While everyone else was growing up
getting degrees and falling in love
Buying houses and mortgages
sex, family and having kids
I was drowning myself in the dark corner of some bar
waiting for some prey I could talk my way into
pretend I love her for just one night
because a little bit of fake takes my mind off the real
As I watched my friends start lives
I hung out in dark and dingy dives
Playing dice games with only alcoholics
thinking that maybe I could turn suffering into art
I just could never figure out where to start
And I was walking her to my apartment
a pretend smile she just couldn't guess was make-believe
and she's not that pretty, but I'm not petty
and I just want something alive with me in bed
The sex is just the icebreaker
This isn't about love, or so I tell myself
Nah, love doesn't exist and if it does
it's a cruel bastard who I want nothing to do with
I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts
Come now, dear, let me give you the tour
And this is my bedroom
said between sloppy whiskey kisses
The world around me is moving on
and I'm left dying in a memory
stay the night, please don't leave