#prideprompts2020

[gaylotusthatexists]

ten minutes

pairing: intruloceit

summary: Logan’s boyfriends, Janus and Remus, drag him out to a pool. This is not something that Logan wants.

trigger warnings: sympathetic janus and remus, casual discussion of murder (jokingly), please let me know if i need to add anything

word count: 920

a/n: day thirteen!!! today’s prompt was ‘fun in the sun’ and once again i am projecting onto logan haha, i hope y’all enjoy this ^^

ao3

Logan sat at the side of the pool, reading a book as usual. His boyfriends had dragged him out to the local pool, since it was summer and he apparently needed to get out more, get some sun. Logan didn't really understand the appeal of swimming or sitting the sun - all it did was get him wet or sunburnt respectively, neither of which he particularly cared for. But, his boyfriends had both thought this would be good for him, and of course he'd never refuse an offer to hang out with the two of them, even if he wasn't exactly talking to them as they were both in the pool and he was sat safely on the side. In all honestly, Logan was quite happy to be alone with his book - being outside was nice in a way, peaceful almost.

That was, until Janus climbed out the pool and came to sit besides him, his hair stuck to his forehead and skin almost sparking in the sunlight. Logan tried his best to remain calm upon seeing his boyfriend shirtless - it wasn't as if this was the first time he'd seen him shirtless, but he'd never seen him get out of a pool before. Logan shuffled a little away from Janus, further under the shade, and cleared his throat.

"If you touch me whilst you're wet, I will not hesitate to kill you," he said, slowly placing his book down.

Janus smirked. "You don't have the guts to kill me."

"Says who?"

"Logan, you won't even kill a spider."

"Spiders are very valuable to our ecosystem, Janus," Logan argued, "and they don't do anything to harm us. Do you want the house to be filled with flies?"

Janus just continued to smile, fondly. "You should come in the pool," he said, changing the conversation.

Logan grimaced. "No thank you."

"Why not?"

"Firstly, I'm not a massive fan of getting wet," he began. "Secondly, public pools are incredibly unhygienic. Thirdly, I know for a fact that Remus will immediately splash me in the face and I do not care for that at all. Fourthly-"

"Okay, okay." Janus sighed. "Just for fifteen minutes. It seems a waste if you come here and don't even go for a little swim."

"I'm quite happy sat reading in the shade," Logan said. "Honestly, it's worth me coming here just to see you two having fun."

"Yeah, but we want you to have fun as well."

Logan sighed. "You're not going to drop this, are you?"

"Nope."

He stared at Janus for a moment longer, in consideration.

"You can keep your shirt on, if you want," Janus said. "I promise not to splash you. I'm sure Remus can control himself enough for me to explain to him that you don't want to be splashed."

Logan drummed his fingers on his legs. "Alright. I'll give you ten minutes."

"Fifteen?"

"Ten," he reiterated.

"Alright, fine. Ten."

Janus grinned. The two stood up and made their way to the side of the pool, Janus getting straight in but Logan starting by just sitting on the edge, his feet only just in the cold, cold water. He stared down, noticing a few pieces of grass and dead bugs floating around - gross. He also glanced around at the amount of kids swimming around, not exactly the cleanest of people either. But he'd already made his decision, and he didn't want to disappoint either of his boyfriends.

"C'mon, Logan!" Janus called, from a few metres into the pool. "Just jump in!"

Logan groaned. This was not what he'd been wanting to do with his weekend. Taking in a deep breath, he slowly lowered himself into the pool, cringing again at the cold water. He feet touched the ground, the water going up to his waist - Logan was taller than both of his boyfriends, with the water at Janus neck and Remus' armpits, although he imagined both of them were sunk a little further into the water whilst he was stood up straight. He slowly waded his way towards them, arms up in the air and refusing to touch the water. He could do this. Just ten minutes, then he could dry off his legs and get back to reading.

He felt someone collide against him and he stumbled down into the water with a splash, head going underneath the water for a terrifying second. He reemerged from the water, gasping for air, and noticed Remus latched onto his side, a manic grin across his face. "Logan!"

Logan pushed himself away from Remus, trying to recompose himself. The water was now up to his shoulders, as he now crouched rather than stood straight, and his hair was soaking wet. Everything was blurry - he'd left his glasses at the side, and could now barely make out Remus' face just centimetres in front of his. Well, this was just perfect.

"Remus, I'm going to murder you," Logan said, monotonously.

"You'll have to catch me first!" Remus retorted, grinning widely and swimming away.

Logan swam to catch up with him, tackling him into the water as well, a taste of his own medicine. Remus didn't seem angry or annoyed - he was giggling, playing, splashing Logan. And Logan was splashing back. Janus joined the fight, all three soon exploding into a fit of giggles, and eventually hugs and kisses in the water, playing games and racing and perhaps having a little more fun than Logan had expected.

And maybe Logan stayed in a little longer than ten minutes.

[hollenka99]

Pride 2020 Prompts

It’s almost June and I got the sudden urge to create a prompt list. So feel free to use them as inspiration. I’ll be using #prideprompts2020 as a tag.

1. First meeting 2. Kiss 3. Caught looking their way 4. Flag 5. Letters 6. Surprise 7. Confusion 8. Date night 9. "I can't imagine my life without you." 10. Treating themselves 11. Question 12. Chilling on the sofa 13. Fun in the sun 14. Boundaries 15. Growing old together 16. "Who would have thought?" 17. Supportive 18. Night sky 19. Impressing one another 20. Sticks and stones 21. Sunset 22. Self discovery 23. Won't let go 24. Parade 25. Mistake 26. Ring 27. Smile 28. Anniversary 29. The one that got away 30. The future

[esperinkdraws]

Happy Pride I’m not too satisfied with this

stuffs: an almost-panic-attack, self-doubt

pride prompt: caught looking their way

-

It was the beginning of pride month and Virgil was just buzzing with anxious energy.

He chewed on a fingernail as he stared towards a few tables set up in the field.

Since it was the beginning of pride month, the Pride club at the school was doing a little lunch event. There were people around, eating lunch and laughing with each other.

He was particularly looking at two specific people: Patton Heart and Roman Prince.

Well, looking at their accessories.

Roman was wearing a full-on rainbow sash as he sat and recounted some dramatic story to Patton, who was smiling and watching as he gestured.

Patton was… also wearing pride accessories, and holding a flag. She was wearing a bracelet with the colors of the nonbinary flag, and a new pronoun pin.

Patton had always been rather open about her gender identity, ever since she had come out to several people at the beginning of the semester, and Roman had always defended her whenever someone said anything about it. Virgil had assumed that they were partners, in the romantic sense.

But Virgil recognized that flag. Of course he recognized that flag, it was--

His musing was cut short when he realized that Roman and Patton were looking back at him. Virgil flushed red and he quickly looked away, heart pounding. He didn’t hear the soft footsteps nearing.

“Hi Virgil!”

Virgil looked back up. Patton was standing there, smiling at him. Virgil cleared his throat. “Um, hey,” he said.

Patton beamed when he responded. “Do you want to sit with me and Roman?”

“Isn’t that like… a club event thing?”

Patton shrugged. “Well, yeah, but anyone can come and get lunch. That’s why there’s an information booth.” She pointed at the info booth that Virgil hadn’t even realized was there. “It’s also to get new club members.”

“Uh… I guess I can sit with you, then.”

Patton smiled again, gesturing for him to follow her with her flag, and walked back to the table she and Roman occupied. Virgil trailed after her.

When they got there, Roman scrutinized him. Virgil shifted uncomfortably.

“So,” he said (they said? Virgil just noticed a small, genderfluid flag pin.), “are we so cute that you had to stare at us for half the lunch hour?”

“Um, no,” Virgil said before he could properly think of an answer, “I mean-- uh--” Just a few more seconds of stammering and he’d be on his way to a spiral.

“Virgil,” Patton said, and he returned his attention to her. “Can I touch you?” He nodded, and she tapped a familiar breathing pattern onto his hand. 

When he calmed down, Roman looked apologetic, and Patton looked just the slightest concerned. “I’m sorry,” Virgil mumbled.  

“It’s okay,” Patton assured him. “I am curious myself, though,” she continued, “Why were you looking over here?”

“I just-- how can you…?” Virgil took a deep breath. “How can you be so… open, about who you are?” Patton and Roman tilted their heads, and Virgil looked down, staring momentarily at Patton’s aro pride flag, before looking back up at them, for answers.

“It can be scary at first,” Patton said softly. She glanced at Roman, who nodded.

“Indeed,” Roman agreed. “But once you accept yourself, you find that other people’s opinions matter far less.”

“Of course..,” Patton mused, face thoughtful, “it’s easier when you have friends.” Then she beamed. “We can be friends!”

Virgil smiled a little, but he didn’t seem satisfied with their answers. “But how do you…” Virgil looked down at Patton’s aro flag once again, “how do you accept who you love… or don’t love?”

Patton tilted her head again, but then she looked down at her flag. Then she looked back up at Virgil. She held it out for him to take. “Want it?” she asked.

“It’s yours,” Virgil said. “I don’t… want to like, steal it from you.”

Patton smiled. “I have an extra one in my backpack. This is yours, if you want it.”

Virgil hesitated. Patton was being sincere and…

He opened his hand, and Patton placed the flag in it.

Well, maybe it was a start.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Pride Prompts 2020 Day 6- Surprise

Some Klave with a little bit of spice!

~~

Klaus' face looked shallow under the shitty lighting of the rundown motel. A cigarette hung loosely from his fingers as he pulled and poked at his cheeks and forehead. There were a few spots and scars here and there from the stress that came from war.

In an oddly sick fashion, he fit in quite well in the army. He got meals, bad, greasy ones but meals nonetheless, a bed, clothes and, most importantly, people who cared about him. Whether it was reluctantly or due to actual compassion he wasn't sure.

He was used to fighting because of the wonderful atrocity that was his childhood. The dead people had been hard to adjust to, there were fellow soldiers as well as angry Vietnamese people. However, this particular war was infamous for the excessive drug use that the soldiers partook in.

Most people smoked, cigarettes and weed. Others went further and took pills, coke, LSD or even heroin. One of his comrades who lived up to the troubled youth stereotype, was Chris,a college grad who did anything to block out the pain.

Some other comrades were Pope, a devout Catholic who had accepted the draft when it came for him, CJ, a loyal lovestruck man whose only lifeline was the dream of marrying his girl at home, Richard, an avid Tolkienist, and Miller, a real life cowboy who had taken the draft to prove something to his dad. 

These guys had been slow to trust him, with his modern ideals and openness with his expression. Klaus had found it hard to trust them too, having spent so long not being enough for people and having to give something to get basic respect. Yet, as he began to take his time there lore seriously, the guys took him into their makeshift family and that was that. 

Dave was different though. He'd taken an immediate liking to Klaus, guiding him through the battles and caring for him when times got tough. 

He was patient, not leaving when Klaus' bad self-esteem and trust issues waved red flags whenever someone got close to him. There were so many amazing qualities about him that dazzled him. From his open heart to loyalty, he was so wildly different from anyone he'd ever associated himself with before.

Their first kiss had been magical. To say the least. He couldn't truly recall what they were talking about prior, something deep and intimate that had powered Dave to reach out and kiss him. His lips had been moist from the liquor, the dull burn that came with it spread to Klaus' mouth as they stood frozen in time. He could still feel the light sheen of sweat on Dave's face and hand from the night's dancing.

They kissed for the rest of that night, and their leave. Dave's deep rooted homophobia scaring him from going further than supple lips and smooth caresses in low lots rooms and clubs.

But, last night had changed that. They'd spent just over a month with barely any touches, pretending, putting on a mask of heterosexuality. So with the free willed nature of leave, Dave had grabbed Klaus and made hot, sweet love to him.

The air had been thick with humidity and pleasure. Dave had rocked carefully in and out, fresh anxiety preventing him from going too fast or hard. Instead he'd pulled out the groans and gasps from his lover slowly, taking Klaus apart bit by bit as he licked, sucked and bit every inch of his skin. 

That was what he'd been admiring in the mirror. The hickies and bitemarks that stood out against the pale skin that had only just gained a slight tan. 

He smiled, because these marks showed that he belonged to someone, and meant something to someone. That he wasn't just a body or a junkie. He was a person, a person who was loved.

Smooch. Dave made his boyfriend jump as he snaked his arms around his brittle middle, kissing the marks that he was so proud of.

"You surprised me there,sweetheart," Klaus said, leaning his head to the side to let Dave get more leverage to kiss his way across his shoulders and wrapped a hand in his hair.

"Didn't know you were so deep in thought," He chuckled, letting one hand move towards his privates as he nestled them closer. "Wanna go for another round this morning,"

They shared a look, "I mean yeah, but you're going to tire me out before the day's even started," He said and turned around, pushing the two back onto the bed.

"You just drive me crazy, so crazy that if I don't get to touch you when I can, I might explode if I don't make the most of our situation," He'd sat upright now and pulled Klaus onto his lap as he carried on kissing and adoring his neck.

"You continue to surprise me," He replied, shuffling slightly and tilting Dave's face up to kiss his eyes, then his nose and finally his mouth. "But that's enough talking for now, Mr Katz, why don't you surprise me even more with your love making skills?"

They grinned at each other maniacally before Dave said, "Will do Mr Hargreeves, will do," and flipped them over to fully use their time together

[gaylotusthatexists]

missing

pairing: dukexiety

summary: Remus hasn’t heard from Virgil in a while and is beginning to worry.

trigger warnings: sympathetic remus, disturbing imagery, intrusive thoughts

word count: 696

a/n: day twenty three :0 today’s prompt was ‘won’t let go’ and. idk how i feel about this one b u t i hope y’all enjoy this ^^

ao3

Remus hadn't seen Virgil in a few weeks, and he was seriously beginning to worry. It wasn't unusual for Virgil to go completely off the grid, every now and then he'd need to take breaks from everything for his mental health, but usually he'd at least tell Remus what was going on, at least tell him that he would be unavailable for while. But he hadn't spoken to Remus since they last saw each other, never answering his phone and not even a single text.

Remus tried his best to stay calm about everything, tried his best to keep the nasty thoughts out. The thoughts of Virgil lying dead on the street, blood pouring out onto the pavement, no witnesses and no one finding the body. He knew that Virgil probably wasn't dead - he was the most cautious person that Remus knew, and if something had happened Remus imagined he would have heard about it. It was likely that Virgil was just staying at home, maybe he needed some time for himself.

Taking in a deep breath, Remus held up his phone to his ear again, staring at his wall as he waited for Virgil to pick up. An image flashed through his mind, of Virgil tied up and crying, unable to reach his phone, slowly wasting away. He blinked, trying to get that thought away. Virgil was fine. Eventually, Virgil would pick up and Remus would know that he was fine. Remus wasn't going to let go of this.

No answer. Remus threw his phone across the room, going to hug his knees and slowly rock back and forth, in an attempt to calm himself down. Remus remembered his last conversation with Virgil - he'd seemed pretty out of it, more anxious than usual, not really responding to anything that Remus had said. Had something happened that Virgil didn't tell him about? What- What if Virgil never came back?

No. No, he would, he had to.

Remus picked up his phone again, checking Virgil's social media for any sign of life. He hadn't posted anything anywhere since weeks before their last meeting. That wasn't really unusual either - again, going off the grid was pretty normal for him - but Remus wished he could find something, even just a little message so he knew that Virgil safe.

Another week passed, but still nothing. Remus had contacted all his friends and acquaintances to see if he'd heard anything from Virgil, but still nothing. He'd tried to contact Virgil's family to see what was wrong, but still nothing. He'd made posts, called Virgil every day, even considered contacting the police - the only reason he hadn't was because it wasn't really his place to do so, if he was well and truly missing his family would put something forward, surely.

Another week passed, and Remus finally received news. A single post on Virgil's tumblr, just a dot, a tiny bit of proof that he was still alive. Remus continued to call and message, beginning to think that maybe Virgil was avoiding him - no, he wasn't avoiding Remus, he wouldn't do that. Probably.

And finally, one day Virgil picked up.

"Virgil!" Remus exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief. "Virgil, are you okay?"

Silence, for a long time, until Virgil quietly said, "Why do you keep calling me?"

Remus frowned. "I- I was worried," he said. "You completely disappeared."

"I thought... I thought you might have given up by now," Virgil said. "Everyone else has."

"Virgil, I'd never give up on you," Remus promised. "I wouldn't just let you go like that."

A long silence again. Remus could hear Virgil tapping his finger on the phone. "I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

"It's okay," Remus said. "I just... want to know if you're okay."

"I'm not," Virgil admitted.

"Do you... want to talk about it?"

Virgil hesitated. "No."

"Oh." That was fine - Virgil didn't exactly owe Remus an explanation.

"Can I see you?"

"Sure." Remus smiled. "You want me to come round?"

"Can... Can I come to yours?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah." Remus heard ruffling on the other side of the phone. "I'll be there soon." He hung up.

[gaylotusthatexists]

saviour

pairing: analogical

summary: Logan comes to Virgil’s rescue.

trigger warnings: bullying, blackmail, violence, knife mention, blood mention, implied homophobia, please let me know if i’ve missed anything

word count: 1061

a/n: day nineteen! today’s prompt was ‘impressing one another’ and. this is only loosely based on that ajsjsh i mean virgil is pretty impressed with logan so there’s that ig. yeah idk how to feel about this one but i hope y’all enjoy?

ao3

Virgil felt someone grab his shoulder and his back hit the wall, cringing upon impact. For a few moments, his eyes remained closed as he tried to steady his breathing, until he opened one and saw that same guy, again. He really should have been expecting this by now - he’d completely forgot that they had their last lessons in the classrooms next to one another, and hadn’t be able to avoid it that day. Brilliant.

“What do you want?” Virgil spat, mostly just fed up with this whole ordeal.

“You said you’d have my essay done for yesterday,” the guy said, gripping tighter on Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil’s eyes darted around the hallway - no one else in sight, no one to save him.

Virgil looked back at him, looking him dead in the eye. “I have my own essay to write as well. I can’t-“

He felt something sharp against his stomach and his eyes widened. He glanced down for half a second, then back up, body stiffening. Why the fuck did this guy have a knife?

“I’ll ask you again,” he said calmly, “where is it?”

“I don’t have it.”

The knife was pulled away, and for a moment Virgil was able to breath, until he received a fist to the face and he was one the floor, staring at the tiles and breathed in and out. There weren’t even any cameras in this hallway, were there? No witnesses, no chance of someone coming to help.

The guy crouched down, grabbing Virgil’s hair and forcing him to look in his eyes. “Need I remind you that I know everything? One more slip up, and everyone will know all about how you cheated in last years maths-“ Virgil hadn’t cheated himself - he had stolen the mark-scheme to give to this guy, hadn’t even looked at it himself, but if this guy said anything the teachers would be less inclined to believe Virgil. “-and everything you’ve been doing for me-“ That wasn’t really a problem for Virgil - it was him who was cheating, not Virgil, but again, the teachers wouldn’t know the difference. “-and about your crush on-“

“Shut it,” Virgil growled. If... If anyone found out about that, Virgil would be dead. “I’ll... I’ll have it for tomorrow.”

The guy gave him a sickening grin, then punched him one more time in the stomach for good measure. Virgil fell back to the floor, curling in on himself.

“Hey!” someone shouted from down the corridor. Virgil glanced up and, for a moment, relief settled on his face - Logan was here, Logan, here to save him. But then that relief immediately faded when he realised that now Logan knew, and- and this guy could tell him everything, Virgil would be dead by the end of this.

“Aww,” the guy said, mockingly, “your boyfriend’s come to save you.” Virgil glared at him, but said nothing.

“Leave him alone,” Logan said, stepping closer to the guy.

The guy stood up, leaving Virgil on the floor, and folded his arms. “Make me.”

Virgil heard a crack, then a crash, and the next moment the guy was on the floor, holding his cheek. Virgil’s eyes widened. Had- Had Logan just punched him? Virgil watched Logan move over and lean down besides him, grabbing his shoulder. “I’ll say this one more time: leave Virgil alone. I’m sure you parents won’t be too pleased with their darling son coming home with a broken arm, would they?”

“What the fuck?” he whispered. “You- You can’t threaten me like that.”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Can’t I? And I suppose when the teachers ask what happened and I tell them you were hurting poor Virgil here, they won’t believe me, a straight-A student with a clean record, but they’ll believe you, barely passing with about three months worth of detentions?”

The guy just stared at him, shivering under his grasp.

Logan smiled. “Didn’t think so. So, are you going to leave Virgil alone from now on?”

“I could tell everyone,” he said. “I know you and Virgil are gay. Everyone would hate you.”

“Would they, now?” Logan laughed. “Do you honestly think people would give a shit?”

“I...”

“Just leave,” Logan said, letting go of him. “If you so much as breathe in Virgil’s direction again, you’ll get a lot more than a bruised cheek.”

The guy scrambled away, and Virgil was left to stare at Logan, in complete awe. He had no idea Logan had that in him, and - God, Virgil had never been more attracted to Logan. He couldn’t say that to Logan, though. Hopefully- Hopefully Logan just thought the guy was trying to scare him, hopefully Logan didn’t believe what he’d said.

Logan turned to Virgil, moving up to inspect his cheek. “Are you okay?”

Virgil nodded, even though he really wasn’t okay. “It’s okay,” he said. “I’m- I’m used to it, really.”

Logan frowned at that, and looked like he wanted to say more, but instead just helped Virgil stand up and began to walk out the school with him. “Here,” Logan said, handing Virgil a wipe. “You shouldn’t get more than a bruise, but you should probably clean up a bit of the blood.” Virgil immediately did so. He couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed.

“Thanks,” he mumbled. “That was, uh... That was great. I’ve- I’ve never seen anyone else stand up to him before.”

Logan smiled. “It’s no problem, Virgil. I just can’t stand seeing innocent people getting hurt.” They walked in silence for a moment, Virgil shoving his hands into his pockets, until Logan finally said, “So. You’re gay as well?”

Virgil’s shoulders stiffened. He wasn’t entirely sure what to say to that. Because, yes, he was, but nobody knew that and he kind of wanted to keep it that way. But, at the same time, Logan had said as well, meaning... he probably was gay too. Which was comforting, in a way. “Yeah,” Virgil decided to say, lowering his voice to a whisper. “But, uh, no one else really knows that, and if my parents found out they’d probably kill me, so-“

“I get it,” Logan said. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“Thanks, again,” Virgil said, breathing out.

“You really don’t need to thank me, Virgil,” Logan said. “If you’re ever in trouble, you can come to me, yeah?”

Virgil smiled. “Yeah. Thanks.”

[gaylotusthatexists]

questioning

pairing: moceit (could be romantic or platonic)

summary: Patton is questioning their gender and goes to Janus for help.

trigger warnings: sympathetic janus, please let me know if i need to add anything

word count: 520

a/n: day eleven of pride month! today’s prompt was ‘question’. this was a lot of fun for me to write tbh, enby!patton is my favourite ok.

ao3

"Hey, Jan?" Patton asked, peaking his head around his flatmates door. Peaking... her head around Janus' door? Patton wasn't entirely sure, and it was annoying... him to no end.

"Yeah, Pat?" Janus said, pushing away from his desk and twisting his chair around to face him.

Patton slowly stepped into the room and sat down on Janus bed, taking in a deep breath. "I have a question."

Janus raised an eyebrow. "And that is...?"

"You..." Patton fiddled with his fingers. "You used to be a girl, right? And now you're not?"

Patton tried his best not to focus on the discomfort that flashes across Janus' face, and how his shoulders seemed to stiffen up. "Yes, I am transgender, if that's what you mean."

"Yeah." Patton glanced around the room, trying to avoid Janus' eyes. "How did you know?"

Janus was silent for a moment. "I don't know. I never really felt like a girl. One day I realised how much being seen as a girl made me uncomfortable. It took years to figure everything out, though."

Patton nodded, beginning to stand up. "Okay. Okay, yeah." He- She- They? They had a lot to think about.

"Out of curiosity, why are you asking me this?" Janus asked.

Patton froze for a second, before slowly sitting back down. "I... I don't think I'm a guy," she said, still refusing to look Janus in the eye.

"Oh," Janus hummed. "Would you prefer she/her pronouns? If he/him doesn't quite fit?"

Patton tapped her leg. "I don't know. Maybe? I... don't really feel like a girl either, though. Like, when I think of gender it's just... like, what is even the point, you know? I don't... There doesn't seem to be a difference. And I really hate he/him, but she/her isn't... much better." It felt nice, to get everything that had been bugging her out, but... thinking about everything again just made him even more confused.

Janus scooted closer on his chair. "Have you considered that you may be nonbinary?"

Patton blinked. "What's that?"

"It's an umbrella term for those existing outside the gender binary," Janus explained. "People who don't strictly identify as male or female."

Patton frowned. "You can... do that?"

"You can do anything you want, Patton." Janus smiled. "There are more specific labels, of course, but generally speaking nonbinary also works as a label itself."

A small smile crept onto Patton's face. "That... That sounds nice. So... what pronouns am I meant to use, then? Because neither he nor she is... good."

"A lot of nonbinary people use they/them, but, of course, it's entirely up to you," Janus said. "You can use gendered pronouns if you prefer, or neopronouns if you find some that fit."

Huh. That was... "They/them sounds nice," they said. "Could you... use those for me, now?"

Janus nodded. "Of course. Let me know if that changes, yeah?"

"Yeah." Patton grinned. "Thank you, Janus."

"It's all good, Pat."

They'd still have to think about this. They imagined that they'd have to think about it a lot. But, this was at least a start.

[gaylotusthatexists]

sleepless night

pairing: parental anxceit

summary: Virgil can’t sleep, filled with confusion over what his crush on a boy means. His stepdad, Janus, is here to help.

trigger warnings: questioning sexuality, internalised homophobia? (kinda?). let me know if i need to add anything

word count: 1111

a/n: day seven of pride prompts! today’s prompt is ‘confusion’. this was very fun for me to write haha, hope y’all enjoy~

ao3

Virgil laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. It didn't make sense. None of this made any sense. He was trying, trying so hard to understand what was going on in his brain, but...

Ugh. He glanced over at his clock - well past midnight. He really should have been sleeping. But no, he was just lying in his bed, trying to make sense of the world, of himself, launching himself deeper and deeper into a crisis, and he couldn't for the life of him think of a way out of this. He just wanted to stop thinking, give himself chance to breathe.

He tossed and turned in his bed, trying to get his mind to shut up and will himself to sleep, but to no avail. Eventually, he sat up and turned on his light, figuring if he wasn't going to sleep he might as well do something useful. He moved over to his desk and began to draw - his therapist had recommended that to him, just doodling without thinking about it too much, without worrying whether the drawing was 'good'. It was suppose to relieve stress, or calm him down. However, glancing down at the drawing, he didn't grow any calmer.

It was that guy again. From his maths class, the guy who sat near him - Virgil didn't know his name. He always found himself staring at this guy, and- and recently the guy had been showing up more, in his mind and in his dreams. Virgil wanted to talk to him, to hold him, to-

No. No, he didn't want that. He didn't want to kiss the guy. He couldn't - they were both boys, that wasn't how things worked. He was just- just making things up, probably. Eventually there'd be a girl who made him feel the same things, right? Yeah, there must be. Surely.

He teared the drawing up and threw it in his bin, moving back towards his bed again. This wasn't working. Maybe- Maybe he just needed to sleep. Yeah, sleep sounded good. He turned his light off again and laid back down, closing his eyes and...

Ugh. This still wasn’t working. He turned his light back on.

There was a gentle knock on the door. Alarmed, Virgil pulled his quilt over himself and pretended to sleep again, as someone opened the door and walked in, sitting down on his bed.

"Virgil, my darling, I know you're awake," a voice said, as a hand began to slowly stroke his shoulder, comfortingly.

Sighing, Virgil sat up. It was his stepdad - Janus. He still wasn't sure what his mother saw in this guy, always out late and never really doing much for the family. But there wasn't really anywhere to escape to.

"Are you alright, Virgil?" Janus asked, moving closer.

Virgil did nothing. He stared down at his sheets.

"Is there something bothering you?" Janus hummed. "Perhaps we should schedule an appointment with Dr Picani sooner-"

"No," Virgil said. "You don't have to do that. I'm fine."

Janus raised an eyebrow. "Then why are you up at two in the morning?"

Was it really already two in the morning? Virgil fiddled with his fingers. "Couldn't sleep," he said, quietly.

"Want to talk about it?"

Virgil hesitated. In truth, yes, he did, he very much wanted to talk about it. He wanted to know what was wrong with him, and maybe asking an adult would help him understand. But at the same time, he could harm his already iffy relationship with his stepdad. He didn't exactly... trust Janus, not just yet. And what if this was really bad? What if Janus hated him for it?

"You can talk to me, y'know," Janus said. "I don't bite."

Virgil breathed in. His relationship with Janus already sucked, so... he supposed he had nothing to lose. "I'm... I was thinking. A little too much, I think. I don't know. It's..."

After a few moments of silence, Janus said, "Go on."

"I want to kiss a guy," Virgil murmured. "Is... Is that weird?"

There was a long silence between them. Virgil had fucked up, he was sure of that. He kept his eyes locked on the sheets below him, until Janus reached over and tilted up his head with his fingers, forcing Virgil to look him in the eye.

"Virgil, honey, that isn't weird at all," he said, softly. "I want to kiss guys too, sometimes. I have, in the past, actually."

Virgil blinked. "But- But you and my mom-"

"I'm bisexual," Janus stated.

Virgil frowned. "What's... What's that?"

Janus glanced around the room, before withdrawing his hand and shuffling even closer to Virgil. "I'm attracted to both boys and girls, and everything in between," he said. "Like, I'll date either, I'm not picky."

Virgil's eyes drifted back down to his bed. "You can do that?"

Janus nodded. "Yeah. A lot of people are like that. Do you think you're-"

"I've never wanted to date a girl," Virgil said. "I... I kind of thought I just hadn't found the right one yet. But then this guy..."

Janus hummed. "Perhaps you're gay, then."

Virgil stiffened. "What?"

"You know, homosexual, attracted to-"

"I thought that was just an insult," Virgil said. "Everyone at school-"

"People who use 'gay' as an insult are idiots," Janus said, a hint of anger in his voice. "All 'gay' means is that you're attracted to people who have the same gender as yourself."

Virgil blinked. "Oh."

"Do you... think that fits you?" Janus wondered.

Virgil picked at his bedsheets. "Maybe? Kinda. I don't know. This is the first time I've ever been attracted to anybody, let alone..." He trailed off.

Janus smiled. "Well, there are plenty of other labels out there," he said. "I can help you search, if you like. Or, of course, if you don't want to label yourself you don't have to. Just... know that it's perfectly normal to experience attraction towards guys, yeah? And if one day you come home with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend, I'm not going to judge."

A small smile broke out on Virgil's face. That... That did make him feel a little better. "Could you help?" he requested. "I... If there's other stuff I could be I'd like to know my options."

Janus nodded. "Of course. But first you should sleep. I can help you out in the morning, okay?"

"Okay," Virgil breathed. He laid back down, snuggling up to his quilt and feeling a lot better than earlier in the night. Janus smiled at him a while longer, before standing up and turning off the light, closing the bedroom door gently. Virgil finally drifted off to sleep.