my dumbest modern witcher hcs
-dara drinks mint chocolate milk.
-aiden is the real estate agent and lambert is the designer on love it or list it. they pretend to hate each other but every time the camera cuts they smooch.
-geralt is an app designer. but they're all horse game apps.
-ciri dyed her hair with kool aid when she was 7. instead of stopping her, lambert joined her.
-lambert invented the macarena but jaskier took credit for it
-eskel keeps his bread in the fridge. geralt hates this and always tries to put it in the cabinet. they have almost gotten divorced over this at least 3 times.
-vesemir bought la croix once accidentally. geralt now drinks it exclusively.
-yennefer only knows how to make mac and cheese. but it is very good.
-aiden went on a health food kick for 3 months. lambert got really pissed at him but then it was revealed that aiden only did this to get back at lambert for buying oat milk once (1) time
-lambert puts ketchup on everything. much to geralts horror, cirri also did for an entire year when she was 4. he still hasn't forgiven lambert for this.
-eskel worked at a lush store in college. he can identify pretty much any scent and geralt and lambert have tried to stump him on many occasions. he also always smells very good.
-geralt wears axe. he claims its just to piss eskel off but he secretly likes it.
-dara has an etsy shop where they sell hats that they've knitted. eskel has bought three.
-jaskier works at starbucks. he sticks the stickers over the logos on the cups so that people can't take their aesthetic pictures.
-yennefer is the ceo of a colored contact lens company. no one knows what her actual eye color is.
-ciri has 27 houseplants in her dorm. 26 of them are dead.
-lambert is a spokesperson for red bull. aiden is a spokes person for monster. one time they combined them and drank it during an episode of love it or list it. that episode did not get aired.
-renfri knows everything there is to know about whiskey. she is not allowed to be left alone with aiden and lambert because they will start mixing whiskey with energy drinks.
-aiden is on a first name basis with the people who work at urgent care
-triss is a pharmacist. every time she puts on her lab coat she whispers that she is one step closer to taking over the trip state area. surprisingly, no one gets this reference except vesemir.
-yennefer tried to make her own wine when she was in college. it tasted really bad. she still has a few bottles and gives them to guests that she doesn't like.
-dara once ate a gummy worm off the floor of their math class for extra credit.
-renfri took latin in high school. when she is mad she says random latin words under her breath. everyone assumes they are curse words but its really just stuff about farms cause that's all she learned.
-vesemir is not allowed to go into any store that sells kitchen supplies unsupervised because he will spend hours trying out all the gadgets. geralt, eskel and lambert play rock paper scissors to decide who accompanies him.
-triss only chews cinnamon gum
-geralt is allergic to avocado. he does not care.
