#poor self esteem

[moonfall-wreckage]

Whumpsgiving No. 3

Held by @snakes-events-blog

Prompt by @thepenultimateword here.

Content: self derisive whumpee, hench x villain, mentions of death, aftermath of torture

Useless

They were useless. They remembered the exact moment it all became too much and they gave in to the torture. And now, now their head was empty. Every train of thought derailed. Every idea vanished in a puff of smoke. They weren't even sure they knew their own name anymore. Their captors said it was Henchman.

So, with all the reasons they couldn't possibly live up to their old super genius, how was Villain standing above them, tenderly undoing the wires wrapped around their wrists and ankles?

It didn't compute. But hardly anything did. Their head felt like cold oatmeal.

"Just stay with me. I've got you," Villain crooned, voice unusually soft, like Henchman couldn't take anything louder. They probably couldn't.

The world around them tilted and blurred as they were scooped up into warm, strong, sculpted arms.

Was Villain carrying them?

"I'm not your wife," Henchman slurred.

Villain tensed. "Henchman? What did you say? What do you need?"

The concern on their face was like a cold shaft in Henchman's gut. They were supposed to be strong, the one with a plan for every possible outcome, good or bad. They were supposed to be smart, calculating, fast.

But they couldn't keep up with the one person who always kept up with them. Something ached in their chest, a bitter loss that went deeper than the broken ribs.

"I'm not..."

Villain had reached the car. For the first time, hench noticed the carnage behind them. Villain must've cut them all down. To get to...them. To save them.

Why couldn't anything just make sense. Their brain hurt.

"Not what?" Villain asked as they gently situated Hench in the back seat. They climbed in, pillowing Hench's head in their lap as the driver took off.

"Why did you--" Hench's voice gave out before they could finish.

Villain ran cold fingers across their forehead and down to their jaw. "Just rest. We'll get you ship-shape in no time."

A pained sound left Hench and Villain's brow pinched with something like concern.

"Hench. What is it?" Villain pinned them with a gaze.

Hench looked away just for Villain's fingers to grasp their hair and pull them back. It didn't hurt but there was no refusing it.

The tears came then. Villain looked lost.

"How can you want me still?"

"Oh. Oh, sweetheart." Villain placed their hands on either side of Hench's face. "How could I not?"

"But I'm useless. I don't even know who I am anymore!" They trembled.

"Okay. Things will be different. But that doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile. When I thought I'd lost you..." Villain quieted and leaned their forehead down to Hench's.

"Really? You think it will be worthwhile?"

"Yes, I do."

"Okay, boss."

And together, they made it so.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Burnout can Cause

Feelings os isolation

Negative thoughts

Independence incapacity

Feelings of self doubt

Poor self image/concept

Poor mental health

Reduced quality of life

Feelings of self loathing

Littlepuddins.ie

[reignmaefall]

"I wish we could switch bodies so you could see yourself the way I see you" "my biggest fear is you seeing me the way I see myself" nah fuck that.

I wish you saw me the way I see myself.

So you weren't too blinded by rose-colored glasses to see my flaws. So you could see my beauty and my ugly coexist. I wish you saw the parts of me people don't get to see, how my eyes get red when I cry and it makes my irises look like crystals. How my hair looks when I get out of the shower, dripping down my shoulders and curling in ringlets before it dries a frizzy blob of half-defined waves.

I wish you saw my flaws the way that I see them. I wish you saw my skin, that's so pale I sparkle in the sun like a twilight character, as something beautiful and magnificent and fantastically magical instead of something I had to fix. I wish you saw my smudged mascara as a form of abstract art the way that I do instead of something I have to re-do. I wish you saw my short-temper as a reflection of my passion for things other people would deem trivial.

I wish you saw me the way I do. I wish you noticed the things about me only I do. How my smile is odd and crinkles my eyes unevenly. How my face is asymmetrically symmetrical, but so my brain, as cluttered and scattered as it is. How my face is always pink and it gets flushed when I smile. How my jaw is sort of funky and my nose is sort of thin and how my eyes are kind of sunken. How my freckles are light and scattered across my face. I wish you saw the freckles that only I've seen, because you have to look at my face real close to notice, like the one on my lip and the ones in my eyebrows. I wish you caught me counting my steps in 4's (one two three four, one two three four, one two three four..). I wish you caught me counting everything in 4's the way that I do. I wish you saw how poetic my mind is. How my mind is a never-ending factory of stories and hopeless romantic brain rot and a scatter-board of everything you can think of. How the vein in my neck bulges when I get worked up about something. How im always touching my face or my hair or fidgeting with something in my hands. I wish you saw my scars and thought of me as not a victim but a survivor. I wish you saw me as not a victim but someone in recovery and doing so well and having grown so much. I wish you saw me the way that I see me.

Beautiful. Because I am beautiful. And I know it. And I'm tired of pretending like I don't. I'm tired of pretending to hate myself because society says it's better than being self-obsessed. But fuck that. I love myself. I love myself. I love myself I love myself. I weird and odd and I can be obnoxious but it's endearing and I love that I try so hard to make other people laugh that I end up looking like a fool. And I love my appearance and fuck society for ever convincing me I don't. And I love my personality and fuck society for calling me narcissistic for that. I think im smart and funny and passionate and cool and beautiful.

I think that I am beautiful. Because there is so much beauty in this world. And we're only here for so long and people come and go but we have to stay with ourselves, we can't leave, there's no use hating ourselves. I love myself and fuck you if you think that's narcissistic. I'm beautiful and flawed and oh so human and I have spent so much of my life obsessing over my appearance and hating myself deep into my core that I missed out on so many memories and opportunities and so much of life, and fuck it because there is so much beauty in this world and I want to see it and I'm tired of pretending that I don't see it in myself. I'm human. And I'm perfectly imperfect.

So yeah. Fuck it. I wish you saw me the way I saw myself. Because then you'd see how beautiful I am

[slightlyobsessed513]

My coworkers made me very upset today.

They had a kid in the wall. The teacher, within listening distance told another teacher that the kid was a “horrible child”.

It happens all the time.

How do they think this affects these kids? They hear that they are bad. “If the grownups think I’m horrible, maybe I am”. It kills the kid’s self esteem and leads to a life of self hatred and feeling like they are they are never enough

Maybe the teachers are the horrible ones

[raccoon-shit]

I feel bad being non-binary ... I have low self-esteem so that's it:

I am an ugly woman ... I am an ugly man ... I am someone very ugly

[ohdearwhatcouldthematterbe]

Art print- https://society6.com/product/buzz-buzz-buzz1301883_print?sku=s6-9143023p4a1v45

Poem from my book ‘Words for the wounded’- https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/offer-listing/1543489346/ref=tmm_pap_new_olp_sr?ie=UTF8&condition=new&qid=1525609419&sr=1-1

[kamiyu910]

I have a character who has a lot of talent and power, but she keeps failing at things and messing things up, and it’s because she has absolutely no confidence in her abilities and is constantly doubting herself and saying that she will fail, creating a self fulfilling prophesy. 

We do that stuff all the time. I see it constantly, especially with artists! I see people say, “Oh I wish I had your talent.” and “I could never do something like that.” I see people bemoan about how they’ll never get anywhere, and they don’t even try. They just stay stagnant in their self doubt, instead of trying, thus ensuring they will fail.

With that mindset, you won’t get anywhere. But, there’s a good chance that, hey, if you actually put your mind to it, you could do it! I know I always thought I was bad at art (yes, me), but I still tried. I still worked hard to constantly get better, because despite hating my art, I’ve always had this drive to be the best I can possibly be, and while I still have a ways to go, I’ve come a long ways, and honestly I’m where I didn’t think I’d ever get, despite constantly trying anyway.

You just need patience and confidence, and a goal in mind to constantly strive for. Be the person you want to be, just know it takes time.

[slightlyobsessed513]

I can always count on myself to disappoint myself