#processing grief

[outcastsnmagic]

Bud, the Kalisk and Grief

I've been wanting to delve into the Kalisk's role as a symbol of grief in Predator Badlands but haven't gotten the time to really collect my thoughts about it. By extension I also wanna give Bud some attention because I don't think she gets as much recognition for her role in Dek's healing as other characters.

The Kalisk is described as being "unkillable" within the yautja database, and anyone who's dug into yautja lore understands that yautja salivate at the chance to take on something deemed "unkillable". To be unkillable means you're the strongest.

Physiologically the Kalisk is agile, big and outfitted with deadly claws and teeth. But it's advantage over the other fauna on Genna is it's ability to regenerate, to heal.

Dek (and by extension us as viewers) are lead into this fight under the assumption that "if it bleeds you can kill it" and there is brief catharsis in that when Dek cuts the head off the Kalisk--

Until its head reattaches.

Now here's the part I want to dig into.

On surface level Dek's journey is about becoming a warrior. We see him achieve this just as previous protagonists of the series have-- except that the adversary he has to defeat is not the Kalisk, but his own grief: his internal "unkillable Kalisk" so to speak.

The adult Kalisk representing Dek's own grief, something he believes he can deal with externally is reflected in how he is unable to defeat it in his initial confrontation with it.

Grief is not a head you can simply just cut off.

~~~~ ~~~~

So how does Bud fit into all of this?

When we finally meet Bud we are led to believe she is there to offer comedic relief and maybe just some cute heartwarming moments: she has no qualms taking on a creature bigger than herself AND she's adorable (copying dek, expressive ect.) It's a kind of relief that we recognize we need sometimes when we are grieving but Bud serves as more than just that for Dek.

It is her innocence and unconditional acceptance (and maybe later love) that truly heals him.

What Thia tells Dek about grief and family and healing Bud shows through her actions.

Bud, the child of the creature Dek has come to kill, chooses him as family despite how much of a cold shoulder he gives her initially. Her instincts as a creature, albeit an intelligent creature, see Dek's actions as similar to those of her mother: protect and provide.

Dek kills a Bone Bison (food)

Dek saves Bud from the Luna Bug (after she saved him and Thia from it - reciprocal protection)

She could have easily taken the food he reluctantly offered her and ran, but she marked him instead - She saw in him what he did not see in himself yet and accepted him WITH his flaws.

When the culmination of all that Dek has gone through comes to a head when he finally releases his grief the first connection he creates is with Bud.

Bud represents Dek's reformed relationship with his grief-- not as something to kill, but something he must work to understand and process.

This is further symbolized when he finally reconciles with the adult Kalisk. The old grief crumbles (literally), and Dek embraces it anew.

[carnage-cathedral]

watching you go felt like having a limb torn off

[pettrichore]

okay i LOVE katniss' healing post mockingjay (and the healing her and peeta do together) but i would LOVE to see more of peeta's healing journey. and not just healing from the hijacking i mean healing from his childhood too!! lots of rambles under the cut

i would love to see more of katniss and peeta working on the memory book together and going over his family. i would love to see more of his paintings and how he uses them to deal with all of his memories. him painting scenes from inside the bakery or of his family. i want to see him mourn his family, especially his father who i feel like he was closest with and yet not that close with (the distance of both being isolated by the abuse). i want to see him painting memorials for people in town and in panem in general

i keep thinking of a scene of him in the rebuilt bakery or maybe somewhere in their home he paints a memorial to his family and struggles once he gets to his mother. katniss being the one there for him as he breaks down. i need him to process the trauma and move past it finally because he's just so so good at repressing it or acting like he's fine but he isnt

i also need more moments of him with haymitch. i need haymitch being softer now that the years have been kinder and them also having a sort of father son bonding just like i know haymitch and katniss have a father daughter thing going (though i doubt haymitch will admit to it or would at least brush it off for some time)

idk i just need more of peeta getting to process things too!! katniss is there for him every step of the way. she may not know the right things to say like peeta does but she always ends up doing the right thing. steady scared hands on his or on his back. foreheads pressed together. giving him space when he needs it. finally looking through his paintings of the games together and processing the grief and pain.

[sacredandprofaneajourney]

Peonies Always Peonies

We talked it through

what we were going to do

clear that bed

It’s ok if we leave the irises you said

We’ll pick out the flowering tree in the spring you said

move the peonies you said

they need more room you said

get them moved before the ground freezes you said

and there they are

tender shoots of each of them

pushing up into the sunlight

pink and coral before the green

count the years

one for each you said

the same as my grandmother’s you said

just nine is all we need you said

your voice silenced now

tenderly they will bloom

and I will hear your voice

speak the language of the flowers

that’s how you’ll

know me when I’m gone you said

when I sing the song of

peonies

always peonies

S-

[honeycollectswhump]

something about tragedy is that the grief never leaves. it’s always there. as long as there is love there will be grief

a caretaker grieving whumpee, while they missing. they don’t know whether they are supposed to grieve a disappearance, a death or something worse.

caretaker grieving a rescued whumpee. their beloved is visibly not doing well but they already have done everything in their power to help. and it’s not enough. perhaps the recovery will take time (if whumpee makes it that far) but the uncertainty kills them

whumpee is slowly slipping from caretaker‘s grasp and it feels like they are pre-grieving their beloved. perhaps they look at old memories and ponder what might be their closest after whumpee‘s passing. perhaps they already pick out a tattoo design to remember them by. it feels wrong but they feel so helpless, they don’t know what to do

whumpee is actually dead and the world is full of remainders

[junk-and-disorderly]

Eddie Munson: now at peace.

The words on the stone slab blurred in his vision--he wanted to scream, wanted to fight, kick, and bite--anything, because Dustin Henderson wasn’t at fucking peace.

He knew the process, the ‘five stages of grief’, as the counselor had called it. She’d said with a calm voice and pitying eyes that it would “take some time”, and it was “natural to feel lost” and “you should really go to the earthquake survivor support group”. But how could she know? There was nothing fucking natural about what had happened to them. It wasn’t Hawkins that split in two, but Dustin’s whole fucking world.

(He understood why Max rolled her eyes at the therapists now, and that was a whole other regret on its own.)

So here he stood, in front of an empty grave for a boy who would never grow older. For a brother who would never see Dustin graduate (and wasn’t that the kicker? Dustin would get to do the one thing Eddie wanted most), never get to see his own dreams manifest, never, never, never--

The sting of nails against his palms was grounding. Their blind eyes see not your tears flow.

There was new graffiti on the grave marker, and with a sigh, he began his weekly ritual, his self appointed penance for being the one to walk away. It is easy to be dead.

Each step he took sent soapy water over the rim of the metal pail. The doctor told him to rest and to be careful, but why should he? Everyone else was always pushing themselves past their breaking points, taking the hits for the sake of the Party, because someone had to ‘think of the children’.

A flash of bloody teeth in the underworld. A chair in a metal room, blood stained knee high socks.

He wasn’t a child anymore.

[sabaccsniper]

when there’s highs there’s also lows, but grief is always there even if you’re happy; the heartache that never goes away is now part of you

[maniwakpa]

I know you tried to say I'm sorry

in every possible way except "I'm sorry"

I forgave you a long time ago

and I can feel you still there, I can hear your criticisms

your complaints on the cleanliness of my home

how late dinner was tonight

how I still need to lose weight

"you still don't fold your clothes in your drawers, I raised you better..."

or is that just me? Are you really there or am I just insulting myself in your voice now?

I learned after so many years of torturing myself, to let go and to be comfortable being a disappointment to everyone except you.

and I know I disappointed you.

Thank you for trying for him.

You were such a wonderful Grandmother.

I know if your situation had been different, for the better, you would have been too. Better. And you know what? You were for him, you were so much better.

Rest peacefully mama.