#questioning reality

[scholarofgloom]

[letshaveanicecuppatea]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/82556546/chapters/217505311

Veering Down the Road of Recovery (Companion Pieces to the Vindictive Series)

By: ANiceCuppaTea

- Chapter 4: Grand Adventures Extras Episode 3

Chapter Summary: Episode 3 - Muzzled! Nightmare....? Gromit is confused to find himself trapped in a cell by none other than Monty Muzzle...when the same thing had already occurred earlier that day. Then Gromit picks up a scent. One that's horrifyingly familiar. And then Gromit is left questioning just what's real...and what isn't.

Comments and kudos appreciated

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[chaosmindthoughts]

I believe in the future the same way I believed in God.

[c0smic-c0llective]

As I lay in bed I wonder if all my life has been a dream.

If this system is nothing more than a fragment of my imagination.

Is it truly possible that I have enough problems in my life that by brain thought this was best?

While I should believe it as I am not the old host, I do not identity with the body nor name. Alas, could I be her? Just feeling so broken that im a husk of a former self?

What do you do when life feels like its turned its back on you? Like you are part of some fucked up storyline in a tv show.

Everything feels hypocritical. "We are here for you" "talk to us" "I wish you told me" "what can I do to help". But if and when I actually act upon these requests im met with "oh no, you dont have that" "you arent like x person, so you cant be that way" "well its not that bad" "mines worse"

Im exhausted of the sheer level of denial I have to live with that I even question if I myself am real.

What is would give for a shred of knowing. A pint of feeling real, of feeling seen, to feel wanted, cared for. How can I be real? Do people even want me to be?

♈️

[daughterofthesunlands]

I promised y'all a yapping date. So a yapping date it shall be.

Author's Notes

RAIN AND THUNDER

Chapter 1: The Storm

Okay, so here we go.

How did the idea for this fic even come to me? I woke up at like 5 AM cause i desperately craved some fresh ginger tea. So in the dimness of a sombre morning, i tip-toed my way to my kitchen and made it. On my way back, i hear the loud rumbling of thunder. My room darkened, and i could feel that the rain was not far away. I strangely was thinking of the woods in that moment. And boom. There it suddenly came to me. And it wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it.

So: Writing the second chapter was really an exciting experience (i am yet to post it on here because for some reason i have developed a little complex about posting mature content on here? Maybe one of you can repair my brain idk what's happening)

THE STORM

You know, the moment this idea came to me, all i was giggling and kicking my feet about was the fact that these two would be soaked to the bone. Right? Romance. Passion. The Intensity of the elements becoming contagious, y'know? This shtick.

Oh sweet summer child.

After reading it several times, i began to find the symbolism of the storm in everyhing. It symbolizes

the internal storms both characters weather on their own.

"... he himself was shaken by what felt like a key turning in its locket, like turbulent waters suddenly stilling as his skin grazed hers." - Hunting

She wanted him to say something, anything to make a sound in the silence they found themselves in so maybe she'd have the chance not to give into him. - Hunting

What creates the friction between them is that they both see what they want—who they want—right before them, but the places they hold make the dream that exists between them impossible. It's a constant reminder of what they cannot have. The anger and irriation between them can only exist because of this distance, because nearness makes it all fade away instantly. Only the truth can survive, and the truth is undeniable love.

The methaphorical currents of the winds that part them... and keep them apart. (the ever-raging storm)

Blood and Duty. The Crown

"Do you think I had a choice in becoming King?" his eyes narrowed, "My blood chose for me!" - Old Friends, Ch. 2

and the Sword.

"I have come as a soldier, following those in my protection, Ereinion." she had answered him calmer than he'd expected. "...Should I not be here?" - Old Friends, Ch. 2

So when we find them in the first chapter, adn the intimate moment between them was interrupted by the rest of the hunting party, the promixity to reaching this moment, this space where only they exist and they can forget everything that surrounds them and the very immediate loss and disturbance of it (by other people - who in a way, are also a reason they cannot be together (societal reasons)),

it stings really bad.

Within his chest his heart raced with a whirl of indescribable emotions, which meant that its amalgam felt like anger, though it so clearly wasn't. His ever-tightening grip around his bow sent waves of heat through his fingers he ignored because nothing could surmount the current irritation of his heart. - Rain and Thunder, Ch.1

She hated him, yes—for how effortlessly he weakened, undid her whenever he came too close. [...] It was a horrible, terrible, heavenly vertigo she was now caged in. [...] Seeing, she felt blind; walking, she now felt without sense or direction. - Rain and Thunder, Ch.1

So because i really like the emotionally repressed imagining of the High King, i focused on Teiya's interal world towards the end of this first chapter. Per the descriptions of her external sensations it seems that his touch, his presence even has a very strong effect on her. Yet and still, there is nothing more painful than the aching of the heart.

Love, hidden within the darkness of shadow, was as a dream in the night of the world and (the night of) one's own mind. When she closed her eyes under the silver light of the moon, she would see his eyes staring back at her in the face of a child that she knew would never come to be.  - Rain and Thunder, Ch.1

By the end of the chapter it almost feels like she (and he) manifested the storm by their felling reaching a crescendo—the crescendo being this friction of repressed emotions that almost leads to catastrophe (on Teiya's part).

Maybe she needed to fall to stop the endless tumbling of her heart. Embracing the certain darkness she found, she braced herself for a brutal, sobering impact,

Then end of the path both are on will only lead to regret and destruction. The antidote is giving into the storm, trusting the torrent. The only way to still all the storms—is to go through them together.

when a strong, steady hand locked around her arm... and saved her from her willed unmaking. - Rain and Thunder, Ch.1

On the other side waits saving, rescuing love. For both of them.

continue to the Author's Notes of Chapter 2

[magpiepills]

I think I’m gonna write some weird smut. Do not hold me responsible for it.

[wallkett]

I find myself questioning my existence.

I'm an Andalite

I am Wallkett-Maheen-Tahallik. Son of Asalfor-Maheen-Carross and Fanleen-Issalan-Corill, older brother to Miraklli-Issalan-Enilon. And I am supposed to be a Botanist, a Xenobiologist, a member of the Gold Peaks Academy of Science.

But I am here . And I am a human living in a room and trying to exist. I don't know why I am here! But this is what I have.

I feel like it is wrong to hate my humanity since it is what I am.

My past... its lightly based on Animorphs. And well. Its a work of fiction. So.. my family.. were they even real. Am I ... real.

WHAT AM I?

Do I even deserve to exist?

But I cannot even leave this ...body

This body is not mine . It belongs to someone who is no longer here. So.. what does that make me ?

A figment of some traumatized child's imagination?

But if that is true, why do I think? why do I feel? Why am I asking this questions?

So I must be real? Right?