I think about Roman, Patton, Logan, and Thomas not taking Virgil very maturely and carefully telling them he didn't consent or feel comfortable being shapeshifted without a way to turn back seriously, and (Even though they did apologize and make do better moving forward) only shapeshifting him back once it was clear this wasn't working for Thomas instead of when they realized he was seriously feeling violated a lot.
I'm sure there's a though-provoking thing to be said about their characters, how they've grown, and an interesting underlying problem about the sides as a whole somewhere.
You know how Logan has a notebook where he writes down the stupid things the others say?
What if Virgil also has a notebook, but instead of how Logan uses it, he writes down the anxieties he has and several solutions to them -- and the alternates to how situations may end.
It's a very full book, but never quite finished, as there are always more anxious thoughts to write down. The book isn't large though; it's imaginary so, most of the time, it sits as a little pocket book so Virgil can bring it with him everywhere he goes. Just in case.
Oh I believed that you could change your ways somehow
But you just keep crashing down
“So are you done?” Your quiet voice is filled with spite -
Ironic, right? Why don’t you get out of my sight
“Oh, you’re too kind”
The day goes up in flames
You know, I really tried
Knock on the door - access denied
Ohhh boy, another PAFL song - Thankfully I don't have any concrete plans for how this applies to my Reaper au yet so no spoilers. This one took some thinking but I can see it working as pre-aa Prinxiety angst! The colored text speaks for itself =)
❝ if they do it again, you tell me. ❞ with Logan/Patton or Deceit/Virgil?
Summary: Virgil struggles with his anxiety, and Deceit steps in to assist him through it.
Pairing: Platonic/Familial Anxceit
Warnings: Panic attack, thoughts of uselessness, crying, Pre-Accepting Anxiety. (I think that’s it, but let me know if I missed anything.)
Word count: 1058 words.
A/n: I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this one, to be honest. But it was kind of a fun write.
Enjoy!
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The slamming of a bedroom door was the first thing that registered in the Mindscape. It was resounding and obviously emotionally charged.
Deceit looked up from the book he was reading, toward the staircase where the sound had come from. He knew that Remus was off in the Imagination, doing whatever it was that he did in there, and he, himself, was reading. Which left only Anxiety to be the cause of the ruckus.
It wasn’t very often that he slammed his door, however. It only happened when he had been told something that hurt him and used slamming the door as a means of emotional release without doing something that could hurt himself or hurt others.
What piqued his interest further was that there was nothing to follow it. No loud music, no shouting, no nothing.
Deceit slid the bookmark into place before shutting the book and setting it onto the coffee table in front of him.
It took no time before he was heading up the stairs and down the hall to where their bedrooms were. He could already see the darkening of the hallway just outside of Virgil’s room, proving that something had happened and his anxiety had spiked. It was something that happened less often than one would expect, but when it did, it was nothing to be sniffed at. As much as they all barked at each other, it also meant looking out for one another when they needed it the most.
When Deceit had come up to the last door on the left, he reached up and gave a single knock.
“Virgil?” He called, showing that he was there without just bursting into the room.
If Virgil was really as anxious as the aura around his door was suggesting, then there was no reason to make it worse by intruding in his personal space and making his room feel unsafe. Usually, this wouldn’t be something Deceit considered and would just walk in anyway but knowing the anxious Side as well as he did, when he was in these moods, the last thing Virgil needed was to feel unsafe in his own bedroom.
He could already feel it– the slight pull of anxiety in his gut. The nausea that came with panic attacks. Very slightly, and certainly not enough to affect him, but enough to realize that this was not the time to dilly dally.
There were voices, echoing from inside. Distorted and low, a humming thrum that resonated. These voices were talking over one another, but there was one distinct voice that Deceit would know anywhere. Knowing that Virgil probably couldn’t hear him over the noise, he twisted the knob and creaked open the door.
Instantly he was hit with a wave of words. Dark, hurtful and spiteful. He took a breath and steadied himself, knowing that to get to Virgil he needed to remain calm and rational.
No wonder they don’t want you, a voice that manifested from no where giggled, you’re the most useless out of them all.
Poor little Anxiety, all alone.
They mean every word they say, another voice chimed, thrumming through Deceit’s chest like a hum, an odd feeling he would admit, they’re not like Deception. Why lie when the truth hurts more?
“No,” he heard Anxiety mumble from his spot curled up on the bed. His hands were up, protecting his head but his fingers were digging into his hair, his knuckles pure white by the force he was holding.
No? Please. If they wanted you, they would have told you.
You’re better off like this.
“Virgil.” Deceit’s voice was almost lost against everything else, but the slight flinch he got from Virgil proved that he had been heard, maybe not completely registered.
Would you look at that, Deceit’s here now. Bet he’s going to try and make you feel even worse.
He’s going to kick you while you’re down. Might as well just shut yourself down and prepare for the worst.
Well, he could say that that wasn’t true. It seemed a lot of Virgil’s anxious thoughts were based in untruths, something that Deceit happened to specialize in. Which meant he did know how to help, even if it never seemed like it most of the time.
Deceit came closer to the bed, ignoring the whispering words even as they grew louder the closer he got to Anxiety. “Virgil,” he said again, stern and prominent and authoritative. “I’m going to touch you.”
And after he had given the warning, he did.
Anxiety jolted at first, a loud gasp and he reared away from the deceptive Side, watery eyes blowing wide and meeting Deceit’s eyes. They were wide and Virgil was panting, looking around wildly as if he didn’t know where he was. Deceit’s hand moved for a moment, before laying gently on Virgil’s knee.
No words were shared, but as soon as Virgil had been snapped out of his daze, the voices vanished instantly. The room returned back to its normal dark state and the lights no longer flickered every other second.
Deceit didn’t need to ask what was wrong when tears began to overflow Virgil’s eyes again, smearing his eye-shadow. He instead opened his arms and allowed Anxiety to find comfort and solace in his embrace. Deceit held him tightly enough to show that he was there and he was real, even as the other Side sobbed into his shoulder.
These were the moments that were only kept between the two of them.
He let his hand stroke through the dyed hair gently. Deceit didn’t need to ask what had caused this, he knew where Virgil had just come from.
Instead, he quietly rested his chin on the top of Virgil’s head. Rocking them so very slowly.
“If they do it again,” he murmured softly into Virgil’s hair, earning a sniffle from said Side. “You tell me.”
Virgil didn’t answer verbally and he instead nodded his head after a heartbeat. He then clung closer to Deceit, his hands digging into the back of his outfit and twisting into it.
Even though Virgil put up a tough front and bared his teeth most of the time, he took a lot of things to heart.
Warnings: Choking, violence, Unsympathetic Roman, Roman says mean shit to Virgil
Note: This is pre-AA, and the first part in a two-parter
It was a quiet day, all things considered. Virgil hadn’t heard from anyone save for the nod he shared when seeing one of the other sides. Everyone was in their rooms taking care of their own things, so that left Virgil free to watch tv in the commons.
He lied sprawled across the couch, focused intently on his horror documentary. It was nice, to relax from time to time. He didn’t get time like this often. He smiled to himself as he continued to watch.
It was then that he felt someone watching him. He quickly sat up, grabbing the remote and pausing his show. He looked around for a moment before getting up.
“I know you’re there, what do you want?”
He only took a few steps when Roman came out from the hallway, anger in his eyes as he slammed Virgil against the wall. An arm was shoved against his throat, pressing hard.
“Woah Princey, what the hell?” He spat out, his voice strained from trying to speak against the other’s arm.
Roman narrowed his eyes, glaring at the other.
“You’re nothing but a pest, Anxiety,” Roman seethed out. He pressed his arm even harder against Virgil’s throat, cutting off the air flow.
Virgil grasped at Roman’s arm, trying like hell to make him let go of him. He tried gasping for air, tried to speak, but he couldn’t breathe. His lungs were burning, and he grew more frantic to get out of Roman’s grasp every passing moment.
“R-Roman,” he managed to get out, voice hoarse. “Stop-”
“You shouldn’t even be here, you’re tainting Thomas,” His voice was scarily low, and it made Virgil’s blood run cold.
He tried to speak, to fight back, but he couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t die, but that didn’t stop him from fearing that Roman was actually going to kill him. Fuck, it hurt. His lungs were on fire by now, he couldn’t breathe, it hurt to even try and breathe. He felt tears prickle around his eyes involuntarily, his fight slowly slipping away.
Right before Virgil could completely pass out, Roman dropped his arm, and the other side could feel Roman’s eyes on him as he crumbled to the ground, gasping for air. The air burned his lungs more on the way in, but it was better than being unable to breathe.
Virgil curled in on himself as he heard footsteps receding, hiding his face in his knees as he silently cried on the floor. He knew Roman hated him, but what the fuck? He didn’t think he’d actually fucking attack him like that.
After one more gulping breath, Virgil carefully sunk down, locking himself in his room. No way in hell was he going to stay out there while he was still vulnerable for another attack like that.
what were the nicest dreams you had about each other?
Dear Anonymous,
When I was a child, a few months after moving in Germany, I dreamt that Wright found my new house and visited me secretly. He came in through the window in my bedroom and we played together.
Aww, how sweet!
I had at least a nice dream about you too.
I think I was about 20. I had just read a few articles about the “demon prosecutor” with a picture of you.
In my dream, I finally met you again, and you told me you weren’t really “evil” like everyone else claimed. I trusted you.
We were so happy to see each other again. So we, well… We hugged, and we kissed, and…
…And?
N-nothing! Nothing I can tell here, at least…
I was very confused when I woke up, though! Then I decided it was just a weird dream and I almost forgot about that, haha…
