.”
“Well, yeah.” Sirius turned to face him. “But I miss seeing you when I’m there.”
“I miss you too, Sirius.”
They looked at each other, small smiles on their faces, until they both turned to look at the sky.
"I found your star." Remus surprised himself by saying it, not really intending to share this secret, but it slipped out anyway.
"You–found my star?" There's something between awe and surprise in his voice.
"I did. I had to look it up in a book, and then I waited until December." I pretended that you were here with me then. Remus didn't say it.
"That's–"
"I know, it's really dumb. Sorry. I was just missing you and–"
"–really nice."
Remus stopped his anxious muttering. "Oh."
"Do you think of me often? When I'm gone?"
Remus couldn't look at Sirius, though he knew the boy had turned to face him again. Remus thought Sirius might just learn Too Much if he did. "All the time."
"Me too. I think about you too."
They were quiet after that, and when they said goodbye at the end of the night, Remus could still hear I think about you too playing on repeat in his head.
- vent fic, basically I feel like I'm annoying my partners so...heres Remus being ignored and feeling like a burden. Unsympathetic everyone but Remus and Janus. This will have remrom in it but not yet (technically they are dating now but they're on the rocks) -
"Roman? Am I annoying?" He waits for an answer but none comes. "Ro?" Nothing. He looks over at the red clad man and sees that, yes, he is awake...
He's just...ignoring Remus.
"Okay..." Remus leaves the room, hearing Roman sigh in relief once he's out. Tears fill his eyes but he blinks them away and puts on the same manic smile he always wears.
No one notices how he's on the brink of tears all day.
No one notices when he stops smiling.
No one notices when he starts hiding in his room instead.
"Roman...do you love me?" The question was lost in the air, no one around to hear it but Remus. Even so, he could hear the faint 'no' coming from his head where he locks away all his fears so he can pretend he has none.
So he hides for an hour. But that hour becomes two. And those two become twelve and soon it's a full day, then a week.
A week and a half has gone by and Remus is still in his bed. No ones noticed that he's been gone...and if they have, they've just ignored it.
They've ignored it and they've ignored him. He just stays in his room until hunger takes over and he leaves to the kitchen. He finds everyone there and his breath catches.
"Remus. You look like shit." Virgil commented. Remus puts on his grin, "thanks Virgin, I try my hardest."
He grabs his food and leaves, hearing the soft chatter get louder once they think he's out of earshot.
"Finally he's gone." Patton spoke.
"I miss when he stayed in his room." Virgil agreed.
"I agree. It was nice while it lasted, but I bet we'll be seeing him around again." Logan commented.
While those hurt...they were nothing compared to the heart break he felt when Roman finally spoke up.
"Yeah, he'd been really clingy and it was annoying...i hope he doesn't go back to that."
So he went back to his room. But this time he stayed.
Summary: Remus is writer who is absolutely sure that his writer’s block has gotten the best of him, when a friend who he hasn’t seen in months suddenly comes back into his life, changing it for the better.
Warnings: Heavy Kissing (Last paragraph or so), Self worth issues (Remus), and Writer’s block (Remus).
Word Count: 4300
AO3 LINK
There was a fact about writing that Remus had come to learn in his entire career as an author despite the fact that he had literally been doing it for years, and that was…
Writing was hard.
Even when it wasn’t, the writing was always hard.
Roman wasn’t even there and it still felt as impossible as when he was there. There were no distractions, no noises, and not a single thing was happening outside to stop him from writing. And yet…
The typewriter mocked him, just as the white and very blank page inside of it mocked him. The words were in his head, they were ready to come out onto the page so that he could finally finish this damned book and have it sent out to his editor. He could envision the sentences, he could see what his characters were going to say and what they were going to do, he knew how they were going to react to the kinds of things he was going to put them through, he even knew what the fucking ending was going to be.
But. Nothing. Came.
With the sound of what must have been a dying whale, Remus mournfully thumped his head against the table. As his hands that had been primed and ready to type flopped uselessly down to his side, feeling as they were weighed down by lead making him ready to be thrown into the ocean and drowned so that salt crystals could grow in his lungs as the fish nibbled at his dead body. Anything honestly felt better than the sheer uselessness that he was going through right now, at this point… he almost wished that Roman was back just so that he could have something to do as he tormented his brother.
Or even if he were to come back then…
Remus shook the thought right out of his head, as he pitifully stared at his typewriter with all of the sadness that a dog had when it’s food bowl was just mere inches out of reach.
He really did need to write something… anything really.
With a dreadful sigh, he picked his head back up and lifted his head, prepared to just word vomit at this point and force himself past the dreadful writer’s block that had claimed the past few weeks of his time. He just needed to start writing that was it, just to press his fingers against the keys and get going. He just had to-
Almost as soon as his finger pressed down on the key, a loud trilling ring echoed throughout his house as the doorbell to the front door went off. And with a miserable groan, Remus’ head collided with the desk once again as his train of thought was abruptly cut off leaving him scrambling for the words that he was about to type. Just for the doorbell to go off again and again and again.
“Are fucking-” Remus growled to himself as he shoved his chair back, so roughly that he was certain that he heard something crack with all of the force he had put behind it. “Really at this time?! Who on the fucking planet is going to ring my bell at this time?! I swear when I get my hands on them…”
Marching down the grand stairs, Remus made a beeline for the front door ready to yank it open and tell whoever was there just how he felt about their insistent ringing. Very colorfully too, there had been quite a few new words he had been wanting to try out, and now he had the perfect target in mind. Making it to the door, he wasted no time at all in yanking it open, his mouth open and ready for his select words.
Just for his brain to short wire itself, and stop him dead in his tracks.
“Logan…” Remus breathed out, his breath misting like fog in front of his mouth in the cold night air. He stood there frozen for a second at the sight of the other man who’s finger had been prepped to ring the bell yet again.
“Remus.” Just one warmly uttered little word, and it was just his name at that. And already Remus couldn’t help but for his gaze to sweep over Logan up and down.
His suit jacket was folded neatly as ever had been thrown over his arm leaving him with the crisp rolled-up sleeves of his deep blue button-up shirt and vest open to the world as he stood there as straight as could be. The smile that he gave Remus was small, but it spoke so many languages that he both could and couldn’t understand, as the softness in his eyes said it all. It had been months since he had seen the man in front of him, and just about every part of him both felt like it was the same and looked completely new all at once.
His black painted lips, that quirked into the wonderful little mischevious smirk that Remus knew from years of committing “crimes” together. The deep raven black hair with curls that made his soft face seem softer, curls that Remus would even be able to memorize in his sleep. And those eyes… oceanic blue, hidden behind the crystalline structure of his circular spectacles...
He looked as beautiful as ever.
Just like a deity, or perhaps a temptress that had just stepped out of the french paintings in Italy just to grace Remus with his gorgeous presence. He looked so... so enticing, like one wave of his hand could convince legions of demons to do his bidding, and more. That… and exceedingly cold. “You must be freezing,” He sputtered, hastily stepping away from his doorway as so to make room for Logan. “Come in! Come in!”
In mere minutes Logan awkwardly stood by the counter of his kitchen, his finger dipping into the empty teacup as he languidly spun it around on its saucer. To anyone who didn’t know Logan, he would have looked completely at ease, but Remus could see the tension building into his shoulders with each awkward silence that passed them by. Granted it had been months since the last they had seen each other, but talking… it had never been an issue for them. Remus was usually really adept at filling in any kind of silence with disgusting commentary on what he was going to write in the bloodiest goriest detail possible, while Logan would merely sit and listen only interjecting when he had something really cool to say.
“So,” Remus began, waiting for the water to boil so that he could actually do something. “Ho-”
“Remus did you like me?” Logan interrupted, cutting off Remus’ words dead in their tracts, “I mean like as in… the romantic sense, not the platonic. I know you like me platonically, otherwise, you’d try to be as gross as possible to get me out of your house like you did with Roman’s last conquest. I just…” Logan’s fingers drummed against the countertop, completely abandoning the teacup at this point. “I need to know.”
Every little bit of moisture in Remus’ mouth had utterly evaporated the longer that Logan had talked, and his heart that had felt perfectly fine before… now felt as if he was going through an Olympic running tournament with little to no training. In his pockets, his hands shook and trembled as if he had just stepped out in negative degree weather. Just about every bodily reaction that he could have, all told him that he should be panicking and denying everything all at once while leaving no room for Logan to question their stellar friendship.
Except…
Remus wasn’t a liar.
And not only that but… he couldn’t lie to Logan, he could never lie to Logan. Not only had they been friends for years, but… Logan had always trusted him with the truth. He had always trusted him to tell the truth and to be given the truth, should everyone around Logan lie… he was always the one that Logan went to in order to get things straight. He would know if Remus was lying, and to lie to Logan’s face about emotional matters more than anything would hurt Logan’s trust in him and damage everything more than a simple confession would.
It would hurt Logan if he lied.
“You say it like it’s past tense...” He cracked a smile before he swallowed thickly, attempting to garner more courage than he actually felt as he straightened his back. As if doing so would make it hurt less when he was rejected in the end. “I do still like you actually, quite a lot.” Remus began in the kind of tone that was meant to be defensive, “Since we were kids and pushed you in the mud, and instead of crying like everyone else you threw a mudball at me, and called me a word that I had to look up in the dictionary later. Ever since you threw that very same dictionary at Roman when he said that I couldn’t be a writer with how demented and messed up my imagination was. Ever since you sent me your first book thanking me. And ever since you left for your book signing trip months ago. Since a lot of times.”
By the end of his little rant, Remus felt almost breathless as he stood there in the middle of the kitchen with his longtime crush merely staring back at him with a look that almost felt like pity. It was the kind of look that almost made Remus bristle had it not been coming from Logan, he didn’t want pity though… he had never wanted pity from anyone in his entire life.
Moving slowly though, Logan approached Remus from his place on the other side of the kitchen, tentatively his fingers reached out curling gingerly around the cuff of Remus’ sleeve. It was a practiced movement if anything, but at the same time a scared one all the same.
The look on Logan’s face was unreadable, “Why didn’t you ever tell me? Why not confess?” He whispered, and for a moment it felt like it was just the two of them in a tiny little world, with nothing outside of the space of the kitchen.
Beside them, the kettle boiled and bubbled, just moments away from screaming.
Remus almost felt the same.
“Why not?” He asked back, a sarcastic lilt to his voice. “Who would ever want me?”
He had always been Roman’s less talented brother, the messed up one, the one that shouldn’t have been born first, and out of so much else… the one that shouldn’t have been born at all. It was no mistake what others thought about him, he had only met Logan through Roman’s friends and even then… to ask anything more from Logan… To ask for a relationship outside of their peaceful beautiful friendship, it would have been too much. He had already taken years from Logan when they had gone to school and college together, there was no way that he could ask for the other man’s entire life on top of all of that too…
Instead of saying any of that though, Remus merely shook his head turning back to the kettle as steam curled out of the spout with its scream.
“I want you.”
The kettle in Remus’ hand clattered loudly against the stovetop as he nearly dropped it, just to roughly set it down so that it didn’t send boiling water everywhere. For what felt like the first time in forever he had nothing, he had no witty comeback that Logan could laugh at, no sarcastic quip, and no smart-assed retort to give back to those three simple words that had left Logan’s mouth all too easily. His bones just felt jittery, like at any second they’d move independent from his muscular system and tear right out of his flesh and cause him immense pain and suffering.
This should have been a dream come true, and for whatever reason… he was stalling.
Remus licked his lips, his mouth more dry than ever. “Why… why don’t we move this to my office?” He instead offered, their cups now full of tea and ready to be drunk.
After this, he’d definitely need some spiked tea, or maybe just straight down the whole thing of rum to ease him through the night.
With Logan’s nod, they both carried their respective cups into the next room.
“So…” Remus awkwardly twiddled his thumbs as he sat there in front of Logan after the other man had been sitting for a while, both of them had refused to speak for a while as they sipped at the warm liquid. Both of them complete and utter disasters. “How’s the tea?”
Of course, it would be good, he had never forgotten how to make Logan’s favorite cup of tea. It was forever imprinted into his mind, just as the sight of Logan’s face was forever there too. That wasn’t exactly the kind of thing that one forgot when they had been in love for years. The clattering of the teacup against the saucer answered him well enough, as the other man gently set the empty cup down onto his desk, making sure to avoid the paperwork that littered Remus’ messy desk.
Remus’s gaze followed Logan’s delicate fingers as the other pushed a thick lock of curly black hair out of his soft-sided face. Instinctively Remus clutched his own hand tighter, forcing himself not to reach over and tuck that same piece of hair out of Logan’s way when it flopped right back against the other’s cheek just as it had been doing before. It was such a strange temptation to have, given that Logan was finally here in the flesh sitting right there before him. Beautiful and untouchable, just as he had always been towards everyone in his life.
“Remus,” Logan began as he crossed his legs, “Let me get straight to the point before your idiotic brother returns…”
And just like that the warmth that had burned in his chest since Logan had rung his doorbell, all but fizzled out like it had been doused by a bucket full of cold water. While it was true that Logan always had a rather strict way of speaking, and just about everything that he said was serious, but the fact that he wanted this out before his brother could return... it filled Remus with a strange kind of fear that took ahold of his lungs and refused to let him breathe in or out. Even swallowing didn’t do him any favors, as the lump in his throat choked him like a fishbone that he had forgotten to remove from his dinner.
“Yes?”
Somehow… somehow he managed to get that one word out, and how he managed it he had no idea.
Was something wrong? Had Logan come all of this way to tell him some bad news? Roman was always rather dramatic, so the only reason that Logan wouldn’t want him around was if it was something bad. Was it something bad? Was he sick? Was he hurt? Was… Was he dying?
Logan cleared his throat as he readjusted himself on the chair that Remus had pulled around his desk for him. He looked uncomfortable.
Oh gods from above, he was dying.
“Remus,” Logan began again, but not before reaching forward gingerly laying his hand on top of the other man’s. For a split second their fingers almost interlocked as Logan’s curled around his, his hand was… it was warm. Warm in the kind of way he had imagined that it would be, to offset Logan’s icy demeanor. “I would like to… should you be alright with it… I would like to write a book with you.”
Everything that had been running amok in Remus’ head came to a screeching halt, and every thought that had been running through Remus’ head about not clutching Logan’s hand and the other dying went completely out of the window.
Now he grasped the other man’s hand, their fingers fitting neatly against one another’s, and for a moment he was rewarded with a tiny smile from the other man.
“You.” Remus pointed with his other hand to Logan, garnering a simple nod from the other. “And… and me?” He gasped pointing back to himself, nearly becoming nothing more than a puddle on the floor at Logan’s nearly invisible but clearly affectionate look as he nodded again giving his hand another squeeze. “You and me?” He asked again, just to clarify that this somehow wasn’t a dream and that he hadn’t died and gone straight to heaven.
“You and I.” Logan smoothly answered and also corrected, as he leaned in his half-lidded eyes gazing back at Remus with a look that felt like a promise.
If it was possible, Remus would have ascended right then and there. He would have fallen into Logan’s arms, and died a very VERY happy man just from those three words alone. But the constant grip on his hand kept him very firmly in the present, and very much away from Death’s door and in turn the afterlife as well.
He couldn’t believe it, he honestly and truly couldn’t believe it.
"You... Actually want to work with me?" Remus incredulously asked his eyebrows rising with each second. Out of everyone, he would have thought that Logan of all people would have been the very last person on earth who would ever want to collaborate with him for a book of all things. Everyone knew what Remus’ books were like. All gore, blood, death, and murder. There wasn’t a happy ending in sight, and just about everyone who had read his books did so with either disgust, or the scientific curiosity of his previous psychiatrist had before he had recommended him to another doctor.
His imagination scared people, despite the tiny following of horror enthusiasts that claimed to love him.
People much rather preferred Roman’s work. What with all of its fanciful happy endings, faeries, dragons, and princes saving other princes from certain doom.
He had read one of Roman’s books before, and he’d had to stop himself from throwing up at the sheer number of lovey-dovey grossness of it all. There was just so much happiness to be found in Roman’s world of creativity, with darker turns that could have been taken, utterly abandoned for the sake of giving every single one of his stories a pure and happy ending. Then again… there was a reason why Roman had never asked him to proofread any of his books, or even to tell his brother what he thought of them.
Remus’ opinion very much wasn’t his type.
He knew Logan’s type though, just as well as he knew the back of his hand. The other writer was as strict as could be and straight-laced despite being very much…
Gay as hell.
Nevertheless, his original protests didn’t stop the smile that curled onto Logan's lips before a smooth chuckle left the other man just to be hidden by his hands. As if displaying such a reaction was the most hideous to the other man in the highest degree. Completely unaware of just how it made Remus’ internal organ’s squish gleefully around inside of him, instead of the normal butterflies that ordinary people claimed to have when their crush so much as smiled in their direction.
And Logan had not only smiled at him, but had laughed too.
Logan Briller.
A man of so many mysteries and inquiries that had left hundreds of less fortunate authors just like Remus willing to rip apart anyone just for a chance to be in the same room as him. Let alone receive a book deal like this… well, it was practically unheard of. Nobody… nobody had ever gotten Logan Briller to agree to a collaborative deal on a book. Never.
Never ever.
Remus would especially know, especially given that his brother would never shut up about it given how many times Logan had denied him. Unlike Roman, he had known that he didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever getting Logan to professionally work with him. Logan had turned down some of the best authors in the country, authors who in their own merit were worth hundreds more than Remus could ever hope to accomplish in one lifetime. There were some times where Remus couldn’t even believe the people that had asked, and the people that hadn’t succeeded.
But then again… none of them had ever known Logan like Remus did…
"Remus, it's fairly simple.” A gentle touch on his cheek dragged him right out of his musings. “I know that you can see it too, Remus..." The man in question could feel his cheeks warming like the top of a scummy pond during the start of a new summer’s day, as Logan leaned in his arms caging him inside of the chair he had been seated in. The other's warm breath rolling over his lips they were so close, he could smell Logan’s favorite minty tea. "You write the murder... And I..."
If it was even possible those his gorgeous black painted lips that gleamed exquisitely in the lighting of his office were even closer than before, he could feel them just barely brushing against his own before pulling away before Remus could get a good feel of them. He was almost certain that the other man was purposefully being a tease, the second time he did it. That same quirky smile on his lips that made Remus both want to seize his hips so that he couldn’t move, and… utterly swoon under the other male’s gaze.
If he were to trip then…
Remus mentally shook himself as he stared back at the other writer, he was so close that Remus could see the exact shade of Logan's deep blue eyes that ran with undercurrents of icy blue. It was like staring into crystals they were so blue and beautiful, he could imagine them already… men and women alike bewitched by gorgeous sapphires in order to do the most heinous crimes against man. They’d rip out other people’s eyes, trying to find the exact shade of the illusive man that they desperately aimed for, just to fall flat each and every time.
"And I,” Logan began, making Remus’ eyes dart down to his lips, “Will write the mystery.” Logan swallowed, for a split second the smooth bobbing of his adam’s apple had Remus’ attention, but only for a moment as that warm flush filled him up again. “Fair?"
There was no hesitation as Remus' hands slid around Logan's back, his fingers wrinkling that perfectly buttoned vest as he dug his fingers into Logan’s hips his fate utterly sealed as he firmly pressing the man solidly against his chest. For years he had wanted this, he had wanted Logan’s attention. After watching him with so many of his lovers that were never Remus, he had been content to watch and never ask. To just be Logan’s friend when it had turned out that those people were only using the writer to gain more publicity and favor. He had been content to cherish and comfort the other, while mentally hunting down those who had harmed his heart in such an under the skin fashion.
But now… here and now.
He could feel Logan's heart sporadically thumping in tandem against his own.
It betrayed how Logan was really feeling under all of that confidence he had garnered over the years, it told him just how Remus’ close proximity made his heart jump, and just how the touch of his hands had made the other practically melt. Had it not been for that reaction alone, Remus was sure that Logan would have been tugging at his strings like the puppeteer to a flesh puppet. But it was there, the dainty flush dusting over the tops of Logan’s cheeks and ears. The way that the other man’s pupils had dilated when he had pulled him in close, and the way that his breathing had shuddered so obviously.
There was no denying it.
"Fair." He breathed back.
And like sealing a deal with the devil, their lips collided in a messy meeting of pure logic and utter chaos. Remus never wanted to let him go, as Logan practically folded into his lap, straddling the other writer as his fingers dug into his hair with the passion of something that had been restrained for years. Remus bit at Logan’s lip, tasting the mint tea from the teacup that had rested against those perfect lips just moments ago. He had been jealous of that cup, but right now… he savored every bite he could get as he swallowed the sounds that bubbled up in Logan’s throat.
Tomorrow they would need to work out the details of their contract. But tonight…
“Remus… Remus. Remus. Remus…” Logan practically chanted against the other man’s lips, his eyes fluttering shut as he felt the other’s hand languidly stroking its way down his back like one would a fancy feline. His body moved with Remus’ touch, as if this was something that neither of them had to practice for.
