I won a fire table and I'm very happy lol

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I won a fire table and I'm very happy lol
I said you looked pretty
And it wasn't a lie
But I could see in your eyes
You didn't believe me
And just gave me a sad smile
- M.
Bijnë poshtë të naltit, i vogli çohet;
Edhe natyra po don m’u ndrrue:
Fillo me gëzue.
Krajlnit’ ma t’moçmet ndrrohen me t’reja
E nji mij’ popuj ranë porsi rrfeja;
Po kthen motmoti që pat mbarue:
Fillo me gëzue.
Porsi motmoti ndrrojmë dhe na vetë,
Herë-herë gazmohna, herë rrijmë të shkretë,
Por vaji e ankimi kanë për t’u shue;
Fillo me gëzue.
Dom NDRE MJEDA
The talk
As a black kid, I’ve never had the talk with my parents. They never gave me details of slavery, they never told me about Jim Crow and blackface. They told me about Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King but they didn’t tell me the full story, only that they were important for us. They never told me about Malcolm X, Henry ‘box’ Brown, Kunta Kinte and Tula which suprises me because Tula was from our island. I remember my dad telling me about the Black Panthers, no, not the Marvel movie but once again, he didn’t tell me everything. They didn’t even tell me about the police brutality. It sucks because I had to find everything out by myself. Everyone says that knowledge is power, right? Well until I knew all of this I was powerless. Know your rights, know your history. One day, you might need it.
I am such a great fighter. I know I am. I sharpen my sword and use it to draw blood. I'm more powerful with my double-sided axe than anyone I've met. My dagger skills are immaculate. I'll sneak up on you and slit you open before you know what's happened. I can use guns and knives, my fists, my voice, my skills unbending, my power unending but I can't fight everything at once. I can't go after the student grant I desperately need while my student loan is stabbing me in the back. I can't defend myself against my looming rent while my mother wants me to counter her axe attack. I can't look addiction in the face and keep on fighting while my upcoming exams won't stop kicking me, eventhough I'm already down. Because I can't fight everything at once. And I fear, once I pick a fight, the others will consume me.
An excerpt from my journal
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Nothing but rage and hatred and anger, anxiety pumps through my veins
Can’t stop the voices, can’t block out the noises, the chaos will drive me insane
Why won’t you answer me, will you just talk to me, now I just sit here and wait
Fuck you for silence, I’ll burn this all down and then lie in self-loathing and hate.