#replaying conversations

[tinsnip]

[B]eating yourself over the head again and again with a terrible replay of a conversation that didn’t go the way you wanted it to, that is self-hate and it’s helpful to just to say that and say hey, that’s self-hate. And when, I mean, I barely replay conversations but if I do, that’s what I’ll say, I’ll say, “Hey, this is self-hate. I don’t need to do this anymore,” or “I don’t do this,” or “That’s not helpful,” and I’ll just say that out loud like, “Whoa. Whoa. That’s not helpful.” And I’ve build this up, this pattern enough up to challenge that self-hate so then it doesn’t keep going, I’ll say, “Wait a minute, that’s not helpful. I don’t need to do that. I don’t do that,” and it’s an identity statement for me it’s like “Hey, I don’t do that. That’s not how I grow. That’s not how I learn. That’s not how I treat myself. I have more respect for myself than that.”

[sandytidereadings]

Sometimes it is not an obviously cruel comment that stays with you.

It is the ambiguous one.

The joke that did not feel like a joke. The brief reply that seemed colder than usual. The sentence you keep replaying because you still cannot tell whether you were criticized, rejected, or simply caught at a vulnerable moment.

In my new article, I look at how to separate what someone actually said from the meaning your mind added afterward, along with a sign-by-sign guide to why certain comments may be harder to release.

You do not have to decide that you are “too sensitive” just because a few words affected you.

When One Comment Keeps Replaying in Your Mind | Sandy Tide Readings

The other person may have forgotten the conversation already. Meanwhile, you are still thinking about it on the way home. It comes back whil