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Jealousy Of A Stupor | Chapter 1

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Warnings: Jealousy, Sensory Overload, Sam and Saileach are both ghostfaces (sorta), there are more than 2, underage drinking (in the US), swearing, mixed signals but not in a way that's too uncomfortable or cringe inducing (yet), I think that's it lmk if I missed something.

word count: 5k

a/n: I did not proof read this, it’s well after 3am right now and I REALLY wanna get this out so if something goes wrong, I can correct it another time. Now, enjoy this very self indulgent fic. Because it is not a reader one, and uses my Self Insert as the main character. Kiss my ass, its fun. I reblog x reader stuff all the time, go support those writers <3 they do it better. There's also some fun details I added, including an Easter egg some scream fans who are also gamers may notice. Have fun!

[Outside The College - Third Person POV]

It was the end of the week, a sunny day, gleaming streaks of clouds streaming across the sky. The best kind of day to sit in the shade of a tree in front of college campus. The final bell rang out, signalling the end of this week’s classes as the students flooded out of the hallways, amongst them was a small, long black-haired figure swiftly shuffling through the open dam of students. Their feet clicking, stomping and scraping across the pavement leading from the front doors.

Down the pathway walked the figure, as the rest loomed over them, until they met a wooden table that sat a group of familiar faces. Chad, his twin sister Mindy, her girlfriend and new girl Anika, and other new guy Ethan, who sat opposite their close friend with freckles littering her face, a deep scar that decorated her hand in a crescent, Tara.

“Hi, Saileach!” A soft voice piped up from beside Mindy. The bright appearance and demeanour of the girl matched the voice.

“Hi, Anika!” They responded with a grin. They sat down on the opposite end of the bench to Tara, leaving a space for the one who had yet to show up. “That final exam was a motherfucker, wasn’t it? What a load of shite question 7 was, too.” They sat their bag down beside them on the concrete square amongst the grass that their table was bolted to, “What kind of torturer came up with that paper?”

“Jokes on you losers, I didn’t take a film studies course,” Chad teased, a hint of a smug smile creeping on his lips, while Saileach pulled out their phone to text someone, responding without glancing up from their screen.

“Ah, yes, because physical education and the study of frat parties is completely stressless,” the group turns their attention back to them, “fuckin eejit…” they tease, a playful grin growing on their own lips. “When are you gonna be here?” Saileach sends a text to their closest friend, jumping when they hear a matured voice coming from behind them.

“I am here,” Tara and Saileach immediately turn their attention behind them, seeing Tara’s older sister standing tall over the both of them, “You just weren’t paying attention,” The taller, and older, woman sends a knowing glance at the dwarf, raising an eyebrow with a subtle smirk that only her sister and closest friend would be able to notice. Sam didn’t go to their college, after all she was a fair number of years older than all of them, being 5 years older than her sister. However, since she couldn’t keep them safe inside the school, she opted to meet them outside of it every day instead, something that Saileach looked forward to every time.

“If by paying attention you mean having eyes on the back of my head, then uh, no. No I wasn’t,” They retort, patting the space between themselves and the younger Carpenter, allowing Sam to slip in and settle down herself. She had a habit of using her body to guard the two people she held closest. She refused to let anyone cause Saileach to make that pained, terrified expression they made when they saw Richie pining her to the floor of Stu Macher’s old house, or to let anyone’s knife carve her sister’s flesh while she wasn’t there again. The fear in their eyes reminding her too much of a child that was being stared down by their angry, drunken parent, and the sight of her sister vulnerable in a hospital bed causing her to lose sleep over the nights she wished she never left. But if she didn’t, she might not have met them. She gave a sneaking glance to the distracted person tucking their knees into themselves beside her, mentally smiling to herself.

“Wow, the snark is just radiating from the table today! I’m proud of you all, as the resident master in attitude, you make me glad to have you as students,” Mindy couldn’t help but stick herself into the conversation, even more so to give herself props, as she wraps an arm around her girlfriend’s waist. Not that surprising, and no one could really deny her title either.

“Well, its the end of the week, and we have one more day before we have two weeks off and have to come back to this hell hole,” Chad takes no time in changing the conversation, “I’m going to be partying and living off beer the whole time, what about you guys?” changing it so he can turn it into something alcohol related, of course. The rest of the group enters a collective sound of questioning hums. Ethan is the first to answer with a tut of dismissal.

“Not really anything-…” He tries to answer but is cut off by Chad.

“Wrong!” He says, patting Ethan’s back with a firm hand, “I am gonna get you laid, man. I swear to you, these next two weeks you and I will be drowning in women, got it?” The younger man can only stutter over his response, before caving and agreeing to join Chad on his two-week party plan. Mindy and Anika both agree to join them.

“You two gonna hop on the train as well?” Anika raises an eyebrow, gesturing a nod towards the two sandwiching Sam between them.

“Well…” Tara starts.

“No. Not a chance. Neither of you are going to some frat group’s house party, let alone multiple over two weeks!” Everyone turns to Sam, who answered for Tara before she could finish.

“What? You can’t stop me from having fun for two weeks, Sam!” Tara gestures angrily to Sam, then to her friends. Unlike Saileach, she wanted her sister to back off and stop being so protective.

“Sam, hey, I promise we’ll look after her, right guys?” The jock makes a promise to the older sister, after all, she knew how much he cared for Tara. But could she really let her beloved little sister off to some frat party with drunk idiots who would probably just forget their job two beers in? Her nerves are settled just a little bit when Saileach gently holds her sleeve, and suggests they have a smaller “practice party” tonight at her and Tara’s apartment.

“Look, I’m against anyone, especially Tara, going to any big drunken parties as you are, Sam,” They gently rest their palm on top of hers, “But we can’t stop her from going through life like everyone else, maybe this will prove Chad and Mindy can make sure she’s safe, yeah?” After a long pause and taking a deep breath, noticing the mild offence on Anika and Ethan’s face at Saileach not including them, eventually agreeing on the practice party.

The group eventually settles down, each heading back to their respective apartment complexes. Chad headed back with Ethan, Mindy and Anika stuck together as usual to go back to their apartment, Sam and Tara went back to join Quinn, who they predictably would probably end up walking in on yet another of her sex positive afternoons. Saileach meanwhile was the only one who didn’t live with a member of the group, because all the apartments were filled. Instead, they took the apartment just across from Sam and Tara’s, and stayed with a guy called Danny. Luckily, their apartment view had a clear sight into Sam and Tara’s kitchen, so they could rest easy knowing they weren’t too far away.

[In Sam And Tara’s Apartment]

As expected, when the sisters came home, Quinn was indeed having sex. Again. Everyone had been assigned a task for the night. Mindy was to choose the movie line up, Chad was to go out and buy the drinks, and Saileach & Tara were to team up and goo buy the snacks.

While Tara was getting ready to head out with Saileach to get the snacks, which everyone had personally made requests for, Sam decided to clean up the place a little bit and get comfortable before everyone got there. Quinn had said goodbye to that evening’s fun, and bumped into the taller brunette in the kitchen, washing some dishes.

“I am never bringing that one over again,” She groaned, leaning her elbows on the kitchen island. She had noticed Sam peeking out the window in intermittent glances, and when she got up to check for herself what the fuss was about, a hint of red had creeped its way across Sam’s cheeks. “Ooo,” She cooed, “Is someone staring at mister cute abs again?” Quinn had caught a peek at a set of arm muscles moving just barely out of view, trying in vain to get another peek for herself.

“Drop it, Quinn…” Sam countered, cutting off her roomie’s teasing before it could go further. She placed another clean dish in the drying rack.

“Aw, come on! He’s hot as all get out, and you clearly has a thing for you, too,” The red-head sauntered over to Sam, despite her glare she kept pressing the issue, “I’ve seen him peeking through the window as well~” She drew out that last part in a sing song.

“I said no, and you know why,” Sam’s tone was getting harsher, more blood rushing to her face and ears, “I’m not ready for something like that,” She pushed herself off the edge of the kitchen sink, “Now, if you’ll excuse me?” She turned to Quinn before walking off to get dressed, leaving her to take a few more cheeky looks out the window alone.

“Sam, I’m heading out!” Tara called out, in response to a frail knock on their apartment door. She opened it, peering down ahead of time, knowing who was waiting, “Hi, Sail,” She greeted the dwarf with a bright grin, “You ready to go?” She asked.

“I should be asking you,” They gestured to the apartment, brushing a strand of their pitch dark hair behind their ear, “I did come to your door after all.” They teased with a raised brow.

“Alright, smart ass, lets go,” She walks out, shouting in, “See you in a bit, Sam!” And shutting the door behind her.

“Be careful!” Her sister shouted back, but the door had shut on her before she could even finish her sentence, and the two were gone.

[At The Corner Store]

A bell dings above the glass door, which was framed by windows that granted a completely clear view to the shelves stocked with chocolate, crisps, nuts, and the fridges in the back that glowed with a dull, white light, illuminating the bubbly beers, sweet soft drinks and fizzy sodas that lined the shelves behind the glass.

“Good evening, Mr Hackett!” A soft voice called out, the small frame that belonged to it following suit with another fairly taller one as second one repeated what the first said, their dark hair melding together in the bodega owner’s peripheral, creating a blob of moving colours mixing in black, peach and white.

“Good evening, Saileach, good evening, Tara,” The older man didn’t look up from his news paper which he was staring at hard enough to damn near burn a hole through, his reading glasses resting comfortably on the bridge of his nose, “What brings you both here this late?” He asked, a hint of the tone of an old friend on the tip of his tongue.

“An absolute bender!” The smaller customer excitedly answered the familiar clerk, spinning on the heel of their thick, black boots to walk backwards, their hands casually in the pockets of their black zip up. Tara granted a smiling glance towards the banter the two were having, grabbing a bag from the rack to keep their bounty of food in.

“Do you mean a quote-unquote “bender” of a single night?” The middle-aged man teased, sending a sly smirk and a glance towards the exaggerated feign of shock on Saileach’s face, the creases on their skin bending and warping their dark lipstick and eyeliner.

“Aye, sure, sure,” They give a light-hearted response from their curled lips, before turning back to their shopping buddy to get ready for the night’s drink-filled activities. They followed the taller girl around, nabbing some snacks and tossing them into the bag. The two peacefully exchanged some small talk, until Tara asks a question that pulls the fun energy out of the conversation, for Saileach anyway.

“Has Sam seemed a bit…off to you?” She asked absentmindedly, glancing at the shelves.

“In what way?” They briefly pause in their tracks so as to not go too far ahead of Tara.

“As in, she seems kinda distant these days,” She turns her eye contact back down beside her, “I’ve seen her taking looks out the window with a smile on her face, I think she has a thing for that cute boy you live with, eh?” She giggles, “She always did have a thing for muscles.” She teased her sister behind her back about the pack of muscles she saw Sam staring at from the kitchen on numerous occasions.

“Does she?” Suddenly the tension in their muscles rose. The colour draining from their face, turning it more pale than their makeup was able to cover up, but just enough that Tara couldn’t notice between her half-second glances from them and the shelves.

“I think so, though I don’t blame her, if I was her I’d wanna get with that too.” She chuckled.

“Hm, interesting…” That was the last conscious sentence they made for the rest of the shopping trip. The only thing they could hear was the heated blood rushing in their ears, a cacophony of a nearby waterfall of blood in both their mind and under their skin, the bell ringing with each customer that went in and out of the glass which fragilely housed their mind, the shuffling of feet with the moving bags and the muffled sounds of Tara talking to them in the background, blissfully unaware of the grip Saileach had on their own palm, their knuckles turning a dead white, and their nails leaving crescent grooves into their own flesh under the safe disguise of their zip-up’s pockets. All they could do was run on auto-pilot, keep it to themselves by dissociating, and keeping up the mask of normalcy over the darkening of their eyes in hopes Tara wouldn’t notice their dead, ghostly appearance matching their droning, lifeless behaviour. They felt like all but a worming mound of disgust and anger wrapped in a poorly stitched together suit of human flesh. They swore they could feel the frame of their bones that kept them from collapsing into a gelatinous glob of immovable tissue and blood. The smell of everything reeked, making their stomach churn in a desperate effort to not chuck up them lunch they had earlier. They could feel the cold air of the nearby fridges ticking the hairs in their nose. They couldn’t take it anymore, they needed out. It was a death trap being in this small glass and brick cage, an asylum cell that could comfortably keep you alive for weeks or months on end but smelled, sounded and felt so terribly claustrophobic and rotten. Was that musk of decaying meat real, or just their heavy, manual breathing making them lightheaded? They couldn’t know for sure. Get me out. Out. Home. I want to go home. That was all they could think. It plagued their mind like the incessant buzzing of a blue-bottle or a song they just couldn’t escape no matter how many radio channels they cycled between. It was torture. It was suffocating. It was-

“That’ll be 24.95.” It was peaceful. The sound of a gentle bodega clerk, the repetitive pinging of the till as he swiped the snacks across the barcode scanner that gleamed with a red stain reflecting on his glasses. Tara making brief small talk with him was music on their sensitive ears.

“Thanks, Mr Hackett,” She said, taking the last of the snacks and returning them to the bag, slinging it over her curled fingers, “See you later, bye!”

“Cya, old man.” Saileach gave a light-hearted farewell to the man over the counter, giving him a fist bump which they could barely manage over the height of the damn thing.

“Don’t get into too much trouble, ya pair of gremlins!” He jokingly called out with a chuckle, as the two carried their bounty of food out into the darkening streets of the warmer than average winter evening.

“Ah,” Saileach gave a masked content sigh, taking in the flickering heat of the setting winter sun, “January embers, eh? Gotta love em!” They expressed their love for warm winter nights, despite the warning they gave of the degrading climate. The heat of summer being their worst nightmare, and the cold of winter turning their sensitive skin into a mass of exposed nerves that couldn’t bare to be touched by even the most delicate of hands, lest said hands wished to be departed from their length appendages.

“Stop quoting IT and lets go,” Damn it, Tara knew her horror, “the others are probably waiting for us at the apartment.” Tara gently grabbed at the Dwarf’s sleeve, and began dragging them down the road to their shared apartment complex.

“Correction, they’re probably waiting for the snacks at the apartment,” They followed the taller girl’s pull, “We’re just the delivery people that drop your pizza off before you tell em to eat shite and keep the change.” They joke with a chuckle, knowing their friends would never treat them that way, nor would they. They had all become something of a family over the past year or so. Their trauma fusing them all together like a fire that welded the metal of a shield piece to piece. They mentally gagged at that thought, knowing damn well if they said it to the group out loud they’d be ragged to hell and back. With love of course.

“Well this delivery girl lives in the apartment their using, and bought the food she’s delivering,” she boasted, gesturing to herself with the bag in her hand.

“What does that make me, then?” Saileach questioned trailing slightly behind the youngest Carpenter. If she was the delivery girl who were you in this metaphorical joke of a scenario that you yourself made up?

“The um…” The girl gave a tsk between her pondering pause, “other delivery person?”

“Slick, love,” You retort, “very slick.” The rest of the walk home was mostly silent, only broken up by mutterings of “go” when the lights signalled that it was okay to cross the busy New York streets. Saileach couldn’t help but think back to the store. Again. Their sickness took over again. This was the third time this month, and they’d only been getting worse. What was the common factor between the incidents? They knew it was jealousy. They were autistic, not stupid. Why, though? And over who? Each incident involved different people. First over their friends, in which Tara herself had to calm them down after Anika and Ethan had gotten involved with everyone. Ironically, after that it was Tara, that incident had been the worst. Until this evening. They mentally tossed it aside, letting it flow away for now like water off a duck’s back. Best not to dwell when tonight was going to be so fun! Right? Little did they know, Tara had been sneaking concerned glances the entire walk over since they had paid for the food. Whether they noticed it or not, she wasn’t sure, but them pausing for a full 5 seconds after she mentioned Sam’s feelings for Danny was kind of hard to miss. She decided to leave it for now, and let the fun of the night roll on.

[At Sam And Tara’s Apartment]

“We’re back!” Saileach chimed, taking the bag off of Tara’s hands and setting it on the coffee table in front of the couches and TV.

“Ayo! Welcome back, party animals!” Chad shouted across the room, quickly jogging over and wrapping an arm around the each of them, a beer in one of his hands. A big cheesy grin on his tipsy face.

“I assume you got the drinks then, big guy.” Saileach planted a supportive hand on the much taller guy’s chest, earning a mildly confused glare from a relaxed Sam, resting an arm over the couch and a beer in her hand too.

“That I did!” He cheered, “Let me get you one!”

“Cheers, that’d be grand,” They agreed, “No beer, though!”

“Welcome back,” she greeted them softly, “How’s Mr Hackett?” She asks, before turning her eyes back to Mindy who had gave a cheer when they came through the door, and had now left Anika’s side and gotten up to go choose the movie they’d start with.

“Uh, he’s good,” Saileach nods in response awkwardly sitting on the same couch she was, but giving her a few feet of space.

“Is that it..?” She turns her gaze to them, her fingers toying with the thread coming loose on the top of the couch.

“Mhm, why?” They got comfortable against the soft cushions resting against their back, Tara doing the same on the floor between the two. Chad came back in with a drink for Saileach and a beer for Tara. “Thanks, Chad.” They muttered, before turning their attention back to Sam.

“You’re not very chatty, you okay?” She asks, trying to hide the genuine worry on her face. The dwarf was usually much more upbeat, but when they came through the door it was like something was plaguing their mind. Did something happen between them leaving the apartment and coming back? It had only been about an hour, but a lot can happen in a few minutes, let alone a full hour, she supposed. Come to think of it, they didn’t see each other when Tara left. Were they this way before that? Did their roommate upset them? God help him if he did.

“I’m fine, just tired from the walk sure,” They just brushed off her concerns. Normally they’d share all their worries with Sam, so why not this? It made her feel as if she had done something wrong, but she wanted Tara’s first time drinking to be fun and not depressing, she owed her sister that much for always being on her back the past year, “I’ll feel better with a few drinks in me!” They chuckled with a soft grin. Fake. So so fake. She could tell.

“Okay!” Mindy shouted out, “Movie time!” She had got the perfect movie for the group to start the night with: A Nightmare On Elm Street. She put the movie on and everyone settled down with their drinks and preferred bowls of snacks.

“Aye, sure, a great movie franchise to watch through before you go to bed. Thanks, Mindy!” Saileach’s sarcasm was like a venom dripping from their accent, their playful smile holding the same effect as the tone of their voice, before they take another swig from their bottle.

“You’re just a coward who can’t handle classic horror, actually, little miss Elevated Horror.” The expert on spooky movies teased. In response, both Tara and Saileach spoke up with the same claim.

“It’s better!”

“Bullshit! Nothing beats the classics!” The night basically continues like this for a while, Tara and Saileach making jabs with Mindy and Ethan defending the classics. Playfully of course.

“Hey, uh, Sail could you quickly grab my phone from my bedroom?” Sam spoke up when the dwarf stood up to grab another bottle from the kitchen, “I think I left it on my bedside table.”

“Yeah, of course!” Their words mildly slurred, being decently far through the drinks and movies by this point. They were onto the third one now.

“Thanks.” Sam turns her attention back to the movie. They walk off down the hallway, reaching the older Carpenter’s door. Sam was usually strict on who could enter, Saileach was just an exception to her rule of “No one in my room unless you’re bleeding or dying.” She of course wasn’t entirely serious, but she liked her privacy. The two had a number of nights where they had slept in her room, usually because the smaller person had nightmares that gave them terrible insomnia, so she allowed it. They walked in, immediately seeing her phone on the beside table where she said it was. They crawled over the bed, reaching across to the wooden table to grab it. The sender down wood of the table was smooth, a turned off lamp resting on its corner. Saileach noticed the small drop pattern of blood that had decorated the wood from a bad cut Sam had gotten making dinner a number of weeks back. At that memory, their lips curl into a small smile, before they walk back in and toss her mobile device into her lap.

“Thanks, again.” She gave a quick smiling glance in appreciation.

“Yeah, no problem…” The last part of their sentence trailed off as they watched Sam open their messages, and the name Danny popped up. The poisonous reminder of the earlier events that night came back into their mind. That nagging feeling of something they cared so deeply about being taken away by another thing they cared about. A glance Sam had sent in the direction of you and Danny’s apartment with a smile on her face made Saileach feel sick. All they could think of was what he was saying to make her smile, while they sat opposite with a drink in their hand, stuck in their own head, and unable to process their own jealousy. Eventually they had enough, and swore to keep it out of their head, and just have fun. At that, they started downing their new bottle of alcohol, getting the attention of the whole room.

“Woah! Take it easy there, dude!” Mindy called out with a laugh. The energy in the room rose more and more over the next hour, the dwarf starting to get into off balanced territory. However, slowly the group started getting concerned. Tara, Sam and Anika most of all because the other three were either too distracted to notice the mess of a person growing in front of them, or they were too drunk. That last one mostly applying to Ethan. Though, eventually even they catch on. It’s clear that Saileach is a bit too drunk, and they start to communicate an agreement to take them to bed.

“Hey, slow down there, champ!” Chad speaks up with a laugh of his own, gently resting his large, warm hand on his friend’s shoulder. They weren’t the closest, but they still cared for each other. Knowing the headache they were gonna have to deal with in the morning, he finally asked them if they wanted to go to bed.

“Nnnnno…I’m fiineee *hic*,” Their soft voice slurred, “I promish!” Which was all they could get out before Tara dragged her small frame from the floor she had previously been resting on, wobbling slightly on her own feet, having taken two beers of her own.

“I’ll take them to bed,” She gently reached her arms out to take Saileach’s hands in her own, “C’mon, Sail, lets head to bed.” They yanked their hands away, going to take a triumphant swig.

“I. Am. Fineeee-,” they whined before they got cut off by Sam swiftly removing the glass from their weak grip, placing it on the table and wrapping her strong arms around their waist. Before anyone could react, least of all Saileach, they were tossed over her shoulder, embraced in her muscles and scent, her firm palms resting under their thighs, leaving them muttering into the crook of her neck in protest. The feeble attempts they made to wriggle free falling on deaf ears and a strong grip.

“Night, Saileach!” They all drew out in a sweet bid goodnight to the mumbling ball in Sam’s arms.

“Nooo!” They whined. A pained look of apology grew across Tara’s face with a somber smile.

“Stop wriggling!” Sam didn’t feel like carrying this tenacious drunken mess all the way to their own apartment, so she feigned reluctance in bringing them to her own bed. She dropped them onto the soft river of bed sheets messily, nearly falling over herself and landing on them, leaving their warm, flushed faces inches away from each other. A pout pursing on Saileach’s lips, their eyes finding it hard to not dart around the firm features of Sam’s face. Eyes, lips, skin creases, eyelashes, back again.

“You *hic*…” The two leaned slightly closer, warm breath ticking each other’s lips, “you shtole…my alcohol!” They pouted with a soft and empty glare. Sam immediately stood herself back up, rolling her eyes at the small frame barely taking up half the length of her bed.

“Why are you being so difficult tonight?” She reached into her drawers and pulled out a loose top, a tank top, and two pairs of shorts. Tossing the blankets over Saileach’s eyes, she very quickly changed into her night clothes, then started to help them changed into the loose top and pair of shorts she had grabbed. They eventually flopped back onto the bed when Sam had grabbed some water and practically forced it down their throat. After saying goodnight to the others, she turned her attention back to the bed in front of her, and climbed in.

“Fu- *hic* Danny…” They mutter under their breath, fading in and out of consciousness. Sam felt a familiar anger rising in her core. The heat in her stomach making her feel sick. Really? Now she had to compete with that? At this hour of all things? She was too tired to be angry at anyone. She could only gently reach over to the sleeping mess in their drunken stupor, brushing the soft, fluffy curls of their raven black hair from their flushed face. With a sigh, she sheltered the dwarf in her firm embrace.

“Goodnight, Sail…” She muttered under her breath, “I promise to look after you tomorrow.” The older Carpenter let her eyes flutter closed, drifting off into darkness herself.

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