so you kid just got diagnosed with autism. a guide for parents who recently received an autism diagnosis for there child, by an autistic person!
so your kid just got diagnosed with autism? i know this may seem new and confusing, and like any good parent your probably wondering “how can i help my kid best now that i know they have autism?” well here are some tips, suggestions and things i recommend buying as an autistic person!
stay away from ABA therapy. obviously i can’t control you but getting them in speech therapy and occupational therapy is a lot better
BE PATIENT. autistic people need time compassion patience love and kindness to thrive. don’t rush them or snap.
don’t yell or get frustrated when your child is upset. let them feel their feelings and don’t shame them or make them feel bad like saying “it’s not THAT loud” or “you are being dramatic”
don’t punish them for meltdowns
if your child is nonverbal and you want them to start speaking, don’t pressure them to speak by saying “say _____” just speak without expectations. like if you are playing with bubbles don’t say “say bubbles” just say bubbles yourself like “we are playing with bubbles” speech isn’t the goal, communication is. verbal speech isn’t better then other forms of communication.
a child is never too young for AAC. and it doesn’t hinder verbal speech development. it actually can increase verbal speech development.
don’t assume your child is stupid and doesn’t understand anything. we are people with thoughts and feelings too. we do need a lot of help and support but we are not stupid.
autistic people CAN become independent, but they also might not and that’s not a bad thing.
WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! even though autistic people can have a lot of difficulty showing they love you, you just have to learn the subtle ways they do show. even though it might seem like we don’t, often times your just missing what we are doing to show love.
DONT feel disappointed or like you did something wrong. you are not a bad parent and you didn’t do anything wrong at all. having an autistic child is about as common as having a baby born with green eyes! autism isn’t a bad thing it’s just different. different is NOT bad.
AAC isn’t just for people who don’t speak at all. many semiverbal, situationally mute, people who have verbal shutdowns but are otherwise verbal, people with stutters or disorganized speech, people who have intermittent, unreliable, expensive, ineffective or incoherent speech can benefit from AAC! AAC is for everyone that is helped by it.
sensory “shields” things like sunglasses for light, ear defenders for noise, masks for smell or anything else that can kind of help turn down the sensory world a bit:)
VISUAL SCHEDULES! i can’t stress enough how helpful these are especially with routine changes being distressing, being able to have a predictable routine helps keep things predictable and reduces overwhelm
AAC!! AAC of all kinds are the best thing ever. don’t forget that just because your child doesn’t talk, doesn’t mean they don’t have things to say. giving AAC to a nonspeaking/nonverbal/mute kiddo is giving them a voice to finally express the things they wish they could say.
fidgets and sensory tools!!
now i’m going to make a little list of some must haves in my opinion:)
weighted blanket, weighted plushie, weighted vest, weighted pillow, weighted lap pad, compression clothing, or sensory socks all provide deep pressure which can be really beneficial for grounding and regulating during a meltdown. my person favorite combo is having a weighted blanket for bedtime, a weighted lap pad or plushie for going out, and a body sock for daytime at home.
ear defenders. some can be uncomfy so it’s definitely a trial and error to find ones that you kid likes, but don’t be discouraged if they don’t like them, it might just be the way THOSE ones feel. so don’t be scared to try out a different pair. i recommend the alpine brand for kiddos.
chewlery. many of us seek oral sensory input and will chew suck or bit things that aren’t meant to be. this can include but isn’t limited to, straws, sleeves or necks of clothing, our skin, our lips and inner cheeks, our hair, our nails and fingers, pencils, toys, bottle caps, soda tabs, pens, and just about anything else mouth sized. chewlery is a good way to replace the oral stim with a healthy safe alternative that won’t get us sick, break our teeth or what we are chewing on or anything else bad. i reccomend the ark brand.
stim toys! they are really good for redirecting stims that are harmful like picking or biting, hair pulling, or stims that are disruptive or interfering with what you need to be doing like running around, jumping or crashing, spinning, big flops, THESE ARE ALL GREAT STIMS!! don’t discourage them AT all, just give them plenty of time to do those things safely! if your kid does alot of crashing or flopping, i recommend getting a crash pad if you can, becuase they can crash into it safely and avoid getting hurt. but if you can’t get one you can makeshift one with lots of pillows and blankets. but having some small fidgets to have can benefit with focus, regulation, sensory seeking, and more.
here are stim toys i LOVEEE!
tangle fidgets, infinity cubes, sensory bottles, plushies, monkey noodles, spiky rollers, silicone textured worry stones, squishies, pop its, wacky track, articulated slugs, and fidget cubes.
