recovering radqueer: those that are recovering from being in the radqueer community and are doing their best to heal from it
this is a collab thing between me and @report-rqs woo!! these are my/our take on these anti radqueer and recovering radqueer flags by @/acetrappolaswife (deactivated blog). i liked these flags in concept but the stripes were messy, both flags had stripes that were only a couple shades apart, and they didn't have any meanings attached. so we revamped them!
anti radqueer flag stripes:
1st black: (for POC) self care/love for yourself as a POC in a racist society
purples: queerness
pink: paraphiles and paraphila education
white: protection
magenta: anger
2nd black: (for white allys) shutting up and listening to, and respect for, POC
recovering radqueer stripes:
light pink: paraphiles/paraphila education
magenta: anger/frustration at how you were treated
deeper magenta: the strength it takes to leave
green: trauma and growth
off-white: (meaning has been changed) ALL identity terms like anti RQ transid and alternatives like dissomei, etc.
i have a dni on my blog but honestly even if you're on it you can still use these/rb, just reblog respectfully without insulting me pls
🧽 tagging: @harmlesspersonalidentityarchive @antiradqueerguy @recovering-radqueers ++ tell me if you want tagged in similar stuff
^ slightly different color scheme but here's meanings
Hello. This blog is dedicated to two important things:
Archiving examples of radqueers hurting people in undeniable ways.
When I say undeniable, I mean not things which can be argued to be just a lifestyle choice that seems weird and are discoursed over, like ships or kink choices. I'm referring to 100% advocating for child abuse, animal abuse, r*pe, p*dophilia, CSAM, inc*st, m*rder, s*icide baiting, attacking people of color, and so on.
Providing resources for people who want to fight against radqueers.
I believe the most effective way to stop radqueer idealogy from spreading is to not interact with them, but instead report them. I want to make it easier for us to do that by providing examples. I feel the only way to eliminate these predators' access to the internet is to go straight to the appropriate legal channels. Please feel free to @ my URL in any posts with receipts but please know that actual Tumblr posts or web archived links are very preferred over screenshots.
To all radqueers who are considering leaving the community: There is a safe space for you in the anti-radqueer community - yes, even if you disagree with what I just said, even if you <insert thing here>. Radqueers are not the only ones who will accept you. You can find a place to feel safe that isn't rife with predators and racists. There are safe spaces for you. You can send me an instant message with genuine questions, I will never attack or insult you!
Tags
general receipts tag
radqueer flags
emoji codes (dedicated Carrd)
radqueers being pro harassment
radqueers sui baiting, radqueers encouraging si
radqueers sexually harassing (anti radqueers)
radqueers telling others their trauma doesn’t matter
radqueers encouraging/producing/posting CSAM
radqueers encouraging/being in inc*st relationships
Hi. I’m an ex-radqueer who left the community after seeing some really disturbing things. But every so often I feel called back towards them. Specifically with the label transtrauma.
I don’t lie about having trauma that I don’t have. I consider it unethical. But I’ll be describing my symptoms on Reddit when I’m trying to seek help and I know people are making assumptions about what might have happened to me. Why I have this level of C-PTSD symptoms. And I fear having to say, “No. None of what you’re thinking happened to me. I didn’t suffer like that. I’m just so weak that I was broken by what’s supposed to be a normal childhood.” I fantasize about lying about trauma. Or my parents dying so no one can verify or refute what really happened.
The transid community appealed to me because of how they encourage you to fake your transids. Tell you that there’s nothing morally wrong with lying. That you, a trans(x) person have experienced (x) as much as a “cis(x)” person. I never actually did it. But I felt safe discussing these feelings.
I’m sorry, I just need someone I can talk to about this.
hey, i hear you. first off, you don’t have to apologize for this. you’re not alone in feeling this way, and i get why the rqc community felt like a safe space at the time. they have a way of offering validation in a way that feels really comforting when you’re struggling with your identity or trauma. but the problem is, it’s built on a foundation that isn’t really stable or truthful, and that can make things even harder in the long-term.
the way you’re feeling about your trauma is something i relate to, and something i know a lot of people deal with. it’s REALLY common to struggle with the feeling of “my trauma isn’t bad enough” or “people will think i’m lying if i say what actually happened.” the important thing to understand is that trauma isn’t about checking off a list of what’s objectively bad enough to count. it’s about how your brain and body reacted to what you went through. even if someone else might’ve had a similar experience and turned out “fine,” it doesn’t mean you should have. it doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you were hurt!
fantasizing about lying about trauma, or about something happening that would make your trauma “undeniable” to others is very normal. it's a really awful feeling, yeah, but that's also really normal for people who feel invalidated. it doesn’t make you a bad person, and it doesn't sound like something you’re doing on purpose! it just means you’re desperate to be understood, and i want to let you know there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. i would guess part of why the rqccommunity felt safe for you is because it told you, “we believe you. you don’t have to justify yourself here.” and that’s something you deserve to have, yeah: but in a way that’s actually honest and healthy.
it would probably help to find spaces that focus on trauma validation and recovery in a way that isn’t tied to rqc rhetoric. places that remind you that your trauma is real, and that you don’t have to lie or stretch the truth for it to matter. i know it's a big step to take, but are you in therapy? a therapist is a really good private space to be heard and validated. also, please let me know if you want to join our tumblr community for former rqs, or you can send us another ask if you want help finding forums/more subreddits for that kind of thing!
either way, i see you and i believe you, ok? -mod charlie
Anonymous Asked: I promise this post is going somewhere.
TW include: incest, SA, CSA, abuse, and pro shipping. This has a message but you need background.
My name is (removed) (that's what we'll use for this exercise), and I'm not a radqueer, never was, never will be.
I was, however, a proshipper. For a while.
I was sexually molested from the ages of 4-13 by my mother. I don't know the full extent because I developed DID to cope with the trauma of being molested.
I was in an abusive relationship with someone we'll call AM, and someone else we'll call AD.
AM and AD were proshippers. AD used to slap me when she was unhappy with me, or mad, and yell, and insult me. Then she'd blame her dad and tell me how sorry she was.
AM never got this treatment. AM was never abused to my knowledge, but her mother was by her father. She's technically an abuse baby.
AM and I had a lot of common ground. She and I shipped things in fandoms.
It started with common ships, then rare pairs, and then incestuous and abusive relationships.
I thought that it was going to be therapeutic for me to ship incest because I thought that that would help me with my trauma from my mother, but it never did.
It's been 4, nearly 5 strenuous years. I've learned that I'm strictly antiship and anti radqueer because of her. AM and AD made me feel dirty and gross. Pro shipping made me feel dirty and gross.
But I don't feel dirty and gross anymore. My issue was toxic people. Toxic people breed toxic traits and toxic beliefs like mould. Cut them out, and start healing, and that'll help tremendously.
I say all this to say for every recovering radqueer that you're a step in the right direction, and that if people are making you feel like you need to be a radqueer, cut them out. It isn't worth it.
Thank you.
I'm really really sorry that you experienced these traumas. I'm really glad, though, that you've been able to get away. You're right: Getting away from toxic people is a huge help. It's not easy to do at all, so I hope you know how strong you are for doing that, because that is huge. It sounds like separating yourself from these people and communities really helped you progress in your recovery journey, and I hope you can continue recovering from what was done to you. Stay strong.
While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with indulging or pampering yourself once in a while, there is more to self-care than bubble baths and face-masks. It is easy to trivialise and write-off self-care by focusing only on the indulgence. Meaningful self-care involves not just the easy, fun things. More importantly, it includes making mindful changes in patterns of thoughts and behaviours that do not contribute to your wellbeing. For instance, saying no without feeling guilty, knowing when to take a break or avoiding harmful coping mechanisms.
Self-care is NOT selfish
Brené Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection writes: “In a society that says, “Put yourself last,” self-love and self acceptance are almost revolutionary.” Self-care is not a disregard for others’ needs. It is extending the same concern and empathy for your needs that you offer others. Practicing self-care by enforcing healthy boundaries and communicating your needs is not only essential for yourself, but also makes you more available for those around you. When you make time for yourself and get sufficient rest & exercise, you feel more energetic and will be able to do more - for yourself as well as for those around you.
Self-care is NOT a one-time experience
Going on a spa day and treating yourself poorly for the rest of the week is not self care! Looking after your most basic physical and emotional needs is not a one-time luxury. It is an ongoing practice in building resilience to face hardships and in preventing burnout. To put it simply, self-care is not optional! To make the most out of self-care, it is essential to have a regular practice that is a part of your life and not something you try only when you are about to have a breakdown.
Self-care is NOT time consuming
So many people around me – including friends, family and clients, insist: “I just don’t have the time for it!” Despite acknowledging the benefits and necessity of self-care, some people refrain from making it a practice. Given how busy everyone is these days, it is understandable that you hesitate to commit your time. However, I want you to know that self-care does not require you to take out a huge chunk of time from your busy day. Self-care is practicing loving kindness towards yourself, every day, all the time.
What does it mean to have a regular self-care practice?
Having a self-care practice means that you choose to explore your needs through regular reflection and make appropriate changes to meet these needs. Becoming aware of your needs (which include multiple facets such as mind, body, relationships) is the first step in learning to make self-care a priority. Simple practices such as journaling, meditation, mindfulness and a number of other creative ways can help you begin this reflection. Setting aside a few minutes everyday – perhaps just before going to bed or having a meal – goes a long way in staying committed to the practice and making it an integral part of your life.
In addition to the time you set aside for reflection, prioritising self-care includes:
Accepting that it’s OK to have needs
Allowing yourself to be tired
Allowing yourself to make mistakes
Looking after your body by nourishing it and including some form of physical movement in your routine
Giving yourself the room to practice healthy boundaries
Expressing yourself clearly and without guilt
Staying connected with people, places and activities that make you feel good
Making room for regular self-care in your life has a number of benefits. It helps to build resilience, prevents burnout, promotes healthier relationships and makes you more productive.
How to create a sustainable self-care plan?
Self-care is essential for a wholesome, balanced life. Since self-care is an ongoing practice, you need to work on a plan that is sustainable in the long run.
Start small
You don’t have to make sweeping or overwhelming changes to start practicing self-care. Start with small changes and additions to your routine. If setting aside 30 minutes every day seems impossible right now, try beginning with 10 minutes for the first week and gradually increase. Remember, self-care is less about what you do and more about how you treat yourself.
Experiment
Each person is different and has unique needs, so there is no one-size-fits-all plan that will work for everyone. To figure out which practices work best for you, try a variety of things. When you experiment, you will gain clarity about what fits your life and routine. Make a list of activities you find helpful.
Intentional practice
If you want to build a sustainable self-care plan, it is important to be actively engaged in the practices you try. Pay attention to how it makes you feel. What is the outcome? What do you like/dislike about it?
Here are some suggestions to get you started with a self-care plan:
Pause and check-in with yourself before getting out of bed
hello, uhm, we're a sys recovering from being a radqueer and just realizing how bad and upsetting it was.. especially seeing ppl who are trans into our 'cis' trauma..
but, we have a sysmate, a fictive of nina the killer (it/she/blood) from creepypasta, who used transharmful labels. we told her that it's bad and blood seems fine, but it wants a term for herself like transk*ller (because, in source, she is, and its source brings her a lot of euphoria).
we would never act on this irl and we don't really talk about it much.. but is there another term like that blood could use? it's okay if you don't want to find one, we get it, it's a darker topic
Creepypasta Fictive: A flag for fictives(/fictive adjacent intojects) sourced from CreepyPasta stories/projects.
Horrorroleic: A roleic term for a system member whose role, status, or experience as a system member involves the horror genre in some way.
Creepypastaipsese: a ipsese term for headmates who's identity, as a headmate, and self feel intertwined with Creepypasta(s). They are not inherently sourced from it but can be.
Dissobloodstained: a dissomei term for those who believe they should be / are stained with blood. this can be because of atypical dysphoria, delusion, psychosis, coping reasons, or being an alter.
Horror Attraction: An attraction umbrella that is characterized by the horror genre. The feeling could be sexual, romantic, platonic etc. However it's solely based around the feeling of seeing ones affection as horrific in a horror sense. Other themes can include; blood, screaming, and comfort.
killer4butcher / butcher4killer ; a flag for those who identify with killers/butchers who prefer, prioritize or have exclusive relationships (romantic or platonic) with other individuals who identify with butchers/killers.
Trapiler: A neogender umbrella related to themes of traps . Trapiler also includes ; torture , gore , apprentices , victims , survival , stalking , watching , cannibalism , timers , etc .
Transpiler: Transitioning to a trapiler identity in terms of transfeminine , transneutral , transmasculine , etc .
Murdergirl/murderboy: for anyone who is a girl / boy and their gender feels connected to murder ( in media ofc ) , or a girl / boy who likes murder in media.
Creepypastasource: a gendersource subterm; a gender connected to being sourced from Creepypasta. for introjects, -kins, or anyother that is sourced from Creepypasta.
Nihealaggric: a gender related to committing murder and violence without a second thought, nihilism, superhealing abilities, and being the cat in a metaphorical game of cat and mouse
Viokiltredic: A gender related to violence and killing and hatred
Carnatia: A kind of attraction that feels gorey, raw, and Obsessive.
I included gender and attraction terms in case those happen to fit too! And, if other mods can think of any other terms please feel free to add on. -Mod Ally
