Warning: some swearing, alcohol, mention of sex, a bit of teasing.
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Masterlist
A few months ago, you and nine other recruits received a phone call saying to be at the training facilities first time in the morning. Once you got there, you were told that you would be receiving extra training, long hours and double effort. Whenever you asked why, they just said it was classified.
After two months of training ten hours per day, seven days a week, being put through several trials and tests, you were called to the office of Maria Hill –the head of all the recruitment process-. To your surprise, she wasn’t alone when you got there: Nick Fury was there.
You had never met him in person, although you had heard many stories about him. And his presence was as intimidating as you imagined. Or even more. He had a deep voice that shook to your core, a way of talking that let you know he was someone not to mess with, he owned S.H.I.E.L.D and he knew it.
“Agent (Y/L/N)”, Hill started as soon as you took a seat after recovering from the surprise of finding Nick Fury in the room. “Let me introduce you to Nicholas Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.”
“Yeah, I know who… he is”, you said with a small smile. There was no one around the facility who didn’t know who this man was. Maria Hill smiled too.
“Nice to meet you, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said. “I have been following your training for the last two months quite closely.”
Your felt your mouth go dry. He had been following your training?
“And I have to say it is quite impressive”, he added. He took a tablet from Hill’s desk and swiped the screen a couple of times. “When it comes to strategy there’s no one who can beat you, you’re strong, fast, your combat skills could be a match for Black Widow’s… definitely impressive.”
“Thank you, sir”, was all you could say. You knew you were good, but you never thought you would be good enough to hear it from Nick Fury himself. He was a legend.
“As you know, these last two months we have been testing you on a daily basis”, Hill said and you nodded. Of course you knew. You could feel it in every bone and muscle in your body. “What you don’t know is why.”
“And I guess you’re going to tell me?” You asked, looking at the two of them.
Fury put the tablet back on the desk without taking his eye off you. You would be lying if you said he didn’t make you nervous, but you had the feeling that looking away wouldn’t help you there, so you were determined to hold his eye. After a few minutes, you thought you could see a hint of smile on Fury’s lips, but you probably just imagined it.
“The Avengers have requested a new member for their team”, he simply said.
If you had been drinking something, you would have choked on it or spitted out for sure. Out of all the things you thought this meeting was about, the last thing you expected was something like this.
“The Avengers?” You asked. “As in… Captain America, Black Widow and Iron Man?”
“Are there any other Avengers that we don’t know of?” Fury asked with a teasing tone.
“Fair enough”, you mumbled.
“We chose 10 candidates and we have been putting you through tests and trials without telling you why”, Hill said now taking the tablet and showing you some graphics. “All of you started off with enthusiasm, showing the best results you had got since you got recruited. However, as the weeks passed, most of your colleagues’ performance started to deteriorate.”
“We had meetings with them”, Fury said. “We asked if there was something wrong, why this change when they had proven to be among the best of their class. They said that they were tired. That they didn’t know what was going on, what was the point of all this suffering.”
“I never got any meeting”, you said.
“Because your performance only got better”, Hill said, showing you a graphic with your name on it. “You have been the only one who, despite not having a purpose, a goal, not knowing what was going on, kept on working as hard as you did on the first day.”
“And that, Agent (Y/L/N)”, Fury said, “is exactly what we need. Someone who won’t fail, who won’t slow down, who will be there every day no matter what, with the same spirit as the first day. However, as much as we thought you are the perfect candidate, we are not the ones who have the final say.”
“Then?” You asked confused.
“We sent all of your files to The Avengers, with all the progress of the last two months. And they have made a decision. They want you, Agent (Y/L/N).”
A week later you packed all of your belongings in a suitcase and left the S.H.I.E.L.D HQ in a black SUV to move into The Avengers Headquarters in Upstate New York. Their welcome had been incredible. Since the very first moment you walked in the residential quarters of the huge compound, you were warmly welcomed by the team.
It took you a time to get used to your new life. You still had to train every day and soon you found out that it was a harder training than the one you did as a simple recruit. Obviously, they didn’t hold their punches. At first, you ended up at the infirmary most of the days, but eventually you started getting stronger and getting used to this new way of fighting. There was less theory and more instinct. And, soon enough, you started going on missions.
At first, they would be recon missions, nothing major. However, in a few months you proved yourself to be able to do more. You would never forget your first mission with Steve, Tony, Bucky and Natasha. It was the most exciting, exhausting and hard day of your life and, despite coming back injured, everyone kept on telling you how amazed they were by you, your work and your skills.
They took care of you, visited you every day until you got better, helped with your recovery and to get back on your feet in no time. You had found a family in them and it looked like they saw you as one of them now.
“You know what day is it tomorrow?” You asked when you walked into the kitchen.
You had just finished your training and had walked into the kitchen to have a smoothie. As usual, since you had the same training hours scheduled, Bucky was there as well.
Since the beginning, you had started training with Bucky as your mentor. You didn’t really fight against him, since he could knock you out without even trying, but he was there to observe and correct, give you advice, put more weight on your weights and push your limits.
When you first started training with him, he wouldn’t talk much. But, eventually, he started opening up and you gladly discovered that underneath all that sulking attitude was a really funny, easy going, teasing and loving kind of guy.
You spent so much time together that soon you found yourself looking around for him every time you walked into a room, sitting in front of him in every meal, next to him every time you would watch a movie, spending hours in his room just talking or playing videogames. You just couldn’t picture your life without him in it anymore.
“Saturday?” He said, throwing a bottle of water at you, which you caught without problem.
“Something else?” You asked, unscrewing the cap. Bucky thought for a moment and shook his head. “Really? I should be offended. A year ago, your life changed.”
“Did it?” He asked, a smirk forming on his lips. You narrowed your eyes and threw the cap of the bottle at him. He laughed and dodged it. “I know, I know. It will be a year since the most annoying person in the world walked through those doors with that lost puppy look on her face.”
“I wasn’t lost!” You exclaimed.
“So you’re annoying?” He teased.
“Not as much as you are”, you said and stuck your tongue out. “Maybe we should celebrate.”
“Why?”
“When was the last time someone put up with you for so long?” This time, he was the one narrowing his eyes at you, which made you laugh. “But seriously, it doesn’t have to be a party. But we could have a drink all together or something.”
“Ask Tony”, Bucky said. “He will organise anything in the next 45 minutes.”
“Good point”, you said nodding your head. “I’ll talk to him.”
You were about to walk out of the kitchen, fully intending to talk to Tony as soon as possible, when Bucky called your name. You turned around to find him walking over you.
“Yes?” You asked.
Once he was standing in front of you, he sighed and moved some hair that had flown out of your ponytail and put it behind your ear. He caressed your cheek and looked into your eyes, making your heart beat louder and faster. You took a deep breath, trying not to look down at his lips.
“A year ago, I met the most important person in my life”, he said. “She’s strong, funny, annoying as hell and incredibly oblivious. But I wouldn’t change her for anything.”
He leaned in and kissed your cheek softly before winking an eye at you and walking out of the kitchen, leaving you flustered, confused and on the edge of fainting.
***
Just like Bucky had said, as soon as you said to Tony that you would like to have a little celebration, he took out his phone and started organising a little party. You made it clear that you didn’t want or need anything big, but once Tony started organising a party there was no way of knowing the size of it until you were in it.
“I thought you didn’t want anything big”, Bucky said when you stepped into the main living room of the residential quarters the following evening.
Looking around, you barely knew anyone. You had no idea how Tony had managed to pull this out in such short notice. There was people everywhere, food, alcohol music and banners everywhere saying ‘Happy Avengesary (Y/N)’. It was incredible.
“This is what happens when you leave Tony in charge”, Steve, who walked in after you two, said.
“I’m not complaining”, Natasha said with a huge smile as she looked around. “See you later guys.”
“Where is she going?” You asked, looking at her as she got lost in the crowd.
“She has seen that IT guy she likes”, Steve said with a chuckle.
“I say we make the best out of this and get a drink”, Sam said.
“And that’s the most intelligent idea I have heard so far”, you said and took Sam’s hand to follow him through the crowd.
The bartenders that Tony had hired knew exactly who you were and the reason you were having this celebration. So the moment they saw you, they made sure you had a drink in your hand without even asking for it. It looked like Tony had told them what you liked.
The next couple of hours went by in a blur. Despite not knowing most of the people in the party, it was obvious that they knew who you were and many kept on stopping you to congratulate you on the work you had been doing the past year or just to take a photo with you. Definitely, that was something you would never get used to: being a public figure.
When you finally managed to sit down on the couch, next to Bucky, you didn’t even know how many hands you had shaken, how many photos you had taken and how many hugs you had given. But your mind was buzzing.
“How you doing, superstar?” Bucky smiled when you let yourself fall on the couch.
“Exhausted”, you admitted.
“It will wear off, don’t worry”, Sam said, patting your shoulder. “Once they get used to you, they won’t pay much attention.”
“Unless you’re Captain America or Thor, of course”, Clint winked.
“Shut up”, Steve rolled his eyes.
“It took us an hour to get some milk from the grocery store”, Clint said. “An hour because people kept on asking Steve for photos and autographs.”
“One would think that after a century, no one would be impressed by Captain America right?” Sam laughed.
“It’s not Captain America”, you said. “It’s… you.”
“What?” Steve asked confused, which made you laugh.
“Are you really that oblivious?” Wanda laughed as well.
“You’re a specimen, man”, Sam winked playfully, making you all laugh.
“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that”, Steve said as you could all see him blushing.
“Oh, trust me. It is”, you said. “Everyone has a crush on Captain America”, you added.
“Do you?” Bucky asked, his arm casually over the back of the couch and your shoulders.
“Don’t you?” You asked back with a laugh.
“I saw him putting newspaper in his shoes to look taller”, Bucky shrugged. “It’s kind of a turn off.”
“So that means that there is a turn on?” Clint asked wiggling his eyebrows.
“There’s always at least one turn on”, you smirked.
“Oh really?” Bucky smirked. “What turns you on, (Y/L/N)?”
“Right back at you, Barnes”, you said, looking at him with a playful smile.
“Okay, this just gave me an idea!” Sam said.
You forced yourself to look away from Bucky, whose eyes were burning through yours. You had felt that electricity running between you two many times before, but you had never felt the heat you felt at the moment. So you needed to focus on something else beside the warmth of his body next to yours.
“Please, enlighten us”, Natasha said.
“What about an old good game of Truth or Dare?” He suggested. You laughed out loud, just like Wanda and Natasha.
“Are we 16 now?” Steve said, although he didn’t look like he rejected the idea completely.
“Afraid of airing your dirty laundry, Rogers?” Clint asked.
“I have no dirty laundry to air”, the alluded said with an innocent smile.
“Yeah right”, Natasha laughed. “Okay, let’s do this”, she said.
“Seriously?” You asked.
“Why not?” Natasha shrugged. “It’s always fun to get to know each other in different ways”, she winked.
You sighed and shrugged. It looked like you didn’t have a choice. As soon as you all agreed, Sam asked a waiter to bring a couple of bottles of tequila, shot glasses for everyone and an empty bottle. In addition, Bucky he asked for a bottle of the Asgardian liquor Steve and Bucky used to drink in these situations.
“It’s no fun if two of us can’t get drunk”, he explained once they brought the small bottle and everything was settled.
“Fair enough”, you laughed. “Okay, who goes first?” You asked.
“You’re the honouree, so…” Sam said.
“Okay”, you laughed and spun the bottle that stopped pointing at Sam, who smiled widely at you. “Truth or dare?”
“Let’s start with a truth”, Sam said.
“Have you ever practised kissing in a mirror?” You smiled.
“First, that’s a lame question. Second… yes”, he admitted, making you all laugh. “I was 10, okay? And I was nervous about a potential first kiss”, he shrugged.
“That’s cute”, you admitted still laughing.
“Okay, here we go”, Sam spun the bottle and this time it landed on Bucky.
“Truth”, Bucky quickly said.
“Mmm…” Sam smirked after looking at you for a brief second. “Would you make out with someone in this group?”
Bucky looked at Sam like he wanted to kill him and you felt him tense up beside you. You looked up to him although his eyes were fixed on Sam, whose smiled only grew bigger.
“You can always drink. Although that will give us half an answer”, Sam shrugged.
“I would”, Bucky finally said. You raised both eyebrows and looked up again, surprised.
“With who?” You asked.
“That’s not part of the question, doll”, Bucky winked before spinning the bottle, which landed on Natasha. Yet, you didn’t stop thinking about it.
“Dare, of course”, she shrugged.
“I dare you to go to that IT guy and ask him out”, Bucky smiled.
“You know I don’t ask out”, Natasha said.
“Is Black Widow backing off a dare?” Clint smiled.
Natasha narrowed her eyes, her pride obviously taken the best of her. Immediately, she got up and you all looked at her while she walked up to the IT guy. It was a quick conversation and, by the end of it, the guy looked like was about to marry her while she came back with her face as red as her hair.
“I’ll get back at you, Barnes”, she said, spinning the bottle.
There were all kind of dares and questions. The more you drank, the juicier they got without even realising it. At some point, Steve was playing without his shirt –to the delight of many of the guests-, Clint was speaking only with the vowel E, Wanda was wearing Natasha’s clothes and viceversa and you were on your pyjamas.
“Okay, let’s go”, Natasha said when it was her turn to spin the bottle after reading out loud the last text she had sent –Rated X-. “Finally!” She said when it landed on Bucky. “Barnes?”
All along, every time it was Bucky’s turn, there had been numerous hints of him liking someone, someone he would sleep with, his crush, but no name had come out of his mouth. You didn’t even know Bucky liked someone, which was strange since you spent so much time together, and to say you were curious was a misunderstanding.
“Truth”, he said.
“Playing it safe, huh?” Natasha smiled.
“You’re a dangerous woman, Romanoff”, Bucky said, his fingers brushing your shoulder absently.
“Fine. Have it your way”, she said. “Is (Y/N) the one you’ve been talking about all along? The one you would make out with, sleep with, have a crush on?”
Bucky’s whole body tensed up, just like yours, with that question. It was obvious she had been saving it for quite a long time and it looked like everyone was waiting for someone to drop the bomb. They all looked at Bucky smiling a little, as if they knew something you ignored, waiting.
“Damn you, Natasha”, Bucky finally chuckled.
“Would you prefer a dare?” She smiled widely.
“I don’t trust your dares”, Bucky said.
“Then… answer or drink. Although… drinking would be an answer itself”, she innocently shrugged and winked an eye at him.
You saw Bucky biting his lower lip without looking at you, his eyes fixed on Nat, as he was deliberately trying not to look at you. Your heart was pounding in your ears and you swore you would explode if he didn’t say something soon.
“Yes”, he finally said, taking your breath away. “She is”
And he spun the bottle.
***
The game was finished in no time after that moment. Although you didn’t pay any attention to it anymore. All you could do was look at Bucky, waiting for him to look at you and explain what he had just said. However, all he did was smirking whenever he felt his eyes on you.
“Okay, come here”, he said once everyone had scattered around.
He took your hand and took you through the crowd. You didn’t know where he would take you until he scanned his finger print on the door that lead to Tony’s office. He let you walked in first and looked around to make sure no one was looking before closing the door.
“What was that?” You finally asked after a few moments.
“Do I really need to explain?” He smiled, getting closer to you which only made you nervous.
“I think? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” You asked.
“When would I say anything? When I was kicking your ass during training?” He asked.
“You don’t kick my ass”, you said. “We never even fight against each other because you’re too afraid of me kicking your ass”, you added, crossing your arms.
“You’re so damn blind”, he laughed shaking his head. “I don’t fight you because I would never forgive myself if I ever hurt you. Even if it happened during training.”
You blinked a few times and looked away, trying so hard not to blush and failing completely. He was now so close that you could even feel his breath on you. It wasn’t the first time he was this close, but it was the first time it made you so nervous.
“That’s just another way of saying it”, you mumbled.
Bucky placed his index finger on your chin to make you look up at him and to his eyes before rubbing your cheek softly. His eyes moved down to your lips, just like yours to his, just in time to see him biting his bottom lip. Your breath got caught in your throat and an urgent need to kiss him overcame you.
“You drive me insane in every possible way, (Y/L/N)”, he said leaning in. You closed your eyes instinctively but his kiss never came. “But you’re not ready for it yet.”
You opened your eyes to see him slowly walking backwards, with a smirk on his face.
“What…? What are you doing?” You asked breathless.
“I could kiss you right now and make you realise that you feel the same way about me”, he said, a hand on the doorknob. “But I have decided that, if I have waited a year, I can wait a few more days and make you want it, drive you crazy just like you do with me.”
“Don’t walk away, James. Don’t you dare”, you said.
“See you later, doll”, he said.
Before you could even take a step forward, he opened the door and walked out the office, leaving you with your mouth open and your brain completely melted.
What the hell had just happened?
You had to take some time before you went back out to the party. Your heart had never beat like this. It felt like it would jump out of your chest at any given time and getting it back to ‘normal’ wasn’t easy.
When you finally made your way back out, you spotted Bucky at the bar, talking to Steve. When he saw you, his eyes were on you for a moment, while his lips formed a smug smirk, and then looked back at his friend to continue the conversation. All you wanted to do was go and punch him in that perfect face to kiss him afterwards. Or maybe kiss him first and punch later. You were confused.
The rest of the night you were completely unfocused. It felt like you couldn’t hold a single conversation, like you were zooming in and out all the time, looking around for Bucky and imagining his lips, hands, body on yours. In the end, you decided to leave the party earlier than expected. It wasn’t like anyone would notice, since most of the guests were too drunk to pay any more attention to you.
Once in your room and in your pyjamas –an oversize t-shirt and your underwear-, you laid on your bed and looked at the ceiling, thinking about what the hell had happened and trying to process how you felt about it.
It would be a huge lie to say that you didn’t have feelings for Bucky. You knew they had always been there, but you had always considered them platonic. He was one of the most attractive men you ever met and he was also kind, funny, witty, smart and incredibly thoughtful. You would have never thought he felt the same way about you. You thought all those times he flirted with you, it was just a game to him. Maybe you had been wrong.
You didn’t even know when you had fallen asleep, but when you opened your eyes, you heard the rain against the huge window of your room. You sighed and rubbed your eyes, your mind immediately racing as memories from last night flooded your head. Damn James Buchanan Barnes.
When you heard the buzzing of your phone, you sighed and picked it up from the bedside table to find a text message from the man himself.
“Training in 10 minutes”, the text said. He had to be kidding you. It was Sunday.
And did he really think he could just act like nothing?
“Sorry. As someone said to me last night: I’m not ready yet”, you texted back.
He read the text immediately, but it took him a little while to reply.
“If you’re not in the training room in 10 minutes, I’ll drag you there myself”, you shivered, knowing he fully intended to act on his threat. But you weren’t going to just do as he told you.
“Didn’t you say I drive you insane? Then good luck, babe”, you texted, smirking to yourself as you pictured the look on his face.
You knew what was going to happen. Maybe you were pushing him a bit, but you weren’t going to let him dictate what to do or when to get up. Especially after how flustered and frustrated he had left you the previous night.
Yes, you were dying to kiss him. That was all you could think about since last night. But, unless you were mistaken, he wanted that kiss as much as you did and you were going to get it, even if you had to drive him insane.
At first, you thought he would go to your room immediately, but it looked like he really waited those 10 minutes in case you showed up. Or maybe he was just waiting outside of your room, because exactly 11 minutes later, there was a knock on your room. You smiled to yourself and stretched out still in bed, but didn’t move.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please tell him that I am not training today?” You said to the A.I.
“You know I can hear you, right?” You heard Bucky’s voice on the other side of the room.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you please ask Tony to make the rooms soundproof? That would be extremely useful for certain people”, you said.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y, open (Y/N)’s door, please”, Bucky said.
“I’m sorry. I can’t. Each room has its own personal protocols and can only be lifted with the permission of said owner”, the A.I said, which made you smile.
“Too bad, soldier”, you said.
“You know I can just kick him in, right?”
You narrowed your eyes, looking at the ceiling. You knew he could, but did you want to push him until that point? It could be fun, but you didn’t want to deal with Tony afterwards. You knew how much he hated when doors got kicked in –something that happened surprisingly often in the compound-.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y, unlock the door, please”, you finally said.
The A.I. obeyed and unlocked the door. In a second, Bucky walked in and closed behind him. You looked at him from the bed, still not moving, and smiled. He was wearing his usual training gear –black sweatpants and a black t-shirt- and was looking at you with an eyebrow raised, waiting.
“Do you need anything?” You asked.
“You were supposed to be in the gym 5 minutes ago”, he said with his arms crossed.
“Yeah, well…” you stretched out again, making sure your t-shirt went up a few inches, enough to let him see your underwear and belly. “I’m kind of having a lazy day”, you said with a smile as you saw his eyes on your exposed skin.
“I know what you’re doing”, he said. You raised both eyebrows.
“And what is it?” You asked innocently.
“Pushing me”, he said.
“Don’t be so egocentric, Barnes”, you said. “Not everything is around you.”
“Oh really?” He said.
Slowly, he walked around the bed, taking a seat just next to you. You got nervous when he leaned in, placing one hand around you to support himself as he got closer. You looked at his lips and then his eyes, which hide the smile he forced himself not to show.
“Tell me you haven’t been thinking about kissing me since last night”, he said in a low voice.
“I…” you mumbled, your eyes moving down to his lips, which finally curved up into a small smile. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Are you going to tell me that if I kissed you right now…” he said, almost brushing your lips with his, “you wouldn’t melt against me?”
You took a deep breath through your nose, trying to control your heart rate, which felt close to impossible. All about him was overwhelming and you had no idea how to manage his closeness. You just wanted to grab him by the neck and kiss him. However, it looked as if he was reading your mind. Just when you were about to move your hands, he moved his and pinned your wrists against the bed.
“Gym. 5 minutes”, he whispered so close that you thought you would die if he didn’t kiss you.
Then, he just let go, got up and walked to the door. You couldn’t believe this was the second time in less than twelve hours that he was going to leave you like this. You looked at the door to see him smirking before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him.
“Fuck!” You exclaimed, punching the mattress.
Five minutes later, you walked through the doors of the gym, still sulking and flustered. You had been quickly to put some leggings and a training top. If Bucky wasn’t going to give in or let you kiss him, you needed some other way to let your frustration out. Fighting.
“Maybe today we can try something different”, you said to Bucky, acting as if nothing had happened, as if your mind wasn’t full of imaged of him kissing your whole body.
“Oh yeah? What is it?” Bucky asked while he adjusted the punching bag.
“Why don’t we fight?” You asked. Bucky laughed quietly and shook his head. “What?”
“Have you warmed up?” He asked.
“I’m warm enough, thank you” you said making him smile. Anyway, you started stretching since you didn’t want to pull any muscle or cause any injury. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“You know I’m not going to fight you, doll”, he said, taking the bandages from the floor. “I could hurt you.”
Your eyes went to his hand as he started wrapping the bandages around it, wrapping it tightly. You had always loved watching that routine. There was something about the way he moved his hands, how he wrapped the bandages around them that was hypnotizing.
“You won’t”, you said, coming out of your little trance.
“How do you know it?” He asked.
“Because I trust you”, you shrugged. He looked at you for a moment and smiled.
“You just want an excuse to hit me because you’re frustrated”, he said.
“That’s just a bonus”, you shrugged and took the other pair of bandages from the floor when you finished stretching. “I really think it would be helpful to fight against an actual person and not just a bag.”
“You have fought against Natasha, Wanda, Peter, Scott and Clint many times”, he said.
You sighed while you wrapped the bandage around your left hand. You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to change his mind. It wasn’t the first time you had this conversation and you understood his fear of hurting you, but you really wanted to punch him. Maybe if you caught him by surprise?
When you finished wrapping your hands, you looked at him. He was checking his own bandages and looked kind of focused on it. Without even taking a minute to consider your next move, you quickly took a step forward and threw your leg up to his stomach. To your surprise, your kick caught him completely off guard. Unfortunately, you weren’t strong enough to make him fall, but he took a few steps back with a hand against his stomach.
“What was that?” He asked with an amused smile.
“If you don’t want to fight me, okay”, you shrugged. “I’ll fight you.”
“Stop before you get hurt”, he said.
“Stop patronising me”, you said through gritted teeth.
Quickly, you launched against him, but he just took your arm before it came in contact with him and pushed you aside as if you were a mundane annoying fly. You groaned to yourself and turned to look at him. He looked at you smiling, which only infuriated you even more.
“It’s just facts, doll”, he shrugged.
You narrowed your eyes but decided to launch again. This time, you went for his face, but he grabbed your arm and twisted so your back was against his chest. You took a deep breath at the contact when his lips were on your cheek.
“Stop”, he whispered and nibbled your neck.
With a grunt, you stomped your heel against his feet. He hissed, which was enough for you to drive your elbow against his ribs and your fist against his nose when he leaned down breathless. You hooked your arms around his neck and used your weight to bring him down, straddling his waist and pinning his arms to the ground.
You knew how easily he could just turn the situation around, but maybe he didn’t expect to find himself like this so easily and all he did was looking at you with a smile playing on his lips.
“What are you going to do now, (Y/L/N)?” He asked.
If you were honest to yourself, you just wanted to tease him like he had teased you. But you also knew you weren’t strong enough, not after last night and that morning. You bite your lip and leaned down, wondering if this time he would finally give in. He didn’t move, but his eyes turned a bit darker as his eyes moved down to your lips.
“I should just leave you wanting it”, you whispered against his lips. He chuckled a little.
“You wouldn’t make it to the door”, he warned you. You knew it was true.
You let go of one of his hands, which quickly moved to your hair, moving it out of the way. You took a deep breath, enjoying the moment, before finally closing the distance between your lips.
The moment your lips touched, you let go of his other hand. Immediately, Bucky flipped you around to have you pinned under him and kiss you deeply. You wrapped your legs around his waist in an attempt to bring him impossibly close to you. A moan escaped his throat, making you smirk against his lips while your hands sneaked under his t-shirt and brushed his warm skin.
You wanted him. Badly. But, of course, he wasn’t going to give you everything in just a moment, let alone on the gym floor. Instead, he pulled away after a few minutes and looked at you.
“You always get your way, huh?” He whispered, gently brushing your nose with his, a gesture you never saw coming from the big and fiery Winter Soldier.
“I have my skills”, you smiled.
With a smile, Bucky got up and helped you up as well, although he didn’t move away from you. He caressed your cheek and kissed your forehead.
“What now?” You asked a bit nervous.
“Maybe we should start with breakfast?” He suggested.
You laughed nervously and nodded, letting him take your hand and lead you out of the gym while all you could think about was kissing him all over again. Maybe over breakfast.
Tony’s parties were among the most dangerous and funny events you could attend in New York City. The man really knew how to throw one. And if they were always a success when there was no reason to have one –except boredom-, imagine how they were when there was an actual reason.
This time, it was Tony’s 40th birthday party.
Usually, he would just use one of the floors of the Stark Tower. However, for this very special occasion, Tony had gone completely mental. He decided not to use the Tower. He didn’t rent a property or a club in New York. He had decided to take you all to Santorini, where he had rented a whole villa for all of you to spend his 40th birthday.
When he gave you the news, a week before the trip, you all were shocked. You thought he was kidding, but when he appeared the next day and gave each one of you a plane ticket to Athens, you saw how serious he was.
So there you were, with your best friends –pretty much family- in the world, drunk in one of the most beautiful places in the world. Along with the rental of the villa, it looked like Tony had bought the whole supply of alcohol of the island for your enjoyment and you weren’t going to let him down.
You had started drinking at 11 in the morning. Piña colada with your breakfast. Was there any better way to start the day? Of course, by sunset, you were more than tipsy. So was everyone else. Even Thor, Bucky and Steve were drunk. Tony had asked Thor to bring all the Asgardian liquor he could find and the god had complied.
“Isn’t this beautiful?” You said, leaning against the white stone wall while looking at the spectacular view of the ocean in front of you, with a cherry vodka in your hand.
“It is”, Wanda, who was beside you, said. “I can’t believe Tony rented this. I mean, look at this view.”
Just then, Steve and Sam walked right past you, laughing at something Sam said. Steve’s eyes and yours met for a moment and he winked at you before he continued walking. They were probably on their way to get more alcohol.
“Yeah… an amazing view”, you mumbled looking at Steve’s ass.
“Make a move already”, Wanda laughed when she saw what you were looking at.
“Should I?” You mumbled, still looking at the corner where Steve had disappeared.
“You’ve been pining for him for months now, so yeah”, she shrugged.
That was true. Even though Steve and you had been friends for a long time and you had never thought of him differently, but something had changed months ago. You didn’t even know when it had changed exactly, but suddenly you found yourself not being able to take your eyes off him, thinking about him at all times, smiling whenever he looked at you, looking for him the moment you walked into a room and so on.
You never made a move or let him know anything. You couldn’t risk your friendship or the team just because of an infatuation that would probably go away at some point.
“We’ll see”, you said and pushed yourself from the wall. “You coming?”
Wanda narrowed her eyes, looking at the ocean, considering your question as it was the most important question ever asked.
“No, I still need some more air”, she finally said.
“We’re next to the pool, literally around the corner… there’s air”, you said.
“Whatever”, she said with a drunk chuckle.
You brought your red cup to your lips and finished the sweet beverage Natasha had prepared and went back to where everyone was.
The villa was huge and it was at the top of one of the many cliffs of the island. Therefore, the stunning views. It had a swimming pool, a hot tub, a tanning and barbecue area and a chill out area. You had no idea how much money Tony had invested in this, but it would have been a lot.
“There she is!” Bucky said when you turned the corner to join everyone.
You had decided that the best place for the core of the party was the swimming pool area, since it was next to the barbecue and had plenty of places to sit down, lay down or just –obviously- take a bath.
“I just went to have some air”, you said.
“Because there’s a huge lack of it around here, right?” Sam teased.
You stuck your tongue out at him and went to the alcohol table to get a refill. You looked around the table for the ice. Once you found it, you threw three ice cubs into your cup and took the vodka, pouring some in the cup as you hummed to the music playing through the speakers.
“Enjoying yourself?”
“Holy shit!” You exclaimed, not expecting anyone to talk to you at that moment.
Steve was quick enough to get the bottle before it crashed into the ground. You had been so focused on your drink that you hadn’t even heard anyone approaching you.
“Shit, sorry”, Steve said with a small smile and placed the bottle on the table.
“It’s okay”, you said as you giggled. “I was just… focused”, you laughed. “And yes, I am enjoying myself, thank you very much”, you finally answered his question.
You took the cherry bottle and poured some into the mix, turning it red. Finally, you looked at Steve, who was busy with his own drink. He looked gorgeous in that white shirt.
It had been Tony’s idea to have a white theme for the party, so everyone was in white. You were wearing a short white dress and brown sandals, with your hair up in a loose pony tail. With a sigh, you looked away from Steve, thinking about what Wanda had said.
Talking about making a move on Steve was easy. Actually making one, was a complete different story. He wasn’t only Steve, your friend; he was also Captain America, a public person with thousands of girls behind him, wasn’t a bit arrogant to think that he would chose you? You knew you had a lot to offer, but you didn’t know if it would be enough.
“You coming?” Steve asked when he finished refilling his cup.
“Huh?” You looked up at him.
“You okay?” He laughed. “You’ve been zooming out all afternoon”, he commented.
“Yeah, yeah… I think I’m just a bit…”
“Drunk?” He said with a teasing smile. You narrowed your eyes at him but smiled anyway. He always made you smile.
“Tipsy”, you said.
“I see”, he nodded and looked around. Suddenly, his lips formed an evil grin. “Maybe I can help you.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not going to bed or anything like that”, you said.
“Do you have your phone with you?” He asked, putting his cup on the table. You shook your head, actually wondering where you had left your phone. “Perfect.”
Without saying another word and without giving you time to react, Steve picked you up, making you drop your cup and spilling its content.
“Steve! What? What are you doing!?” You exclaimed, holding onto him as you saw that he was approaching the pool. “No! Don’t you dare! Rogers!”
“I think you need to sober up a little”, he said, still smiling.
“Go for it, Rogers!” You heard Sam encouraging him.
“Sam, shut up!” You screamed at him. “No, Steve, don’t!”
When Steve got to the edge of the pool, he was supposed to just throw you into it, but you refused to let go of him, so when he tried to let go of you, he found himself being pulled by your weight into the swimming pool as well.
The water wasn’t cold at all, thanks to the outside temperature, but it still caught you completely by surprise. However, you didn’t let go of Steve at any time. If you were going down, you were taking him with you.
“What the fuck?” He said when you two came out to the surface to the laughs of the whole team.
“You threw me into the pool!” You exclaimed, your arms still around his neck.
“And you took me with you”, he said now laughing.
“Well… yeah”, you nodded before you started laughing as well.
“Better?”
“I was okay the whole time! What made you think that throwing me into the water would sober me up?” You laughed.
“Well, I don’t know”, he shrugged. “I watched it in some movies. Aren’t you sober?”
“Sober enough to do this”, you said.
Then, you moved your hands to his shoulders and pushed him under the water before swimming away. You heard him coming to the surface with a gasp so you tried to swim faster to get to the edge, but just when you were about to reach it, Steve grabbed your ankle and pulled you back.
“No!” You laughed.
“You just tried to drown me!”
“Please, don’t, don’t do it”, you said holding onto him as he was a lifeboat.
You hadn’t even realised that you had both your arms and legs around him so he wouldn’t push you under water. It wasn’t until he smiled at you and pushed some hair out of your face that you were aware of it. And it was then when your heart starting beating way too fast and you felt yourself blushing.
“Please”, you whispered. Not really knowing what you were asking for.
“I could kiss you right now”, he whispered, looking at your lips.
You felt the breath leaving your throat as he spoke and your eyes moved down to his lips, just in time to see him running his tongue over them. It was the biggest temptation you had ever felt and, yet, you didn’t dare to close the distance.
“Do it”, you said instead.
Steve smiled slightly and moved his head closer to yours slowly, as he was giving you time to back away. But you weren’t going to do it. Still, he stopped when he was just an inch away from your lips, so close you could feel his breath against you, you could smell the gin mixed with his own scent. It was intoxicating. You bite your lip slightly and it looked like that was the last sign Steve needed.
He pressed his lips against yours slowly, allowing you to savour the moment as he wrapped his arms properly around you. His lips were cold due to the water and yet they felt warm and soft, his tongue slowly found its way into your mouth where he found yours, making a low moan escape your mouth which caused him to smirk into the kiss.
It was then, with his arms around you and his tongue in your mouth, when you realised that your feelings for the Captain were deeper than a crush.
***
Next day you woke up around noon with one of the worst hangover you had ever experienced. It had been one of the best nights of your life and you couldn’t remember most of it. However, you remembered the most important part: kissing Steve.
It hadn’t stopped at the pool. Once that kiss finished and everyone also finished teasing you, there were dozens of them along the night. Stolen ones, quick ones, heated ones. It looked like he had been waiting to kiss you for ages and was now making up for the lose time.
Yet, when you went to bed when the sun was already coming up again, he didn’t go to your room with you. He decided to sleep in the room he was sharing with Bucky. You weren’t exactly disappointed, but you weren’t happy about it either. Maybe he regretted it? Maybe he realised that he shouldn’t have kissed you and wanted to put distance?
There was no way of knowing it, except talking to him, but you didn’t know how to start the conversation. Although getting out of bed was a good start. You put on a pair on ripped jeans, a white short t-shirt and your flip flops. Since there was nothing you could about your hair, you just put it up in a messy bun and made your way out of the room.
The house was completely silent, which made you think that maybe you were the first one to wake up. It was surprising, since you and Steve had been the last ones to go to bed. In the kitchen, you poured yourself a glass of orange juice and walked to the patio where you had spent the whole night. It looked like Tony had hired a cleaning service since the only trace of the party was Bucky’s underwear floating on the pool.
“Morning”, you looked at one of the hammock to find Steve, lying there shirtless and with his sunglasses on.
“Hey”, you said, smiling a little as you remembered last night. “How are you feeling?”
“It’s the last time I’m drinking that Asgardian thing”, was his response.
You chuckled and took a seat on another hammock, next to him.
“You say that every time”, you said.
“Because I always forget how awful it feels in the morning”, he admitted with a smile. “How are you?”
“Like someone smashed my head with Mjolnir”, you smiled.
Steve smiled and turned his head to look up once again. While you drank your juice, you studied his face, wondering how to start the conversation and not finding an answer. He looked relaxed and happy –despite the hangover-. If he regretted anything, he would say something or, at least, wouldn’t be so relaxed, right?
“You’re staring”, he said after a few minutes. “So you probably want to tell me something.”
“Maybe?” You said.
Steve smiled and sat up, taking off his sunglasses. Then, he moved his legs to the side so he was sitting properly and facing you, his forearms on his legs and his eyes focused on you, waiting.
“Shoot”, he said.
“It’s about last night”, you said.
“I figured”, he nodded. “What about it?”
Was he really going to make you explain it? Wasn’t it obvious?
“Well… we… we had fun, right?” He nodded. “And we…”
“Kissed. A lot. I know”, he smiled. “I don’t bite, (Y/N), you can say it if you don’t want it to happen again.”
“What? No! That’s… you want it to happen again?” You asked.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed”, he said. “But I’m not the kind of guy who goes around kissing someone for no reason.”
“So… there’s a reason?” You asked and he nodded. “What is it?”
“Maybe the same reason that made you kiss me back every single time?”
“Eh…” you looked down at the juice. Steve took the glass from your hands and put it on the floor before taking your hands in his.
“Because I like you, (Y/N)”, he finally said. You looked at him and bit your lip, but you couldn’t help smiling widely.
“You do?” You asked and he nodded again. “So you don’t regret it?”
“In fact”, he said, moving a bit closer. “I think I’m going to kiss you again, just to show you how much I don’t regret it.”
He placed one of his hands on your face to pull you closer and kiss you slowly. This time it was different from last night, it was calmed, slow and perfect. When he pulled away, he pecked your lips briefly before looking at you.
“Then why didn’t you stay the night with me?” You asked.
“Because I didn’t want our first night together to happen when we were completely wasted”, he shrugged. “I want us to remember it perfectly”, he smiled.
Your stomach twisted at his answer. It was probably the best one he could have given you and it made you feel so stupid for thinking that he was going to avoid you. With a small smile, this time it was you the one kissing him again, moving to sit on his lap as you wrapped your arms around him and he hugged you tightly, kissing you back as the morning sun warmed you up in that beautiful morning of May.
Notes: I was supposed to post this for their 10th Anniversary but I totally forgot about it and just found it on my drafts! So I hope you like it :)
MASTERLIST
The moment you woke up you knew what day it was without even looking at the calendar.
July 23rd 2020.
10 years. It had been a whole decade since all the craziness started. Looking back now, you would have never imagined everything you all had gone through in that time, how much you had grown up -together and separated-, how much your lives had changed.
You were a 15 years-old-girl when you met them thanks to your aunt Lou. When you first laid eyes on them, you just saw five loud and unstoppable guys. You would have never imagined that you would find four brothers and something else in them.
However, there you were, 10 years later, checking your Twitter timeline with a stupid grin on your face. It looked like 2012 all over again and you loved it. You missed those times like crazy. Of course, you knew the hiatus was coming the moment Zayn left the band -and they had earned every single day of it-, but that didn’t change how much you missed them all.
Even though you had kept in touch with the five of them it wasn’t the same. They were all busy with their own solo projects and they barely had the time to meet up. You couldn’t blame them, but you still missed them. Especially the green-eyed one.
Harry and you immediately clicked when you met. It turned out you had a lot in common and similar personalities. You had a tight relation with the whole group, but what you and Harry had was special. Probably it helped that you were the same age. But the truth was that it didn’t matter the reason, you were always together.
Everyone who saw you together and knew how your relationship was just kept on saying that you two would end up together. It turned out they weren’t completely wrong, although it never worked out the way you would have wanted. You were a couple for less than a year. It was the best year of your life and the worst break-up you ever had.
You loved him and he loved you, there was no doubt of that, but it was too complicated to keep it going. As much as you loved touring the world with them, spending every single day with Harry, you also needed a life of your own, you wanted to go to college and doing it from afar didn’t work for you. It was the hardest decision you ever made, but everyone understood and supported you. Harry the most.
It broke his heart as well, but he knew he couldn’t ask you to keep with his lifestyle. He had to let you go. You gave distance a chance, but with their schedules and the time zones it soon became impossible. You remembered the last FaceTime you had, how heartbroken you both were. But it was for the best.
You never lost contact though. Every single time he would come to London he called you to spend a day together. Those days ended up being the best days of the year and they usually ended with you two going back to his place and spending the night together. And every morning your heart broke knowing you had to say goodbye again. But you kept on coming back to him every time his name showed up on your screen.
Usually he was the one who reached out, which made sense since he was the one who was travelling all the time. That morning, that July 23rd, was different. You texted first for the first time in a long time.
Happy 10 years, Styles. Wish we could celebrate together. Love you.
You gulped before sending the text. He was probably in the States and he wouldn’t see it for another few hours, so after sending some other texts to Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn, you got out of bed and headed to the shower. Usually, you would have to hurry to get to your internship, but with the pandemic you still didn’t have to go, so you had another day completely off.
However, before you got into the shower, you heard your ringtone. You frowned confused. It was way too early for your mum to be calling, so you had no clue who could it be. Maybe it was your boss, giving you an update on the status of your internship. With a sigh, you turned on the water and went back to the room, hoping it would be a quick call so you could go back to your shower.
You took the phone without even looking at the phone and answered it.
“Hello?” You said as you started walking back to the bathroom.
“Happy ten years to you too, love”, a deep known voice said on the other side, making you stop on your tracks as your heart started racing.
Quickly, you checked the caller and saw Harry’s name. He was probably the last person you expected to talk to that day.
“Thanks”, you finally managed to say when you put your phone against your ear.
“I’m guessing you didn’t expect my call?” He said. Judging by his tone, you knew he was smirking, which made you smile.
“You guessed correctly”, you admitted. “How are you awake?”
“I was out for an early run”, he said, making you frown.
“Wait, are you in England?”
“In London to be more accurate”, he said.
“R-really?” You stuttered.
“So maybe we can also make the celebration happen”, he said.
“Really?” You repeated. “I mean, yes! That would be great!”
You smacked yourself on the forehead for being such a nerd. He chuckled quietly before saying he had to make some calls during the morning, but he could pick you up at noon to have some lunch. You said yes immediately. Most of the restaurants were still closed, but he was Harry Styles. He always had a trick up his sleeve, and you couldn’t see what he would pull off that day.
Since you woke up way too early, the morning went off slowly. Or maybe it was just you being impatient. However, you finally got a text from Harry saying he was parked outside of your building. You grabbed your purse with the basic stuff -wallet, keys and phone- and a mask. Once you were sure you had locked the door properly, you went to the elevator.
Usually, he would wait for you in his car in case some recognised him. So it shocked you to see him casually leaning against the vehicle when you walked out of the building. When he heard you, he looked up from his phone. You couldn’t see his whole face due to the mask he was wearing, but his eyes told you he was smiling.
Despite all the precautions and distancing you were supposed to take, you knew it wouldn’t work with him. He was like a magnet and all you wanted to do was hug him and have him hugging you.
“Can I hug you?” He asked.
The fact that he was thinking the same as you made you laugh. All you did was hugging him tightly. He could always hug you, no matter what. He was the exception to every rule.
“I missed you”, you said with your eyes closed, which made him squeeze you a bit tighter.
“Me too”, he whispered.
You spent a couple of minutes just holding each other before he pulled away and opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him with a smile and got into the car and buckled up while he walked around the vehicle to get in before taking off the mask. You did the same and looked at him, the whole him this time.
“I love your hair short”, you said.
Harry looked at you with a dimpled smile and ran a hand through his hair -an old habit he didn’t seem to be able to shake but you loved- before turning on the engine.
“How long has it been?” He asked once he started driving.
“Christmas, I think”, you said after thinking about it for a moment. “Hans’ Christmas party before you went back to the States.”
“Right”, he said and looked at you, making you blush and smile at the memories of that night. “How have you been?”
“Locked”, you chuckled making him chuckle as well. “But good, I finished my thesis, watched a lot of movies and TV shows and baked. A lot.”
“You’ve always been good at baking”, he said.
“And you’ve always been good at eating”, you teased, making him laugh. “What about you?”
“I got stuck in the States until a few days ago”, he shrugged. “Didn’t do much either.”
“Sorry about your tour, by the way”, you said when you remembered. “I was excited.”
“Me too”, he sighed. “But some stuff are more important.”
You smiled a little and nodded to yourself. This pandemic had been, and was been, a wreck all around the world. As usual, you reached out to turn on the radio, which made Harry smile to himself. Ever since the first time you had got into his car, all those years ago, you would always start the music, no matter what. At first, he was surprised you took such confidences in someone else’s car, but he soon loved that detail about you.
“How is it going with your internship?” He asked when the song that was playing on the radio ended.
“I’m on furlough”, you shrugged and sighed. “I got an email last week saying some people would start coming back to work soon. But I don’t think that includes interns.”
“I wouldn’t be in a hurry if I were you”, he commented as he checked the mirrors. “You don’t have a car to go to the office and I wouldn’t be too excited about getting into the tube.”
“I could always get a bike”, as soon you said that you both started laughing. You were the less sportive person you had even known. “Yeah, that was a good one.”
“Indeed”, he chuckled.
“I’m not in a hurry to go back”, you shrugged. “But it’s boring.”
“I know”, he sighed and looked at you for a moment. “But at least now we have time to hang out.”
“Like old times”, you smiled. Harry smiled softly and nodded.
“Like old times.”
“Where are we going by the way? Most restaurants are still closed”, you said.
You had been so focused on talking to Harry and watching him drive that you hadn’t been paying attention to the streets, so you had no idea where you were going.
“My place”, he said, surprising you. “My new place, actually.”
“You have a new place?” You asked even more surprised.
“Yeah. Too many people knew about the house in Hampstead. It was annoying”, he sighed. “Hopefully, no one will find out about this one.”
“But you loved Hampstead!”, you pouted. You loved that house too, to be honest.
“I didn’t sell it”, he shrugged with a smile. “I just don’t use it as official residency.”
“Good”, you smiled now. “So… your place.”
“You’re okay with that?” He asked a bit concerned.
“Oh yes! I just assumed we would to some restaurant”, you shrugged.
“I thought about it”, he nodded. “But even if they’re open, I feel bad for the people who have to work in them, so I guess it makes their lives less anxious with less customers.”
“Always so thoughtful”, you commented.
“Can’t help myself”, he said, his cheeks blushing a little.
You smiled sweetly and looked out of the window, now curious to see where he had moved to. Judging by the zone, you were in the south of London, although you couldn’t figure out exactly where.
Finally, he drove into a subterranean parking in a big brick building. The parking didn’t have many cars, which led you to believe that he didn’t have many neighbours. Harry parked at the very end of the place and, once he turned off the engine, you unbuckled yourself and got out of the car.
“Quite big for a few cars”, you commented looking around.
“I know”, he laughed after locking his car. “It’s a new building. Probably is four years old, so not many people live here yet. And those who do, have more than one car so…”
“You have more than one spot?” You asked.
“Those three are also mine”, he said pointing.
You smiled when you saw the familiar black Range Rover in which you had been so many times over the years. The other two spots were empty, but you knew he had the cars to fill them.
Without saying anything, he started walking to an elevator you hadn’t seen at first sight. You followed him while you checked your phone before throwing it into your bag for the rest of the day. When you got into the elevator, you looked around at how new it looked.
“How long have you been living here?” You asked, leaning against the wall of the elevator.
“A couple of years”, he shrugged and you nodded. “I was the second one to move in.”
“Really?” He nodded. “Nice”, you chuckled.
It didn’t surprise you when the elevator opened at the last floor. He had always liked high places and he had always said that he would love to live in a penthouse someday. It looked like he had fulfilled another one of his fantasies. As you stepped out, you saw that there were only two doors. Private.
“I’m the only one in this floor”, he commented. “These two places are the most expensive so”, he shrugged.
“More silence for you. Imagine a family with three children living across the hall”, you said.
“You would go crazy”, he laughed.
“Definitely”, you smiled a little.
It wasn’t like you didn’t like kids. You did. But when there were many of them, you got a bit nervous, especially if they were loud.
Harry took out a keychain and put it in front of where a locker should have been. It beeped and he pushed the door open. He looked back with a cocky grin.
“Snob”, you mumbled when he let you walk in first.
“Hey!” He laughed.
He took your bag and hung it next to the door while you looked around in awe. It was an open-space living room and kitchen, surrounded by huge windows from where you could see Vauxhall Bridge and the other side of the Thames. It was all decorated in cold colours, but it wasn’t a cold environment. He had managed to give his personal and warm touch.
“What do you think?” He asked standing behind you, a bit more closer than what you expected.
“Much better than Hampstead”, you admitted.
“You think so?”
“There’s no way teenage girls will camp just outside your door”, you shrugged.
“Good point”, he laughed. “Come, I’ll show you the balcony.”
“I’m not a big fan of heights”, you reminded him while he was dragging you by your hand.
“I won’t let you go”, he said.
Saying no to him was an impossible task. There was nothing you could deny to him, not when he gave you that dimpled smile that you loved so much.
To be honest, the views were breath-taking, it couldn’t be denied, but you didn’t go too close to the edge just in case and Harry didn’t push you. All he did was hold your hand tightly.
“I have to confess something”, he said after a while.
“What is it?” You asked quietly.
“I haven’t cooked anything. I was praying you were craving pizza”, he said, making you laugh out loud.
“I’m always craving pizza, you idiot”, you said giving him hand a gentle squeeze before going back inside.
He followed you inside but left the door open. While he ordered the pizza, you walked around the living room, checking out the photos he had framed and also the vinyl collection he had. You smiled a little when you saw that he had all One Direction CDs there as well, as vinyl.
When you started looking at the photos, the first one that caught your eye was one of the two of you, so many years ago, in the tour bus. You took it from the chest it was on. You smiled warmly as you remembered all those long hours stuck into the bus. Somehow, they all managed to make it fun.
In the photo, you and Harry were laying down on one of the sofas, sleeping while facing each other. You were cuddled up against him while he had one hand on your waist, hugging you, and the other one stretched over your head. You remembered having that photo as your lockscreen for so long.
“I think that’s my favourite.”
You hadn’t expected Harry to be just behind you. You hadn’t even heard him coming close to you, so you gasped and almost dropped the photo, but he was quick enough to catch it.
“So I would appreciate if you didn’t break it”, he chuckled.
“Sorry, you scared me”, you said.
“Sorry”, he said too and looked down at the photo before putting it back on top of the chest. “We really had fun that tour, didn’t we?”
“Wasn’t it the one when we started dating?” You asked. He nodded and turned around to walk to couch. “It really was fun.”
“Are you seeing anyone?” He asked all of sudden.
You chuckled and looked down before shaking your head. It was a question that always came up between you two. If the answer was positive it changed the whole mood of the time you spent together. It wasn’t like you didn’t want each other to date other people, but it still hurt to see it.
“Are you?” You asked.
“No”, he said and looked at you before smiling a little.
“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that”, he said and looked down at his hands. He started playing with his rings, which he used to do whenever he got nervous.
“About what?”
“Us.”
“Oh…”, you gulped and looked down as well.
You always feared when he brough that up. Usually it was because he was seeing someone, so you guessed this time wouldn’t be different, even though he had just said he wasn’t seeing anyone. You bite your lip and nodded.
“Okay”, you whispered.
“I was going to wait until after we ate but since it came up”, he shrugged.
“You brought it up”, you quickly said.
“Good point”, he chuckled.
“Anyway”, you looked at him. “What is it? What’s her name?”
“Her name?” He asked confused. “I’m… I’m not seeing anyone. I told you.”
“Really?” You frowned, even more confused than him. “I just- Every time you want to talk about us, it is because you’re seeing someone.”
“Oh… I hadn’t thought about it, to be honest”, he said thinking about it before laughing a little. “It’s not the case now”, he shrugged.
“What is it?” You asked now curious but also fearful. What if he said he didn’t have feelings for you anymore?
“You know how we have always said that we can’t be together because of how messy my life is, right?” He asked and you nodded, having no clue where he was going with this. “Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and you were right about it back then. When I was in the band. Now it’s different.”
“How? You still have the same job”, you shrugged. “And I don’t want you to have a different one”, you quickly added.
“Yes, but I’m not touring all year long”, he explained. “Now I can take my time. It’s been two years since I dropped my first solo album and only last year, I dropped Fine Line. Yes, when I’m on tour I spend a lot of time on it, but I also have a lot of time between one and the next. Especially now that it’s been postponed.”
“Harry”, you interrupted him. “Go to the point”, you chuckled.
“Yes, sorry”, he smiled a little. “I want to give it, us, another chance.”
Your mind went completely blank as he said the words. You had no idea how many times you had dreamed about this and, now that it was right in front of you, you didn’t know what to say. Suddenly, you felt scared, confused, lost. You loved him? Of course you did. Was this a good idea? You got no idea. You only knew that the first time almost broke you and you didn’t know if you were ready to go through that again.
Although it could work out this time, a tiny voice inside your head said.
What if it didn’t? What if you just didn’t work as a couple?
Luckily for you, just then the bell rang.
“Pizza!” You exclaimed and got up, relieved to have some time off from that conversation.
Harry looked at you as you ran to the door, obviously running away from him at the moment. He had no idea what to think of that. Did that mean you didn’t feel the same way anymore? You only saw him as a friend? Or maybe it was just that you didn’t see it coming and felt a bit overwhelmed? He wanted to believe it was the latest, but his mind kept on going to the worst-case scenario.
Anyway, the food was there and he figured that giving you time to take his words in wouldn’t hurt anyone.
Harry had already paid for the pizzas when he ordered them, so all you had to do was take them. Once you closed the door by pushing it with your foot, you went to the isle that separated the kitchen from the living room and put them on top of it.
“This smell amazing”, you said while Harry was walking around the kitchen gathering the dishes, glasses and napkins.
“I’m drooling just by the smell”, he agreed. “Do you want to eat here, in the living room or out there?”
“It’s a bit chilly out there”, you said. “Maybe the living room and we can watch something on Netflix?”
“Sounds good”, he nodded.
Silently, you two moved everything to the living room and set the table up. When it was all ready, Harry turned on the TV and logged into his Netflix account before he started looking for something to watch while you poured water into the glasses.
“What about Harry Potter and The Priosioner of Azkaban?” He suggested.
“You know me”, you smiled widely.
It was your favourite Harry Potter movie, so there was no way you would say no to it. Harry smiled warmly and nodded to himself.
“I do”, he sighed before pressing play on the remote.
***
“I’m surprised you watched the whole movie”, you said two hours later when the movie was over.
“Why?” Harry asked.
He stood up and started taking everything back to the kitchen.
“Well”, you got up too and took the glasses. “You always fall asleep during the movies I choose.”
“Technically, I chose this one, so it would’ve been rude to fall asleep”, he said while you handed him the glasses so he would put them into the dishwasher.
“It’s rude anyway but whatever helps you sleep at night”, you said with a smile.
“Are you saying I’m rude?” He asked with his eyes narrowed after he closed the dishwasher.
“Contrary to popular belief, Mr. Styles… I know the whole truth about you”, you said, crossing your arms.
“And what is that?” He asked, mirroring your position.
“That you can be rude sometimes”, you shrugged.
“Falling asleep during a movie is not rude. It is… tiredness”, he said, making you laugh.
“And you always have a reply for everything”, you said.
“I like to be prepared”, he shrugged.
“Like I said…”, you laughed and leaned against the counter.
Harry laughed out loud and shook his head before excusing himself to go to the bathroom. You stayed there in the kitchen, thinking again about what Harry had said just before the pizza arrived. You had barely paid attention to the movie thanks to that.
You had no idea where that proposition came from. It had been years since you two had had any conversation about your relationship and you had no idea what you wanted. Yes, you loved him. Yes, you wanted to be with him. But you feared that this was just about him feeling nostalgic. You remembered vividly the great couple you two were, but you didn’t know if you could go through that kind of heartbreak again.
“You know what I’ve been trying to get better at during lockdown?”
You jumped a little since you hadn’t heard him coming back from the bathroom.
“Surprise me”, you said, still lost in thought.
“Football”, he said. You looked at him with an eyebrow raised, trying not to laugh.
“Really?” You asked. “How did that turn out exactly?”
“Awful”, he admitted, making you laugh.
“I figured”, you nodded and sighed, looking down at your hands.
You felt him coming closer until he was standing right in front of you. Yet, you didn’t dare to look up.
“You okay?” He finally asked.
“Where did that come from?” You blurted out. When he didn’t answer, you looked up. He was frowning and the look in his eyes told you that he was measuring his words. “About us.”
“From… what I feel for you”, he said like it was obvious. “What I’ve always felt for you.”
“Right”, you sighed.
“Don’t you feel the same anymore?” He asked worried.
“I don’t think there’s a world, a universe, where I don’t feel that way about you”, you sighed.
“What’s the problem, then?”
“Why now? How do I know that this, you wanting more again, is not something that will just go away?” You asked.
“I’ve always wanted more from us, (Y/N). The only reason we broke up was because we couldn’t make it work with our lives. We can now”, he said. Hesitantly, he took a step towards you and held your hands. “I’ve loved you since we were 18. I can promise you it isn’t going anywhere. Ever. And neither am I.”
“It…”, you sighed. “It just hurt so much when we broke up, Harry. I don’t think I can go through that again.”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t promise that”, you chuckled.
“I could”, he shrugged. “Because that’s a promise I plan on keeping.”
You looked down at your united hands and sighed. His hands had always been so big, way bigger than yours, which had always made you feel safe in a strange way. You bit your lip, not knowing what to do. You knew what you wanted, but you didn’t know if you were brave enough to do it.
“I love you”, you whispered.
“And I love you too”, he said back, rubbing your hands. “You’re my endgame.”
“Don’t use The Avengers against me”, you said, making him laugh. With a sigh, you looked up and it surprised you to find his green eyes so close to yours. “You can’t look at me with those eyes and expect me to give you a reasoned answer.”
“I don’t want you to follow reason”, he shrugged. “I want you to say what you really want.”
“You”, you said without hesitation. “Always. Every day.”
Harry smiled warmly and put some hair out of your face gently, before cupping your face.
Your heart was beating so fast and it felt so loud, that it surprised you that he couldn’t listen to it. You didn’t know what the right thing to do was, but you knew that reasoning about this wouldn’t get you anywhere. You knew you loved him, you knew you wanted to be with him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you could make it work this time. They said that third time was the charm, but maybe the second could be your charm.
“Is it a yes?” He asked, now looking at your lips.
“Yes”, you finally nodded.
His smile grew even bigger now before pulling you towards him and pressing his lips against yours. Just like every single time, you felt fireworks in your stomach. Ever since the first time you kissed him, you felt you could spend your whole time kissing him and would never get tired of it.
Notes: I could do a second part of this if you’re interested :) Feedback is appreciated!
Masterlist
You just couldn’t stop thinking about it and how much you wanted it to happen again.
***
You were in the middle of a mission. Fury had decided that you and Steve were the best ones for the job. In his opinion, Steve was the one with the ‘kindest’ face so no one would suspect him. And you, being the latest addition to the team, wouldn’t stand out. It would just look like the Captain had decided to introduce you to some of the most important personalities of New York.
However, according to the mission, your presence at the governor’s re-election party was just a cover that would allow you to sneak around the mansion to retrieve some important files that had evidence of the government being ‘in bed’ with Hydra. Piece of cake, right?
So, there you were, in the Dior dress Tony had managed to get for you and wearing the most uncomfortable heels you had ever tried. You couldn’t understand why someone would waste thousands of dollars on this murderer weapons. Your feet were killing you and all you could think about was how nice your usual combat boots were.
“Smile”, Steve said in your ear when he approached you with a glass of champagne. “You look like you’re about the kill someone.”
“You would look like that as well if you were wearing these heels”, you said, but forced a smile on your face anyway. “Can’t we just get to the point?”
“We have just arrived”, he said looking around. “We have to make some conversation, blend in, so no one notices when we go upstairs.”
“I still don’t know why Natasha didn’t come”, you sighed. “She’s way better at these things than I am.”
“Think of it as training”, he said, waving at a man you thought you had seen on TV at some point. “Not everything is fighting, running and knocking people out.”
“That would be too beautiful to be true”, you sighed, making him laugh.
“No wonder you and Bucky get along so easily”, he commented. “He would rather die than coming to one of these events.”
“I can’t blame him”, you shrugged and sipped some of the champagne. At least it was delicious.
But you couldn’t drink too much. You had to stay sober long enough to carry your mission out. Once the job was done, you could get as wasted as you liked.
“Watch out”, Steve said, placing a hand on your back to call your attention. “The Governor is coming. He probably wants to meet you.”
“Why me?” You asked as you saw the man whose file you had memorised approach.
“You’re an Avenger, remember?” He said as a polite and friendly smile appeared on his face. It made you wonder how many parties of this kind he had attended to.
“Captain America”, the governor said with a huge smile on his face as he shook Steve’s hand vigorously. “Such a pleasure to have you here tonight, Rogers.”
“It is my pleasure, sir”, Steve nodded before turning to you. “May I introduce you (Y/N) (Y/L/N)? The newest addition to our team”, he said.
“I wonder where do you all come from”, Cuomo said as he shook your hand. He had a firm grip. “A pleasure to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine, sir”, you said with a polite nod.
“It’s only you two today?” The governor asked.
“I’m afraid so”, Steve said. “The rest of the team had other business to attend to.”
“Avenging never ends, right?” Cuomo smiled. “Well, it was a pleasure to see you. I have to say hello to so many people. Enjoy your night and I’ll talk to you later. I would like to discuss some ideas I talked about with the Secretary.”
“Absolutely”, Steve smiled.
“Lovely to meet you, (Y/L/N)”, the governor said before walking away.
You let out a sigh and took another sip of the champagne.
“What do you think?” Steve asked, moving to stand in front of you.
“Not as bad as I thought”, you shrugged, following the governor with your eyes. “What do you think he wants to talk about?”
“Don’t worry about that”, Steve shrugged it off. “He just likes to brag about his relationship with Ross. His ideas are usually bullshit.”
“But you have to keep him happy”, you said.
“You’re learning”, Steve smiled. “Okay, listen to me. We’ll walk around for like half an hour and then we will meet at the staircase. If someone asks-“
“I’m going to the bathroom”, you said. “I know what I have to do, Rogers”, you said with a wink before walking away.
If you had turned around just once, you would have seen Steve’s smile as he saw you walking away from him.
For the next thirty minutes, you did as Natasha had told you the night before. Made small talk, smile, be a bit of a flirt but not enough to have someone fall for it, laugh without making it look like you’re sucking up. Just be the perfect guest. However, you were extremely relief when you saw Steve by the stairs, waiting for you.
You excused yourself, saying you were going to the bathroom, and walked towards him. He was looking down at his phone, probably checking the time you two had. Just when you were a couple of feet away, he looked up and smiled as he saw you.
“Just in time”, he said.
“I’m British, remember?” You said with a smile. “Let’s do this.”
With a nod, he let you walk in front of him and placed a hand at the bottom of your back while you two walked upstairs. Casually, you looked around to make sure no one was looking at you two, and everyone seemed to focus on their own conversations to pay attention to the two people going upstairs.
“According to the blueprints”, Steve said as you reached the first floor and turned to the right, ignoring the ‘Off Limits’ sign that security had placed there. “Cuomo’s office is down this corridor and to the left. You go first and check the security while I connect the coms so Peter can hack the security.”
“I can’t believe we’re trusting a 16 years old boy with the hacking of the security”, you said like you had done a million times before.
“Tony couldn’t believe they were trusting you to come to this mission”, Steve shrugged.
“What?” You frowned and looked at him. You didn’t know about that. “Tony didn’t trust me?”
“He just said that you weren’t ready yet for an undercover mission. That’s all”, Steve quickly explained. “If you want, you can have a word with him later when we’re finished.”
You sighed and nodded. Steve was right. You couldn’t let anything get to you at that moment. You had to be focused. Although you had to admit it was a bit painful to know that Tony –the one who had recommended you for the team and had tracked you down to London- didn’t think you were ready.
Without further word, you made your way down the corridor, paying attention to any noise around you. But all the noise you could hear was the one from the party downstairs. It looked like no one was around. When you got to the corner, you stopped and peaked around it. You could spot the door of the office at the end of it. Everything was quiet. No one was around.
“Clear?” You heard Steve’s voice in your ear, making you jump a little bit when the coms were suddenly connected.
“Clear”, you said.
“On my way. Parker, how you doing?” Steve asked.
“Almost done, Captain”, the kid said. “I just have to get through the last firewall and you’ll be set.”
“How much time do you need?” You asked.
“A minute”, he said.
“Make it faster”, Steve said at the same time he reached where you were.
“Yes ma’am”, Peter said.
“And don’t call me ma’am”, you rolled your eyes, making Steve smile.
Just then, you heard a door opening in the same corridor where the office was. You opened your eyes widely and looked carefully. It was the governor’s own personal bodyguard.
“What the fuck is he doing up here? Why isn’t he with the governor?” Steve asked.
“The question is what we’re going to say when he sees us. The bathroom is at the other end of the corridor”, you said. “Damn it.”
You could hear the footsteps getting closer as you looked around. There was no hiding place. You could use the getting lost excuse, but it was quite useless when you were in a mansion full of signs telling you where you could go and what was off limits.
You looked at Steve, who looked as he was getting ready to fight. That was a mistake. Everyone knew who you were and there was no way you could just walk out freely if you beat the head of the governor’s security. There had to be something else you could do. And suddenly, you knew what that was.
“Kiss me”, you said grabbing Steve’s hand.
“What?” He said surprised.
“Just kiss me, for fuck’s sake.”
Before he had time to protest, you pull him by his neck and kissed him. At first, he didn’t kiss you back, but then he closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing you back and taking control of the situation. One of his hands moved up to your hair as he pulled you closer.
“What is this?”
You two pulled away, your face completely blushed, and looked at the bodyguard. When he saw who you two were, a grin appeared on his face.
“Sorry, Captain”, he said. “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”
With a nod, he kept on walking away, like he had seen nothing. You felt Steve’s eyes on you, although you couldn’t manage to look up. You bite your lip and took a deep breath.
“That was intense”, you heard Peter say in the coms.
***
Having a crush on Steve Rogers was something that happened to everyone. He was kind, loyal, funny, caring and, of course, way too handsome for this world, but you had never thought it could be more than a crush. Until now.
It had been a week since that happened. The mission was successful. You had managed to retrieve the data that you needed and go back to the party to blend in. However, you weren’t able to focus for the rest of the night, and neither for the rest of the week.
Every time you crossed paths with Steve, you blushed like you were a teenager. When you were in the same room, you avoided eye contact. You hadn’t talked about it, he hadn’t brought it up and the only person who knew about it –Peter- had said nothing, which was surprising.
Yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about. All you could do was remember the feeling of his lips against yours. How soft and warm they were, the way he held you against him, his body against yours. It was driving you crazy. Even sleeping was becoming harder.
There you were, lying awake at 3 in the morning, picturing those blue eyes over and over again, that smile and those lips. Maybe if you kissed him again, it would go away. Maybe that was all you needed and you could go back to normal. Maybe it was just a brief infatuation that would go away with another brief kiss.
Yes, that was probably the solution.
You kicked the sheets off and got out of bed. Without even bothering on putting on some shorts and wearing only the long t-shirt you used to sleep, you walked out of your room and went to Steve’s as silent as possible. You didn’t want to wake anyone up and get asked questions you didn’t know how to answer.
Luckily, Steve’s room wasn’t far from yours and soon you were softly knocking on his door. Even if he didn’t hear it, you knew F.R.I.D.A.Y would wake him up if you asked her to. That wasn’t necessary. A wide awake Steve opened the door and looked at you surprised.
“(Y/N)?” He asked. Without saying anything, you walked in. “Everything okay?” He asked when he closed the door. “It’s 3 in the morning”, he said.
“Yeah, I know”, you said fidgeting with the necklace you always wore. “I can’t sleep.”
“What’s wrong?” He asked frowning and walking over to you, obviously worried.
“Kiss me again”, you said straight away.
Steve stopped walking and stood there in the middle of the room, looking at you like you had just taken off your clothes. To be honest, it felt like that.
“Excuse me?”
“I…” you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “I can’t stop thinking about it. About… our kiss. Every minute of every day. Every time I look at you, I feel your lips and your body and when I close them, you’re there too. I don’t know…” you sighed. “I need you to kiss me again, Steve. I think it’s the only way I can get over this.”
“Over what exactly?” He asked, crossing his arms.
“Over whatever feelings I have for you.”
Now that you were saying out loud, you realised how stupid it sounded. How kissing him was supposed to be helpful? It would probably have the opposite effect. And yet, there you were, asking him to kiss you. There was no going back now, so you might as well keep on going with your dumb idea.
“You have feelings for me?” Steve asked, a hint of smile appearing on his face.
“Can you please stop repeating what I say?” You said frustrated. Steve chuckled a little bit and walked over to you, placing a hand on your cheek.
“I can kiss you. I actually have been thinking about that too the last days”, he admitted, taking you by surprise. “But I really don’t think it’s going to work.”
“Why not?” You frowned, allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes.
“Just a hunch”, he shrugged. “So?”
You looked from his eyes to his mouth and then back up again. Now you needed his kiss. You wouldn’t be able to go away without it after being this close to him, after feeling his breath on your face.
“Kiss me”, you said for the third time.
“As you wish”, he said in whisper before leaning down to kiss you.
It was even better than you remembered. And as soon as his lips touched yours, you knew he was right. It wasn’t going to work, it had been a stupid idea. You needed more. This kiss wasn’t going to be enough, you were going to want more. More kisses, more touches, more of him. And you didn’t know what to do about it.
Featuring: Avengers + Harry Styles (random, I know)
Word count: 7k
Warnings: some swearing
Tags: -
Request: -
Notes: it’s been ages but I’m finally posting something again! Hope you like it :)
Masterlist
You were in love with your best friend and he had no idea. Cliché, right? Yes, you couldn’t deny it, but it was still frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time.
You and Bucky were inseparable since you two met. It turned out that you were the only person -besides Steve- who could keep him calm and, as a matter of a fact, he helped you get over the loss of your family during a terrorist attack that you couldn’t prevent.
After that day, he showed up at your room every day to check on you. He never forced you to do anything you didn’t want to. If you wanted to spend the day in bed, he could crawl in with you. If you wanted to cry, he could be your shoulder; if you wanted to scream, he would listen; if you needed to punch someone, he would be your adversary. It didn’t matter what you needed: he would give it to you.
It was kind of impossible not to fall for him, even if it was only one-sided. You had never told him how you felt, so you didn’t really know how he felt about you. However, Steve and Nat kept on insisting that he loved you back. You never believed them. It was easier that way. And, eventually, you got used to those feelings, they became a part of you and you learned to live with them while having him as a friend.
“You seriously aren’t going to tell him”, Natasha said when she watched you hug Bucky goodbye. He was leaving with Steve and Sam for a meeting with Tony and wouldn’t be back until later that night.
“How many times do we have to talk about it?” You said, stealing a few popcorns from her bowl.
“As many times as it takes you to tell him you love him”, she replied.
“Well, get comfortable then. I’m not telling him”, you shrugged.
“You are the most stubborn person I have ever met”, she sighed. “He loves you too! You could be living your perfect love story, having mind blowing sex every day and yet, you chose-”
“Friendship, Nat”, you interrupted her. “I chose friendship. Also, you don’t know if he loves me”, you added.
“Of course I do”, she said. “He told Steve.”
You were about to throw a popcorn in your mouth but stopped mid-way. You looked at her, not sure you had truly heard what she had just said.
“Excuse me?” You asked.
“Yeah”, she shrugged with a small smile. You narrowed your eyes at her.
Natasha was a great friend, but she was also really good at deceiving and you knew she would do anything in order to get you two together. Even lying about this.
“Don’t give me that look!” She said. “I promise I’m not lying. He told Steve at Clint’s birthday party. You were flirting with that guy from the bio team-”
“He was the one flirting with me!”
“Whatever. Bucky was drunk and got jealous, so he spilled the beans to Steve and I happened to be close enough to listen to him”, she shrugged.
“Clint’s party was weeks ago! Why didn’t you tell me?” You frowned.
“I thought he would tell you, to be honest. I never thought he would be so slow”, she said with a roll of her eyes. “Too much for a super soldier, huh? Take down terrorists, put himself in the middle of a battlefield, but sharing his feelings it’s too much.”
“Natasha, this is not funny”, you warned her. “If you’re lying…”
“I’m not!” She exclaimed. “Anyway, it’s not like you can say anything. If you did, you would have to admit that I told you and they would know I had been eavesdropping and I would look like a major gossip.”
“And your reputation is way more important than your friend’s happiness?” You asked.
“Five minutes ago you were refusing to come clean, so don’t try and make me feel bad”, she said.
You looked at her for a few seconds before grabbing another handful of popcorn and getting out of the living room. Was she saying the truth or was everything a trap to make you confess your feelings to Bucky? Her story seemed too real to be a lie, and you remembered Bucky’s strange behaviour during Clint’s party. Back then, you thought he was just drunk, but maybe he was really jealous.
You had to find out the truth without exposing Nat. Although you had no idea how to do it.
That night, you came back downstairs after spending the afternoon in your room trying to come up with a way of discovering if Bucky truly had feelings for you. You didn’t have a proper plan, but you had a few ideas. What you didn’t expect was that it would be Tony the one to give you the perfect plan without even knowing it.
“Is everyone back?” You asked Natasha, who was still on the couch, now reading a magazine.
“Yeah, they came back a while ago. Steve is making dinner”, she said.
“Oh God”, you mumbled. “Are you ordering pizza, then?”
“Yeah, I have the order ready on my phone. Check it out in case you want to add anything”, she said.
You took a seat next to Nat and took her phone, doing as she had said. To be honest, Steve was one of the best people you had ever met, but he was a complete disaster in the kitchen. He knew it, but he kept on trying. And failing. So it was always good to have a backup plan whenever he decided to make dinner.
“And Bucky is talking to Tony, by the way”, Natasha commented. You glanced at her but made no comment.
“Bullshit, Stark. I’m not doing it!” You heard an angry Bucky saying.
When you looked up from Nat’s phone, you saw him coming up from Tony’s lab, with a smirking Tony closely following. You sighed and looked at Nat, who just shook her head. It was common knowledge that Tony enjoyed messing with Bucky, so you barely paid attention to their little quarrels anymore.
“C’mon, it’s not a bit of a deal. We will all do it”, Tony said. This time, you were curious.
“Do what?” You asked from your spot on the couch.
“We have been invited to a premiere”, Tony shrugged.
“That’s cool!” You smiled.
“What?” Bucky frowned.
“What’s wrong about a premiere?” Natasha asked.
“Interviews”, you finally said with a chuckle. “It’s impossible for us to make an appearance in such a public event and not get interviewed. And someone here”, you looked at Bucky, “hates cameras, mics and interviews.”
“Plus, it’s not even for a good movie”, Bucky mumbled.
“Dunkirk premiere in London”, Tony shrugged. “Nolan called and invited us.”
“You’re friends with Christopher Nolan?” You asked shocked.
“Oh please. I’m his daughter’s godfather”, Tony said.
“Well, I’m in”, you immediately said.
“Of course you are”, Steve said coming out of the kitchen. “Harry Styles is on that movie so he’ll be at the premiere”, he winked.
“I never mentioned him”, you smiled widely.
“Who’s that?” Bucky frowned.
“Oh boy…” Natasha said in a whisper.
“(Y/N)’s celebrity crush”, Steve quickly said. “Nat, can you please order pizza? I burned the chicken.”
“On its way”, Natasha said taking her phone and placing the order.
“So, you’re in?” Tony asked.
“Of course!” You said with a huge smile. “I mean… the trailer looks amazing and I love London.”
“Yeah…, London”, Natasha mumbled.
You smiled to yourself but decided not to say anything else, especially since you felt Bucky staring at you which made you feel nervous and, for the first time, you allowed yourself to think that Natasha had told you the truth.
During the following days, there were still several fights about the premiere. Most of them between Bucky and someone else. For some reason, he still refused to go, which was stupid. Eventually, it just became exhausting to keep on listening to same excuses over and over again
“Bucky, no one is forcing you to come, for god’s sake!” You finally said the night before you all were travelling to London.
You were having dinner all together, as usual, and Bucky was complaining to Steve about how he didn’t like being in public, cameras, dressing up and all that ‘Hollywood shit’. You had had enough of him by now and you just wanted to have a nice dinner. Yet, everyone was surprised to hear you snap at him.
“Excuse me?” He asked frowned.
“You’ve been complaining for the whole fucking week, like a child who’s been forced to go to his great aunt’s birthday”, you said, everyone looking at you. “We are all excited about this trip, about having a distraction, about not being superheroes for just one. Fucking. Day. So if you don’t want to come just because someone might want to interview you, if you think it is so annoying, so shallow, just stay here!”
No one said a word after you finished talking, not even Bucky who usually had a reply for everything. You huffed and looked at your plate, just to find out that you had lost your appetite. Throwing one last glare at Bucky, you excused yourself and got up from the table, claiming you still had so clothes to pack.
You didn’t understand what had got into Bucky. Yeah, you knew he wasn’t comfortable around cameras, that he didn’t like being in the spotlight, but he never complained so much about it, so you didn’t get what was so annoying about this particular situation. Whatever it was, it was getting on your nerves. But no one was going to spoil this experience. Not even your stupid, whinny, alleged best friend.
“Hey…”
A while later, when you had finally finished packing, there was a knock on your door and Nat’s head popped in.
“Can I come in?” She asked and you nodded, sitting up on your bed and putting your phone down. “You okay? That was quite unexpected down there.”
“Yeah, I’m okay, don’t worry”, you shrugged. “I just got tired of his whinning.”
“Still, you had never snapped like that before”, she said, taking a seat on your bed.
“Yes, I have”, you laughed.
“Not at him”, she pointed out.
You opened your mouth to reply, but maybe she was right, so you just shrugged and looked down.
“I don’t know, it just annoyed me”, you finally said. “I’m so excited about this trip, going to London, the premiere, everything, and it felt like he was kind of ruining it with all his complaining. I don’t even know why he’s acting like that.”
“I think I may know”, Nat said with a small smile.
“Enlighten me, please”, you sighed.
“He’s jealous”, she simply said. You raised an eyebrow, not knowing what she was talking about. “The day after Tony told us about the premiere, I found Bucky doing some research on Harry Styles.”
“What?” You asked even more confused.
“Steve mentioned him, remember? That he will be at the premiere and that you have a crush on him”, she explained.
“So what? I have a crush on half of Hollywood”, you laughed. That was true. You were such a fangirl.
“Yeah, but you haven’t met half of Hollywood”, she shrugged.
“Nat, that doesn’t make any sense”, you said. “Why would he be jealous of someone I haven’t even met and someone I don’t even know if I will meet.”
“Oh, you will meet him”, Nat nodded. “I’ll make sure of that, don’t worry.” You laughed but said nothing, since you knew she could really make that happen. “And he’s jealous because he is in love with you. I already told you.
“Okay, I’m not having that conversation again”, you said. “I’m going to sleep, we have an early morning and a long flight tomorrow. So goodnight.”
“Are you kicking me out?” She asked, acting offended.
“Yes, Black Widow. Get out of my room and close the door on your way out”, you said, kicking her back gently.
“You know I’m the only one standing between you and a marriage with Harry Styles, right?” She said getting up from your bed.
“Yeah, you and a billion of other girls. Go!”
Next day you and Steve were the first ones to be ready and were already waiting by the mini van that would take you to the airport, where Tony’s private jet was waiting for you. As usual, everyone else was running late, which was extremely annoying to Steve. It was annoying for you too, but you had got used to it.
“They are waiting for us. We were supposed to be at the plane 10 minutes ago”, he said.
“We could just go and leave them here”, you shrugged. “That would teach them something.”
“As tempting as that sounds…” Steve said, making you laugh.
Finally, you heard people coming down the stairs, so you took your things from the floor, glad that you would be on your way. Wanda and Natasha were the first ones to show up, apologising over and over again and coming up with lame excuses that you had heard a million times before. To your surprise, Bucky was just behind them.
You hadn’t talked to him since last night, when you snapped at him, but you had seriously thought that he would stay behind, sulking. And yet, there he was, carrying a travel bag over his shoulder and looking as he had to go to war again.
“Where’s the rest?” Steve asked.
“Tony was just talking on the phone with the pilot, telling him we would be there in 30 minutes.” Steve huffed, obviously annoyed. “I know”, Natasha chuckled.
“Clint and Bruce called last night”, Wanda said. “They can’t make it. Clint’s wife has the flu and Bruce can’t leave the lab right now. They’re working on some healing serum.”
“Oh and Thor will meet us there”, Natasha added. “He sent a message and said he will be using the Bifrost. Parker has homework and we couldn’t contact anyone else.”
“Good”, Steve nodded.
“I’m going to the groceries store down the street to get some snacks. See you in a moment”, Wanda said.
“I’m coming with you”, Steve said. “I’m sick of waiting.”
“Me too! I want to get some magazines”, Natasha said.
You asked Steve to get you some of your favourite candy and soda. Although you knew you would have plenty on the plane, it was a long flight. The three of them left, leaving you and Bucky alone and in silence.
“So you decided to come?” You finally asked.
“I’ve never been to a premiere before, so”, he shrugged. “A new experience I guess”, he added.
“You could’ve started with that instead of whining about it for the whole week”, you said.
“Sorry about that”, he sighed. “I didn’t want to ruin it for anyone. I was being a jerk.”
“You think?” You said with irony and looked at him. He actually looked sorry, so you sighed and smiled a little. “I’m glad you’re coming.”
Bucky’s face lit up with a smile, obviously glad that you weren’t mad at him anymore. It was one of the few things he couldn’t stand: the thought of not having you in his life. For the first time in a few days, he came close to you and pulled you in for a hug, kissing your head in the process.
Everyone knew that Bucky wasn’t the hugging type, but you had always been the exception. He loved having you in his arms, cuddling with you, hugging you. It made him feel safe, home, and he had been through hell the last few days without your contact.
“Okay, I’m ready!” Tony said rushing downstairs. “The pilot said we have a really small window of time if we want to leave before noon. Where’s everyone?”
“They went to get some snacks. They said they would be waiting in the van”, you explained.
“Perfect, let’s go then. You can go back to your cuddling on the plane. You can even have a private room”, he said rushing into the elevator.
You rolled your eyes, but followed him anyway. You were used to his comments, even if they still made blush every single time.
***
Lights, cameras, excitement, screams, noise. Those were the words to describe the moment you got out of the car at Leicester Square. The place was completely packed, surrounded by screaming fans, reporters, photographers or just curious people who happen to go by the Square on that fine summer afternoon.
The red carpet followed all the way from where the cars were arriving, to the doors of the Odeon theatre, creating a path where you could see the actors, producers and anyone who had been invited coming up and down, saying their hellos to those they knew or stopping for photos and interviews. It was exciting.
Since you had been the first one to get into the car, you were the last one to get out of it and stand next to Wanda and Natasha. Steve, Bucky, Tony and Thor came in the following car. However, at the sight of you, there was a raise in the volume of the screams. It looked like your presence was a complete surprise for everyone.
“Should we go on?” You asked.
“Let’s wait for the rest”, Natasha said, smiling at some girls screaming her name.
You were aware of people knowing who you were, you knew you were on the news many times and you had seen some fan accounts about yourself. But you had never been exposed like this and you had to say that the energy was exhilarating.
“Get ready for the screams”, Wanda said when the guys’ car pull over behind you
You three took a step aside, so they could come out comfortably and waited. The reaction when Steve first came out of the car was out of this world. You could literally feel the ground beneath your feet shaking a little bit. And it only escalated when Thor, Bucky and, finally, Tony followed the Captain.
“Wow”, Steve said coming closer to you with a small smile.
“I know”, you chuckled looking around before focusing on Bucky, who was a bit stiff but looked at handsome as ever.
Since you had been running late, you hadn’t had the time to see him before leaving but he was… hot. He was wearing a pair of black trousers, a black open blazer revealing a white shirt that fit him perfectly. He had let Tony’s stylist to get his hair ready, giving it a ‘just woke up’ look that really suited him.
“Hey there”, you said coming closer to him. He looked down at you and gave you a forced smile. “You okay?”
“I’ve been better”, he admitted. “But I’ll be okay.”
“Call my name if you need me”, you said, squeezing his hand gently before turning around.
“(Y/N)!” You heard him calling. You turned around, confused. “I need you”, he said with a small childish smile.
“Idiot”, you said with a small smile. “I think you can make it through the carpet without me”, you winked.
Bucky looked at you walking away, holding onto Wanda’s arm as you stopped for your first interview. He couldn’t help smiling as he took in how good you looked. You were wearing a long white jumpsuit that hugged your body perfectly and brought out the tan that you had got over the days of summer you had spent at the beach just last week. Its back was open, which –for Bucky- made you look even better.
Above all, you were happy and it was obvious. You couldn’t stop smiling, laughing, charming everyone, especially Bucky.
“You’re drooling, soldier”, Thor said, taking Bucky out of his trance.
“What?” He asked.
“She looks stunning indeed”, Thor nodded. “I would make a move before anyone else does.”
The God of Thunder patted his back and was on his way. Maybe he was right. But he wouldn’t even know what to say if he gathered the courage to talk to you. For the time being, all he could do was move along the carpet and hope this all was over soon.
It wasn’t like you were the biggest fan of interviews, but you were good at them. You knew how to avoid personal questions and how not to give much information about anything. You were charming, polite and kind with everyone, laughing at their jokes and making your own. Summing up: you knew how to make people love you.
“Thank you for your time, enjoy the movie!” The reporter from The Guardian said.
“Thank you, have a nice evening”, you said back and turned around to talk to Wanda, but she was busy talking to some guy you had never seen.
“You’re a natural”, Natasha said, walking up to you when she finished taking some photos.
“Tony gave me some tips”, you shrugged. “I just did the opposite of what he told me.”
Natasha laughed out loud, but before she had the time to say anything, the screaming grew even louder. You both looked at the beginning of the carpet, where a black Mercedes had just stopped and a black haired boy had come out. He was talking to a really big guy so he wasn’t facing your way, but you knew who he was immediately.
“Pinch me”, you mumbled to Natasha.
“What?” She asked confused and looked at you. “Oh…”
Harry Styles had just turned around and was walking towards the carpet, followed by who probably was his bodyguard. You had been a One Direction fan for years and had had a crush on this person since the beginning. You had even been to some of their concerts –both in the band and as a solo artist-, but you had never had him so close before.
“Are you blushing?” Natasha laughed when she looked at you.
“What? No, I’m not!” You said, placing your hands on your cheeks. “Am I?”
“Either that or you used too much blush”, she said with a smile.
“Shut up”, you said. “Let’s just keep going before we look like idiots.”
“We?”
“Can you just be a bit more supportive?” You said. Just then, Wanda was back with you.
“Now I know why you have a crush on him”, she said with a smile. “He’s hot.”
“Shut up! Both of you”, you said and walked away from them before they continued teasing you.
For the next half hour of the premiere you were completely unfocused. So much that you decided to talk with as less reporters as possible, convinced that you would look like a fool if you did. Every few minutes, the volume of the screaming would go up, meaning that some other actor of the movie had made an appearance. You truly thought you would faint when you saw Cillian Murphy and Tom Hardy together.
“Enjoying yourself?” Steve asked when he caught you alone after you were taking some photos.
“Pretty much, yeah”, you nodded. “You?”
“Yeah”, he said looking around. “We don’t get to do this often, so it’s a nice change.”
“(Y/N), Captain! Can we please get some photos?” A reporter said.
“Duty calls” you said with a smile as Steve placed a hand around your waist, to pose for the cameras.
“Finally, I find you!”
You turned around and suddenly felt your hands all sweaty when you saw Natasha coming up to you, followed by Wanda and –of course- Harry. You glared at her, having no idea what she was doing.
“There’s someone here who wants to meet you”, your alleged friend said with a huge smile.
“Hello there”, Harry said with a charming smile.
You had heard his voice and his accents on videos before but you swore it was even deeper than ever before. You took a deep breath and looked briefly at your friends, who slowly stepped away with small smirks on their faces.
“Hi”, you said, a smile appearing on your lips. “Really nice to meet you.”
“Likewise”, he said. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Turns out that Nolan is friends with Tony Stark so…”, you shrugged.
“Well, I’ve been wanting to meet you for ages, so I’m glad he invited you all”, the singer said.
“You wanted to meet me? Why?” You laughed.
“You’re kidding me?” He smiled. “You’re an Avenger!”
You laughed a little and nodded to yourself. You guessed he had a point. You had been crushing on him for ages, but you had never thought of the possibility of him actually knowing who you were. And now that he was right there, in front of you, admitting to be your fan, you had no idea what to do.
Just like Bucky.
He had been watching the whole interaction from afar and he could feel his blood on fire. The only reason Bucky had decided to join the trip, was that he needed to see this guy. Your celebrity crush who you were laughing with. He clenched his fists and looked at all the cameras pointing at you two. Of course. You looked great together. You were both young, good looking, obviously charming. He had been around long enough to know that the public would pair you up immediately.
“You shouldn’t stare”, Steve said, coming to his side.
“I’m not”, Bucky mumbled.
“If it was possible, there would be a hole on that guy’s face”, Steve laughed. “They’re just talking. Calm down.”
“I’m calmed”, Bucky said. Steve sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. “What?”
“Do you realise that you have no right to be like this, don’t you?”
“Why not? Am I supposed to be okay with a British good looking guy just… charming her away from me?”
“No”, Steve replied. “But you have never told her how you feel, so she’s free to do whatever she wants.”
“You’re the one who never shuts up about her feelings for me”, Bucky said.
“So? You’ve never made a move, do you really expect her to wait forever?” Steve asked. “They’re just talking though”, he added with a shrug before walking away.
“Yeah… just talking”, Bucky sighed.
As much as he hated to admit it, Steve was right. Bucky couldn’t claim you anything. You didn’t even know how he felt about you, how he wanted more than just a friendship, how your smile would make his heart skip a beat and how not being able to kiss you was physically painful. And he hated himself for taking him so long to realise it. What if you were ready to move on?
“C’mon, this is your debut movie and you’ve worked with Cillian Murphy and Tom Hardy! Those are goals”, you said with a smile.
“You literally save lives for a living”, Harry replied and, to be honest, there was nothing you could say about that.
“I guess we’re both pretty awesome”, you said, making him laugh.
Just then, a man with a clipboard approached Harry from behind and said something in his ear. Harry nodded and looked at you.
“I have to go. They’re going to introduce the cast and everything”, he explained.
“Of course! Go”, you said with a nod.
“Talk to you later? We’ll have an after party, you should all come”, he said. You smiled and nodded. “Perfect. Here…” he gave you his phone. “Put your number in and I’ll text you.”
Without actually believing what was happening, you did as he told you and gave his phone back. He winked and left quickly towards the end of the carpet, where a stage had been set.
“Enjoying yourself?” You turned around to find Bucky behind you.
“Absolutely”, you smiled widely. “Although I’m freaking out.”
“Yeah, I saw you talking to that guy you like”, he said, looking at Harry who had just got to the stage.
There was something about his tone that you didn’t like. It was like he was accusing you of something, which you didn’t appreciate. He had no right to do so.
“If you have something to say, just say it”, you said crossing your arms over your chest.
“It just looks like you’re getting plenty of attention, that’s all”, he shrugged casually. Although you knew him well enough to know there was nothing casual about how he was behaving.
“Not from the only one that would matter”, you said and turned around without giving him a chance to think about what you had said.
Bucky kept his eyes on you while you walked away, trying to understand what you had just said and what it meant. Were you talking about him? Was he the one who mattered or was his mind playing games? He had no idea. All he knew was that you were upset with him and he knew he had been acting like a jerk for quite some time now.
Maybe Steve was right. Maybe you were tired of waiting. Maybe you were moving on.
***
Bucky’s attitude really pushed your buttons so much that you decided to keep your distance during the rest of the evening. He had been a total jerk since the moment Tony told you all about the premiere. You thought that the change of scenario would change his mind and he would relax. Obviously, you had been wrong.
The movie was everything you expected and more. It kept you on edge the whole time. The whole crew had done an outstanding job. It was definitely one of the best movies you had watched lately. And the whole situation of being one of the first people to watch it, only made it more special.
Before you could suggest going to the after party that Harry had mentioned –and already texted you about it-, Nolan himself invited you. So the moment the movie finished, you went on your way. It wasn’t far from Leicester Square, but it was still safer to go in the cars so no one would know where you were going and could have some privacy.
“So? Did you like it?”
Just when you walked into the party, Harry approached you, taking you by surprise.
“I loved it!” You said smiling widely. “And you were amazing”, you added.
“Thank you”, he nodded. “I’m proud of it, to be honest.”
“You really should be”, you said, biting your lip a little.
“Can I buy you a drink?” He asked, pointing at the bar at the end of the place.
“Please!”
Bucky observed the two of you walking towards the bar. He sighed and walked down the few steps that were next to the door. He was feeling more and more like an idiot since you walked away from him at the premiere, and he was still thinking about what you had said.
“You okay?” Natasha asked, showing up with a drink in her hand and another one for him.
“Thanks”, he said, taking the glass from her. “I’m okay, just…”, he sighed and pointed at you and Harry, who were talking and laughing at the bar.
“Oh…” Natasha smirked and looked at Bucky. “She’s having fun, don’t you think?”
“Why did you introduce them?” Bucky asked, turning away from the bar, so he could get that image out of his mind.
“She wanted to meet him but would have never introduced herself”, she said. “I just helped a little.”
“Thanks for nothing, then”, Bucky said.
“If you like her, go and tell her”, she said. “But don’t expect her to wait around forever when you have never made a move to let her know how you feel.”
“And how does she feel? Am I supposed to just jump into the swimming pool without knowing if there’s water?” Bucky asked.
“If you still don’t know that the pool is overflowing, then you’re even blinder than I thought you were”, Natasha said.
Bucky sighed and ran a hand over his head. Why did it have to be so complicated?
“What would you do?” He finally asked. As much as he hated asking for advice, he was completely lost.
“Me? I would go across the room and kiss her”, she simply said. “But given she’s busy talking to someone and also mad at you, I wouldn’t advice it.”
“Then?”
“I would talk to her and tell her how I feel”, she said. “Not as dramatic as a surprise kiss, but still honest and useful.”
Bucky sighed and turned slightly to look at you two again. When he didn’t see you, he started looking around like crazy. Where were you?
***
“I really was starving”, you said as you and Harry walked down the street with a burger each.
“Why didn’t you eat anything before the premiere?” He asked before taking a bite from his burger.
“It was the cinema. I thought we would get popcorns, to be honest”, you admitted, making him laugh so hard he almost choked. “Don’t laugh!” You said, although you were laughing as well.
“You’re adorable”, he said, making you blush a little.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go indoors?” You asked once again. You didn’t want him to be on every page tomorrow, especially because of you.
“Don’t worry about it”, he said. “I’m having a good time.”
“Me too”, you admitted. Then, you felt your phone vibrating into your purse. “Give me a second.”
Harry took your burger so you could get your phone out. It surprised you to see Bucky’s name on the screen. Your first impulse was to pick it up, but then you remembered that you were still mad at him and decided to decline the call. You turned your phone off, shoved it back into your purse and took your burger back from Harry.
“Everything okay?” He asked concerned.
“It was Bucky just being annoying”, you said.
“I kind of saw how he kept on looking at you”, he said. You looked at him surprised.
“What do you mean?” You asked.
“Let’s say he has a really deathly glare”, he said with a chuckle. “If looks could kill, I would be ten feet under by now.”
“What? No”, you laughed.
“Trust me, I know what I saw”, Harry said. “He likes you.”
You frowned but said nothing about it. It was one thing having Natasha telling you about Bucky’s feelings. But if even Harry, a person who had zero contact with any of you, who knew nothing of you or Bucky, had seen that… then maybe Natasha never lied and Bucky did have feelings for you.
That thought would have filled you with joy at any other moment. But thinking about it now, it only made you angry and frustrated. Why did he have to be such an idiot if he had feelings for you? Why couldn’t he just make a move? Or where you supposed to just take a leap of faith?
“Sorry. I said too much”, Harry said after a moments of silence.
“No, no”, you quickly said. “Everything’s okay. It’s just…” you sighed.
“Do you have feelings for him?” He asked. You laughed bitterly. “What?”
“I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you. My celebrity crush since I was 17”, you said. This time, Harry laughed quietly.
“Don’t worry”, he said. “I knew you were out of my league since I saw you and now I understand why.”
“Me? Out of your league?” You asked shocked and he nodded.
“There’s no competition if you already love someone else, don’t you think?” He asked with a smile.
“Am I that obvious?” You said defeated.
“I’m observant”, he shrugged. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I just don’t get him”, you said. “We’ve been best friends for ages and I’ve loved him all along without saying anything. I got used to idea of just being his friend and the second I mention someone else, someone who I hadn’t even met yet, and he starts acting like a total jerk. If he have feelings for me, why doesn’t he just say so?”
“Sadly, sometimes we have to see those we love walk away in order to know how much we care”, Harry said. “I think you should talk to him.”
“And say what? That I know he has feelings for me because my crush suspects it?” You asked sarcastically.
“Well… that’s an option”, he said, making you laugh. “But I would just be honest and tell him how I feel.”
You sighed but didn’t reply. You couldn’t believe you were having this conversation with Harry Styles, the guy you had admired most in your entire life, the guy you had fantasied about meeting a thousand times. And there he was, giving you romantic advice on how to talk to your best friend. Life was nuts.
***
Bucky was going nuts. The moment he had walked around the party twice, not finding you anywhere, he had stepped outside to call you. And he got sent to voicemail. Over and over again. You didn’t just hang up on him, you had also turned your phone off. He was fuming.
Without saying a word to anyone, he took a taxi and went back to the hotel where you were staying. At some point, you had to come back, and he would be waiting for you just at your door. While he waited, he tried to call you at least five times without any success, he was filling your voicemail with nonsense but he didn’t care.
“I swear it, (Y/N), if you don’t pick up the damn phone”, he said on the phone, “I will-“
“You will what?” Your voice said behind him.
He turned around to find you standing there, as beautiful as ever, with the card of your room in your hand, and looking at him with a deadly look in your eyes.
“Where have you been? Where did you go?” He asked, putting his phone down and ignoring your question.
“Last time I checked, you’re not my father, so I don’t have to explain myself to you”, you said, walking to your door.
“You were with him, right? That British singer”, he said while you opened the door.
“So what if I was?” You asked walking in. You considered slamming the door shut, but you knew him well enough to know that he had no problem breaking in, so you just left the door open for him.
“You just met him”, he said, walking in behind you and closing the door.
“What does that even mean?” You asked, throwing the purse on your bed and turning to face him. “Yes, I left with him to have dinner, so what?”
“Something could have happened”, he said with a shrug.
“Something like what? He could have kissed me?” You asked. You could see him flinching at the word. “What’s the problem, James?”
Bucky narrowed his eyes. You would only call him James when you were really mad at him.
“Did he? Kiss you?” He asked.
“What if he had?” You asked.
“Did he?”
You looked at him in the eye, feeling yourself getting angrier by the second. All you wanted was to scream in his face how much you loved him, that he was the only one you wanted to kiss, that you had spent the whole fucking night thinking about him and talking about him to someone else. Instead, you shook your head and sat down on your bed to take off your heels. Your feet were killing you.
“You haven’t replied”, he said.
“Neither have you”, you said.
“I asked first”, he shrugged. Without even thinking about it, you threw one of your shoes at him. “Hey! What’s your problem?”
“What’s my problem?” You asked getting up, now barefoot. “What’s your problem? Why can’t you just be clear? Just say what the fuck you’re thinking instead of being a jerk!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”, he said, looking away from you. Narrowing your eyes, you took a step closer.
“Do you love me?” You finally asked.
“You know I do”, he said, his heart beating faster.
“Don’t bullshit me, James. You know what I mean”, you said. “Are you in love with me?”
Bucky took a deep breath and closed his eyes, not answering your question. The words were burning in his throat, and yet he couldn’t say them out loud.
“Fucking hell, Bucky!” You almost yelled, pushing him away. “Can’t you even talk? Just say no, for fuck’s sake! I can take it, you know? It’s not that hard to be honest for once in your fucking life. If you’re not in love in with me, if you don’t love me, just leave me be! Stop being an asshole and let me kiss and like whoever I want!”
“I can’t”, he said.
“You can’t what? Stop being an asshole? I noticed, thank you”, you said.
“I can’t just leave you be!” He exclaimed, looking at you. “Because it kills me, okay? I’d rather go through a thousand battles and getting a billion injuries, traumas and brainwashes before seeing you with someone else, okay?”
You looked at each other in the loudest silence you had ever experienced.
“You…” he sighed. “You are everything to me, don’t you see? I’ve been miserable for the whole week and the only way I know how to handle it is being an asshole. And maybe I’m late, maybe I should’ve spoken sooner, maybe I should’ve gone across the room and kiss you in front of everyone, but I am here now and I’m saying it now.” He placed his hands on your cheeks. “I love you, (Y/N). I am in love with you. Hopelessly. I love you so much it drives me crazy. You drive me crazy.”
“And you have to be a jerk to show it? Couldn’t you just kiss me and get it over with?” You mumbled, looking into his blue eyes with tears in your eyes.
“You were kind of busy all night”, he said. “I’m a jerk, but I’m a polite jerk.”
You laughed a little and moved your hands to his chest, wondering if what he was saying was real and if it was just another one of your dreams.
“You could kiss me now”, you shrugged.
Bucky smiled a little and you bit your lip when he leaned over slightly, taking in your whole face before closing his eyes. Immediately, you felt his lips on yours and your mouth opened to receive him as he pulled you closer. The whole world around you disappeared and all you could feel and smell was Bucky. Nothing else mattered.
“I’m sorry it took me so long”, he whispered when you pulled away.
“You’re forgiven”, you smiled a little and rubbed his cheek. “By the way… he didn’t kiss me”, you said.
“Really?” He asked, sounding really surprised.
“Yeah”, you laughed. “We were just talking about you, to be honest”, you admitted.
“Wow…you really missed the chance of making out with your crush for me…” he teased. “You must really love me, huh?”
“Shut up”, you smiled, pulling him in for another kiss. And, for once, Bucky was happy to oblige.
Notes: this was writen in 3rd person because I found it easier to write :) it’s been a while since I wrote for Mr Styles but when WS video came out I had to write something. I hope you like it! Leave a comment and/or reblog!
Masterlist
She opened the door of her apartment and walked in, breathing heavily and all sweaty. The weather in L.A. had been quite hot the last few days, which had made her morning jogs a bit more challenging. All she could think about was the cold bottle of water she had in the fridge and the shower she was about to get.
(Y/N) had lived in Los Angeles for six years. She moved from San Diego when she decided to pursue her dream as an actress and, to be honest, she wasn’t doing as bad as her mother told her she could do. She hadn’t been in any big production, but her agent kept on telling her that she was in the right track.
She had been in several ads, some music videos and even as an extra in a couple of TV shows. She knew her big chance would come and just had to be patient. Sadly, patience didn’t pay the bills, so she was also working as a waitress. It hadn’t been easy to find a job where they would allow her to take a random day off for an audition or to film something, but her friend Kelly worked there as well and had put a great word for her. She would always be thankful.
(Y/N) checked the time and sighed when she saw that she had less than an hour and a half to get to work. She drunk the water she was craving and hurried to get to the shower. Twenty minutes later, she was already drying her hair and got dressed with some dark jeans and a sweater. She would change into her work uniform when she got to the restaurant, so she didn’t pay too much attention to what she was wearing.
She heard the familiar ding of her phone, telling her she had a text message. It was probably Kelly.
I’ll be there in 10. Be ready, xx
Kelly picked her up almost every single day to go to work, which (Y/N) deeply appreciated. Even though she had her license, she couldn’t afford to buy a car and having someone driving her was way more comfortable than using the public transport. Running around her one-room apartment, (Y/N) collected the few things she would need: wallet, phone and charger. She threw everything into her black bag and hurried out of the door, locked it and went downstairs.
Her shift went by as usual. Since it was Tuesday, a work and a school day, there weren’t many clients. Weekends were another story. She used to do extra hours due to the number of customers they had. Not that day. She finished her shift at 4 p.m., as usual, and waited for Kelly to finish changing so she would drive (Y/N) home.
She was patiently waiting, scrolling down her Instagram feed, when she saw a photo of Gemma and Anne. She smiled sweetly and liked it. She didn’t talk to Gemma as much as they did when (Y/N) was dating Harry, but they still were in touch and talked from time to time. They had connected the very first moment Harry introduced them almost two years ago, short after they got together and the last time they had seen each other was four months ago, a month before the breakup.
Their relationship had been one of the best (Y/N) had ever had. Harry was the sweetest and most caring guy she had ever met. He had always been there for her, making sure she was okay, even spoiling her when she allowed it. And even when she didn’t. Everyone in their inner circle kept on saying that they were the perfect match for each other. Harry was the calm that (Y/N) needed and she was the light in his lonely life.
At least until she wasn’t.
(Y/N) shook her head, pushing the thoughts away and got out of the app. She was about to lock it when it started to buzz. The name of her agent appeared on the screen, which made (Y/N)’s heart stop for a second. Maya would only call if there was a job for her. Immediately she picked it up.
“Hey there, girl”, (Y/N) said trying to sound chilled, although she was biting her nails. A nasty habit she couldn’t shake.
“How’s my favourite future Hollywood princess?” Maya said on the other side, making (Y/N) laugh.
“She just left the castle where she’s held by the evil stepmother”, she said looking at the door of the restaurant.
“Joanna was in today?” Maya asked, referring to (Y/N)’s manager.
Joanna was a forty-years old woman who happened to be one of (Y/N)’s manager. It could be said that their relationship wasn’t the best.
“Yeah”, (Y/N) sighed. “She made it impossible, as usual. But I’m used to her by now.”
“Well, I have something that will cheer your whole day up”, she said, not wasting anymore time.
“I’m all ears”, (Y/N) said with a big smile.
“Music video. In two days. Malibu”, Maya said.
“I love music videos!”
And she did. They were so much fun to film and it was an easy to make money. There wasn’t much acting involved, but she had always met the most decent people in those crews. Plus, she had got to meet some really big celebrities.
“I know you do, girl, that’s why I thought of you the moment this came to my table”, Maya said. “You want it?”
“Who’s the singer?” (Y/N) asked.
“They haven’t said it”, Maya said, which made (Y/N) sigh in annoyance. “I know, but you know how some of them are with their privacy and secrecy.”
“Yeah, yeah”, she said. “I just like knowing who I work for, you know?”
“All I got is that is a guy and I only know it because they referred him as ‘him’”, Maya said. “So…?”
“I’ll be there, no problem”, (Y/N) said anyway. Even if she would rather know who her employer was, she still needed the money.
“Perfect. Come by the office tomorrow morning so we can get the paperwork done, okay?” Maya said.
“10 a.m.?”
“Make it 11. I have a meeting at 9 that looks like a long one”, Maya said.
“Okay, got it. Tomorrow at 11 a.m. Thanks, Maya. You’re a lifesaver”, (Y/N) said just when Kelly walked out of the restaurant. She looked pissed and (Y/N) didn’t even need to ask why.
“I love you too. See you tomorrow!”
“Okay, bye!” (Y/N) hung up, locked the phone and put it into her bag. “What happened?” She asked.
“Joanna happened”, she sighed. “She came to me complaining about the state of some tables! I wasn’t even in charge of that area. Roger was”, she explained as they started making their way to the car. “But of course, dear Roger will never get scolded.”
“How can they be so obvious?” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.
“I hate favouritisms”, Kelly said. “Anyway, who were you talking to?”
“Maya”, (Y/N) smiled. “She got a job for me. Music video in Malibu on Thursday.”
“Great!” Kelly exclaimed. “Who’s the singer?”
“No idea. Maya said they wanted to keep it a secret”, she shrugged. “Seriously, it’s so annoying when they do that. I know they want to avoid anyone talking and ending up with fans at the set but c’mon. We’re adults here.”
“Not everyone is an adult”, Kelly said, still angry at Joanna.
“Good point”, (Y/N) sighed. “I took it, of course. I need the money. But still.”
“It will be okay”, Kelly said unlocking the car. “Do you mind going to Target for a minute? I need to get some stuff.”
“No problem.”
***
“I don’t understand how you always talk me into this”, Kelly said before taking the straw in her mouth again.
After going to Target (Y/N) had casually mentioned how she was craving something sweet. As usual, Kelly said she was on a diet but, to be honest, she had been on a diet ever since they met. It didn’t take too much convincing to get to Cocobella Creamary. Kelly ordered a banana and strawberry smoothie and (Y/N) ordered an Oreo Frappuccino.
“You didn’t have to order anything”, (Y/N) shrugged.
“It’s weird if I just sit here without anything”, Kelly said.
“I’ve done it sometimes”, (Y/N) said.
“Weird I said”, Kelly said, making (Y/N) laugh and nod. “You know what I was thinking?”
“Strike me.”
“Who the singer of the video might be”, Kelly said with her eyes narrowed.
“Some diva probably. Those are the ones who don’t want to say who they are in my experience”, (Y/N) said.
“I think it might be Harry.”
(Y/N) almost choked on her Frappuccino when Kelly said that. She coughed, covering her mouth, until her eyes got all watery. Kelly was quick to ask for some water to the waitress who came back running to the table. Thankful, she took the glass and drank a little.
“Thanks”, she told the girl, who looked relieved to see that a customer wasn’t going to die on her shift. When she walked away, (Y/N) looked at Kelly who was obviously almost laughing. “Not funny.”
“I just said his name”, she said with a funny smile.
“Unexpected. That’s all”, (Y/N) sighed. “And it’s not his video.”
“He’s in town and there are rumours he will make a video for Watermelon Sugar”, Kelly shrugged.
“Unrelated”, (Y/N) shrugged. Kelly looked at her with an eyebrow raised. “It’s not him. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, fine. But that doesn’t make the chance go away”, Kelly said.
(Y/N) glared at her friend but decided not to say anything. Instead, she drank from her Frappuccino while looking out of the window. She didn’t even know Harry was in town. It wasn’t a surprise since he spent so much time there. Honestly, she had been to London in the time they were together and she couldn’t understand why he preferred Los Angeles. Yes, the weather was way better, but there was something much more appealing about England. However, Harry had always loved the west coast.
Actually, she knew that if it wasn’t because of how fond Harry was of L.A. they would have never met. Although since they broke up, she wished he wasn’t around so often. It wasn’t like they had ever run into each other at a party or anything -she avoided those unless she had a reason to be there- but knowing that he was in Los Angeles made her feel anxious. She wasn’t ready to see him again.
When Kelly dropped her off in front of her apartment, (Y/N) felt exhausted. So she went straight to the her couch, laid down and turned on the TV as she silenced her phone. She needed a bit of quite time every time she came back from work. The restaurant got so loud sometimes that it could be too much, so she loved the quietness that her apartment offered.
Next morning, when she went by her agent’s office to sign the contract, she looked for any sign that would tell her who the artist was but there was nothing. Maya knew nothing. (Y/N) would be lying if she said she hadn’t been thinking about what Kelly had said, but she refused to believe that it was Harry. It would be too much of a coincidence.
Knowing that racking her brain wouldn’t help, she decided to just forget about it. There was no way of knowing who the singer was if he or she didn’t want anyone to know, so she decided to take the day to relax and be ready for the video.
Maya texted her that night to tell her that she had to be on set at 10 a.m., so she would send a car at 9.15 a.m. so make sure she was on time. (Y/N) laughed a little. Maya and her had been working together long enough to know that punctuality wasn’t (Y/N)’s strongest suit.
Thanks to that, she managed to get to set fifteen minutes before ten, which gave her plenty of time to order a coffee at the Caffe Luxxe. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, it was a bit windy but not enough to make it uncomfortable, it was warm but not hot. It was perfect.
Once her order was given to her, she crossed the road towards where all the crew trailers were. If she had been paying attention to her surroundings, she would have seen the small group of nervous girls who looked like they were waiting for someone, but she was focused on her phone, answering a text from Kelly who was wishing her good luck.
She looked around the beach and smiled. She had always loved the ocean. Her father was a great surfer, even though she had never been able to even stand on the board, and he used to take her to the ocean every day he went to train. She had basically grown up in the water and all she knew was that, no matter where she lived, she needed the ocean nearby.
“May I help you?”
(Y/N) turned around, startled, to the man who had talked to her. He was in his late thirties probably and was carrying a binder with a pair of headphones on top of it. He was probably part of the crew.
“Hi! My name is (Y/N)”, she said, quickly looking in her bag for the identification badge that Maya had given her the previous day. Try to find it while she was holding the coffee was tricky. “I’m in the video.”
“Do you have any sort of…?”
“Here!” She finally said, taking it out of a small pocket. She handed it to him with a big smile.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N)”, he said and opened the binder. “Here you are”, he nodded. “You need to go to trailer number 2 to get ready. We’ll start as soon as possible.”
“Okay, thank you”, she said taking the badge back from him. “Where’s the trailer?”
“That one”, he said pointing to one of the trailers that were parked next to the road.
“Thank you”, (Y/N) said again. “Will we be shooting here the whole day?” She asked, out of curiosity.
“Half of it. Then we will move to another location”, he informed her.
“Good”, she nodded. “Thanks again.”
(Y/N) hooked the identification on her bag, in case someone else asked for it, and made her way to the trailer.
“Coming through!”
She stopped on her tracks to let a man pushing a cart full of watermelons walk in front of her. What the hell? She chuckled to herself, wondering what the music would even be about, and walked towards the trailer. Since the door was opened, she just walked in while she sipped on her coffee. There were six chair lined up in there, with four of them already occupied by other girls who immediately looked at her.
“Hi”, (Y/N) smiled nicely. “I hope I’m not late”, she added.
“Hello there!” A red-headed woman said, hurrying over her. “Not at all, darling”, she said with a thick British accent. “I’m Martha, I’m in charge of make up and hair”, she introduced herself.
“Nice to meet you”, (Y/N) said, shaking Martha’s hand.
“Come and sit right here and one of my girls will be with you in a second”, she said pointing to one of the chairs. “We’re right on schedule but the faster to get to it, the sooner the show can start.”
(Y/N) decided she liked Martha. She looked like an easy-going person who loved her job. It was obvious she didn’t spend much time out of the UK because of her accent and the lack of tan on her skin, so probably she had come all the way to the States because of the video. (Y/N) wondered why the singer had made someone come all the way from Europe. The thought that Kelly had put in her head appeared again, but she pushed it down.
Once (Y/N) was settled, she finally looked at the rest of the girls to introduce herself, although she didn’t expect them to be already staring at her like they already knew her.
“We know”, one of the girls said. “You’re his ex.”
“Excuse me?” (Y/N) chuckled.
“Good morning, everyone!”
That voice made (Y/N) freeze. She would recognize that deep voice and that accent anywhere in the world even when she hadn’t listened to it in three months. When she looked at the door of the trailer, her heart started speeding and her stomach twisted when she saw Harry Styles walking in, wearing that dimpled smile he would always have.
She would have loved to go unnoticed, but suddenly she dropped her cup of coffee, spilling it everywhere and becoming the centre of attention.
“Damn it”, she said getting up, since she was now covered in the black liquid.
“(Y/N)?”
She gulped. She had always loved the way he said her name and it looked like it hadn’t changed. She still felt goose bumps. Taking a deep breath, (Y/N) looked up to meet those green eyes that, even in the distance that separated them, made her feel like he was looking into her soul.
“Hi”, was all she was able to say.
***
Harry thought he was having visions.
He had woken up that day full of energy, excited to shoot the video for Watermelon Sugar. It had the potential to be his favourite video yet and he couldn’t wait to see the result, although it would still be some time before it was released it.
As usual, he had been involved in the whole process: from choosing the location, the people in the video, the storyline, everything. That’s why he was so shocked to see his ex in that trailer. He hadn’t chosen her, so what was she doing there?
He was completely blank, but he could feel all eyes on both of them, which was only making the situation worse. He looked at the rest of the girls, whose eyes were going from him to (Y/N), like they were waiting for some kind of drama to explode. Harry couldn’t let that happen.
So he took a deep breath and forced himself to smile again and greet everyone, acting like (Y/N) wasn’t there. Luckily, she was seated on the last chair, so when he had welcomed and introduced himself to everyone, he faced her again.
Since Harry started saying hello to everyone, (Y/N) just sat on her chair, her face burning and fighting the urge to run away. Every single time he talked, she shivered, remembering all those times he would whisper sweet secrets in her ear at night. She could feel him approaching and yet, she couldn’t look up. Not until she knew she had to.
Taking a deep breath, she looked up to find him looking straight at her through the mirror. She gulped and looked up, to see him directly.
“Can we talk?” He asked. “Outside.”
“Yeah”, she nodded and got up. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to hide.
(Y/N) was first to walk out of the trailer and she breathed deeply, letting the air get into her lungs like she had been holding her breath for minutes. She heard Harry walking out as well before he grabbed her wrist.
“Come with me, please”, he asked her.
Harry let go of her wrist, feeling his hand burning at the contact, and started walking towards his own trailer. It was the only place where they could talk without being seen by some busybody paparazzi. He didn’t even have to look back to know if she was following. He could feel her presence. When they got to Harry’s trailer, he opened the door and let her walk in first.
“What are you doing here?” He asked straight.
“What do you think I’m doing here?” She asked back. “Same thing you do. Working.”
“But I… I didn’t pick you.”
(Y/N) clenched her jaw at that, to try and act like it hadn’t hurt her. She knew what he meant by that, but it still wasn’t a nice thing to say. It wasn’t the first time Harry hadn’t picked her and the memory still stung.
“I figured”, she sighed, blinking away the tears that threated to come out. “My agent called me yesterday and told me about this.”
“And you said yes? Knowing it was me?” He asked frowning.
“I didn’t know it was you, smartass. She didn’t know either”, she said. “Trust me, I wouldn’t have come if I knew.”
Harry looked away at that. Even when he knew how mad she was, knowing it hurt.
“That’s nice”, he chuckled.
“Excuse me? You’re the one who didn’t pick me and I’m the nice one here?”
“Did you want me to pick you?”
I wanted you to do it when it mattered, she thought.
“I didn’t even know you were in the States!” She exclaimed. “Don’t blame me on this, Harry. Maybe some of your picked ones got sick or couldn’t make it and they called me. What were the chances of me being your ex-girlfriend?”
Harry didn’t want to admit how it still hurt to think of her as that, even though he knew it was his fault. He messed up and she broke up with him. He couldn’t deny it, but it still hurt.
He took a deep breath with his hands on his hips and he looked down. He couldn’t send her away, of course, but he couldn’t picture working with her for a whole day. Not when he knew he wasn’t over her. Not even a bit. However, he had to keep things professional like he had always done.
“Okay”, he sighed. “You’re here and there’s nothing we can do.”
“Exactly”, she nodded.
“We’ll just do our jobs and…”, he shrugged. “Move on at the end of the day.”
“Sounds like a plan”, she nodded, trying not to show how his words were hurting her.
“Good”, he said quietly.
“I gotta get ready”, she said and walked to the door, but she stopped when she remembered something. “Why so many watermelons?”
“Oh… the song is Watermelon Sugar and the concept is…well…”, he blushed a little. “I told you the concept when I wrote the song.”
(Y/N) blushed immediately as memories came to her head. Memories of an afternoon in Italy, in a yacht rented by Harry. Memories of Harry in between her legs, claiming how good she tasted. Later that day, (Y/N) had found Harry writing the song.
“Oh…”, was all she was able to say.
(Y/N) hurried out of his trailer and went back to number two, where she had to face the looks of the other girls again. Only this time she barely paid attention to them, she was busy trying to control the beast that had gotten lose in her stomach. A feeling that only Harry had ever managed to cause in her.
Harry took a deep breath when (Y/N) left his trailer. He knew he wasn’t over her, but he would have never imagined how much seeing her would affect him. And now they had to spend a whole day together doing this video. Precisely… this video. He knew it was going to drive him crazy, but he had to keep it together and be professional, like he always was.
Soon after, Harry started filming the solo parts of the video. Although there weren’t many of them, it still took a couple of hours before the girls were called on set. He tried to act natural, but he couldn’t help looking for (Y/N) and, once he saw her his jaw fell. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts with the top of a pinkish bikini. On top of her head, were a couple of heart-shaped sunglasses.
“First, thank you all for coming!” The director said when they were all gathered around him. “You all know the concept of the video since I’ve explained earlier.”
(Y/N) gulped and looked at Harry carefully. She couldn’t believe she had been chosen to be a part of this video. She was going to have to touch him, kiss his cheek, being closer to him than what she expected. There was no way she would have been prepared for it even if she knew what she was getting into.
The director explained what scenes they were going to do at the moment and they all went to their positions. However, when (Y/N) was walking towards the rest of the girls, Harry blocked her way.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked looking down at her. She sighed and looked at the crew, who was looking at them.
“We have to”, she shrugged. “It’s our job.”
Harry nodded and took a deep breath before stepping aside. They had to do this. He watched her while she joined the rest of the crew who were already lying down on the sand, on the towels they had been given. Before he joined them, they had to do some parts of them alone, so he just stood there watching. Watching her.
He smiled a little when he saw her taking a watermelon and playfully putting in between her open legs, a gesture that brought so many memories to his head. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her acting. He had always loved how carefree she was when she was in front of a camera. It was obvious how happy that made her.
“Okay, Harry, come here!” Brad, one of the directors said. “Lay there in that towel, in the middle of everyone.”
Harry nodded and walked to the towel, noticing just before laying down that it was (Y/N) who was just next to him. She was wearing that glasses and he saw how juicy her lips looked due to the watermelon slice she was eating. He tried to keep his thoughts away from that, but it was so damn hard when she looked so beautiful.
“Nice glasses”, he said when she caught him looking. A small smile appeared on her lips.
“Thanks”, she said. “Here, take them”, she said, taking them off and going closer to him.
He hadn’t even noticed the music playing again nor the camera rolling. All he could see and think about was (Y/N) putting the glasses on for him. He gulped and smiled a little.
“Looking good, Styles”, she said with a smile.
“Thanks, (Y/L/N)”, he winked.
Another girl, named Cassy if he remembered correctly, touched his shoulder and offered him a piece of watermelon, which he took immediately with a smirk. (Y/N) chuckled a little and kept on doing what she had been told: flirting and teasing. It was obvious that the whole idea of the video came from Harry. He was a flirt and a tease himself.
After doing some shots like that, they were told to come closer together to have some images of everyone together. The chances weren’t high but (Y/N) ended up just next to Harry. She gulped when she saw how good he was looking. Just then he looked at her, with that naughty grin that always drove her crazy.
“I don’t know if I could ever go without…”, he mouthed along with the song, looking at her.
Without even thinking about it, she placed a hand on his other cheek and planted a slow and sensual kiss on his cheek that made his grin go even bigger. Then she took the sunglasses from him and put them on. Immediately, he tried to take them back but she moved away, now that they were all separated again, and winked again.
(Y/N) loved these kind of music videos. The ones without actual choreography where they could just do as they pleased while the music was on. Although this time she wasn’t even noticing the effect it was having on her. She would have never imagined how happy she would feel for messing around with Harry like nothing ever happened. She couldn’t deny how she felt every time they touched or every time he looked at her. Harry had always made her feel like she was the only girl in the room with just one look and he was doing it again.
“Are you okay?” He asked when they were taking a break after being in the water goofing around.
“Yeah”, she nodded. “Although I don’t know if I can eat any more watermelons”, she joked, making him laugh.
“Maybe I went a bit too far with that”, he nodded.
“Are you okay?” (Y/N) asked after a few moments of silence.
“Better than I’ve been in a while”, he honestly said, looking at her. “You’re doing great, by the way”, he added. “And you look great.”
“Thanks”, she smiled a little and looked down. He took that moment to take the glasses from her head. “Hey!”
“Sorry, they’re too good”, he said and put them on. “And I look great in them.”
“I found them!” She laughed and tried to take them from him.
Harry was taller than her, so it wasn’t hard for him to keep (Y/N) from taking the glasses. However, keeping balance on the sand wasn’t easy, so the moment he tried to take a step back, he tripped over and fell down on his back, laughing out loud and bringing her with him since he was holding her hand to keep her away from the glasses.
“Damn it”, she laughed, laying next to him. “Give them back.”
“Take them”, he challenged her with a smile.
(Y/N) bit her lip when their eyes met. There was that childish humour in his eyes that made her feel like everything was possible. Not saying anything, she took the glasses from him and put them on her head, using them to keep her hair back. Harry sighed and, slowly, placed a hand on her cheek.
“I missed you”, he whispered. (Y/N) closed her eyes with his touch. “I missed this”, he added before leaning closer.
“Don’t…”, she whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder gently.
“Please, (Y/N)”, he said.
“You hurt me, Harry”, she said, taking his hand. “You said you couldn’t make it here for my birthday and the day before I found you in that club with Camille?”
“I know I fucked up”, he said. “But we never did anything, I wouldn’t do that. Not to you. Ever.”
“It really looked like you had done it”, (Y/N) said sitting up as memories came to her head.
“I know”, he said doing the same. “But I swear I didn’t do it.”
“Then what were you doing there with her after telling me you couldn’t even come from London?” She asked.
“I…”, he sighed and looked down at his hands. “I wanted to surprise you for your birthday. I arrived in the States two days before but the plan was to appear on your door the morning of your birthday, so I stayed at James’. Camille called and she told me to have dinner with her. You know we’re friends so I said yes, and then she asked me to stop by a friend’s party. It was going to be just five minutes and it was. And that’s where you saw me.”
(Y/N) was speechless. When they broke up, he never explained any of this to her. He just let her think the worse of him and went away. Now that she knew what had really happened, she didn’t know if she could believe him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked.
“I knew you wouldn’t believe me”, he shrugged. “I saw in your face that you had already made up your mind.”
“So you decided not to fight for us? For what we had?”
“Would you have listened?” He asked, looking at her.
“Yes”, she immediately said, but she knew it wasn’t true. And he knew it too, judging by the look he gave her. “Eventually at least”, she sighed. “I had the right to know.”
Harry sighed and placed his arms on his knees, picking on the nail polish he was using. He knew she was right. He should’ve explained everything to her, but he had been so angry at her for not trusting him that he thought there was no point on even trying. Of course, he regretted it the moment he set foot back in England. By then, it was already too late and (Y/N) wouldn’t even answer the phone.
“Will you even consider us again?” He asked, not daring to look at her.
“I don’t know. And I can’t think about it right now, Harry”, she said. “We still have work to do and, maybe, when we’re done… I’ll think about what you’ve said.”
Harry nodded but didn’t look at her. He heard her getting up and walking away from her, so he finally looked up to see her walking away. He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He had been such an idiot. He should’ve talked sooner. Instead, he had lost the best thing that ever happened to him. Idiot.
(Y/N) tried to ignore the looks she was receiving and just walked into the trailer she had been assigned to that morning. She didn’t know what to think about what Harry had just told her. She wished she had known sooner. It would have changed everything. Maybe they would still be together. Or maybe not. But she had the right to know. Instead, he had chosen to go away without a fight. Did that mean that he didn’t care enough? Didn’t love her enough? (Y/N) didn’t know the answers to those questions. All she knew was that she wasn’t ready to think about it and she still had work to do that day.
The spent another hour filming at the beach before they moved to another location. Nobody, except for the filming team and Harry, knew where they were heading and definitely no one expected where they appeared. When (Y/N) recognised the house, another whole lot of memories hit her like a rock.
“We’ll be filming in the backyard!” Pablo, the other director, said when they all walked into the propriety. “So, please, follow Brad around the house and you’ll be given instructions.”
How many days had she spent in this place? How many nights? She couldn’t believe Harry had actually offered his own place to make a music video, given how private he was with his life. It actually made her think that he had acquired a new place, which wouldn’t be surprising at all. She looked at the door and sighed, remembering the last time she walked out of there.
They didn’t have to do much filming there. Actually, it was barely two hours before Pablo gave the final cut after they took a group photo in which (Y/N) managed to be as far from Harry as possible. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about what Harry had previously confessed and all she could think about was how much she had missed him and how happy he used to make her. If he was being honest and nothing happened with Camille… did he still love her? Would she be willing to give him another chance?
“Thank you so much everybody for joining me today!” Harry was saying. (Y/N) forced herself to focus. “It was great having you, you’ve been amazing and you’ve done an awesome job. Thank you for making this idea come true and thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Just like he had done at the beginning of the day, he went one by one thanking and saying goodbye to everyone. (Y/N) was tempted to just leave, but it would have been rude.
“Your house, huh?” She asked when he finally reached her.
“It has great views”, he shrugged. “And no one knows I live here, so…”
“No one?” She said with an eyebrow raised.
“Except you”, he nodded and crossed his arms. “Thank you for staying after you found out it was my video.”
“It’s my job”, she shrugged with a small smile. “And I had a really great time, so thank you for not kicking me out.”
“I’d never do that”, he said, making her smile. “Will I ever see you again?”
(Y/N) took a deep breath and looked away, not really knowing what to say. Well… she did know, but she didn’t know if it was right. She took the heart-shaped sunglasses from her head and looked at him. She had missed him so much and she knew he deserved the chance he should’ve gotten if he had been honest from the beginning.
She didn’t believe in signs or in destiny, but maybe getting that call from Maya was a sign of what was right.
“Here”, she said, offering them to him.
“They’re yours”, he frowned.
“Consider them a lend”, she smiled a little. “Plus, you can pull them off better than I do.”
“A lend?” He asked, taking the item from her hands with a small smile.
“Yeah”, she shrugged. “That way, you’ll have to give them back at some point.”
“Really?” He asked, his smile bigger now.
“Of course”, she said, smiling too. “Maybe tomorrow at 7? When I finish my shift?”
Harry felt his chest getting lighter with what she said. He took a deep breath and let out a loud relieved laughter. He nodded and bit his lip.
“I’ll be there”, he nodded.
“Be punctual”, she said before she started walking away.
“I’m British”, he shrugged, making her laugh. “(Y/N)!” He exclaimed. She stopped and turn around to see him looking at her with that smile that he had only for her. “I won’t let you down.”
(Y/N) bit her lip to fight a smile, but it was impossible. She felt happy, like everything was in place again. They could work it out.
Warning: angst and fluff. The best of both worlds.
Request: -
Tags: -
Notes: So I had this sitting on my laptop for quite some time now and I finally finished it. I know it’s long but I hope you like it anyway as much as I do. Please, leave some feedback! Thanks!
MASTERLIST
It was another cloudy day. Most of the days were cloudy after Thanos. You hadn’t seen the sun many times for almost four years and, when you did, it didn’t even feel the same. Something was missing. At first, you found it difficult to get out of bed. What was the point? Most of them were gone, including him. Bucky had disappeared with half of the population.
When Steve and the others came back from Wakanda and he delivered the news to you, at first you felt numb. You had spent hours watching on TV people becoming to dust and you hadn’t even considered the possibility of it happening to those close to you. It wasn’t until the team came back that you realised how bad it all was.
At first you thought there would be a quick way to fix everything. They were the Avengers, they could do anything. It wasn’t long before you lost all hope. Only when Tony came back there was a light of hope for everyone, but it faded soon. If Tony Stark couldn’t find a way, who could?
Days became weeks, and those became months. You barely left the compound, you barely ate, you didn’t work out anymore. You couldn’t find a reason to do it. Natasha kept on saying you had to move on or at least try it, but giving she wasn’t moving on either, she didn’t have much credibility and she knew it.
Three years later it was still all the same. You hadn’t heard from Rhodey in weeks, you knew Rocket was somewhere in space, although you didn’t know what he was doing. Tony had moved out of the city with Pepper after the wedding. Carol was around the universe doing all she could to keep everyone safe. Natasha stayed in the compound, checking with all of them for any sign of any help they could get. And Steve had moved to Brooklyn a few months after the Snap. Thor and Bruce? No one really knew what they were doing, but they both moved out of the compound as well. Apparently, Thor had to take care of their people and Bruce was busy treating “his anger issues”.
The only one who came back from time to time was Steve. He liked checking on both you and Natasha. Mostly you. After all, you had been his best friend’s girlfriend ever since he got out of the ice and he had promised himself to take care of you. He owed that much to Bucky.
“You know you should get out sometime” he told you one day, when he found you just lying on your bed going over the photos on your phone.
“I don’t feel like it”, you mumbled.
“I miss him too, you know?” He said finally walking into your room and leaving his jacket on keys on your dresser.
You looked at him for a moment. You had never talked about Bucky since the Snap and just the thought of it made your heart ache with all the memories. You hadn’t even been able to say goodbye. They had left in such a hurry that all you could do was give him a quick hug and quick kiss.
“But he wouldn’t want you to be like this. Not after so much time”, Steve said, taking a seat on the bed.
“It’s not like I have anything better to do” you said with a shrug.
“We could go and have lunch? There’s a great place in Queens…”
“I’m not interested in any great place in Queens, Steve”, you sighed.
“I know what you’re interested in and we both know we’ve tried everything to bring them back” he said with a more serious tone now. “You can’t just stay here forever, (Y/N). You’re consuming yourself. You’ve already lost three years of your life.”
You clenched your jaw and looked at the ceiling. You knew he was right and yet the idea of moving on felt like betraying Bucky. But what if he really never came back? The possibility of that was big and it became bigger with every day. You looked at Steve, who had his eyes on you, waiting. With a sigh you rubbed your face.
“I need to take a shower first”, you said.
A smile appeared on his face and he nodded, telling you he would be waiting downstairs for you before leaving the room. He really was good with words.
After that day, Steve’s presence in the compound became daily. He would always be there to make sure you didn’t just stay in bed. Some days were easier than others, but you still found it difficult to get up every day. However, Steve started making it way easier.
After two months, it would be you the one waiting for him outside every day, asking where you two were going that day. You explored parts of New York you had never seen, he told you stories about Brooklyn when you had dinner at his apartment, you would go to the movies even when there was none just to sit there and remember the old classics you both loved. Soon, he became indispensable in your life and he became the key to keep on going on the following years.
You couldn’t say you had forgotten about Bucky. You’d never do that. But the sting of losing him wasn’t as painful as it once was. You didn’t wake up crying every night, you felt like you could actually have a life. Not a full one, but a life. And it all was thanks to Steve.
“Same time tomorrow?” He asked when he dropped you off at the compound. As usual, he walked you to the door.
“Sure”, you nodded. “I’ve never been to an empty stadium before so it should be interesting.”
The Yankees Stadium had officially closed a couple of months ago. Entrance was supposed to be forbidden but Steve claimed to know a way to break in and he was determined to show it to you.
“You will love it” he smiled. Silent came in between you two while you looked for your keys in your bag. “Are you okay?” He asked.
You had no idea how many times he used to ask that question. It was so sweet actually. He cared so much about you and was always making sure you were alright.
“I am”, you nodded looking at him once you found the keys. “Thanks to you.”
“I did nothing” he said shrugging. “You just needed a little push.”
“And you gave it to me, Steve. Give yourself a little credit”, you said. “If it wasn’t for you, I’d probably still be in bed, feeling sorry about everything that happened.”
“Well, I’m happy I was helpful”, he smiled.
Out of habit, you took a step towards him and wrapped your arms around his neck to hug him. As usual, his arms sneaked around your waist, pulling you closer as he snuggled his face in your neck. These hugs at the end of the day were his happy place. Your closeness calmed him down, made him forget about all the bad around the world for some seconds.
Then, you turned your head to place a kiss on his cheek just when he did the same, causing both of you to kiss way too close to your lips. Both of you froze, looking at each other with your lips parted. You gulped and looked down at his lips and then back to his eyes just when he leaned his head a bit closer to yours.
You licked your lower lip and closed your eyes when you felt the warm of his lips over yours. It would be so easy. You just had to close the tiny space between you two, but you still couldn’t do it, not even when your whole body was screaming you to do go for it.
“I can’t…” he was the one who mumbled. “We can’t”, he added.
“I know” you whispered. Then you forced yourself to step away from him, your cheeks burning. “See you tomorrow?” You said.
“Of course”, he nodded, slipping his hands in his front pockets. “I’ll text you when I get home”, he added before you could say anything, making you smile.
“Thank you”, you said. “Good night, Steve.”
“Good night, (Y/N)”, he said back before turning around and walking to his car. You stayed there until he got in the car and drove away.
You still had to stay outside for a few minutes before walking inside. Your mind was a blur and you were confused as hell. You knew Steve and you had spent every day together for months now and you couldn’t deny how attractive he was. But you still couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty, not for almost kissing him but for actually wanting it.
“Hey there”, Natasha said when you walked by the living room.
“Hey” you said, still kind of shocked. It only took Natasha a second to know something was off.
“Everything okay?” She asked, putting down the book she was reading.
“Yeah…” you said while you took off your jacket and put down your purse. “Nat, can I ask you something?”
“Anything” she shrugged.
“How bad would it be to… move on? From Bucky I mean? Would that be wrong? Would that be… cheating?” You asked. “I mean, we never really broke up, he just… turned to dust…”
“(Y/N) you’re in every right to move on”, she said as you sat on the couch next to her. “Bucky wouldn’t have wanted to stop your life. He would’ve wanted you to be happy.”
“But…” you frowned, looking at a spot in the table, like it was the most interesting thing in the world right now.
“Something happened with Steve?” She asked straight away.
You looked up at her, wondering how in hell she could know.
“You’ve been spending every single day together for the last couple of years”, she shrugged. “I just knew something would end up happening. I’m just surprised it took you so long, but Steve has always taken these things slowly. So… what happened?”
“Nothing really”, you sighed. It would be better if you just told her. “It almost happened, you know? We almost kissed.”
“And? It felt wrong?” She asked.
“No, not really… I actually wanted it, which is what makes me feel guilty”, you admitted.
“You did nothing wrong”, she said.
You shook your head, not really knowing what to think. You felt confused, but you also felt guilty. On one hand, you knew Nat was right, that you did nothing wrong; but on the other hand, you felt this pressure on your chest at the thought of kissing Steve. It was a feeling you could only describe as guilt.
When you left the living room to go to your room, Natasha followed you with her eyes. She had seen you going through hell ever since the Snap and she had done everything she could think of to try and make you feel better. However, it had been Steve the one to get you to smile again. She had been a witness of something flourishing between you two and she knew it was only a matter of time before you two realised what you were feeling. It looked like that time was already there.
Back in your room, you changed into your pyjamas and removed the make up before lying in bed with a book. Just when you opened it, you received a text from Steve saying he was already home. You replied quickly and put the phone away, trying to submerge into the reading and not to think about whatever you were feeling.
***
The next few weeks were strange to say the least. You and Steve kept on hanging out every day, going to different places and just having fun. But you could feel something had changed in your relationship. Someone from the outside would never see it, but it was in the air. There was a subtle tension between you two. It was there every time your hands touched, every time you hugged him goodnight, every time you just looked at each other longer than usual.
The worst part was how those feelings made you feel. Guilty. Deep down you knew you weren’t doing anything wrong, that you had every right to move on and build a new life. And yet you couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky. Steve was his best friend. You couldn’t have these feelings towards him. And yet you did, and it made you feel like you were going crazy.
“Just accept it, (Y/N)” Natasha said.
You had ended up telling her how you were feeling about Steve, about how much those feelings confused you and how guilty you felt. She had told you a thousand times not to feel guilty. It had been almost four years since the Snap and if you felt like you could have a happy life with Steve then you should go for it. Easier said than done.
“How can I accept it? He’s Bucky’s best friend, Nat”, you said. “What does that make me?”
“Someone who has suffered a great loss, like we all did, and who’s willing and ready to move on”, she said.
“But Bucky…” you tried to say but she stopped you.
“When are you going to realise that you are no longer in love with Bucky?”
“What?” You frowned.
“You’re in love with the memories, (Y/N), not him”, she said getting up. “He’s been gone for almost five years and you didn’t have the chance to actually say goodbye and now you’re falling for his best friend, because he’s been your biggest support these years. It’s natural. Just… give in, talk to him.”
“Have you seen Pearl Harbour? The moment I talk to him, the moment we get together is the moment Bucky comes back and I’m the reason why their friendship would be ruined”, you said.
“How many times have you seen that movie?” She frowned.
“Not the point”, you sighed, making her laugh quietly.
“Okay, listen to me”, she said. You looked at her. “What I’m going to say is very harsh, but you need to hear it: Bucky is gone (Y/N). He is not coming back. We have tried everything. You have to move on.”
You blinked a few times looking at her, her words touching some spot inside of you, some sort of switch. Natasha was right. Bucky was gone, everyone was gone and they weren’t coming back. The moment your head accepted that fact, you felt like a weight was removed from your shoulders and tears appeared in your eyes.
“Hey… hey I’m sorry”, she said quickly taking a seat next to you. “I… damn it, I am sorry, please don’t cry.”
“No, it’s okay” you shook your head, letting the tears fall. “It’s just that you’re right. He’s gone, everyone is gone and they… they won’t come back” you sobbed. “I won’t see him again. Ever.”
Natasha pulled you into a tight hug. It had been a long time since you cried like this over what happened. When it happened, you had spent days crying but you eventually stopped and never cried again. Until that moment. You had no idea why, but you just couldn’t stop yourself. It was like you just had to let it all out, all the anguish, all the pain.
“Everything okay?”
You both looked at the entrance of the living room, where Steve was awkwardly standing. He had always had a spare key, so it was normal for him to just let himself in. Only this time his timing was awful. When he saw the tears on your face, he frowned and walked over the couch, worry on his features.
“What happened?” He said dropping his brown leather jacket on the couch.
“I’ll leave you alone” Natasha said before getting up. She squeezed Steve’s upper arm and left the room, leaving you two alone.
Steve sat down where Natasha was and took your hand in his. But you immediately pulled it away and wrapped your arms around his waist, hiding your face in his chest as you cried. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you a bit closer and stroking your hair, wondering what got you so upset.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked after a few minutes, when you had calmed down, but you were still hugging him.
“It’s just…” you mumbled against him. “They’re gone…”
Steve sighed and hugged you tighter. Usually you never cried over this, but he knew there was a sadness inside of everyone that would never truly go away. Sometimes you just needed to let it out and obviously you had been holding back for quite some time.
“I know” he whispered. “I miss them too”, he added. “But hey…” he pulled away and took your face in his hands, making you look up at him. “We owe it to them to be happy, to have a life. They wouldn’t want us to just sit here and cry, right? Look at Tony, he finally has the life he wanted, he managed to get it. We can do it too.”
“Are you suggesting you want to get married?” You half chuckled, making him laugh as well.
“Hopefully someday”, he shrugged and pulled some hair out of your hair. “But the point is that we have to move on.”
“Have you moved on?” You asked. He gave you a sad smile and kissed your forehead.
“Honestly no. But I’m working on it”, he said.
“How? How can you do it?” You asked. He smiled and whipped some tears away.
“There’s this girl I really like”, he said, his eyes staring into yours. “She’s the most amazing girl I have ever met. She’s been my rock for too long and now she’s indispensable in my life. She’s really helping with the moving on thing.”
You felt your stomach twisting and your heart start to race at his words. Was he implying what you thought? You gulped and bite your lip.
“Have you told her?”
“I tried but… she’s my best friend’s ex so I don’t know if it’s okay”, he smiled a little. “I don’t even know how she feels about me.”
“I think you should ask her” you shrugged. “Her answer might surprise you.”
“You think so?” He asked and you nodded. “I don’t know… I think she’s-“
You closed your fists around his blue t-shirt and pulled him closer to you, closing the distance and kissing him, taking him completely by surprise. He hummed against your lips and moved a hand from your cheek to your neck as he kissed you back, slipping his tongue in your mouth.
The feeling could be described as fireworks. Your whole body exploded the moment your lips touched, and you felt like you couldn’t get enough of him. Somehow you needed him closer, that’s why you moved and straddled his lap so he was leaning back against the couch, his hands on both sides of your waist as he let out a quiet moan when you sat just on top of his crotch.
It was the first time in the last years you were like this with someone and it surprised you how good it felt. You had thought, after the Snap, that you wouldn’t feel the same way ever again, that Bucky was the only one who could make you feel wanted, loved and cared of, but you were wrong. And Steve was proving it to you on that couch.
If it was up to you two, you would have gone all the way ‘till the end, but logic came in the way and made you pull apart a few inches as you looked into each other’s eyes with erratic breath and dilated pupils. You licked your lips and let out all the air you were holding, letting your forehead fall against his shoulder.
“Damn…” you mumbled. Steve wrapped his arms around your back, holding you against him.
“Was that okay?” He asked in a whisper.
“It felt okay”, was all you said. You had no idea if it was okay, but it felt like it.
“It did”, he nodded before kissing the side of your head.
“What now?” You said.
Having this conversation straddling Steve’s lap wasn’t ideal, but you felt your cheeks burning so much that you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. Not yet at least and it looked like he felt the same way.
“Maybe we could go on a date and talk about it?” He suggested.
This time you pulled away, looking at him with your eyes wide opened. How did he manage to still take you by surprise after so many time? You gulped and looked down at his t-shirt, which was a bit wet due to your previous tears.
“Hey…” he said, placing his index under your chin to make you look at him again. “If you don’t want to, that’s okay too.”
“I just…” you bit your lip. “This all just took me by surprise, you know?”
“Me too”, he nodded and caressed your cheek. “But I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a long time now, to be honest”, he shrugged, making you smile.
“Thanks for your honesty”, you said.
With a sigh, you climbed off his lap and stood up before running a hand through your hair, looking up at the ceiling. He’s not coming back, Natasha had said. The words kept ringing in your ears. You really had to move on. You had had your life on pause for way too much time now. You looked back down at Steve, who looked at you with waiting eyes and a grin over his beautiful face.
“I don’t think a date can hurt anyone, do you?” You finally asked.
His grin became a full smile at your words and he stood up. Had he always been so tall? He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer, trapping your lips with his in another kiss. You smiled against his mouth and pushed away slightly, taking him by surprise.
“People usually kiss after the date, Rogers”, you said, making him laugh.
“Okay then”, he nodded. “What about tonight? At my place? I’ll cook.”
“Oh God…” you said with amusement. “Have you learned to use the stove?”
“Okay, shut up”, he said smiling as well. “What about 7?”
“Sounds perfect”, you nodded.
He smiled even more and leaned down to kiss your cheek this time, lingering longer than usual, and then he pulled completely away. You gulped as you saw him gathering his stuff -keys and jacket- before moving towards the door with you following his steps. When he opened the front door, he turned around and you just couldn’t help yourself; you took a step forward and placed a hand on his neck, pulling him towards you to kiss him. His hands moved to your waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you back.
“What about the kissing after the date thing?” He smiled in the kiss.
“I’ve never liked following the rules”, you said, pressing your lips against his again.
“See you later”, he mumbled against your lips.
“Yep…” you nodded with a stupid grin.
When he finally left you covered your mouth, still feeling his lips over yours. A giggle left your mouth and you made your way towards the stairs, but you hadn’t count on Natasha waiting there, leaned against the wall with a smug expression on her face and her arms crossed.
“Moving on, huh?” She asked.
“Shut up”, you laughed just running upstairs.
***
You were a nervous wreck the rest of the day. You tried to avoid Natasha and her stupid smirk, but she kept on showing up to your room. Eventually, you admitted that you needed her help after trying on five different outfits and not liking any of them.
At 7 o’clock, you parked your car just at the door of Steve’s building. Probably the only perk of the Snap was all the parking spots available. Although you’d rather spend minutes driving around to find a spot if that meant that everyone was back.
Once you locked the car and looked at the building, you took a deep breath, wondering what you were getting yourself into. You still had doubts. Yes, you liked Steve; yes, you had loved kissing him. But you still weren’t completely sure if it was right. The time you spent baking cupcakes for dessert didn’t help you clear your mind.
By the time you got to his apartment and knocked on the door, your hands were sweaty and your heart was hammering against your chest with such force it looked like it was going to come out of your chest any moment. You took a few deep breaths before Steve opened the door and a smile appeared on your face. Although once you took a better look at him you couldn’t help but laughing.
He was wearing some black jeans and that navy shirt you loved so much. But over it, he was wearing an apron with the body of monkey printed on it that ended just on the neck of the animal, making it look like Steve’s head was the actual head of the monkey.
“Don’t laugh”, he said with a smile. “It was this or a banana onesie.”
“You should’ve gone for the banana”, you said.
“You’re hilarious”, he said with sarcasm.
“And I brought dessert” you said lifting the bowl where you had the cupcakes.
“You didn’t have to”, he said taking the bowl from your hands and taking a step aside to let you walk in.
“It’s okay”, you shrugged as he went to the kitchen to leave the bowl. “You know I like baking.”
You hung your jacket behind the door and went to the kitchen. It smelled amazing and you couldn’t wait to know what he had been cooking. When you walked in, he had already put the cupcakes in a tray carefully.
“Thoughtful”, you commented.
“Always” he smiled. “So? Did Natasha enjoy the afternoon?” He smirked.
“You know she did”, you rolled your eyes. “She loves a gossip and there’s not much of those around anymore.”
“True” he nodded. “I hope you like chicken parmesan”, he said, changing the topic.
“If you’re talking about whatever it is that smells so good then yes, I do” you smiled.
“If you already like how it smells, wait until you taste it”, he said with a wink. “Can you take those to the table, please?”
He pointed to the glasses that were on top the counter and the bottle of red wine. With a nod, you took the glasses with one hand and the bottle with the other. When you saw how he had set everything up you smiled warmly. He had put a white tablecloth over the small table that was just behind the sofa, he had set up the dishes, the forks and knives, a salad that looked delicious and a couple of candles that weren’t lit up yet.
You put the glasses and the bottle down before walking around the couch to the TV cabinet he had in front of the small table that was in front of the couch. After so many hours spent there, you knew where he kept the matches, so you opened a drawer just underneath the TV and took the box of matches from it. Carefully, you lit one up and lit both candles. It actually looked so cosy and romantic.
“I meant to do that before you came but I got caught up in the kitchen”, Steve said from behind you.
“It’s okay”, you said.
“Dinner will be ready in around fifteen minutes”, he said and took the bottle to open it.
“Great, because I’m starving”, you sighed, leaning against the back of the black leather couch.
Silently, you watched as he poured some wine in both of the glasses before putting down the bottle. He took one of the glasses and gave it to you with a small, which you thanked and took a sip.
“I’m not an expert, but this is great”, you said.
“I know, right?” He said, as surprised as you were. “I must admit, wine is now way better than it was in the 40s.”
“Let’s be honest. Many things are much better now”, you said.
“I guess”, he nodded, slipping one hand in his front pocket while he held the glass with the other, looking up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. “I’m still not sure about all the technology going around, social media…”
“Why?” You asked before taking another sip.
“I think social media has taken a lot from us”, he shrugged and looked at you. “People don’t really interact with each other anymore, they just like your photo on Instagram. And then they won’t even say hi if you run into them. People is now afraid of having real feelings, like that would make them weaker or something when it actually makes you stronger.”
“I know…” you said, thinking about his words. “It’s like nowadays, nothing of what you do matters if it’s not on social media.”
“Exactly!” He exclaimed. “Back in the 40s, if we liked someone, we acted on it, we truly did it. Now all you can see is texting, insinuations on Twitter or stupid attempts to get someone’s attention on Instagram.”
“I’m honestly surprised that you know the names of every social media”, you teased. He rolled his eyes and laughed.
“I’ve had time to catch up lately”, he shrugged.
“It has its perks as well”, you said. He looked at you with both eyebrows raised, waiting. “Now, if you go to the park and you break a leg, you can call someone really quickly to get help, for instance.”
“I’m Captain America, I don’t break my legs”, he smirked. It was your turn to roll your eyes.
“Cocky”, you said.
“There’s no privacy”, he said.
“There’s communicating with people anywhere around the globe”, you said back.
“People think they know everything just because they can google it”, he smiled.
“There’s memes”, you shrugged, making him laugh out loud.
“I can’t argue with that. That’s a real win”, he admitted.
Just then, you heard the oven alarm going off, meaning the dinner was ready. Steve left the glass on the table and hurried towards the kitchen. The smell was even better now. You made room in the table so he could put the over tray over it and, in no time, he was back.
“Careful”, he said when he put the tray on the table. “So hot”, he mumbled.
“Thanks”, you said with a smirk.
“Who’s cocky now?” He laughed.
He moved a chair back, signalling you to sit down, which you did. Before he sat down, he put a couple of portions on your plate and some more on his own. It always surprised you to see the amount of food he ate, compared to yours especially, but he had already explained, a long time ago, how his metabolism worked and why he needed to ingest more food than the rest of the population.
You spent the next few minutes eating and exchanging comments on the food. You had to admit it was the best chicken you had tried in months. Of course, you said so. It had the perfect amount of everything and it was perfectly cooked.
“Have you considered opening a restaurant? There’s not much avenging to do now and plenty of empty locals”, you shrugged.
“It would be a good way to spend the time”, he smiled. “Although, between us, I only can make like five proper dishes”, he said.
“Yeah… I know…” you said. “That can be a problem. But hey, your past carbonara is amazing”, you complimented him.
“And so are your grilled cheese sandwiches”, he said back with a wink.
Once you finished your plate, you were convinced it was impossible for you to eat anything else. But then Steve came back with the cupcake you had brought and you couldn’t say no to them. When he put the tray in front of you, you were quick to take a chocolate one and handed him the one who red, which and blue sprinkles.
“Really? Are you still making this one for me?” He laughed.
“Always”, you said with a smile.
When you ate a couple of cupcake each, you decided to move to the couch. Steve was okay, but you felt like wouldn’t be able to move in the next two weeks. You had definitely eaten too much, but it had all been so good that you didn’t regret it. With a sigh, you let your head fall against the back of the couch and placed a hand on your stomach.
“I think that if you put me on the top of a hill, I would roll all the way down right now”, you said, looking at the ceiling.
“Yeah, the last cupcake was a mistake”, he nodded, sitting next to you. “Did you like the dinner?”
“It was amazing”, you said looking at him to find out that he was already looking at you with a small smile. “Thank you.”
“My pleasure”, he shrugged.
You smiled back at him, allowing yourself to get lost in his eyes. It still amazed you how blue they were. Although you had also noticed some changes ever since you started spending more time with him all these years ago. When he got mad, his eyes would turn a darker shade of blue, like there was a storm coming. It was mesmerizing to see. Your eyes moved to down to his lips. Those lips you had kissed just a few hours ago and that you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. His kiss had been tender and yet firm and passionate, like he wanted to control every aspect of it. And the feeling of his hand on your neck had made you feel safer than you had felt since the Snap.
Steve couldn’t keep his eyes off you either. He had always found you attractive, there was no denying that. But he had always seen you as Bucky’s girlfriend. You were completely forbidden. However, once you started spending time together, he had started to see all those details Bucky once told him about you and he had ended up loving every single one of them. Like the way your little nose moved when you spoke, how you always had a strand of hair in your mouth no matter what, how you would pick on your nails when you were lost in your thoughts, how you would smile sweetly when two people kissed or held hands and how you would frown when you saw someone crying.
Before he could stop himself, he was leaning closer to you and, since you didn’t move away, he placed his lips over yours slowly at first but deeper when he felt your hand on his cheek. The kiss soon became deeper when you straddled him, wanting to feel him closer. In a swift move, he flipped you over and put you against the couch, with him on top as you devoured each other’s lips.
It had been months since you felt this type of contact and now it felt like you would never have enough, not even if you had everything. When he slipped his hand under your blouse carefully, you gathered all your courage and opened this buttons of his shirt, pulling away from the kiss for a moment before taking it off.
“We can stop. Just say it”, he said, hovering over you.
“I don’t want to stop. Ever”, you said breathlessly.
He smiled, like he was scared you’d tell him to stop, and he got up. Before you could question what he was doing, he picked you up and crashed his lips against yours, making his way towards the bedroom. When he put you down on the bed, you swore you could feel your heart on your mouth. This was happening and you wanted it more than anything.
It all was fast and slow at the same time. You didn’t even have time to register what was happening. His hands on your body felt warm, his kisses turned you on even more, the weight of his body made you feel safe, home and you just didn’t want it to end.
“Are you okay?” He asked, around an hour later, when you were lying on the bed, your head on his chest.
“Yeah”, you whispered, tracing his abs with your fingertips. “I feel home”, you stated.
Steve smiled and held you tighter before kissing your head and let out a deep breath he was holding before closing his eyes. He felt home too, like he hadn’t felt in years. A few moments after he felt you falling asleep, he let himself drift off as well.
***
There was no need to say you didn’t spend much time at the compound the following days. Even if you went there every day so Natasha wasn’t alone, you still slept at Steve’s every night. Thanks to him, you were finally getting full sleep nights, like you didn’t do in years. And it felt so damn good.
Sadly, just like everything in this life… good things don’t last forever.
“What?” You frowned.
You had just got to the compound to take some clothes while Steve checked on Natasha. What you didn’t expect was Natasha to show up into your room, telling you to come downstairs immediately. There were news.
“Just come!”
You put the clothes you had in your hands down and followed her running to the tactics room. You stopped on your tracks when you recognised Scott Lang there. It had been more than five years since you last saw him, so you just had guessed he had vanished with everyone else. What the fuck?
“(Y/N!) Oh my God, you survived as well, this is just great”, he said when he saw you, as excited as a little child. He was the same old Scott, like time had never passed.
“Scott, what are you doing here?” You asked.
“I have a solution”, he said. “I also have to say I’m still confused about everything but I think I can fix it. We, we can fix it.”
“What?” You mumbled.
“I think we can bring everyone back”, Scott smiled.
Your heart stopped for a second before you looked at Steve, who wasn’t even looking at you. He was deeply lost in thoughts before he looked up and spoke up.
“We have to talk to Tony”, he said. “If someone can make this happen, it’s him.”
“I don’t think he will be too willing to participate”, Natasha said.
“We have to try”, Steve shrugged. “We have to bring them back.”
It was then when your eyes crossed. None of you had to say anything. You knew what he was thinking and he knew what was going through your mind. You had to bring everyone back. Everyone.
“Let’s go, then”, Scott said with a clap. “Where’s Iron Man?”
“C’mon”, Steve sighed before making his way to the door.
When he passed by your side, he squeezed your upper arm slightly. His touch gave you shivers but you were quick to turn around and follow him, with Natasha and Scott behind you.
You hadn’t seen Tony in a long time and you didn’t know how he would react when he saw the four of you show up at his doorstep. But Steve was right: you needed his help. You didn’t even know much about his new life. You knew he had married Pepper in a private little ceremony out of city and that they both now lived in a cottage out of the city. What you didn’t expect to see was the little child around the house. They had a kid. A daughter. And you were about to ask him to risk everything.
“What now?” Scott asked when you were all back in the car. Tony had said no, of course. And you couldn’t blame him. There was too much at stake for him.
“There’s someone else we can talk to”, Natasha sighed, leaning her head against her hand.
“Bruce?” Steve asked, looking at her through the mirror. Natasha nodded. “Do you think he will help?”
“We have to try”, you said.
Steve looked at you and nodded before placing a hand on your leg and giving it a small squeeze. Everything was about trying, but if Bruce said no as well, you were kind of out of options and Scott’s hopes would be gone.
***
The talk with Bruce went so much better than with Tony. It still took a bit of convincing, but he ended up going back to the compound with all of you, willing and eager to make Scott’s plan work. Immediately, you all started working. Bruce explained with more detail the plan and, even if you didn’t understand it, you knew it could work. It sounded crazy. Going back in time, getting the stones. It was the craziest plan you had ever heard, and that’s why you were convinced it would work.
With all its consequences.
You and Steve had spent every single night together -now at the compound instead of his apartment-, but you never said a word about what was happening. It was obvious for both of you what it would mean, but it looked like neither of you was ready to put it in words. And Tony finally joining you all just made everything more real.
“Hey”, you looked to the door of your room when Steve knocked on it.
It was the last night before your time traveling and, even though, most of the team was still going through the plan over and over again, you just needed to rest and clear your mind.
Of course, your absence was immediately noticed by Steve, who quickly excused himself and left the group to go to you. His mind hadn’t stopped racing since the moment Scott arrived. Just when things started to feel a new kind of normal, everything was going to change again. And, as much as he wanted things to go back to the real normal, there was a tiny part of him that wished it would just stay that way.
“May I come in?” He asked.
“Sure”, you nodded.
You were sitting on the floor, with your back against the bed and your laptop on your lap. When Steve closed the door, you closed your laptop and put it on the floor while Steve took a seat next to you with a sigh. He rested his head against your bed for a few moments before looking at you and smiling.
“Crazy, right?” He said.
“Yeah”, you agreed, smiling back at him. “I still can’t believe I have to stay behind”, you mumbled.
Everyone had agreed on that. You all needed someone to stay behind to keep track on the machine and to make sure everything was normal. At first, it was going to be Bruce, but he ended up saying he had to go. Someone had to go to get the Time Stone. It was impossible for Steve, Tony and Scott to cover so much ground by themselves. He said that they needed someone to stay behind to pull them out quickly in case something went wrong. Of course, you weren’t stupid. You knew there was some truth in their excuse, but you also knew Steve was behind it.
At first, you felt angry, but you also knew he needed to be completely focused on the mission, and knowing you were around wasn’t going to help. So, you didn’t like the decision, but you just accepted.
“We need Bruce”, Steve said. You chuckled and looked at him. “What?”
“Do you think I’m stupid, Steve?”
“No, of course not”, he shrugged.
“Then, do you really think I bought that story?”
Steve stared at you for a few moments, trying to come up with something to get him off the hook, but he knew it was useless. You knew.
“I’m sorry”, he sighed.
“It’s okay”, you quickly said. “At first I was angry, but I also know it is for the best.”
“Thanks”, he said taking your hand in his. “I know you wanted to come.”
“Well, it didn’t really make sense for me to go”, you shrugged. “I’m just a civilian, but I wanted to be useful.”
“You will be”, he assured you. “Just… time travelling maybe is not the best option.”
You smiled and nodded before letting go of his hand and getting up. You took the laptop from the floor to put it on the desk before going into the bathroom. It was almost midnight and you were going to be up really early. You had to go to bed, but you were wide awake, and Steve’s presence wasn’t helpful at all.
“Can I ask you something?” Steve asked, appearing on the reflection in the mirror of the bathroom, where you were brushing your teeth. Slowly, you nodded. “You know things won’t be the same if the plan works, don’t you?”
And there it was. The elephant in the room. Before replying, you started washing up, trying to think of what to say. It was one of the things that hadn’t left your mind for many days, and you still didn’t know the answer to that.
“(Y/N)…”, Steve said after a few minutes of silence.
“Yes, I know”, you finally said.
Not even looking at Steve, you went back to the room. You could feel his eyes on you the whole time, probably waiting for you to say something else. But the truth was that you had no idea what to say. You were getting used to the idea of how things were, you were moving on from everything that had happened, and you were starting to accept the reality. How were you supposed to face what was about to happen if it worked?
“That’s it?” Steve asked, leaning against the frame door of the bathroom. “You know it?”
“What do you want me to say?” You sighed.
Steve narrowed his eyes at you before letting his arms fall down at his sides with a sigh. Slowly, he walked over you and sat down at the bed where you had previously taken a seat.
“Honestly? I don’t know”, he chuckled. “I guess I’m just afraid”, he said looking down at his hands.
“Me too”, you admitted. He looked at you, waiting. “We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, Steve. But…if it works…”
“Bucky will come back”, he said, finishing the sentence you didn’t want to finish.
“Yes”, you took a deep breath. “And all I know is that… I don’t know, Steve, it’s been five years for us, five years for us to heal, five years for me to move on from him. But what about them? It’s been five years too?”
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Remember what Scott said, Steve”, you said. “When he was in the quantum realm it felt like five hours for him when it had been five years. What if it is the same for everyone else? Where does that leave me and Bucky?”
Steve’s mind was racing. He had also considered that variable, but he had decided to ignore it. Just because it was easier. But you were completely right.
“Would you… go back to him?”
“I don’t know, Steve”, you shook your head. “I don’t love him anymore, not like I used to. I miss him? Yes, but just like I miss Peter. And I don’t even know how to start explaining to my boyfriend, who’s been in some unknown dimension for five years, that I have fallen in love with his best friend.”
Steve felt like his heart stopped for a second. He knew how he felt about you and he knew he was now close to the point of no return. But listening how you felt about him was a whole different story and, even at that moment, when everything could change in a matter of hours, he felt a spark of hope lightening up in his chest.
“Have you?” He asked with a small smile. You gave him a confused look. “Fallen in love with me.”
“I thought it was kind of obvious”, you shrugged, but couldn’t hide the smile. “Yes, I have, Steve. If it wasn’t for you… I don’t know. You have been the only one who has managed to make me laugh, for real, in all this time.”
“Maybe Bucky will understand?” He asked. You chuckled and looked down at your hands. “Yeah…he’s never been the understanding type of guy, I know. But he loves both of us.”
“That still doesn’t change the fact that we will break his heart”, you said.
Steve gulped and looked down as well, brushing your hand with his thumb and, for a moment, a brief moment that didn’t even last a second, he wished things could just stay that way.
“We will figure it out”, he finally said.
“I know”, you mumbled.
***
It all had been so crazy you didn’t even have the time to be happy about the fact that it all had worked out. Well… not exactly all. Wrapping your head around the fact of Tony and Nat not being around anymore wasn’t easy and you wasn’t sure you could ever do it. Tony had been a mentor to you and Natasha had always been like a big sister. They had been two of the most important people in your life and now they were just gone. They loss really clouded the feeling of everyone else being back.
Through the next few days, you offered yourself to help Pepper in everything she needed. Funeral preparations, taking care of Morgan, press stuff, you wanted to be there for her since you were aware of how painful was to lose a loved one. The difference was that, this time, Tony wasn’t coming back. Which led you to the very real reason for you to stay so busy.
Bucky.
You had seen him, of course, but in the distance. You knew he had seen you as well, but you had managed to keep your distance both from him and Steve. You didn’t feel ready to face what was going to happen next, to telling the whole story about you and Steve to Bucky, to break his heart. It was too hard to do and you were hoping that Steve was making some progress by talking to him in your behalf or anything.
But you were running out of time and you knew it. As soon as the funeral was over, there wouldn’t be much more for you to do and you became fully aware of it the moment Pepper sent you home the night after the funeral, assuring you Morgan and her would be okay but you needed to rest.
“You haven’t stopped in days, honey”, she said with a small smile. “And we all need to face what has happened. Not just us”, she added.
You knew she wasn’t talking just about Tony but none of you was going to put into words what was really going on inside your head.
“Are you sure?” You asked again. “I could wash the dishes-“
“I got it”, she interrupted you with a small smile before wrapping her arms around you. “Thank you very much for what you’ve been doing these days. It meant a lot”, she said.
You nodded and pulled away, your mind now racing at the though of finally coming face to face with your past and your present. You hugged Morgan as well, who was on the couch watching some TV and then headed towards the car you had parked outside. It was one of Tony’s many Audis.
At first, when Pepper told you to use it to come and go from the city, you felt awkward, but she said it was totally okay. She wouldn’t even use half of the many cars that Tony had. So you ended up choosing a black one. It had always been one of your favourite because, for you, it was the most elegant.
You made the drive back to NYC slower than usual. Not being ready for whatever that was coming. You didn’t even know where to go. You had spent almost every single day of the last years at Steve’s so going there felt right, but maybe he was back at the compound now that everyone was there.
“F.R.I.D.AY.?” You asked out loud as you approached the exit that would lead you to the compound. You had to decide whether to turn right or keep on going to the city.
“Hello, Miss (Y/L/N)”, the AI said immediately.
“Could you please tell who is in the compound?” You asked, gripping the steering wheel a bit harder.
“Just a second”, she said. You bit your lip, your knuckled turning white. “Everyone except Sergeant Barnes and Captain Rogers”, she finally said. Great.
“Please, call Captain Rogers’ phone”, you sighed.
“Right away”, she said.
You gulped as you decided to keep on driving straight to the city.
“Hey”, Steve’s voice finally came through the speakers of the car. You could hear some background noise but nothing you could recognise. “How are you?”
“Fine”, you sighed. “I’m coming to the city”, you said. “Where are you? F.R.I.D.A.Y said you’re not in the compound.”
“No, I’m not”, he said. “I came to the city with Bucky. To talk.”
You had to force yourself to keep the focus on the road as he said that, but your heart started beating even faster than it was before. A part of you was glad that he decided to take the lead on talking to him, but another one was so freaking scare. What if Bucky got angry? What if you had ruined the friendship between them?
“Oh…” was all you were able to say. “About us?”
“Yeah”, he said. “He’s been asking about you a lot and…”, he sighed. “Look, I really think you should be here too, babe.”
You gulped when you spotted the city lines. You would be in the city in ten minutes. You knew Steve was right. It wasn’t fair that he had to do it alone, but you also didn’t want to see the pain in Bucky’s eyes.
“(Y/N)?” Steve said.
“Text me the address”, you finally said, making up your mind. He was right: you should be there. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Okay”, he said.
“Have you said anything?” You asked.
“No”, he said. “But I think he heard Sam and Bruce talking about it. Apparently, Bruce was filling him in”, he explained.
“Shit”, you mumbled. “Okay, I’ll see you in a bit, alright?”
“Okay”, he said. “I’ll text you the address.”
“F.R.I.D.A.Y”, you said when Steve ended the call. “Set the directions for the address Steve is about to text.”
“Redirecting”, F.R.I.D.A.Y said in no time.
It was time to come clear.
***
The last few days had been even more chaotic than after the Snap. Half of the population was back and no one knew what had happened. For them, it was like they had just passed away for a few minutes. Doctors all around the world were examining as much as people as they could, but it soon became clear that there were no consequences of what they had been through.
Yet, there was so much to do. People was confused and the whole planet now had to go back to how it was before. Although it seemed impossible.
Between all the mess, Steve had been trying to avoid having any kind of important talk with Bucky. Of course, he hadn’t left his side ever since it all ended, but he had changed the topic every time Bucky mentioned you. He knew you were avoiding it too since you had managed to stay at Pepper’s the whole time.
However, after Tony’s funeral, there was no delaying it any longer. It was just the night after the funeral when Bucky seemed to have had enough and asked Steve to go and have a drink somewhere, saying they had to talk.
“She’s avoiding me, isn’t she?” Bucky asked once they both had a beer in front of them.
“No”, Steve shook his head with an elbow leaned against the wooden bar of the crowded place. There was so much to celebrate and no one was holding back.
“Steve…”, Bucky sighed while Steve took a sip from his beer. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” He asked, nervous.
“Do you think I’m an idiot?” Bucky asked. “According to everyone, who’ve been gone for five years. Since we came back I have barely seen my girlfriend”, Steve’s stomach turned upside down when Bucky said that word, “and it’s not like I haven’t tried but I have seen how much effort she had put into avoiding me.”
Just when Steve knew he was getting out of answers, his phone started buzzing in his pocket. When he took it out and saw your name of the screen, he sighed relieved.
“Give me a second”, Steve said looking at Bucky, was had also seen your name. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay”, Bucky said, turning his body from him to lean against the bar with both arms.
Steve looked at his friend with guilt all over his face, but the buzzing of his phone took him out of his little trance. Quickly, he made his way out of the bar to talk to you and ask you to come to them. It was time to tell him the truth. Bucky wasn’t stupid, he knew something was going on and he had every right to know. After all, he had referred to you as his ‘girlfriend’.
“Is she coming?” Bucky asked when Steve returned to his side.
“Yeah”, Steve nodded. “She’s on her way.”
“Good”, Bucky nodded, looking at Steve who was quick to look away from him. “Any spoilers?” Steve chuckled a little and shook again.
“Let’s wait until she’s here”, he said.
“I won’t like it, right?” Bucky asked. Steve looked down at his hands. “I won’t like it”, he repeated before taking the beer to drink again.
“Look…”, Steve sighed, not really knowing what to say. “It’s been five years, Buck”, he said, not being able to look Bucky in the eye.
“It hasn’t been for me”, Bucky sighed. “She doesn’t love me anymore, I know it, but maybe we can give it another try?”
Steve felt his throat dry up, so he took another sip from the beer. At that point, he just wanted to tell him everything. How you two had started hanging out together, how devastated you were, how he had become your rock and you had become his, how you became closer and closer and how he had ended up falling for her. Hard.
But words didn’t seem to come.
To gain a little more time, Steve took out his phone. To his surprise, there was a text from you saying you had just parked a couple of streets from where they were.
“She’s coming”, Steve said. “I’m going to get her, okay? In case she can’t find the place.”
“Okay”, Bucky nodded.
With sweaty hands, Steve went back out of the bar again, feeling extremely grateful when the fresh air of the night hit his face. Both of his hands went to his hair, tugging it lightly, frustrated. With a tired sigh, he put his hands on his hips and looked down at the floor for a few moments, focusing on the noise around him. A noise he didn’t know how much he had missed.
“Steve”, he looked up to see you approaching him.
Relief flooded all over his body when he wrapped his arms around you, something he hadn’t done in days. He felt calm again, like only you could make him feel. He placed a kiss on your head, inhaling your scent and sighed before placing his hands on your cheeks to make you look up.
“How’s he?” You asked.
“I don’t know how we are going to do this”, he said.
“That bad?” You frowned.
Steve pressed his forehead against yours with his eyes closed, taking deep and slow breaths to calm his mind and his heart. It was a lot to take in, in too little time. Losing Natasha, everyone coming back, losing Tony, burying Tony, the world in chaos trying to go back to normal and now this. It felt like he was drifting and you were the only lighthouse anywhere close.
“Hey…”, you whispered.
He opened his eyes to look at you. With a small smile that didn’t reach your eyes, you rubbed his cheek and pecked his lips.
“We’re in this together, okay?” You said and he nodded. “C’mon”, you added.
You took his hand to walk into the bar, but he let go of it the moment you entered the place. Usually, it would be weird, but you knew why he did it. You had to tell Bucky the truth and walking in hand in hand probably wasn’t the best way to do it.
Spotting Bucky was easy. He was as big as ever, he was leaned forward the wooden bar, moving the beer around, completely focused on the yellow liquid inside the glass. You gave Steve an unsure look, which he returned with a nod that provided some sense of tranquillity.
“Buck”, Steve said when you were closed enough. Bucky had been so into his own mind that he hadn’t even saw you coming closer.
The soldier looked up from his beer and his eyes went immediately to you. You could see in his eyes that same lovingly look he had only for you, that look that would always make you smile and now made you feel guilty.
“(Y/N)”, he mumbled.
He looked exactly the same. It was like those five years had never passed. Actually, for him, they hadn’t passed, which was what made this whole situation much more complicated. Without thinking it twice, he took two steps towards you and wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in your neck like he always used to do.
That hug brough to many memories that you couldn’t help but tear up while you hugged him back. It didn’t matter if you didn’t love him that way anymore, you had missed him so much and you never thought you would be in his arms ever again.
“You look so beautiful”, he said against your skin.
It was you who pulled away first, trying to gulp the lump of guilt down your throat. You didn’t succeed. Still way too close, you looked up at him, into those piercing blue eyes that once had been your whole world. The fact that they were so full of joy at the moment only made you feel worse.
“It’s so weird”, he chuckled taking a step back and looking at Steve, who looked uncomfortable. “I mean… For me, it’s like I saw you yesterday but you look so… different.”
“Good different I hope”, you chuckled nervously.
“Always”, his smile grew even bigger, although the look you shared with Steve was enough to erase that smile from his face. “But not everything is good different, right?” He asked.
“There is something you need to know”, you said quietly, not really knowing where to start or how to say it.
Bucky looked at Steve for a moment and then back at you before sighing and looking down at his feet.
“Just say it”, he mumbled so low you barely heard him.
“It’s been five years, Bucky”, you said. “I know that for you it hasn’t been liked that, but… I mourned you and… I moved on…”
“What does that even mean? I wasn’t dead”, he said.
“It was like you were”, you said. “There was no hope of bringing you back. Thanos was dead, the Stones had been destroyed”, you tried to explain. “And we were left in a devastated world to figure a whole new life out. Without you.”
“So you just stopped loving me?” Bucky frowned. You sighed and looked at Steve again, looking for some help, but he looked like he didn’t know what to say.
“It wasn’t like I stopped, Bucky”, you said. “It just…”
“Happened”, Bucky finished your sentence for you. “How long it took you, huh?”
“Hey”, Steve finally intervened when he saw the hurt look on your face. “You can’t throw that at her face, pal”, he said. “She was devastated. She barely ate or left the bed for… I don’t know how long.”
“And I guess you were there for her, right?” Bucky half laughed, but when none of you said anything, his face went pale. “You’re kidding me.”
His eyes went from Steve to you a couple of times, but none of you said anything. Realisation slowly reached him and, when it did, he took a step away from both of you.
“When?” Bucky asked.
“Not so long ago”, Steve finally said. “We started hanging out two years after the Snap but nothing really happened until a few weeks ago.”
“So you kept me in your memory for three more years? I’m honoured”, Bucky said. He took the glass from the bar and finished the remaining beer. “I have to go. Good catching up.”
Steve tried to stop him, but he easily got lost among the people and soon had left the bar. You looked at Steve, who was still looking at the door.
“How could I ever thought that he would take it well?” You asked, making him look at you.
“Give him some time”, he said. “He’s always had a bad temper, you know it. He needs to cool off.”
“You think so?” You asked.
Steve took your hand and pulled you towards him softly. With a sigh, you rested your head against his chest, wrapping your arms around him and closing your eyes. Bucky’s hurt eyes didn’t leave your mind, not for a second.
“I want to go home”, you finally said after being hugged to Steve for a few minutes.
“Me too”, he said against your hair.
***
It had been almost a week since your encounter with Bucky and neither you or Steve had heard from him. It wasn’t because of the lack of trying. You used to call him and text him several times every day, but he would never reply. You even went to the compound daily, but Bruce always claimed that he was just busy.
“I knew this would happen”, you said when you got in the car with Steve after leaving the compound at night.
“What?” He asked, turning the engine on.
“That us getting together would end up with me ruining yours and Bucky’s friendship”, you said, looking down at your hands.
Steve started driving silently, which caused your heart to speed up. Was he agreeing with you even if he didn’t want to put it into words? It wasn’t until he drove out of the compound grounds that he spoke again.
“You ruined nothing, babe”, he finally said. “Bucky just needs time to process, but I’m sure he will understand.”
“What if he doesn’t?” You asked, tearing up.
Once again, he didn’t reply right away. When you looked at him, you saw a frown on his forehead as he focused on the dark road ahead of you.
Steve didn’t even want to consider the possibility of losing Bucky’s friendship. But what if he couldn’t forgive him? What could he do? It wasn’t like there was any switch to turn off his feelings towards you. And, even if it existed, he didn’t want to do it. He was happy with you. He was even considering the L word even if he wasn’t ready to say it. Steve didn’t want to give you up, but Bucky’s friendship was also everything to him.
He looked at you for a moment to see your eyes focused on the road, but he could see how glittery they were. He knew you were trying not to cry, so he reached out for your hand over the console and gave it a little squeeze that you returned.
“It’s going to be okay”, Steve said when he parked the car a few feet away from the apartment. “Bucky is stubborn, but he only wants the best for you and he will understand how you feel.”
“I hope so”, you sighed before getting out of the car.
Steve did the same and locked it before walking around the car, towards you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulder and kissed your forehead softly. Who would have thought that fixing everything would make life even more complicated?
“What about making home made pizza for dinner?” Steve suggested when you walked into the building.
“You really know how to lift someone’s spirit, don’t you?” You smiled a little.
“I know my public”, he said with a smile while you waited for the elevator.
“Are you sure, Rogers?” You asked when his hands went to your hips to pull you closer.
“I also know that you would love to have one of those cupcakes we made the other day for dessert”, he said, smiling down at you.
“I thought you ate them all”, you narrowed your eyes.
“I might have lied?” He smirked.
You shook your head and tried to say something else, but his mouth was quick to cover yours, making you forget whatever you were about to say. Your hands flew to both sides of his face, rubbing his stubble, as you kissed him back.
Both of you were so focused on each other, that you didn’t even hear the elevator’s doors opening and, of course, you didn’t see the person coming out of it, who stopped on his tracks the moment he saw you two.
“Thanks for the show.”
Bucky’s voice made you two pull away surprised. He was probably the last person any of you expected to see at that moment or at that place. You were both completely speechless.
“Please, don’t stop on my behalf. I was just leaving”, he said before walking towards the door of the building.
“Bucky, wait!” You exclaimed when you reacted. “Please, don’t go. Not again.”
Bucky stopped again, his back towards you, but you knew he was breathing deep to calm himself down. He clenched his fists before he turned around to look at you two again.
“Why would I stay? What do I have left? My girlfriend is dating my best friend and my best friend, well…”, he chuckled, hurt. “He took a really good care of her, right?”
“Bucky we didn’t plan this”, Steve said with a frown. “We were devastated with what had happened-“
“And you comforted each other, I can see that”, Bucky nodded. “Don’t ask me to be okay with this, because I can’t.”
“I…”, you tried to find the words but they didn’t seem to come to you. “I love you, Bucky. I do. But… I’m not in love with you anymore.”
You knew those words hurt him even more, but he had to hear them, even if they were painful. He looked away, but you could see him taking a deep breath.
“If you’re so not okay with this, so angry at us… why did you come here tonight?” Steve asked.
You had been so focused on getting Bucky to stay, that you hadn’t even realised that little fact. Bucky was here. At Steve’s apartment. It looked like Bucky hadn’t thought about it and the anger and disappointment just left him the moment he remembered why he was there.
“To talk to you”, he finally said.
“Then come up”, Steve said. “So we can all talk.”
Bucky looked at you and you nodded, silently asking him to stay as well. It looked like he was divided, but he ended up sighing and walking back into the elevator, this time followed by you two.
To say that the ride up to Steve’s apartment was uncomfortable was a huge misunderstanding. Usually, you and Steve would be holding hands or touching in any way on your way up, but this time you were standing on opposite sides of the elevator, looking at the door, with Bucky between you two, also looking at the door. No one said a single word, making the tension grow thicker.
“Thanks”, you mumbled when Bucky held the door open for you when you got to the third floor.
“No problem”, he said, his eyes fixed on his boots.
Silently, Steve unlocked the door of his apartment and opened, letting you two walk in first. As usual, you took off your shoes, hung the coat by the door and put your bag on the dining table. Doing that every time you walked into the apartment had become such a routine that you didn’t even think about it until you saw how Bucky was looking at you.
It was obvious that you had spent a long time in that apartment, judging by the familiarity of your movements around the place. Bucky noticed your blushing cheeks when you caught him looking at you, so he looked away and took off his own jacket. He didn’t even know what to do. He felt awkward standing there while Steve went to his room to change into something more comfortable while you sat on the couch, going through your phone quietly.
“How have you been?” He finally asked, breaking the silence.
“Um… good”, you nodded and put the phone down to look at him. “I’m going back to work in a couple of weeks.”
“That’s good”, he said with his hands in his pockets. “I bet you missed it.”
“I did”, you nodded. “I missed a lot of things”, you added with a sigh.
Before Bucky could say anything, Steve came back from the room, now wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His eyes went from Bucky to you, wondering how this would turn out.
“Do you want anything? Water, a beer?” Steve asked.
“I’m good”, Bucky said.
“Babe?” Steve asked looking at you.
The pet name came so naturally to both of you, that none of you reacted to it, but Bucky tensed even more when he heard it. He used to call you ‘babe’ at least fifty times a day and your face used to light up like it was lighting up right then after Steve calling it to you.
“Some water, please”, you smiled at him.
He nodded and went to the kitchen, leaving you in another tense silent only broke by Steve’s noises in the kitchen. Soon, he came back with a beer for himself and a glass of water for you that he put in the coffee table in front of you. You thanked him and took a sip from it while he leaned against the couch, facing Bucky.
“So…”, Steve said looking at Bucky.
“I’m trying to stay calm, you know?” Bucky sighed, leaning against the dining table, looking at you two. “This…”, he shook his head.
“We didn’t look for this, Bucky”, you said. “It… happened.”
“I get it”, Bucky nodded. “I get that it has been five years. Even if it hasn’t been for me, I get it. But you have to understand me. For me, we were lying in my bed back in the compound just a week ago. And now… you’re with my best friend.”
“I honestly don’t know what to say, Buck”, Steve sighed after taking a sip from his beer. “I can’t apologize for falling for her.”
“And I don’t want you to”, Bucky shrugged.
“Then what do you want?” You asked confused.
“Time”, he simply said. You looked up at Steve and then back at Bucky. “I know I can’t blame you for falling in love more than you can blame me for feeling betrayed. But I ask you two to give me time. Time to adjust, again, to wrap my head around this, to move on like you’ve had the time to do. I don’t want to lose any of you but I can’t bare seeing you together right now.”
You bite your lip, tearing up slightly, not taking your eyes from Bucky. With a gulp, you nodded. It was the least you could do. It wasn’t fair to ask him to get used to the new situation right away when you had had five years to move on and fall in love again. He needed time, just like you had needed it.
“Of course”, Steve finally said.
“I just need to know something or I won’t be able to walk away”, Bucky said.
“What is it?” You asked. But Bucky looked at Steve.
“Do you truly love her? Like I do?”
Your throat got dry and Steve tensed. He looked down at you as you looked up at him. You had been sure of his feelings for you for a time now, just like you knew you loved him. But putting it into words was a complete different thing. And doing it in front of Bucky was out of this world. Yet, a small smile appeared on Steve’s face as a small blush appeared on his face.
“I do. I love her. More than anything”, he finally said.
Bucky nodded and looked at you, smiling slightly when he saw your teary eyes. He sighed and walked over his best friend to wrap an around him, palming his back a couple of times while Steve did the same thing.
“That’s all I need to know”, Bucky sighed and looked down at you. “I don’t even need to ask you.”
You chuckled and got up, wrapping your arms around his torso as he did the same around you, placing a kiss on top of your head. Then, he pulled away and looked at the two of you once again before walking to take his jacket from the hanger next to the door. He put it on and opened the door of the apartment.
“Bucky”, Steve said. “Don’t do anything stupid”, he said. Bucky gave him a half smile.
“How could I? You’re keeping all stupid with you”, he said, making Steve smile widely. “I’ll be in touch”, he said before walking out of the apartment and closing the door behind him.
You took a deep breath and leaned against Steve, trying not to break down in tears, which was an impossible task once Steve’s arms pulled you against his chest. You knew he would come back and everything would be okay, you would all be happy again, but at the moment you just felt like you did five years ago after the Snap. There was a hole in your chest that only Bucky could fill. It didn’t matter how much you loved Steve, Bucky had been a pillar in your life since you met him and losing him just after getting him back was as painful as the first time.
“He will be back”, he said against your hair.
“I know”, you said between tears. “I’ll just miss him.”
Note: it’s not my best work at all but I was on my period and came up with this. I wanted to share it with you so I hope you like it :) Please share!
If any of you want to be on my tag list let me know, but I’ll only add those who interact with the stories with reblogs and/or comments.
MASTERLIST
You didn’t sign up for this.
It just didn’t come in the contract you signed when you were born. Yeah, you were up for hangovers, headaches, anything… but when had you signed up to be a bloody mess every single month for half of your life?
It sucked. Being on your period sucked in every single way possible. Especially, the first few days of that long ass week. All you wanted to do was staying in bed, eating all the sugary food in the world, watching rom-coms all day and cuddled up in Tom’s arms. Of course, that last part was impossible when he was busy filming.
Going to Atlanta with him while he filmed the second Spider-Man movie had been a great decision. You both had had a really hard time when you had to be away when he was away for so long to make the last Avengers movie. Back then, you had only been dating for a few months and even if he wasn’t gone for too long since he wasn’t that much in the movie, it was the longest months of your life.
It all was different this time. You were together in Atlanta, living in the apartment he had rented for the time you were going to be living there. It had only been three weeks, but you had never been happier. At least until you bloody friend decided to join the party.
“What can I do?” Tom asked at six in the morning when you had left the bed to take some painkillers for the cramps.
“Nothing”, you sighed, cuddling up to him when you went back to bed.
He sighed and wrapped his arms around you, rubbing your back in a soothing way that had you sleeping in no time. He didn’t really go back to sleep since he had to be on set in less than two hours, but he spent all the time he could hugging you, trying to make you feel as comfortable as possible given the circumstances.
Tom knew how bad your periods were since he had been through many of them with you in the year and a half you had been together, but he had never been with you during a whole day, let alone a whole period. It was the first time he saw how bad your cramps were, how moody you were and how terrible it was for you. It made him feel so useless.
“Babe…” he whispered an hour later when his alarm went off and you stirred a bit. “I have to get up.”
“Already?” You whispered back, not opening your eyes.
“Yes”, he said after placing a kiss on your head. “I’m so sorry”. He added.
“Don’t worry”, you said and kissed his bare chest softly. “When will you be back?” You asked opening your eyes a little to look at him.
“I don’t know”, he honestly said. “As soon as possible, but…”
“But you’re Spider-Man”, you sighed. “I know, don’t worry”, you said.
“You’re okay?” He asked.
You nodded with your eyes back closed. He knew you weren’t okay, that you were only saying so to make him feel better, which wasn’t working at all. But he couldn’t stay home, it didn’t matter how much he wanted to. Yet, it took him all his strength to pull himself from you and get out of bed.
He took a quick shower and a quick breakfast, since he always had time to eat some more on set. Before leaving, he went back to the room where you had fallen back asleep. With a small smile, he went back to the kitchen to take a page from the notebook where you used to write the grocery lists and wrote a quick note for you. Then, he walked into the room and put it on his pillow before kissing your hair softly, trying not to wake you up, and finally walked out of the apartment. He was already late.
***
It was 9.30 a.m. when you woke up again. Taking the painkiller had been a big help and it had allowed you to rest for a couple of hours at least, but you still didn’t feel like leaving your bed. Usually, you would do your morning routine and some studying before going to set to have lunch with Tom and spend the rest of the afternoon and evening with him there, but not today.
You rolled over to his side of the bed to bury your face in his pillow, which still had his scent, and smiled a little. It was then when you touched a piece of paper you hadn’t seen. With a curious frown on your forehead, you took it and smiled as you recognised Tom’s handwriting.
“I’ll be back as soon as possible with chocolates and enough candy to feed a country for a year. I love you so much, babe. Tom.”
He really was the sweetest guy you had ever met. You took the phone from your bedside table and texted him: just got up and I’m already craving those candies. Love you xx.” You knew he wasn’t going to text back right away since he was busy filming, so you forced yourself to get out of the bed to take a shower.
***
“You’re distracted today”, Zendaya told Tom once they had finished filming a scene.
Tom had got to set that morning with his mind on you and he hadn’t been able to focus completely on the movie, which was causing a bit of delay. Usually he would pull himself together and do his job, but he felt awful for leaving you alone.
“Yeah, everything okay?” Harrison asked coming over to give him some water, like he used to do when they finished a scene.
“Yeah”, he nodded. “Do you have my phone?”
“Yeah”, Harrison said before giving him the device.
Tom unlocked it to see the text you had sent him a while ago. He smiled a little and texted back immediately. At least, it looked like you were feeling a bit better. Although it was really impossible to know from a simple text.
“Tom, we know you” Zendaya said, her arms crossed over her chest.
“It’s…” Tom sighed and locked his phone. “It’s just that (Y/N) is not feeling well today and I feel bad leaving her alone”, he finally explained.
“What’s wrong?” Harrison asked with a frown. “She was okay yesterday when I left your apartment.”
“She’s on her period”, Tom said with a shrug. “And I don’t know what to do.”
“To be honest, there’s not much you can do”, Harrison said. Tom glared at him. “Don’t look at me like that. You have to work!”
“Actually…” Zendaya said with a look that meant she was coming up with some idea. “You could try and do something.”
“What?” Tom asked.
“Why don’t you talk to Jon and ask for a day off?” She said.
“He won’t give it to me. I play Peter, I’m in almost every scene”, Tom said.
“Do you have anything to lose? It’s not like you’re yourself anyway”, Zendaya shrugged. “Just ask him. The worst-case scenario, you have to stay. But if he says yes, you can go back to (Y/N).”
***
Just like you had imagined, you had spent the whole morning in bed with Netflix on TV. You had almost finished the fifth season of Friends when you got up to go to the bathroom. It didn’t matter if you hadn’t done anything, you still felt exhausted, but it was how you always felt on these days. It was like you had ran the New York marathon without leaving the bed.
Of course, the fact that you had to spend the day alone didn’t help. You would never hold it against Tom. You knew it was impossible for him to stay home, but you missed him so much you wished he was there.
When you left the bathroom, you went to the kitchen to make yourself some tea. It would always relieve some of the cramps. Of course, taking a painkiller would be more effective, but you had already taken one that morning, so you didn’t want to take another one just yet. A tea would have to make it.
As you waited for the water to boil, you looked out of the window. It was a bright sunny day there in Atlanta, not as hot as Tom had told you it could be, but it was still pretty warm. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Tom in the suit. He would be boiling. With a smile, you took your phone from the counter to text him, but you stopped when you heard the door of the apartment opening.
Your face probably was worth taking a photo when you saw Tom walking in with a full plastic bag on his hand. He closed the door, left the keys on the counter next to it and turned to walk straight to the room where he probably thought you were. Instead, he saw you on the kitchen, looking at him like you had just seen a ghost.
“Surprise!” He said with a big smile.
“What?” You mumbled, making him laugh.
He walked over to the kitchen and left the bag on the counter. Then, he turned off the kettle, which was already boiling but you had obviously forgotten about it.
“What are you doing here?” You finally asked.
“I asked Jon if I could have a day off to be with you”, he simply said.
“But… I, I don’t understand”, you said.
With a smile, he got closer to you and wrapped both arms around your waist before kissing your forehead. Then, he told you about what had happened on set, about how distracted he was, his conversation with Zendaya and Harrison and how he had ended up asking Jon for a day off to be with you.
“He didn’t really like the idea, to be honest”, he then said. “But it turns out that Zendaya can be quite persuasive if you ask me.”
“And… so, you’re going to spend the day here? With me?” You asked.
“And I didn’t come alone”, he said pulling away from you, which only increased your confusion.
Tom took the bag he had previously set on the counter and started taking all kind of candy from it. Oreos, gummy bears, pop-tarts, ice cream, cupcakes, chocolates. Indeed, it could feed you for a whole month with what he had bought.
“Everything for my best girl”, he said when you asked him why he had brought all that. “Now… choose a rom-com while I make popcorns.”
“Stupid, Crazy Love?” You asked.
“I knew it”, he winked. You smiled widely and were about to go to the room when he grabbed you by your wrist, pulling you back to him. “I love you”, he said looking down at you.
“I love you too”, you smiled widely before kissing him. “But Ryan Gosling awaits”, you said against his lips and walked quickly towards the room, making Tom laugh.
“When you think of Gosling, think of who brough you Oreos!” He exclaimed.
