Nov 12, 2019
i was gonna say, after the selfie post, that i always thought you were a lot older - but you're 31? when i saw that pic i thought you were like 23 or so :")
I moisturize
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i was gonna say, after the selfie post, that i always thought you were a lot older - but you're 31? when i saw that pic i thought you were like 23 or so :")
I moisturize
ohh well if i can request more, maybe some angsty jasper hc's? after breaking dawn?
he wasn’t sure exactly what he had been expecting of their run-in with the volturi
a fight certainly, maybe some casualties
the fact that the entirety of his family and alice, most significantly of all, were unharmed should have thrilled him
but he just felt empty and though his body was not designed to feel so; tired
he tried desperately to absorb the happiness that the others felt and use it propel himself forward
but it was no use
bella was so full of joy it was almost painful and she was excited by the most mundane things like seeing edward and renesmee playing together or watching her own skin sparkle in the sunlight
it was too much
edward was the same, bella’s transformation had been so easy
too easy in jasper’s opinion
and he finally had the life he had always dreamed of
it wasn’t fair
alice begged him to tell her what was wrong
she had seen him leaving in a blurred vision but she couldn’t see herself with him
was he going to leave her behind?
jasper didn’t know
the reason the vision was so blurred because he truly hadn’t made up his mind
he knew he didn’t belong with the cullens, not in the same way that alice did or even the way that bella did although she was the newest
he knew he’d have to leave and figure everything that was going on inside of him out somewhere else
but he didn’t know whether he wanted alice to come with him
he hadn’t even decided to leave on the day that he did, his feet just started moving towards the front door when everyone else was occupied elsewhere
rosalie and bella were giving renesmee a bath, giggling in delight whenever the child blew a bubble in the soap or began singing a silly little song
unbearable amounts of joy
edward and emmett were talking to carlisle, all three of them deep in a fascinating discussion that lit up their passions and made them want to keep talking forever
alice had gone hunting, hurt and angered by jasper’s foul mood
would he ever see her again?
he was glad that edward was so caught up with carlisle and emmett, it meant he wasn’t paying attention to the minds in the rest of the household
jasper’s hand rested on the front door and he began to turn the handle
“jazz?” a soft voice called out from behind him
he turned and saw esme sitting on the stairs, her kind face warped with worry
“hi esme.” he croaked guiltily
“where are you going?”
“just out… i need a little headspace.”
she smiled knowingly. “and some time away from all of us?”
“how did you-…”
“i might not actually be your mother jasper, but i can tell when one of my children is upset. something’s been bothering you for weeks. won’t you tell me what it is?”
“i can’t,” he whispered. “you’ll think me a monster.”
“that’s quite unlikely… please?” she patted the space next to her in such a way that jasper knew it wasn’t really a question
he sank down beside her and sat stonily for several minutes
finally, he plucked up the courage
“everyone is so happy.”
“yes. does that bother you?”
jasper nodded. “i don’t know why it does… and i know it shouldn’t. i don’t want it to but-…”
“i understand. everyone is happy and you feel like you should be as happy as they are but you aren’t so you think there’s something wrong with you.”
“exactly… how did you know?”
“i felt like that once… a long time ago. before all of this.” she gestured to the air around them, but jasper knew she meant her life as a vampire
“what did you do?” he asked her, though he feared he already knew the answer
“i made a mistake. i blamed myself for the way i felt and i tried to punish myself… if it hadn’t been for carlisle i would have lost everything instead of gaining all of this.”
jasper rolled his eyes. “you think i’m depressed?”
“i know you are, darling. and i know that you think leaving will make it easier, but it won’t. it’ll follow you. it’ll hunt you down until you can’t handle it anymore. then you’ll make a mistake.”
“maybe it would be for the best.”
“i doubt alice would agree with you there.” esme said firmly and jasper froze
alice
his alice
alice alice alice
how could he have been so selfish
if he were to go, who would look after her?
who would protect her?
“esme, what do i do?”
“you have to figure it out for yourself, darling. but the first step is never running away. stay here, with your family, with alice, with the people that love you most in the world. let us help you through this. please?”
this time it was a question
jasper nodded tentatively and esme exhaled rapidly, as though she had been holding her breath for weeks
maybe she had been
she wrapped her arm around him and jasper lowered his head onto her shoulder and closed his eyes
she may not have been his biological mother, but she was his real mother without a shadow of a doubt
ohh i finally got bit by the VC bug again and watched the movies (i know i know theyre not like the books but QotD made me feel things) and now I'm finally gonna try getting through Louis whining again :P
*~wELCOME BACk~* to this Filthy Mess of Dysfunctional Vampires!
I think a lot of ppl are being bitten by the VC bug these days, with movie!QOTD and IWTV on netflix (I think they’re both still up), the new book was only put out ~3 months ago, there’s still talk about the VC TV series… I’ve seen a fantastic avalanche in fanworks over the past year, I can’t keep up with it. It’s so good to have fresh blood in the fandom! And old blood coming back up, too! <– that sounds gross out of context, you all know what I mean, blood coming up in a good way, not in a medical emergency kind of way...
As for Louis whining…
He’s having multiple existential crises! His human morality and religious background are fighting his vampire nature! He has plenty to whine about… But yeah, it is good to see him get over that stuff, for the most part, and the crazy stuff starts happening in canon… altho really some relief is desperately needed, these last few books were… just… beyond cracky. Cracktacular.
who made your icon? it's really nice
oh, thank you!! i made it myself, along with several others here. that’s nice to hear because i’ve recently fallen out of love with it (is it too dark?? i think it’s too dark idk), but maybe i’ll keep it a while longer now :’)
I was wondering if I could get a HP ship as well? I'm 18 an a INFP Hufflepuff (an introverted dreamer with a kind heart). I love dragons, elves and roleplaying (mostly d&d). I'm quite small (5'2) and have brown hair. Oh, I'm also bi!
I ship you with Newt Scamander!
Newt was taken by your kindness for the house elves in Hogwarts as well as your unique interest in dragons. Your dates were unusual, often spent roaming the castle for strange creatures or roaming the Forbidden Forest. You two were both kind, and others often called you Mom and Dad as a joke.
i was wondering if you could write a bit about Benjamin and Jacob falling in love? (If you saw that gifset btw, it made me ship them, if you don't thats okay and any jasper hc will do haha)
omg i’ve never considered this pairing before but i kind of love it !! (way better than the breaking dawn ending that we got !!) i’ve never written them before though so i hope this is okay even though i know it’s not super lovey dove (let me know if you want more?) thank you for your request!!
his breathing was coming short aggravated pants as he curled himself up against the tree trunk and clutched his arm
“should you not ask carlisle to look at that?” benjamin called out as he approached, stopping a few feet away so as not to annoy jacob
he would wait until he was invited to sit down beside him
jake winced but shook his head. “it’s almost healed already. no point. he’s just going to have to break it again to set it properly.”
“amazing.” benjamin said, fascinated. “your healing powers are surely unparalleled.”
jake shrugged. “it’s alright sometimes. what are you doing over here. bella sends me away whenever i bleed so i don’t upset you all.”
“i’m trying to get better at resisting.” benjamin smirked, taking another step forward to illuminate the point. “besides, it smells like blood, yes, but a wolf’s blood is not quite as appealing as a human’s.”
jake snorted. “sorry to disappoint.”
benjamin smiled hesitantly and then lifted his hands, creating some droplets of water which trickled down his dark forearms. “may i?”
jake nodded tentatively and shifted his weight on the tree trunk, moving over for benjamin to settle himself beside him benjamin summoned a trickle of water and poured it from his cupped hands onto jacob’s shoulder and used his fingers to gently clean the dried blood away
jake sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the tree trunk. “that feels nice.”
“the water?”
“no the-… the coolness… from your hands.”
“oh… it helps with the pain?”
“yes.” jake responded begrudgingly, before wincing again as he readjusted himself, staying close enough for benjamin to keep his hands on his hot arm
“it must be very difficult to be what you are.” benjamin noted quietly before he could stop himself
“it’s easier than some things.” jake snapped, his eyes flashing open again. “harder than others.”
benjamin rolled his eyes. “i was not making a snide comment about werewolf-ism, or whatever you would call it. but the transformation, i understand it’s driven by emotions?”
“usually.” jake nodded. “i can choose to phase but it’s not as easy and it takes a lot of concentration. it’s not usually a choice.”
“i would find that a difficult cross to bear.”
jake furrowed his brow. “are you not a slave to your body too?” he asked genuinely. “bella said… you have to follow certain urges.”
“we do…” benjamin conceded reluctantly. “but staying with the cullens and seeing the way they hunt, i’m wondering if everything i’ve been told is not necessarily the whole truth. i think maybe it is possible to ignore those urges, to a certain extent, and live more peacefully.”
“they’d like that. and hey, as long as you don’t go after any wolves, i suppose i’m okay with it too.”
benjamin grinned. “preferable to humans?”
“of course.”
“are you still in pain?”
“it’s not as bad now, but it will be when carlisle gets his hands on me. you-… you should stay close. just in case.”
“i’ll be here for as long as you want me to be.”
jake didn’t have the guts to tell him he thought he might never have the urge to tell him to go
but for now he was content just to sit, with benjamin’s cool hands on his arm, watching the way he made the leaves rustle and the grass tilt towards him
as though the universe really did revolve around the two of them
ya know in the nine years i've been a twilight fan i've never read midnight sun. yesterday i started reading it and god god god what a fantastic amazing shitpost book that is :0 Its like all of tumblrs characterization of edward come to life and i love how much of a dork he is
hahaha i feel u !! i hadn’t read it until a few months ago and like obviously i loved it bc it gives me my twilight nostalgia feels but it also does read like a pretty basic fanfic !!
hiyah!! do you have some sources to learn middelnederlands? i have one course in my bookcase, but i mean. i always have money to burn :P
I had a class that was mainly about Middle Dutch last year and I checked and my professor actually listed some books (they’re all in Dutch though, I don’t know if that’s a problem for you?) so here goes:
M. Hogenhout-Mulder: Cursus Middelnederlands (2008, Groningen: Wolters: Noordhoff)
A. de Korne & T. Rinkel: Cursus Zestiende- en Zeventiendeëeuws Nederlands. (1987, Groningen: Wolters-Noordhoff)
M. Mooijaart & M. Van der Wal: Nederlands van Middeleeuwen tot Gouden Eeuw. Cursus Middelnederlands en Vroegnieuwnederlands (2011, Nijmegen: Vantilt).
R. Willemyns & J. Goossens: Het niet-literaire Middelnederlands (1979, Assen: Van Gorcum).
Digital source: http://www.middelnederlandsdigitaal.ugent.be/ (an online course by my university apparently?? why did I not know about this??)
She also listed tons of historical dictionaries, grammars and text editions if you’re interested in those?