Jaskier and Geralt stage a fake breakup. Someone’s feelings get hurt for real.
The reverse trope series: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]
AO3
“… It would be to take you off my hands!”
Geralt’s voice echoes in the ballroom, between the tall walls and the high ceiling. Everyone on the dance floor has fallen into silence. Even the band has stopped playing, their lead singer gaping with round eyes.
Jaskier blinks, impressed.
All the eyes are on the two of them. Jaskier’s back prickles with the gazes. As the fight escalated, more and more guests have stopped dancing just to eavesdrop on the witcher and the bard, the most peculiar couple in the room.
Which is just perfect. The more people witnessing their breakup, the more awkward it will be afterward, and the easier it will be to get out of this tedious party. And here Jaskier is, regretting ever having doubted his dear witcher’s ability to perform.
Who would have thought Geralt is a method actor? Drawing inspiration from a past argument is ingenious.
His old acting professor back in Oxenfurt would approve of this. The show is going swimmingly and he is pumped with adrenaline—maybe he should go back on stage one day, do a play or two.
But alas, he can muse the idea later. The show must go on.
“Really? Just like that?” Jaskier croaks, seemingly on the verge of crying. He’s not so bad himself, classically trained and everything. “Thirty years, Geralt. I followed you for thirty years, and just like that, you will kick me out of your life? Did I ever—” he breaks off with a whimper. “Did I ever mean anything to you? Or were you ready to cast me aside this whole time?”
A tear rolls down. His lips wobble. The crowd erupts in hushed murmurs and sympathetic sighs. The set-up, the build, everything has been perfect. Now the only thing left is for Geralt to break things off, and the two of them can ride into the metaphorical sunset and never see this court again.
Jaskier waits in anticipation, but his witcher opens his mouth.
And closes it.
Geralt looks as upset as he should, angry and torn and equally shocked, his golden eyes wide and his jaw clenched tight. It’s a nice picture to paint for the audience. They are supposedly having the biggest fight in their lives and his body language is very convincing.
More than convincing.
Except, it just might be … too convincing.
Wait—
Jaskier focuses on Geralt, who looks as if he wants to shrink into himself, his shoulders slumped and arms drawn in. He looks as if he’s waiting to be struck. Wait, something’s not right.
“I can’t do this.” A whisper leaves Geralt’s lips, small and achingly sad.
It’s not the line he’s supposed to say.
Geralt’s eyebrows droop ever so slightly, and there’s a flash of distress behind the molten gold. It’s gone in a second, hidden behind a façade of indifference.
The tells are subtle, near imperceivable to the untrained eye, but to Jaskier, they are clear as day—Geralt is hurt. For real.
Oh.
Fuck.
“Geralt,” Jaskier tries, instantly snapped out of his character.
And yet, there’s no reply. Geralt lowers his head, turns around, and flees the scene within one heartbeat and the next. The crowd is too eager to make way for him.
“Shit,” Jaskier curses, ready to chase after Geralt, but the Countess de Stael appears out of nowhere with a flock of maids and positively blocks him in all directions. She’s eager to lament the loss of love and companionship, and to offer Jaskier a place at her court once again. Oh, shit.
Jaskier brushes her off, all the while painfully remembering he and Geralt’s goal from the beginning—to use the breakup as an excuse to get out of this place.
Well, the plan is shit. Is it too late to notice?
Weaving through dozens of nobles is a lot more difficult when they all want to extend sympathy, and Jaskier is only placating them absent-mindedly, faking regret and heartbreak. His mind is full of his witcher, who is either brooding or spiraling over the venom he spewed earlier.
The truth is, Jaskier has long forgotten about the mountain—not because it didn’t hurt. To be shunned by Geralt, blamed for everything, and denied friendship, was the worst thing to have happened to him at the time. It’s just that Jaskier has forgiven it, so long ago and so completely.
Jaskier cannot get to their room fast enough, and when he pushes open the door, the sight of Geralt’s dejected face is a stab through the chest. The witcher is perched on the bed, somehow looking a lot smaller than he is.
Jaskier never should have come up with the stupid fake breakup thing, never should have inadvertently reopened the old wound. They healed, together. They shouldn’t be hurting anymore.
“I explained. We can leave now,” Jaskier tires, but in fairness, he doesn’t remember what he said to the Countess. “Geralt?”
The witcher himself crosses his arms, hugging his midriff and avoiding Jaskier’s gaze. “Good,” he answers curtly, shoulders still tense.
He looks angry, and when Geralt is angry, it’s most likely with himself. Oh, whatever heartbreak Jaskier acted out earlier, it’s not a match to a fraction of what he’s feeling now. It must be the one millionth time Geralt’s self-loathing has broken Jaskier’s heart, and it never gets easier, not when Jaskier caused it himself.
“Hey.” Jaskier desperately wants to wrap his arms around Geralt. So he does. He sits down on the bed and pulls his witcher into the biggest bear hug, which is returned immediately and so very tightly. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I fucked up, Geralt. I’m—”
“Don’t be.” Geralt buries his nose into Jaskier’s neck and shakes his head. “I never should have said those things, Jask. I should be the one apologizing. It was wrong and untrue and I would never abandon you. You are my best friend. How can I ever? Please, believe me…”
Geralt trails off, his hands rubbing circles into Jaskier’s back. Although it’s unclear who he’s trying to soothe.
“I know. It’s okay. I know,” Jaskier murmurs, over and over again, sealing each reassurance with a kiss pressed into silver hair.
“I never meant it, Jask.”
“I know. It was fake. We were pretending.”
Geralt pulls away, golden eyes dead serious, pausing between every word. “I never meant it.”
Jaskier meets his gaze unwaveringly, with not an ounce of doubt. “I know.”
They stay there for a while, just holding each other. Geralt keeps sniffing Jaskier’s scent the same way he always does to check for injury or distress. He thinks he’s subtle, the sweet man, so Jaskier never mentions it.
Despite what an outsider might assume, Geralt is the sensitive one between the two. He’s so careful when it comes to their relationship, especially after the mountain and sometimes to his own detriment.
He’s so scared of hurting Jaskier again.
“I was an idiot for suggesting it,” Jaskier breaks the silence, nudging Geralt in the knee.
Geralt hums, lips pursed.
“Fake breakup is a terrible idea. Next time we’ll just grit our teeth and sit through the month-long party.”
Still, no smile.
“Alright, you win. Next time I won’t take you to a month-long party to start with.” Jaskier gently pats Geralt on the cheek. “For your delicate sensibilities, darling.”
Finally, finally, Geralt’s lips turn upwards, just a smidge.
“You are an idiot,” Geralt says, the crease between his brows fading. “Just…don’t make me make you cry again.”
Melting into the warmth welling up between his ribcage, Jaskier leans forward and presses a tiny kiss at his witcher’s forehead, so softly as if he’d break with any more force.
“Yes, dear.”
Being careless with Geralt’s heart is a mistake that Jaskier never wants to repeat. As he put a hand over his witcher’s languid heartbeat, Jaskier feels the soft thrumming against his palm, and realizes just how terribly he needs to guard it with the same care too. Against his frivolous self, and against the past that never seems to stop haunting them.
Because Jaskier needs this thing between them to work. If a faked breakup already seems unbearable, he shudders to imagine a real one.
A witcher’s life is already riddled with pain and sadness and could-have-beens. A poet would hate it if he added himself to the list.
also... if you're taking asks... what do you think of neocremancer!Jaskier? I've built this entire au thing in my head about neocremancy and maybe if Jaskier was killed or something after the Fall of Cintra and was resurrected as a neocremancer... my imagination likes to go crazy... But what do you think? Before or after the Dragon Hunt? Crazy powerful or rather weak? Badass or pacifist? What would you want to do with this?
oh I have MANY thoughts about necromancer!jaskier, it’s one of my very favorite non-human jaskier things!
I think that some people are born with the capacity to become a necromancer, but have no idea until something traumatic happens to them that triggers it (like being killed)
post the mountain (dragon hunt) jaskier is on the road traveling to the next tavern to drown his sorrows about the love of his life wanting nothing to do with him in when he’s attacked by bandits
jaskier has always had a little too much fight in him, and he’s had a bad last few weeks and the last thing he needs is someone stealing his hard earned coin
so he fights back and gets stabbed for his troubles
he’s left bleeding on the side of the road, thrown into a ditch with his precious lute and his pack full of pretty clothes (his coin purse goes with the bandits)
jaskier bleeds out in the dirt, staring up at the blue sky and wondering who will find his body, if they’ll bother to bury him or leave him to rot
the last thing he wonders before his eyes close is whether or not geralt will care when he discovers his bard has died. will he mourn him? then everything is black
everything is dark when jaskier opens his eyes again, but then he sees the twinkle of stars in the night sky and is confused
is he dead? but if he is dead would he still be lying in this ditch in a pool of his own dried blood?
jaskier sits up and finds no hole where the bandits had stabbed him through his chest. his lute is miraculously untouched, and his pack lies beside him. it’s night now, but he can see through the darkness unlike he had ever been able to see before
I think it would take jaskier a pretty decently long time to realize he’s been reborn as a necromancer, as smart as he is he’s also excellent at denial and explains away all of the weird abilities he’s gained as coincidence
(although how summoning skeletons can be a coincidence i’ve no idea)
he runs into triss who expresses her confusion, she didn’t know he was a necromancer!
and jaskier is.....confusion
triss very helpfully explains the nuances of necromancy and how necromancers are created, and offers to assist him in learning how to use some of his powers
jaskier is surprisingly powerful for a necromancer, one of the most gifted triss has ever seen, which confuses jaskier even more because he doesn’t feel very powerful
he’s a natural at his powers, maybe a bit too much of a natural at the way he has a habit of accidentally summoning the undead
jaskier is by nature not usually a very violent person, so he prefers to use his abilities for good rather than mass evil
but jaskier has also always had a temper (geralt knows this especially by the amount of bar fights he’s had to drag the bard out of) so when someone hurts someone or something he loves, all of his pacifist beliefs are off the table and jaskier is ready to throw hands
he’ll do anything for the people he loves, even if they don’t love him back
which is why when he hears about the fall of cintra, and of the witcher, witch, and princess on the run from nilfgaard he knows what he has to do
geralt may not be interested in being friends with jaskier, much less lovers, and yennefer has never been fond of him, but jaskier has spent many a night singing the princess to sleep and he couldn’t stand to see the people he loves be hurt
so he sets off, determined to help them even if they don’t want him
wow, that went a little longer than expected. I hope you enjoyed! Worthy of a continuation?
May I request Jaskier teaching Geralt some of the intricacies and etiquette of the courts 👀 like Geralt's gotta make a really good impression to some noble for Ciri or something so it's important but none of these rules make any fucking sense Jaskier
I’m gonna try and bullet point this one! Hopefully you don’t mind!
Geralt finds Jaskier after the mountain and apologises for his words, Jaskier accepts the apology but there’s a glint in his eye that Geralt doesn’t quite trust.
Jaskier agrees to travel with Geralt again. Melitele knows the witcher will need help to prise his child surprise from Calanthe’s grasp.
And maybe he can have some harmless fun whilst he’s at it.
Jaskier spends his evenings “educating” Geralt on the traditions of Lettenhove.
“Yes, Geralt you need to be able to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time whilst bowing, yes of course I can do it! I’m a Viscount!”
Geralt gets increasingly suspicious of Jaskier’s teaching but he doesn’t know enough about the etiquette to challenge him... at least not directly.
So he waits... chooses his moment carefully.
It’s only when Geralt actually agrees to learn the “Traditional Song of Cintran Courts” on his precious lute that Jaskier starts to question his choices.
Lutes are fragile and his lute is priceless.
Geralt insists though, no matter how many times Jaskier tries to argue. Geralt is determined to prove himself worthy of his Destiny.
Jaskier is shaking as he hands over his lute to the witcher.
And it’s only then that he notices... Geralt is laughing at him.
Jaskier pulls the lute back into his hands, craddling it to his chest and glaring at his witcher.
Turns out Geralt had suspected from almost the beginning that Jaskier was playing games, but after their argument he’d allowed Jaskier to have his fun.
He enjoyed seeing his bard happy again.
The game is over but the both laugh about it during winter when they are finally joined by young Ciri, she laughs the hardest when Geralt attempts the made up Ancient Cintran greeting that Jaskier had taught him.
Half a lifetime later, Ciri still greets both witcher and bard with the nonsense language, and it never fails to make them smile.
i just imagine jaskier imagining and day dreaming all sorts of ways geralt will ask for his forgiveness xD and in the end none of it happens they just meet up again and they dont talk about it and jask the lil shit be like fake coughing wiggling his eye brows like "geralt dont you think you have something to say to me" and geralt just be like having no idea how to apologize and feeling terrible and tries to apologize by doing little favors but jask just keep missing it xD
“Geralt,” the bard frowns, tapping his foot impatiently. “Don’t you have something to say to me?”
“No?” the witcher frowns back, confused.
“After- Even after all-” Jaskier sputters, eyes blinking furiously. “You said-!”
“What more do you want!?” Geralt snarls. “I’ve fixed the hole in your boots, found campgrounds with even ground for the past three nights, and even let you sleep late when we stayed at the inn!”
“Those are just nice things to do, Geralt, they are not an apology!”
Geralt deflates a little and Jaskier feels guilt creeping up the back of his neck, even though it shouldn’t. He deserves this apology.
“I’m not good with words,” Geralt sighs, stepping forward. “But actions...”
Jaskier nods, understanding. Smiling a little, even.
Geralt wasn't sure when it started, maybe it was the first time the bard said goodbye to him and went his own way, who knows, but it became a habit, finding small pieces of paper in his bags after Jaskier left, notes, reminders, stories, curiosities, anything. Things that the bard wrote days before leaving and hid in Geralt's things - the first time the witcher was very surprised that Jaskier was able to do it without him noticing.
The first paper left behind was Jaskier describing a drowner - in a much more poetic way than necessary - and at the end a small note “this one exists, but it doesn't make a good song, I hope to hear your new adventures soon”.
He ignored it and he doesn't remember if he threw the paper away or if it got lost among his belongings, not that he cared, Geralt didn't think he would see the bard again, anyway.
Destiny proved him wrong, Jaskier always managed to find him again, always so lively and energetic that sometimes it annoyed him. But, now, a constant in his life.
Constant. Like all those goodbye notes.
Geralt got used to it, looking for the papers that were left behind, he never said anything to Jaskier, but sometimes it seemed that the bard knew, he knew that the Path was lonely and nights in the woods could be boring, so he always left something to let Geralt know that there's someone out there who cared, who was waiting to see him again.
The papers increased in number over time, Jaskier has even left complete stories and ballads behind, things he probably wrote in the moments when they were not traveling together and that, thinking about Jaskier doing that, spending his time on something just for Geralt, made the witcher's chest tighten in a way he didn't want to understand why.
He also wrote on those papers where he would be at a certain time of year and more than once Geralt found himself heading towards the place mentioned - because of some contract, obviously, not because he wanted to see Jaskier, he told himself more than once.
After what happened with the djinn, Geralt should have realized that something has changed. The notes continued to be left among his things, but they were brief, telling him to be safe, now and then with a place to find him - Geralt would go if a sorceress with violet eyes didn't show up on the way - no more poetry, no more stories. Nothing to keep his nights less lonely, but he didn't realize it.
And he should have thought better, he shouldn't have let his anger out of control and shouted those words, because he knew that even as time went on, even if one day he was able to apologize, those words would linger in the air, hurting not only himself, but the only constant he had in his life. The only constant that has chosen to stay in his life - until now.
After seeing the camp empty, Geralt searched everything - each one of his bags, each one of his belongings - and with a huge lump in his throat, he sat on the floor staring at where a lute's case should be.
Jaskier left no paper behind.
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okay but what if Geralt didn’t regret what he said atop the Mountain and believed he was in the right?? and then he meets up with Jaskier again, no apology, thinks all is well and good and that Jaskier just got over it because it “was nothing, Jaskier always forgives me, i didn’t say anything that wasn’t true??” and insists on bringing him to Kaer Morhen because he is a person of interest for Nilfgaard and could give up sensitive information about witchers and Geralt’s child surprise
that’s all. he doesn’t give Jaskier reason to believe he wants Jaskier there for any other reason, only so that he doesn’t turn into a snitch
and Jaskier is just crushed. he didn’t expect a heartfelt apology from his witcher, he knew his witcher wasn’t one for words, but he had thought Geralt would feel guilty about it. but Geralt just brushing it off as if nothing happened? Jaskier feels equal parts miserable and enraged
“it was just a stupid fight -”
“what fight?! there was no fight! it was you, on that that mountain, yelling at me! i had no part in it. i had no say. you’ve treated me like shit this entire time and i never took anything out on you. there was no fight because it was only you hurting me”
Geralt gave Jaskier his journals - not the ones about his contracts, but the ones he wrote (and sketched) Jaskier in.
This is what Jaskier finds...
Tried something new with this one - it’s all journal entries and a bunch of little sketches. it’s also somehow the longest part of this series which is also almost t 30k now - how? Putting it in parts like this was definitely deceptive.
