Mods, can you please say something in the asks that still use gendered wording in support of all transfems like people using "sister" or "girl" for all transfems? You had directly agreed that using language universally like that is often exorsexist and misgenders transfems that do not use that language for ourselves. This is incredibly frustrating to see the exorsexism just keep going, and it's getting to the point (the other issue with using -gyne to reference all feminine people while using it due to the connection to womanhood) that I do not think this blog really does a good job at representing transfems who are not women.
I saw the trollfem link, and as the coiner, I think you've missed the mark on why the word isn't "trollgyne" or "trollwoman," but "trollfem" to focus on femininity that does not match socially idealized classes being what brings us together. Please respect that not all transfems want to be tied to womanhood or the assumed binary language of terms associated with girlhood and womanhood. It does not read as you taking the exorsexism seriously when you do let it pass in asks from people who say they are transfem allies. Why not say you appreciate the support and they can be a better ally by not assuming feminine nouns for transfems due to being a wide group with varied experiences?
I'm fairly uncomfortable with this blog trying to force transgyne as an identity label in the same way trollfem is an opt-in one to describe any feminine experience outside an incredibly tiny one that gets asaumed to be universal. Trollfemininity is wider than transgyne, since I don't limit it to transfems, drag queens, and "certain intersex people" (Which this is vague and weirdly exclusionary as someone who is intersex. The way this is worded seems to imply that only certain variations "count" in a way to categorize "transgyne intersex" and "non-transgyne intersex" which is just recreating boxes and does not allow for variations in experiences), but instead would even consider a perisex cis white woman who grew up in a cult like I did that controlled your femininity and is a very different experience than most femininity ones outside the cult due to the coercive and very policed nature to be trollfem if they decided they were when escaping the cult.
I really hope this blog gets better about the exorsexism. I am not comfortable with getting the label transgyne imposed on me, especially with the oversights in exorsexism that have happened repeatedly on the blog. I do hope you listen and not dump this into "Oh this criticism is just bigotry" like I seem to be a rising trend about people who cannot find the FAQ asking for it. I suggest taking a break from asks to work on that instead and link it in your pinned post, because it is very often that the tumblr search for blogs does not bring up every post on a topic or in a tag, just because of how buggy the website is and this has been a problem for years. I find getting angry at people for not being able to find it knowing that context to be kind of weird. It can be frustrating to get asks constantly about it, yes, but I cannot fault people for not finding something that is not linked anywhere and may not come up in search.
The anon is intersex, nonbinary, and transfem. Do not use sister/woman/girl/etc terms for me.
can you please say something in the asks that still use gendered wording in support of all transfems like people using "sister" or "girl" for all transfems?
I've been wanting to, however, I have an issue of overcorrecting people on small details I think are important & it actually being seen as not as important than getting people completely misunderstanding me.. So, I typically just reply as I would any other one, because these people MEAN well & I don't want it to come across as me being argumentative for no reason.
Truthfully, the only reason it's not been addressed has been an issue of not understanding how to go about the situation as a social interaction.
the other issue with using -gyne to reference all feminine people while using it due to the connection to womanhood
I have seen gyne used to reference femininity in general instead of womanhood/femaleness countless times, which is why I used this word. It's also the opposite of andro (or at least is used in that way), & as somebody who's never been good at coining words, I don't think tmascs mind me stealing the blueprint of a word coined in their community for their issues for something else.
I saw the trollfem link, and as the coiner, I think you've missed the mark on why the word isn't "trollgyne" or "trollwoman," but "trollfem" to focus on femininity that does not match socially idealized classes being what brings us together.
Okay a few things with this one..
A.) Again, I only mentioned trollfem because another anon had mentioned it & I felt it was a really easy way to understand what I am saying on my blog as it is a well worded essay(?), and I only have been able to muster up the best I can to explain a similar concept
B.) I just wanna get this out of the way rn, Transgyne has never been exclusive to tfems NOR twomen. It's inherently about anybody within the social standing of being labeled as having "wrong" femininity. And it's intentionally vague in such a way so as to not be bound by identity labels.
Transgyne, at the end of the day, has nothing to do with womanhood nor transfemininity. It includes those who are in both of those groups, but is not bound by it.
Why not say you appreciate the support and they can be a better ally by not assuming feminine nouns for transfems due to being a wide group with varied experiences?
I could. And I could also get a ton of new anons saying I'm being a dick because I corrected somebody trying to show support. Like yea it sounds all well and easy when you're somebody on the outside looking in who is a completely different person who has different ideas & ways of going about things. If you lose the acknowledgement of my perspective & just think what would you do, I'm sure it sounds absurd. But idk what to tell you. It's a rough situation from where I stand.
I'm fairly uncomfortable with this blog trying to force transgyne as an identity label in the same way
Show me where I'm forcing anything?
trollfem is an opt-in one to describe any feminine experience outside an incredibly tiny one that gets asaumed to be universal.
So is transgyne. It was coined completely seperately from your shit, I literally only mentioned trollfem because another anon (which is still unfortunately in the drafts) compared them, & I figured it was a good enough comparison.
Trollfemininity is wider than transgyne
I disagree on the basis that I don't think you know what transgyne means at all, & the way you describe trollfem makes it feel very tfem heavy, & transgyne includes more than just trans people. A pericis man can be transgyne. And i know you said you don't limit to drag queens, but how you talk about it here feels otherwise.
and "certain intersex people" (Which this is vague and weirdly exclusionary as someone who is intersex. The way this is worded seems to imply that only certain variations "count" in a way to categorize "transgyne intersex" and "non-transgyne intersex" which is just recreating boxes and does not allow for variations in experiences)
I am intersex as well, & all I am doing with this statement is acknowledging that different intersex people will have widely different experiences. Too many perisex people presume we are all one homogeneous group that all experience things the same way, & I've seen the issues it causes first hand. (esp feeding into intersex people feeling "not intersex enough".
Anyways, transgyne is opt-in & intentionally vague so anyone can label themselves that way. I am not an authority figure on who describes themselves this way nor on what people call transgynephobia. I made the language as a tool, how others wish to use it in relation to their own lives & experiences is up to them.
This term is brand new & this feels more like a preemtive defensiveness to something that has not happened.
but instead would even consider a perisex cis white woman who grew up in a cult like I did that controlled your femininity and is a very different experience than most femininity ones outside the cult due to the coercive and very policed nature to be trollfem if they decided they were when escaping the cult.
Again, I feel like you are projecting a lot of things here.
I am not comfortable with getting the label transgyne imposed on me
Nobody is imposing anything.
I do hope you listen and not dump this into "Oh this criticism is just bigotry" like I seem to be a rising trend about people who cannot find the FAQ asking for it.
All I have ever said is "Hey, don't be a dick when asking where it is."
I have never accused fucking ANYONE of bigotry. You are acting extremely brash & in bad faith through this entire fucking thing.
And when it wasn't the ONE ANON I told to ask more politely, I have always said to just search #FAQ. It's a tag on the blog. I have not yet had the time to go in & create a more easily accessible thing for every little thing out there.
I find getting angry at people for not being able to find it knowing that context to be kind of weird.
I have never been angry. Only assertive to, again, one ask that was really fucking rude.
ANYWAYS, anon, I have just this to say to you:
If you had worded this ask not like a fucking asshole & without a bunch of bad faith interpretations of me just Existing as a blog runner, you would've gotten a reaponse more like
"Zomg you're so right! I was unsure if I was overreacting to the anons I've been getting like that & didn't want to start any fights, especially since a lot of people ask this stuff off-anon & I don't want to be a bigger blog being a dick to random people who meant well. I appreciate you bringing this up because I was really unsure if I should be saying something or not, because I don't want to overcorrect people, which is a mistake I commonlg make. I will make sure to start doing that, tysm for your imput."
But, you didn't. So I'm left here disputing your easily disprovable claims & dealing with this nonsense instead.
Be less of a dick, peace be with you, goodbye.
