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Tuirse |Requested

Platonic!Smosh Cast xBlack!Reader

WIP Link, Found Family, Mentions of poor parent/child relationships, Oldest Daughter Syndrome, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending

Synopsis: Growing up, your family life was never great. So after you turned 18 you tried to put some distance, but now years later that distance is catching up to you.

“As a woman I hold so much sympathy for my mother, but as a daughter…I burn with anger.”

You should have known. That’s what you keep telling yourself. Because at this point it’s a repetitive pattern. So really in hindsight being blindsided by this was absolutely ridiculous.

From the moment you got to Los Angeles, you believed things were going to be different. Your parents were across the country, your siblings had other things to keep them busy. Things didn’t have to fall on you as the oldest child anymore. You had a new place to live and a new phone number. You were gone, you were done. You weren’t a doormat and you weren’t the family piggy bank anymore. Things were finally going your way and life actually felt like living for once.

You had a job that you loved, friends that you adored, you had a house that felt safe. Your walls were full of love and serenity. You lived in a house that never felt the rattle of slammed doors or the ricochet of broken objects thrown at its walls. Your house barely knew what anger sounded like outside of a video game loss. In your home you built a place full of all the comfort you once craved.

Outside of your house you had your job. Working at SMOSH had been a dream come true.

You had friends, you had support, you had love. You didn’t feel alone in the world anymore.

But of course, like sharks smelling a drop of blood in the water. Your parents seemed to always know when you were at your happiest. Always ready to snuff it out like an over used candle.

It started six months ago. Coincidentally right after your promotion was announced at Smosh. Going from a writer and games editor to a Cast member and Games Channel Assistant Director. You had already been in a handful of videos over your nearly three years with the company but it was finally official. You were now a cast member and fans were thrilled.

The Assistant director position came as a bit of a shock. But with Alexa transitioning out of the company, you thought it was temporary. You’d help Spencer when he needed it but you weren’t aiming for a promotion. So when it was given to you anyway, of course you accepted it.

Then it happened. Your mother who you hadn’t spoken to since you left home, texted you. Three long paragraphs. Each one longer than the last. Every line carefully curated to stab your insecurities, every sentence designed to lure your urge to please her, every demand worded in a way that read suggestion but breathed threat.

Your parents needed money. Apparently when your little sister got married she over spent. A wedding you didn’t even know took place before your mother’s text because you hadn’t been invited. The savings were gone and your father couldn’t work anymore. They’d have to sell the house soon and according to your mother you were the only one who could help. So you did what you’ve done your entire life… you grabbed a shovel and dug your parents out of the hole they created.

For three months, every Monday you sent your mother a check. $16,000 a week because that’s what she asked for. Because for your entire life, you grew to learn that when your mother didn’t get what she asked for she got mean. Mean to the world, mean to strangers, mean to you.

Then two weeks ago your little brother called. He lost his job and he needed a place to stay. You didn’t even k ow he was in California but still, you offered your couch without hesitation. Because what kind of big sister would you be if you didn’t.

Only your brother is a slob, he always had been. Your mom waited on him hand and foot. Giving him whatever he wanted his entire life so it should have been no surprise to you hoe he turned out. Quickly your home, your little safe corner of the world was filling with the stress you’d left in your home town and you didn’t know how to fix it.

The stress had slowly been building and all seemed to come to a head today. It was Monday and the first of the month.

You had to pay your mortgage which unfortunately meant you couldn’t send the full amount to your mom this week. Which you prayed would be okay just this once. Lying in your bed, you felt exhausted as you stared at the ceiling.

On your ceiling were small painted stars. You remember the day those stars got up there.

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Two Years Ago:

“I have always been fond of constellations. I used to watch them as a kid at night when I couldn’t sleep, you can see them very well in Los Angeles.” You shrugged as you leaned back in your chair with your feet propped up on your desk while you tossed a small tennis ball up in the air, catching it over and over. You and Spencer had been the only ones in the office pulling a late night to work on an outline for a games channel live stream.

“Like the Big Dipper and shit?” Spencer asked confused but you nodded your head without looking at him.

“The stars are kinda the only thing I miss about my hometown. They used to be so bright. I’d go out and just lay on the ground in my backyard until the sun rose.” You explained with a reminiscent smile. The conversation had slowly drifted back to work and you’d forgotten you even mentioned the stars to him that was until a few days later.

It was a Saturday and you had no plans. Spencer texted you asking to he could come over because he had a surprise and you agreed. A few minutes later he showed up with Angela, Amanda, Courtney, Tommy, Alex Aguilar, and Kiana. All of them held various buckets of glow in the dark paint, stencils, and paint brushes.

Spencer explained how he knew it wasn’t the same, but he thought it would be a nice way to see the stars again.

You all got to work, sending out a group message to the rest of the cast and crew inviting whoever was free. By Sunday night your bedroom ceiling was covered in tiny planets, stars and cute little rockets. Courtney and Angela even made a few paper planets to hang from the ceiling as well.

In the end, it was the kindest gesture you’d ever had directed at you. It had been the first time someone listened and did something for you before you even knew to ask for it.

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Right now staring at the ceiling was enough comfort to force you out of bed. Stumbling through the motions of preparing for work. However every step of the way was met with a hurdle.

In the shower you found that your body wash that you just bought was empty. That’s fine, you have more under the sink.

Brushing your teeth, the toothpaste tube was covered in toothpaste and the cap was missing, no big deal you’ll clean it off

You go to make your self some breakfast? Can’t have cereal because you’re out of milk. Can’t have toast or eggs because apparently you’re out of that too. The secret stash of muffins that Angela made just for you and delivered to your door last night? Those are also gone.

That’s fine, you can just have coffee and eat something at the office. Except, your brother apparently drank all the coffee creamer.

You go to get dressed grabbing your white Smosh hoodie from the laundry room only to find a giant stain across the middle like it had been used to clean something up. Ok, that’s less than fine. But you have other hoodies.

You try not to let it bother you as you get dressed and put your shoes on. But walking back through the living room, navigating through piles of your bother’s clothes you couldn’t help but be angry. Because sitting on your coffee table is a bowl full of untouched cereal, three muffins all half eaten, and your leftovers that you hadn’t even realized was missing but was supposed to be your dinner for the evening. And your brother? He laid sleeping peacefully on the couch as if he didn’t absolutely fuck up your entire morning.

So you shook him awake, probably not as gently as you would have any other day but who cares. He groaned slowly blinking up at you in confusion.

“What?” He asked before attempting to turn over and go back to sleep.

“You need to clean up in here. It stinks. Also next time you use the last of something or invite yourself to things in my house that aren’t actually for you. I’d appreciate it if you let me know.” You huffed and he just laid there with his eyes closed as if you hadn’t said a word so you snatched the blanket off him.

“HELLO?! IM TALKING TO YOU!” You yelled in frustration and he immediately sat up to snatch the blanket back but you stepped back before he could.

“God you are such a buzz kill. Fine I’ll clean up or whatever.” He sneered as if it was a great inconvenience to have to clean up after yourself in your 20’s.

You sighed throwing the blanket at his head before grabbing your bag, keys, and the travel mug that was unfortunately full of black coffee and headed to the door.

“Oh, can you get groceries later? You’re out of like everything.” Your brother called after you. You paused with your hand on the doorknob, closing your eyes as you took a deep breath.

“Fine.” You mumbled before leaving.

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The drive to work had been nothing but traffic. You didn’t have time to stop for breakfast or better coffee if you wanted to be on time. Which you absolutely did so food and caffeine would just have to wait.

Being stuck in traffic probably would have been a peaceful reprieve from your frustration if your mother didn’t text you. You hadn’t read the text but when the notification popped up the first thing you saw was:

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH YOUR BROTHER…

That text had immediately been followed by a rapid stream of other messages. The constant dig ringing through your car speaker and cutting off your music. It was enough to cause a headache and you hadn’t even made it to work yet.

Turning your radio down to drove in silence as you let out shaky breaths. You wanted to cry, but you didn’t want your coworkers to worry about you.

This was your baggage, it wouldn’t be fair to them if you unloaded it at work. Especially not on a Monday of a filming week. So you did what you always do. You pushed all the stress, all the noise, all the pressure, and all the anxiety that your family filled you with to the side.

It wouldn’t be fine. Soon your parents would be back on their feet. Your brother would have a new job and a place to stay, and hopefully your sister wouldn’t need anything from you in the meantime. It could be okay. You could get through this. You just had to be patient. No matter how lonely and exhausting being patient felt.

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Arriving to work instantly made you feel a bit better. The energy of your coworkers was infectious.

You walked over to your desk, slowly putting your stuff down. Smiling whenever anyone greeted you.

“There she is! How was your weekend?” Spencer greeted walking over with his laptop in his hands.

“Oh um, it was okay. How was yours?” You asked cringing immediately when you noticed you didn’t match his energy at all. However he didn’t seem to notice not that it helped you relax any.

“Eh, I spent the weekend looking over game ideas. There’s a new game I wanted to try for the channel, maybe we could play it this weekend?” He asked hopefully but before you could respond both of your attentions were turned to Angela who was now standing beside you holding your coffee cup with a frown.

“Is this black coffee? Since when do you drink black coffee?” She scoffed as if this was absolutely ridiculous but you only laughed. Although you were sure your smile didn’t exactly meet your eyes.

Taking the cup from her hands you looked between her and Spencer. Both of them looking at you like you’d grown a second head.

“My brother used all my creamer okay? Black coffee is fine.” You shrugged hoping that would be the end of it but it wasn’t.

“But you could have used milk. Did you at least put sugar in it?” Angela asked while Spencer just frowned further

“Black coffee is fine for people who actually like drinking it. You have never been one of those people.” He insisted.

The conversation was cut off once again. This time by Olivia who came over because she needed your help. You quickly followed after her, grateful for the interruption.

Taking a sip of your coffee you immediately grimaced at the bitter taste. Immediately regretting that you hadn’t thought to at least put sugar in it. Oh well, gotta get some caffeine somehow.

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The days that followed did not get any better.

Your brother was treating your house like his bachelor pad. Dirty clothes and used dishes spread everywhere. Inviting people over at odd hours. Going through groceries like he’d been practicing for an eating competition. He didn’t respect you or your space.

Then there was your mother. Who went from yelling at you about the check being short, to yelling at you because apparently asking your brother to clean up made him feel bad. Apparently allowing him to live in your home FOR FREE for the last two and a half weeks was nothing. According to your mother you weren’t doing enough to support him. You weren’t helping him enough even when you’d been doing all you could.

As for your father and your little sister? Well, your father just kept saying the same thing he always said. “You know how your mother gets. Just do what she asks and maybe she won’t be angry anymore.” A phrase you have heard your entire life. A phrase you were so sick of hearing but didn’t actually know how to escape.

And finally your sister. Your sister who made some financial advisor in Miami, was now a stay at home wife. She was desperately trying to become a beauty influencer and wanted to use your name and your Smosh fan base to do it. Which technically would be fine if she didn’t constantly talk shit about your job. Saying you were all just over grown children who needed to grow up instead of playing video games all day.

So really it wasn’t hard to understand why you were a walking ball of anxiety.

The tipping point in all of this had been what you could only describe as the absolute downfall of your mental stability.

For three years, you had been known as someone who was always on time. Incredibly reliable, never needing a reminder, just always on top of things.

So completely missing a deadline was absolutely unheard of. But you did.

“What?” You asked in horror while looking between Ian, Anthony, and Spencer.

“The games video…for tomorrow? Did you finish it?” Spencer asked almost amused as if he genuinely thought you were joking. Which why wouldn’t he, you have literally never fucked up this bad.

“Tomorrow? No it’s not…” You started to say as you shook your head while opening the camera app on your phone. Sure enough on tomorrow’s date you had three scheduled events.

•Games Video Edit Due

•Send Money to Mom

•Call job recruiter for brother

“Shit.” You hissed before slipping your phone back in your pocket. Looking at the three men in front you could practically feel the concern pouring off of them in waves.

“Um, I’ll have it done by the end of the day.” You promised. Rushing to your desk to work on it until it was time to film.

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Unfortunately you couldn’t say that forgetting one deadline is where things stopped for you. If anything, everything just progressively got worse.

You felt like you were drowning inside your own head with no rescue in sight. Even if you could ask for help, you had no idea what to say or even who to ask.

Then fans started noticing. Edits upon edits of you zoning out in videos. Not laughing along to jokes in livestreams. Your usual banter was gone and it was clear to anyone who had been a fan for ages.

However before the fans noticed, your friends did. First it was Spencer, you had cancelled three hangouts in a row. Two of which had been work related.

Then Angela noticed. The shared jokes and banter you both had in videos would be met with a blank stare. Off set you seemed tired, stiff even as if you were just going through the motions but you weren’t really present.

Cortney noticed several things. But what finally caused them to do something about it was seeing the look on your face one random Thursday afternoon.

It was right as lunch was ending. You had been hidden away in a conference room all morning working. She didn’t even know if you’d taken a break. But watching you step out of that room, phone gripped tightly in your hand as a dazed and clouded look covered your features.

“Hey?” They whispered as not to startle you but it didn’t matter. Courtney’s heart absolutely shattered when you flinched at the sound of their voice. As if you’d been so trapped in your head you’d literally forgotten where you were.

“Hey Court! Sorry, did you need the room? I can move to the other one. Just let me-“

“No no, it’s okay I just. I wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?” They asked softly, studying the way your eyes seemed to look through them. Completely unfocused and glazed over. Courtney almost wanted to ask when the last time you slept was but she didn’t want you to think you were being interrogated.

“Me? What? Oh yeah I’m fine. Everything is fine.” You lied putting a wide fake smile on your face. One you had practiced and protected by the age of nine.

But it didn’t work. Not here. Not at Smosh where people knew you. Where everyone knew and recognized what your real smile looked like. As if you’d could sense it, you quickly changed the topic.

“I have to go call my mom before my break ends. So I’ll see you later.” You rushed out, walking away without waiting for a response.

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“Okay, I’ve had it. We have to do something.” Angela demanded while looking around. It was the end of the work day and everyone had been packing up to leave.

Before the stress you would have stayed back a bit. Wanting to talk as everyone walked out to their cars together. But now? Now as soon as you were done for the day you were practically sprinting to your car.

“About?” Amanda asked turning to see Angela staring at your desk. Normally neat and tidy but now currently covered in sticky notes. You practically had to remind yourself to breathe these days.

“Angela’s right. She’s been off for weeks. The other day I saw her accidentally pour half a cup of hot tea on her lap a she barely even reacted.” Chanse pointed out earning looks of concern from everyone who heard him.

“I tried to check in with her last week. But she told me she was fine even when it’s so clear that she’s not.” Courtney sighed, running a hand through their hair.

“Same thing happened to me yesterday. She said she was fine and did that weird smile thing she’s been doing lately.” Damien frowned. His bag slung over his shoulder as he contemplated what they should do.

“Do you…do you think she even knows something is wrong? Like maybe this is something not new and she doesn’t even realize she’s struggling?” Ian hesitantly asked and everyone looked around at each other while processing his words.

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It took longer than anyone wanted to admit to find a way to help you.

Up first, Courtney sent Shayne. Deciding it was time to use that degree for something other than a Smosh video.

So Shayne casually walked over to you while you were sitting at your desk during lunch. He asked if the two of you could talk which you didn’t mind. Shayne had always been easy to talk to. Talking to Shayne felt like what you wanted it to feel like when you interacted with your brother.

So really it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to you that you went from talking about Stardew Valley updates, to your actual brother. You talked about how you wanted to help him because he was family but at the same time you hated that you had to be the one to do it.

“Why?” Shayne asked suddenly and you paused looking at him in confusion.

“Why what?” You laughed

“Why do you have to be the one to do it?” He supplied and you frowned

“Well because he’s my little brother. I just…I…I guess I’ve never thought about why beyond that.” You hummed shocked with yourself. That was just what it had always been from the moment he was born.

‘This is your baby brother so you have to take care of him’

You never really thought about it any other way because you’d never been given the opportunity to do so.

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A few days after talking to Shayne, you spent a lot of time thinking things over. You decided Shayne was right. Why did you have to be the one to do it?

Easy answer? Because you allowed yourself to be that person for so long that it felt like obligation.

But you had an obligation to yourself and to the life that you built here in LA. One that was rapidly falling apart at the seams. You could barely afford rent, you couldn’t keep groceries, and you couldn’t even sleep.

So…why not just, stop?

The first thing you did was you turned off the automatic payments to your parents. If you could figure it out, so could they. And if they couldn’t? Well they had two other adult kids who could finally help for once. Or didn’t have to be you all the time.

Then after getting off the phone with the bank, you went to your living room where your bother was loudly playing your video games. You turned off the console, standing in of the TV with your hands on your hips.

“HEY!” Hey yelled angrily

“You need to get a job.” You demanded and he scoffed rolling his eyes.

“Whatever-“

“No, not whatever. And I wasn’t done. You aren’t a little kid anymore and I am not your mother. If you want to freeload in someone’s house move back home. In fact, move back home anyway. I want you out by the end of the month.” You said firmly and he stared at you with wide eyes looking like a fish out of water the way he kept opening and closing his mouth.

Then finally his shock was replaced with anger as he stood up from the couch.

“That’s like two weeks away! You can’t do that! I’ll…I’ll call mom!” He exclaimed and you couldn’t help but laugh. A threat that normally would have worked but suddenly no longer had any effect.

“Call her. Maybe she’ll finally visit LA now that her precious baby needs her.” You laughed humorlessly before walking over to grab your purse and slip your shoes on.

“Where are you going?” He asked in disbelief. You grabbed your car keys and opened the door before responding.

“Out. Believe it or not, I can actually be someone other than this family’s fucking doormat.” You said over your shoulder, slamming the door behind you.

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“Look who it is!” Spencer cheered opening his front door with a wide smile.

“Hey Spence. Did you guys start without me?” You asked walking inside behind him. You could hear a few of your friends talking in the living room while you kicked your shoes off. Pushing them to the side next to Tommy’s boots.

“Nah, still waiting on a few more people.” He explained while studying you. You couldn’t help but laugh at the fond look on his face.

“What?” You smiled but she only returned it while shaking his head.

“I just missed you.” He shrugged before leading you to the living room. Spencer invited everyone over for a teams style Smash Ultimate Tournament livestream to celebrate his twitch channel reaching 1M subscribers.

“Hey!” Angela cheered when she saw you, a wine glasses and a slice of pizza in each hand. You smiled and sat down next to her, leaning in for a hug.

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You wouldn’t say things immediately got better for you but they did eventually.

Your brother did end up moving out. First it was to stay with a friend before enviably moving back home. As for getting a job, well he still would rather play video games at home all day.

Your mother continued to try and guilt trip you about money and providing for the family. But you told her it wasn’t your job to pay for a house that never felt like home. When the guilt trips and manipulation attempts didn’t stop, you decided it wasn’t finally time to officially go no contact. You loved your mother, shed your mom. But loving from a distance was all you could offer her.

Your sister never really did give up the whole influencer thing, but she did stop trying to use Smosh fans to do it. Apparently she’d said some rather awful things about you and the company that you never cared to look into. Fans were quick to place loyalty and defend you not that you needed it. But you definitely appreciated it nonetheless.

And as for your father? He filed for divorce and is now attending weekly therapy sessions. Sometimes you join via zoom. He wants a relationship with you and he has apologized for the way he treated you and for allowing your mother to treat you the way she had. You were grateful for the apology but true forgiveness has yet to be earned.

Finally as for you and your home? Your house became your safe space again. Work was back to normal and you were regularly seeing a therapist.

“Hey, ready for the day?” Angela asked as you both got out of your cars outside the office.

In your hands was a travel mug and a homemade muffin Angela had baked at your house the night before. Your coffee prepared exactly the way like it.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” You agreed linking one of your arms with her’s before you both walked inside.

Yay! Another fic done! I hope this is close to what you wanted. I definitely got a bit carried away with this one. 🫣. @toneystank-3000

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