#really stressed

[megatron-offical]

Yo! Mega-Dude! Whaddup?

@sg-soundwave-offical

*ahem*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

[wanderingmind867]

I just got out of the shower. But while in the shower, I realized some things. My dad said that the brain cancer charity walk tomorrow might be really big. Well, really big is probably relative. I'm not expecting 1,000+ people, but I feel like it could be 500+. And although that is just a small possibility, the possibility exists. And that's now killing my nerves. It's messing me up, and it's really stressing me out. I feel uncomfortable. I don't like it. I don't like it at all!

I'd been trying to avoid thinking about it, I think. For the past few days, I've been agreeing to do the walk. But for the exact same amount of time that I've been aware of the walk, I've been too busy thinking about other stuff to think about it. And in some ways that's a good thing. It meant I didn't have to worry too much about the walk. It meant I didn't have an extra stressor on my mind, sure. But that means I now have to think about all these stressors the night before we do it all, and that's now really firing me up!

What do we do if it's 500+ people!? I can't handle a crowd that size! Or I can, but it won't be fun. It means I'll probably be afraid of people hearing me talking to my dad, so I'll have to put on my outdoors persona and bottle up a lot of my inhibitions and avoid talking about my interests again. It also means I might be really stressed by the noise. If it's a ton of people, imagine the noise. Oh gods…

On top of that, imagine if my Nana is there! That would kill me. My Nana is an abusive asshole of a woman, a lady who's yelled at me and bad mouthed my parents and who also has some really nasty conservative views. If she shows up (as she could, since we live in the same city)…that would ruin my life. I would have an immediate panic attack. I might legitimately meltdown in public. And that would be horrible. I hate the idea of melting down where people can see me. And I know my nana being there is unlikely, but it's not impossible. And that simple fact is horrifying.

Finally, I'm still worried about the heat. I keep hearing it'll be cooler tomorrow than it's been a lot of the recent days prior, but I'm terrified it won't be. I'm worried it'll be boiling hot, or that my nerves are gonna cripple me and make me sweat really badly. So yeah, I've got a lot of stressors. I hope the weather is okay. I hope my nana isn't there. I hope the crowds aren't too big. I hope a lot of things.

Even beyond all these, I think there's still fears surrounding things like "What if I need to go home early due to stomach problems?" or even things like "what if I have a meltdown in public and people judge me?" There's so many fears, and I'm really regretting not thinking about all this before. My dad and I really should've thought of all this. But no. No, we didn't. Now it's happening tomorrow. Damn it. Damn it all. sigh…

[cryborgmechs]

at the dentist and found out my mouth is super messed up. not to be dramatic but i am actually bordering on desperate for money to pay for the repairs on this - commissions are discounted to help, anything helps

[gay-draag-path]

So I was gonna stay up until midnight but I’m not having the best night so I’m probably just gonna sleep, happy early Saturday though!

[20y2]

NORTHERN EXPOSURE

6.07 Full Upright Position

[sanctaignorantia]

how dare you never have noticed vamp and raiden together? why isn't there a tag of them and for them, why is there absolutely nothing on this tumblr? why can't I find anything?

[polarishyacinth]

anybody else start tearing up when you look at the amount of work you have to do? or is that just me?

[dj-sleepytime]

I just spilled my guts to the lady at the build a Bear I’m sorry, you asked what the occasion was.