#privatejournal

[joblapostolique]

Private Journal of a Narcissistic Pervert — Chapter 0

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2012. It wasn’t a complete surprise, yet it struck me like a quiet earthquake, because my life unti

[emptyvoidofawife]

Tumblr used to be this space for me to vent and break down. I definitely need another one of those spaces after the last 3 years I've had. I hope I can reopen up here. I need to let it out.

[alexanderwrightbooks]

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[alexanderwrightbooks]

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[countonthat]

#20

Hi Tumblr,

I’m back. It’s been awhile.

Today, I officially declared my entomology minor. I am so excited about this. I’ve always had a phobia towards many different species of insects. Now, You might be thinking, “then why are you doing an entomology minor?” Well, that is a good question. I really want to get over this irrational fear of certain insects and by throwing myself into entomology studies I’m hoping some of that fear will disappear. I also really love bees.

Other big life changes: giving up meat, reducing the amount of dairy I consume, and joining the veg club on campus.

[countonthat]

#19

April 28, 2017

8:26 PM

Hi Tumblr,

It’s been awhile. 25 days to be exact. So much has been going on. I officially have my Etsy business up and running and the end of the school year is approaching fast. Zac and I are continuing our apartment search. It’s crazy to think that in just one month Zac and I will be in Oregon securing our new place of residence. Next on our list of things to do is contact a realtor. Family members keep asking us what kinds of things we need which is a little stressful considering we still aren’t 100% sure what our apartment will be like or already have. I defiantly know we need silverware though. So, I guess we can put that on our list (lol). 

[merylstreepiloveu]

I’ve tried so badly to help you by acting like a friend, a close friend but honestly I can’t keep acting this way, this is not me, this is not what I want...

You’ve been flirting with me and once we’ve met, you’ve been different and if you don’t find me attractive enough then you should tell me, I would understand. You know, I’m not stupid and I can noticed that you have someone else in you mind, and this person isn’t me. 

I wanted so badly things to work between us but we both conclude that we wouldn’t get along as a couple, because of our different personalities, humors, distance, definition of being in love, facing reality and being so us... We’ve always acted like friends and for sure I was jealous when you were with someone because to be honest, I was feeling something for you. You’ve made the rules by seeing others people and by flirting with another guy, and that’s your right but I don’t think this is what I call “relationship”. We weren’t already together but I thought that we could manage things out and find a solution, instead of that you just kept telling me that we were friends but sorry... last night you’ve wrapped your arms around me and I couldn’t stop asking myself “what if we were meant to be together?”, I was scared to ask you this. But anyway this is too late and I do hope that you’re gonna meet someone who can make you as happy as I could have. 

You’re a good girl but maybe you’re not facing the truth and hiding yourself behind lies. This is what I think. 

Sorry if my words will be rude but I have to write it down so I can finally feel relieved to finally explain it to “strangers”.

[countonthat]

#18

April 3, 2017

12:01 PM

So much to do so little time. I just have to get through these next two tests and then things will slow down a little until final exams.