Breaking the Script: Character Over Performance in a Neurodivergent World 💫🦁
Being neurodivergent, the rarest and most priceless gift I can receive is having someone see the core of me and acknowledge my feelings without me even having to shout. I will never take that for granted, and I have worked so hard to protect that meaningful feeling and gift.
I was at lunch with family yesterday, enjoying a great conversation with my baby niece, whom I love more than anything. But my parents kept interrupting me and trying to shut me up 🥺—mostly my dad, which is no surprise there. My dad said, “Can’t you stop talking long enough to butter your bread and pass the butter?” And I simply said, “No, I can’t… you have to be patient with me.”
I was right smack in the middle of telling my niece something important, because no one else sees her struggles either. I am positive my niece takes after me in the way she thinks. I understand her the most, and I WILL protect her at all costs. Her mom and my dad cannot invalidate her experiences any longer. I constantly validated my niece yesterday and let her know that her struggles are mine, too. She is not alone in being neurodivergent. She told me she thinks she is neurodivergent, and I completely agreed with her, because the struggles she described having with "starting tasks" are my exact same experiences.
I told her to pray for God to encourage her to focus on one task at a time, and for her to have the motivation and focus to start a task instead of saving all her tasks until the last minute like me, lol. Yet, my dad kept interrupting me, and her mom says she’s just lazy and doesn’t care about stuff… ooof 😳. My sister-in-law is NOT neurodivergent whatsoever; she has no clue at all. I love my sister-in-law so much and think she is an awesome, wise lady in many areas of life, but she is completely misunderstanding my niece, and it is what it is. It’s not like my sis-in-law has invalidated me to my face, but she has watched my dad do it. She is so much like my dad, too, in giving "tough love” to all of us.
Ugh, my niece has one week left of school and she is nervous about all the assignments she saved until the last minute. But I told her that I love her no matter what grade she ends up getting, and that she is so much smarter than people give her credit for. I am actively rewriting the trauma script and stopping the generational curse of invalidation and misunderstanding. If I can understand my niece and help her grow, she can pass that same understanding down to the next generation in our family. I am so proud of my niece for owning her struggles and for being vulnerable with me. She is not afraid to speak up when she needs to, and she is an absolute lion inside. Yay! 👏🏻
My mom overheard our conversations, and she was nodding at us but also making a disappointed face, too. No grandma wants to watch their kids and grandkids say they struggle to work or accomplish anything, but my niece’s worth is not in her ability to perform 🥰✨. I love her so much, even if she doesn’t become super successful one day. I believe her success is found in her character and a wisdom that is far deeper than school grades or landing a good job one day. My niece is a pleasant person to talk to; she is polite, and she listens just as much as she talks. You can’t put a price on that.
I am actively healing and breaking generational curses every day. One day at a time. 💫
5-25-26 at 1:41 p.m. - 32 33 49 -
