Could you write about the sweetheart grips? Soldiers in ww2 used to put photos of their lovers on the grips of their guns and I think that would be cute with Jason.
Eye for An Eye
Summary: Jason keeps a photo of you in his gun to keep you close to him, even in his hardest moments. (Jason Todd x reader)
Word Count: 2.7K
Notes: dear anon I really, really wanted to make this sweet. But then I got an angst idea and-
I tried to do it justice without too many tears. Forehead kisses for you because as soon as you sent this in I legit thought about this idea for like three days straight I fell in love with the concept. I might use it again for other Jason fics you got me hooked (I was a MASSIVE military history nerd). Warnings for description of violence and injury, character death, some choppy writing. Back onto my angst train, I'm so sorry y'all (I'll write this concept sweeter sometime, I SWEAR).
ALSO HAPPY 100 POSTS. It's crazy when I remember I'm still a baby blog. <3
Enjoy~!
RiRi xoxo <3
━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Bruce had never been one for guns, and while Jason was Robin, he hadn't either.
He didn't consider himself a particularly violent child or had any real craving to use weapons. After all, he never really hit anyone who didn't deserve it, and he got great satisfaction of getting back at people who thought they could hurt innocent civilians just because they were bigger and older than him.
That was until he was taken by Joker and showed just how much hurt someone older and bigger than could inflict.
April 27th, the date that the Joker killed Jason Todd.
Now, he couldn’t imagine his hands without the comforting grip of his pistol. The grips were designed just for him, slotting into the contours of his fingers and worn away in the areas he instinctually rubbed. They were wide so they sat snug in his large palms, with a coarse texture in the areas he habitually flexed. The grip allowed it to stick to his gloves for a steadier shot while it would simply irritate anyone else who tried to hold them.
Everyone knew that those guns were Jasons, but nothing said it quite like the new addition of the faded photo tucked into the grips. The colt's had originally come with wooden handgrips, which were quickly removed while he made his modifications.
"You know the Bat isn't gonna be happy with you getting another set of guns." Dick calls out, approaching his worktable in the cave. Jason just grunts at him over his shoulder, making sure he keeps the screws where he can see them.
"Bruce can honestly suck it up." he huffs, the mention of the Bat souring his demeanour immediately. Jason had wanted to do this in his apartment for this exact same reason. He knew Stephanie would annoy him with questions if she caught sight of him, and that Tim would interject constantly with 'improvements' he deemed necessary. Duke he could deal with, and Cass would leave him well enough alone.
Dick and Damian just managed to piss him off simply existing sometimes.
Mostly when he was already in a bad mood.
His older brother trots down the stairs, a frown forming on his face as he puts his hands on his hips to observe.
"Quiet." Jason mumbles flatly, knowing the older vigilante was giving him a disapproving stare. Dick ignores him, eyeing the photo tucked up near his water bottle.
"Jason," he says, voice a warning tone.
"I said quiet." he cuts off, wiping the area down with a damp cloth. Dick just sighs behind him as Jason gingerly picks up the photo, rubbing his calloused thumbs over it. Dick wants to say something as he eyes the photo but can't bring himself to speak above the block in his chest. He watches the tension ease from his brother’s shoulders, the muscles that had been stiffly held by his ears for weeks. The scowl he wore softened slightly, and he could actually hear him exhale for once instead of wondering if his chest actually was moving or not. Instead, Dick sighs in reluctance, giving in. Dick watches him with sad eyes, clapping a hand on his shoulder with a slight squeeze. "Don't forget to, you know," he leans forward slightly and draws a circle with his finger on a certain point of the photo. Jason's face ripples with a flash of pain, but he watches his younger brother grit his teeth and nod.
"Look after yourself, Jay." he murmurs, pulling back. "Don't do anything stupid."
Jason waits a little bit before turning back the photo, ensuring that Dick had left the cave. A still silence settled over the dim space once more. It didn't help the hum in his head, making his fingers and muscles shake, the white noise refusing to settle in his conscious. He gently drew on the photo of you with pencil, tracing the shape that he needed for the grip and ensuring that you weren't cut out by accident.
It was a favourite photo of his, taken at one of Bruce's galas. He hadn't wanted to go, hardly showing to the events in the first place. "Full of rich idiots trying to get even richer." he had told you, tossing a look over his shoulder to you. You were standing at the door, holding the invite that had been slipped through the mail slot. You waved the thick cardstock, a small smile on your face. "Aw, but I was kinda looking forward to going." you say, looking over the details. "I think it'll be fun."
"The only one who thinks those things are fun are Dick and Steph if she's around. Tim will get bored and probably turn into a loan shark if left unattended too long. So yeah, fun." he grumbled.
"What about Dami?"
Her turns around, eyebrows raised.
"I’m sorry?" he asks. "When did we start calling the demon child, Dami? We're on nickname level now?"
He hates how his heart flutters in his chest when he hears you laugh, melting away his annoyance.
"He's sweet, just a little prickly. like you." you grin, coming to wrap your arms around his neck, pecking him on the lips.
"Yeah, he's sweet to you, he's a little shit to everyone else." he grumbles.
"Sounds like someone else I know." you tease.
He can't help but grin, sighing out through his nose softly. "Fine. we can go." he grumbles, knowing he won’t be able to stay mad at you for long.
The photo he traces was from that night, you tucked into his side. You're staring at the camera with a sparkle in your eye, lips pulled back into a wide grin. You're wearing black to fit the theme of the ball, with red accents, matching him. He’s got his arm around your shoulder, taking the photo with you pressed up against him. He thinks you look stunning, eyes twinkling at him from the page.
He takes the exacto knife and gently runs it over the image, cutting himself out so that he can focus on you. The piece pops free, and he trims the edges. His heart thrums as he slides you onto the handle, fluttering with a tame delight.
"Don't forget to, you know..."
Dick’s voice floats back into his mind, and the corners of his lips twitch downwards once more. Reluctantly he pulls your photo from the handle and reaches for a screwdriver to his left, bringing it above the paper. He feels like he's about to stab you, the way the metal tip hovers above the image smiling back at him.
But he does it, heart clenching with each scrape across your eyes, slowly erasing the twinkle he loved so much. There's something sickening about the feeling of scratching your face out, the gritty sound of the photo tearing and leaving white streaks in its wake making his stomach flip. Finally, it's done, stark white lines blotting out your gaze. All that's left is the upturn of your lips, and the soft smile you wore.
With a heavy sigh Jason slots it back onto the handle, placing the clear protector over you. At least nothing could damage you more than he already had. He told himself it was for the better, as he cleaned his hands on a nearby rag and bit the inside of his cheek. You weren't the most supportive of his guns, but you liked that they kept him safe. You had had a few conversations with him about it but never an argument. He wanted to keep you close, but he knew he wasn't going to be an idiot about it. He wanted to protect you, hide your identity from any eagle-eyed thugs.
"Besides," he thought to himself. "Don't want em seeing what I'm about to do."
Maybe it was for the best that he covered your face for this.
His body hums with adrenaline, still alone in the Batcave. With scarred fingers he screws the cover onto the grip, clear cover sitting flush and keeping your photo secure. Jasons tosses it a few times in his hand, getting used to the feeling of the new colt pistols and making sure you weren't going to shake loose. When he was content, he looked over his shoulder, scanning the shadows for movement.
He knew that Bruce would condemn his actions, he didn’t even need to ask on that front. Dick would be understanding but try to hold him back, and Tim would try to talk him out of it. The only person he felt that silently agreed with him was Damian, the pair of them fostering an unlikely bond in the last few weeks.
Everyone in the manor knew what Jason was thinking.
What Jason was doing spending his nights in the Batcave, the one place he had grown to hate ever since coming back.
What he contemplated as he haunted the halls of the manor, the place he often traded in for the comfort of his downtown apartment.
Everyone knew what Jason was going to do tonight, yet none of them were game enough to say it out loud or stop him.
Therefore, Jason took their silence as compliance because he knew somewhere deep down, they wanted him to do it.
Or was he deluding himself?
He shook the thought from his head, holstering the newly decorated pistol. He was already dressed and strapped for this mission, no turning back now. With heavy hands he donned his helmet, taking a deep breath as he pushed Jason aside to become Red Hood. The air was still, as if the Batcave was filled with spirits watching him in silence as he mounted the bike and pressed the key for the garage door, speeding out.
He was already haunted by too many ghosts.
The streets of Gotham were relatively quiet, the usual alleys he stalked devoid of the thugs he would have expected. It seemed that even the city was holding its breath, civilians tucked safely inside. He knew where he was going.
He had been receiving mocking invites in the mail for the last week, notes attached to crime scenes in a gory fashion just to mock him. So really, it was no surprise when he arrived at Gotham cemetery, parking outside and not even bothering to kill the engine. He wasn’t going to be long anyways.
Just past the cemetery was the crumbling shell of Arkham, ivy covering the brickwork and roof caving in. His boots crushed broken panes of glass as he entered the decaying mental hospital, leaves scattered through the building from wrinkled trees that had cracked through the floors. He slowly made his way to the upper floor, where he had seen the lights.
Instinctually he reached for his gun, and he felt his heart calm sliding his hand over your picture secured into his sweetheart grip. He hadn't felt this anxious fighting in a while, unused to the way that his pulse thudded against his neck or the dryness that crept into his mouth. The corridor felt like it stretched on forever, making his vision swim trying to reach the light at the end.
Candlelight flickered weakly at the end of the hall, luring him in like a moth. As he stepped in he took note of it, hand tightening. Jason knew he was going to play with him, taunt and torture him. The images of you taped up on the peeling walls were enough. Photos that spanned back months, photos of you on dates, at work, in his car, in your apartment, blurry photos of you and him in his bed. His thumb instinctually placed itself over your eyes, despite them already being scratched out.
He didn't need you seeing the messy patchwork of your life.
Jason didn't even mind the photos, knowing the sadist would be doing something like that. What he did mind though were the images of you from three weeks ago, the same images that Dick had refused to let him see, that Tim wiped off the Batcomputer hard drive and Babs had removed from the GCPD database. The ones displaying the blood, the bone, the bruising.
Your eyes, unseeing.
Everything that was so familiar to him, but so foreign on you.
Everything that that one curved piece of metal had caused way back when, stained a dark brown. The same piece of metal that was sitting in the middle of the desk at the centre of the crude shrine, drying with a fresher coat of oxidised red.
He felt his heart rise to his throat, but he wasn’t sure if it was bile in his throat or the taste of blood from his bitten lip. His grip turned white, muscles flexing under the skin and pressing unnaturally hard. He felt the green tinged mania inside him rear its head, threatening to take over his mind and act purely on instinct. The Lazarus pit clawed and pulled at his soul harder that it had in years, gasping at him like a beggar, screaming for a shred of violence to feed it.
He knew the game. He knew all of this was to provoke him, try to get Jason to release the rage inside him. The monster wanted to see him squirm, see him struggle to keep himself in check. He wanted to watch Jason Todd fight against the Red Hood, watch the Bats moral code play out on his face.
Well, Jason wasn't Batman. He wasn't Bruce.
As soon as a skinny figure moved from the shadows to his right, his pistol was out in a flash. His free hand ripped the mask from his face, jaw tight and eyebrows furrowed, but he felt more relaxed than he had been in ages.
He was no Batman. He was Jason Todd.
And Jason was going to do the one thing Bruce had always been too much of a coward to do.
With one crisp bang the clown couldn’t get a single word out before he was splayed on the floor. As Jason stepped over the body he regarded it apathetically, barely biting down the urge to step on it. The bastards’ lips were pulled back in a wide smile, even in death. Maybe he had expected Jason to do this, maybe it was his last hurrah as an asshole, but Jason didn't care.
He didn’t even feel scared at the idea of the aftermath as a retraced his steps out of the abandoned building, mounting his still-running bike.
There hadn't been a single gloat before the gun cracked through the night, not a single joke or pun or taunt to leave the devil’s mouth. Bruce might have entertained it, let him play it out, but not Jason.
For Jason, everything that needed to be said had been said in actions.
The air was strangely cool, devoid of the humidity that nomrally hung in the streets. The city itself seemed to be sighing, taking a breath like the chord holding the city on a leash had been cut. He relished the feeling of it on his skin, the cracks in his suit letting the breeze run across his knuckles and where his mask met his neck. He imagined the cool fingers were you, cradling his face and whispering for him to take a rest, and he let his eyes flutter closed briefly.
As he hit a red light he took a pause, reaching his hand down to pat where you were, tucked tightly under his hip. He didn't care what the reaction was going to be when he reached the manor, or the screaming match that was likely going to destroy what was left of his relationship with his pseudo father. All that matters is that he had done right by you, that he had done what he wished someone had done for him.
April 17th, the night Jason Todd killed the Joker.
Hi! Idk if you’re taking requests (I like to call those suggestions), but I’m OBSESSED with your writing. I absolutely loved the voicemail fic. But it’s got me thinking about the other side! What would happen if Leon got that voicemail from the reader? I’d be so curious to see how you wrote it. Keep up the awesome work!
Attachments
Summary: When you get in over your head, the last thing you can bring yourself to do is say goodbye. (Death Island! Leon x reader)
based as an alternate universe from this fic: here!
Word Count: 2.2K
Notes: my dear dear anon, thank you for posting this and I extend that hope that you are around to see this. Sorry for the wait! I actually had this just sitting here despite finishing it earlier today, I just forgot to proof read it. Warning for description of injuries, angst, mentions of death. I was inspired by Mia from resi 7, so that's the scenario I played with for this fic.
But regardless, thank you so much for your words anon I can't even describe how giddy I am that people like my work that much, and I reread everyone's comments when I need motivation.
Thanks for everyone sticking around with my wild posting, I promise I still exist here. <3
RiRi xx
━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You and Leon had a pact.
You weren't the same agents that you both once were, running through an infested rural town in Spain. Especially after everything that had happened in China, and the strain that threatened to break you two apart when Ada reappeared. It took counselling and effort, long nights and early morning arguments with one of you hitting their head against the wall.
But you did it.
The dauntless task had been completed, and you had successfully managed to leave that life behind you. Well Leon had at least. There had been nothing more rewarding than seeing the hard lines of your husband soften, the crinkles in his eyes smooth out like the worry lines on his forehead. He'd filled out a little bit too, softening up now that there wasn't a team of trainers hounding him to stay in peak physical performance. Now he used the home gym when he wanted to and dedicated his time heavy lifting in the garden or fixing his bike in the back shed. Two years since being an agent, and domestic life was looking good on him.
You, however, were a liar.
You went for weeklong 'business meetings' in the next town over, claiming that the numbers on your laptop were finance spreadsheets when in reality they were government secrets. You had urged and begged Leon to quit, without leaving the force yourself, and now you were paying the consequences.
You hiss as you drag yourself to the laptop, a hand pressed to your side as you feel the gooey mess there. The ship you're on groans and tilts to the side, the emptiness eerie for a vessel of this size. Sweat beads your forehead and it's hard to breathe, fingers shaky and smearing black ooze across the keycaps as you type in your password. You fat finger in Leon's email address, before pressing the button, record, in the upper left.
"Hey, honey." you grit out, trying to smile at the white light at the top of the computer. "Hope you remembered to take the bins out on Friday."
You're aware that you look a mess, skin ashy and lips cracked. There's a gash on your forehead sticking your hair to your scalp, and you do your best to wipe it away with the back of your hand.
"I'm sure you have a lot of questions," you breathe out shakily. "And before you say anything, I'm sorry." It seems harder to get the words out, throat closing up. "I'm so, so sorry."
You take a deep breath and lean forward, a wave of dizziness making you rest your head on the edge of the table. Right now, you felt like the biggest idiot in the world, but it was hard to focus on your self-pity and fear of impending death when your blood was on fire. "I shouldn't have lied to you." you grit out, eyes desperately searching the camera as if you would be able to see Leon looking back at you.
You could almost image what he would look like staring back at you, and the image of it is enough to make you grateful this wasn't live. The sad, quiet heartbreak that would ripple across those blue eyes, he downturn of his mouth and the way he took that half breath in when he was surprised. The pain would be held in the way he clenched his fists, the way that his throat bobbed when he was angry, till the person left was the old shell of his rookie self-losing yet another person he cared about.
"I know I should have told you, but this was going to be the last job I swear." you choke out, eyes burning behind your eyelids. the pain in your side grows worse, a sickening squirming sensation growing. "I was going to quit for real. I didn't quit because I wanted some more retirement money for us, buy us a place in the countryside where you can ride your bike on the backroads." your hands shake as you try to wipe your face, smearing black across your cheek. "This was supposed to be easy, just escort the cargo but-" you cut yourself off with a defeated sob. "It went sideways. it went wrong, it's all gone wrong, I just wish-" you sniffle, staring into the tiny computer camera. "I just wish I could take it all back. I just want to come home." you roughly scratch at your eyes, taking a deep breath.
"This is my fault, not yours." you say after a few heaving breaths, tone level. "So don't blame yourself. I made you quit the force; I chose to stay. This would have happened whether you stayed an agent or not. So don't blame yourself, okay?" your voice breaks. the ship groans, tilting heavily to the side and you grip the table to try and stay steady.
"I know you still blame yourself about Marvin." you croak out, tears now making it down your cheeks. "Don’t blame yourself for me too."
God, you missed Leon. Your body shook, wanting nothing for this to be a bad dream. That you weren't giving him a front row seat to what was your inevitable death, the decay and rot that was crawling over your skin like a film. You knew you should turn off the camera, to save him the pain, but you couldn’t.
You were scared, and right now all you wanted was your husband.
"God, baby I'm so sorry." you sob into your hands, unable to keep it together the more you thought it through. The way he looked in his suit at the wedding, the twinkle in his eye at the altar. The grin he wore when you accepted his proposal, the peaceful look on his face as he slept on your honeymoon, stress free. The warmth of his hands when he took the dry dishes from you, the check in texts he'd send you when you went away for work.
"I'm so sorry. I want to come home. I want to come home, I don't want to be here." you cry, the pain wracking your body making it hard to think straight and not devolve into panic. "But don't come here." you choke out. "Do not come here. If you get this, stay away." you plead, voice a wheeze as you grip the sides of the computer screen.
"I love you," you say shakily as the ship groans, throwing you off balance. "I love you forever, just like I promised back in Spain. No matter what. Third drawer in the closet, there's a binder with all my information, it's got my will there. There's a trust there with enough money for you to move, a-and there's receipts for that bike you always wanted. It was going to arrive for your birthday." you smile through your tears, rushing out all the information you can.
"I'm getting so tired Leon," you sigh out, fat tears flicking off your eyelashes as they flutter. "I think I'm going to have to end this here, honey. Stay away, stay home, stay safe." you plead, voice breaking. "Stay the man I love with all my heart. You're so, so strong Leon. You've survived so much, I'm sorry I couldn't come back home." you whisper, black creeping into your vision.
On another thought, that could just be the rot.
"I want lilies for my flowers." you whisper out, legs buckling. "And an open tab. throw a party for me, won't you?" you manage a weak, shaky smile at the camera, pinprick of light flashing at you.
"I'll say hi to Luis for you when I see him."
with trembling fingers and hazy vision, you type in the subject line, not caring about mistakes. it take a few seconds for the video to upload but as soon as the blue circle is complete you click send, the computer whooshing softly. the effort of keeping yourself upright on the rotting ship is too much now that you had done your job, sending you crashing to the floor, eyes closing before you could see the message pop up:
email sent.
Leon groaned hearing the laptop chime from the other side of the living room. He had been out with Chris the night before, the older man requiring his help and thoughts on a particular situation. He knew that you'd kill him if you knew that he went out not for drinks but to talk bioterrorism with the head of the BSAA. Their discussion had drawn deep into the night as Chris laid it out.
Genetic altering had resulted in a new type of bioweapon, which did little to surprise Leon. 'Where there's a will, there's a way' he thought often, and when it came to bioterrorists and ego inflated scientists it always seemed to ring true. The BSAA was attempting to track it down, after it went dark on the radar during transportation.
"Not interested." he had waved it off, when Chris had dared to offer him a place on the team. "Told my spouse I was done with that." he said, and Chris had reluctantly backed off. It didn't mean he couldn’t help provide his two cents on it, so he spent the next few hours talking it over with Chris. Collapsing on the couch he had fallen asleep, unmoving until the chime just then. He groans, swinging his legs off the couch and rubbing his hands on his sweats, padding over to the computer.
He closes the tabs displaying bills and the calendar for when you were supposed to be getting back from New York. There, sitting in his inbox amongst the clutter of unread spam mail and pizza coupons, was an email from you. He frowns reading the subject line, eyebrows furrowing.
'Urfent plese readgt' - (1) attachment.
You were never one to make a spelling mistake, making his concern grow. There was no message, just a three-minute video attached. It took him a moment to open, but as soon as the media player launched, he felt his blood freeze. He was suddenly startling awake, like he had been thrown in an ice bath and electric shocked right after. The big pause symbol took up part of your face, but he studied you, the face he knew so well.
Your cheeks were sunken, eyes tired and frantic. Your hair was drenched like you'd been thrown in the ocean, sticking to you along the hair line.
Nothing could have prepared him for when he hit play.
Your voice was shaky and hoarse, eyes darting from the camera to behind you, like you were worried. It was too dark to tell where you were, only that the lights were off, and it looked abandoned. He felt like being sick the long the video went on, eyeing how a black webbish structure slowly crept across your skin. If you could feel it or had even taken notice, he couldn't tell.
Tears came to his own eyes as you sobbed your apology, and he wished he could reach through the screen and pulled you home when he saw you shaking. His fists were screwed up tightly on his legs, and the pressure in his chest felt like it was going to burst. With heavy breath he stared into the eyes of your recording, a shattering pain exploding through his chest.
This wasn't happening.
But it was.
When your voice crackled through the speaker, "I'll say hi to Luis when I see him," something inside him screamed. His head rang, and after a moment he realised he had been screaming, head in his hands. He felt like when he lost Marvin, when he lost Luis. It was a burning that sat in his chest and in his throat, and no matter how much he took in a deep breath he couldn't stop himself from making that sound. The pain rippled outwards from his chest, making it hard to breathe and his head dizzy.
Finally, after a few deep breaths he managed to stagger from the chair, stumbling for the stairs. He got his bearings back slowly, his feet feeling disconnected from his brain. Over and over again he played back each painful second of the video, stuck in his mind like a haunted loop. Leon must have been an evil, evil person in his past life if this is how he was being punished.
When he finally reached the banister, he began pulling himself up, legs shaky with adrenaline. Leon cursed himself. He should never have left the force. Never have stopped being your partner, should have made sure that you handed in that badge and gun to the DSO. He scaled the stairs two at a time to get to the bedroom, throwing open the closet drawer and digging into the built in on his side, instead of the drawer you had instructed him to. He hauls thick winter wear onto the floor, hands finding purchase on what he was looking for.
He pulls the box out and flips the lid, hand sliding back onto the pistol grip naturally and pulling it out. His jaw tightens as the image of your face in that video flickers in his mind's eye again, and he cocks the gun he had hidden from you, a little harder than he meant to.
It was a damn good thing he never actually left the force.
Hello, I was hoping you take requests. If you do, can I please request one with Nightwing where the reader is his best friend and she gets kidnapped by the Joker and is badly hurt and how he deals with it? Thank you very much!
I Told You So
Summary: Dick remembers the risks of befriending civilians when you disappear one day.
Word Count: 2.7K
Notes: Dear anon,
I hope that you still hang around my blog, and I'm so sorry this took so long to get to you after angstober. I had so many other ways to take the themes, but I opted for a more subtle approach. I hope it is close to what you were looking for. 💙
I'm working through my requests! I love getting these in my inbox so for everyone that has sent one, please know that I LOVE seeing these prompts and I plan to do all of them. Warnings for graphic descriptions of injuries and violence and a slightly shaky fic. Getting back into the swing of things! (Also want to say I went back through my blog and re-read every comment and reblog tags that people have left and I love that people love my work so much.)
Reblogging will summon Nightwing to be your Valentines this year! 💙💙💙
Love RiRi <3
━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Dick had told himself not to be friends with civilians way back when he had started being a vigilante. It had been a quiet sentence that he had uttered to himself in the depths of his mind, and one that was overshadowed by his personality at every moment from then. It was almost like a defunct rule that just sat there for the sake of playing on his conscious.
By nature, he was too outgoing, too eager to involve himself in the community and connect with the people that he fought for. He wanted to help the kids at the orphanage when he made trips with Bruce, he wanted to talk to those gathered around food trucks getting cheap meals because their apartments had been destroyed in last week’s bad clash with Scarecrow. He wanted that connection, which let him keep Dick Grayson away from the suit. The suit that called to him like a siren. If he wasn't careful, he'd end up just like Bruce, a shattered reflection unable to distinguish who was looking back at him at the end of the day. Another martyr who had sacrificed his soul and let the kevlar devour him wholly.
So, when he hung out with you, he was Dick. You reminded him that he was Dick Grayson, and the pressure that sat in his chest always eased. You had met when he took Haley in for her shots, a dimly lit vet clinic with underpaid staff and underfunded equipment.
"Sorry about that." you chuckle, head dipping down to nod at your own dog, who was pulling at the lead to get to Haley. Dick waved it off, laughing as he relaxed the lead in his hand. Haley ran circles around your golden labrador, tail wagging in excitement. Your hands brushed and fumbled with each other as you tried to awkwardly untangle the leads, pulling your dog’s apart when you could.
"Don't worry, Haley gets excited too." he smiles, crouching down to pet your own pup. He stares at Dick with black glossy eyes, tail waving back and forth as he tries to lick Dick's face, making him laugh. "What's the name?"
"Darty." you smile back, your companion turning his head back to look at you as he hears his name. "He's a good boy." you coo, rubbing his head. Dick scratches behind his ears before Haley gets jealous, nipping at the sleeves of his navy jacket with a whine.
"Ah, ah, gentle. I love you too." he laughs, a hand on each dog to keep them happy.
From then on you two had bonded over walks int he dog park and afternoon coffee while your canine friends played tug of war in front of your bench. It was hard to find people he considered friends, much less his best one. He was best friends with Wally still, and he was the person Dick went to when he was having troubles in his vigilante life. When he couldn’t take the stress of watching Bruce have another episode, something that was beginning to frequent more and more. He went to Wally when he needed favours called in, and he was stuck in bed with bruising so bad he looked like he’d picked a fight with a semi-truck (although Bane really felt like that at times). But with you, he could talk about things that annoyed him. He could complain about little things, like how the coffee shop on the corner near his apartment didn't taste the same now that they changed management, or the fact that the rain had brought even more potholes to the Gotham streets, making driving a nightmare. Sometimes Dick fell so deep into those conversations with you, wrapped up in the way that you laughed or nodded along, that some days he thought he himself was an ordinary civilian.
But there were times like these that the little sentence came back from the corner of his mind that he pushed it into.
Where it came taunting him in that sing song voice, saying 'I told you so'.
Where he was reminded why he had tried to make the rule against befriending citizens.
He had noticed when you didn't make the puppy play date on Thursday like usual, Haley sitting sadly like her owner as they both waited for their friends. He had sent a quick text, 'Are you ok??' but wrote it off that there was just a good chance that you were sick, considering the flu that had swept your workplace the week before.
So, the civilian in Dick gave it the benefit of the doubt.
The next day you still hadn't responded, despite Dick knowing that you didn't work the Fridays. He rolled over, checking his phone with blurry eyes to see no new messages on his notification centre. He had had a rough patrol the night before and his muscles ached from misjudging a rooftop and landing harshly, so he let himself sleep in. You would surely respond later when you had time, and if you really were sick then he knew you wouldn't be awake till past noon.
So, the civilian in Dick rolled back over and caught up on sleep from the night shift.
However, when Saturday hit, he got the notice from Bruce that he was needed. Dick had spent the day in increased worry, knocking at your door around lunchtime only to receive no answer. The road was bumpy as he drove the bike back to the manor, wheels hitting potholes too wide to avoid properly. His frown deepened when he finally made it back to the manor, spotting Jason's bike out the front too. He dismounted, shaking the light rain from his hair. The dusk was being quickly swallowed by Gotham's signature rain clouds, so he shoved his hands in his pockets and hurried inside, greeting Alfred on his way down to the cave.
The sentence popped up in the forefront of his mind as he took sight of everyone in the cave.
Bruce turned from the Bat computer, already in suit and cowl. Stephanie sat to his left; hip propped up against a table. Tim was suited up, still focused on the strings of numbers and texts flashing across the bat computer screen.
"Glad to see you could make it." Jason says gruffly, brushing past him. He was still in his riding gear, hair tousled from the helmet. Dick nods back, a flash of understanding passing through the two brothers.
"What's the situation?" he asks, coming to stand behind Tim's chair, next to Bruce.
"Mass kidnapping." Bruce says, eyes hard and trained on the computer screen.
"Culprit?"
"Joker." Jason fills in, voice distant as he changes on the other side of the room.
"It's pretty bad. Batman and I were investigating a disappearance, but it turns out there was a whole string prior. and now…" he says, tapping the space bar and the screen fills with faces.
"Now we've got twenty gone." Steph fills in, glancing sadly at the screen. "He's been playing a game, and we're losing."
Red crosses begin to flicker across some of the portraits floating in front of him, making him cringe. There were students, professors, and blue-collar workers. Some who seemed to work in an office, some who clearly worked outside. He scanned each face with an X, feeling the pain behind the implications. That's when he froze, and that's when that sentence came back stronger than ever.
I told you so.
He felt a slight tremor in his hand before he clenched it into a fist. His mouth was dry, guilt coursing through him. Maybe it was a rage, maybe it was a sadness. Dick honestly didn’t know how to untangle his emotions in this moment. He just knew that one of those faces up there was you, thankfully free from an X but there, nonetheless.
And the vigilante in Dick died a little inside.
"It’s not his MO." he says tensely. "Doesn't he want the attention of the Batman? It's not like him to do things in the background without announcing himself." he has to croak out, making Tim give him a curious side glance. His younger brother was always smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for.
"I think he's learnt how to self-entertain." Jason hums, appearing at his side with a sour expression. "He's gearing up for something big. Something to lord over the Bat."
"And we aren't going to let that happen." Bruce spoke up, voice stern. "Everyone here is to locate missing civilians while Red Robin and I track down Joker. We need to clear the field of potential casualties. Understood?"
Everyone nodded, but no one understood as painfully as Dick.
When the group broke up to get started, he called you again. It hurt twice as much knowing that the reason you weren't picking up is because that sick bastard had you somewhere. Because he had gotten too comfortable as a civilian that he failed you as a vigilante. If he hadn't given the benefit of the doubt, maybe you'd be here and safe. Maybe if he hadn't rolled over and gone back to sleep, he could have used that time trying to find you instead. If he had done his job, then none of this would have happened.
And maybe that would have been worth being consumed by the suit.
When he does find your signal, his heart nearly leaps from his chest. Everyone else had already entered the field, scouring buildings and known hideouts to just find anyone from the GPD missing persons list. Not Dick. Dick needed to get you back specifically. If there was any benefit to having a vigilante as a best friend, is that he would tear the city apart trying to find you. The downsides being that because of him you were lost in the first place. He sent the location to his phone and races from the manor, adrenaline making his head spin. He takes a car, not trusting himself to slow down on the corners enough to take the bike.
The GPS takes him to a building by the docks, normally active during the day but abandoned in the night. He parks a half block away as to not draw attention and slings his escrima sticks on his back, tugging them once to make sure that they were secure. He scales the shipping containers nearby and slinks out of sight of the security cameras, each muscle in his body primed to flex and twist on command. He balances on a high beam inside the main warehouse, pulling up his wrist where the red flashing dot of your phone blinked at him. He would probably have to buy you a new phone, considering the backdoor program he ran through your signal to track it made it virtually unusable.
He scanned the area, hairs on the back of his neck tingling at the lack of goons or suspiciously scarred individuals. With light feet he padded across the roofs of rusted shipping containers, feet as swift as his parents had taught and in the shadows like he had been trained. When he stood atop the rusted blue container in the left wing of the warehouse, his blue dot overlapped with the red.
He spun down, still glancing over his shoulder in case he was walking into a trap. The lock was newly purchased, indicating that you were indeed here. It popped open easily enough with the lock picks in his sleeve, the make and model a standard in many hardware stores. This could be easy, he could grab you, get you out of here and back into the apartment on the corner of fifth where you belonged-
it was you.
That's what he had to tell himself when the container door creaked open, and his flashlight sent a beam into the dark pit. He had seen bodies in the past, dead or dismembered or otherwise. Yet that didn't compare to the way that his stomach turned to stone in his abdomen just seeing you unconscious. HisHIHis feet thudded loudly as he raced towards you, gloved hands sliding down your bound arms to press against your wrist, his breathing as shallow as your pulse. He takes a deep breath and calms himself, cutting you from the chair you were tied to so he could cradle you in his arms and get a better look.
"I've got one at the docks, Wareson's shipping containers in Lower Gotham. They’re unconscious but alive." He speaks into his wrist, marking his channel as 'open' once more. It crackled to life soon after, Bruce's voice filtered through his earpiece.
"We've got a trace on a few others. Check for a calling card, Spoiler and Red Hood have found other hostages with codes attached, we might be able to get ahead of this." spoke the Bat, and Dick lowered you down gently to take a look.
His hands ghosted across your skin gently, so he didn't disturb any injuries, flashlight gripped in his teeth as he skimmed your clothes. Pulling a small square of cardboard from your blouse, he flipped the playing card over to reveal a bloodied joker and a string of numbers printed underneath.
"Sending an image now." He relayed, using his watch to take a photo and send it back to the cave. He shut his comm line off after that, his head reeling too much to focus in on the chatter from the rest of the team.
An injury to the right side of your head, against your temple. blunt force, left a cut on your hairline.
Your hair was normally a shade lighter than what it was right now.
Bruising around the throat, dark smears and indents in your skin. Evidence of friction marks.
Your necklaces never hurt you that way.
As he looked at you, your breath shallow, he felt that stone in his stomach grow hot. The way your eyelids were sealed shut with red crust, hair plastered to your head with the viscous liquid. Swelling around the lips that curved at him to smile or tell a joke. An arm that was folded the wrong way, the same arm that would tug his arm to hurry him up or reach out to his during sad parts in movies.
Right now, the vigilante Nightwing had failed you, but the one wearing the pain was the bent over form of civilian Dick Grayson.
His eyes tingled and burned, chest heaving before he knew it with scattered sobs. He calmed them down soon enough, the Bruce that lived in the back of his voice yelling at him to get it together, all while chanting over that same old sentence in tandem. 'I told you so. I told you so. I told you so.' The sadness didn't last long however, quickly being replaced with an anger that flushed the skin of his neck bright red. He lifted you up in his arms, beginning the slow walk back to the car so he didn't irritate your injuries. His steps echoed out in the silent warehouse, competing with the racing sound of his heartbeat. As he walked, he was so focused on counting the unsteady breaths you took that he didn’t notice the suit melding to his skin, consuming him with invisible teeth until the civilian part of Dick dissolved completely.
'I told you so.'
'I told you so.'
'I told you so.'
Dick wasn't made to be a civilian, despite how he wore their clothes and played the part of a happy townsperson. He concluded that you were bright enough to live the life of a civilian for both of you, revelling in the little moments of peace that his nighttime job had fought to preserve.
Dick was made to be a vigilante, Bruce turning his rage and anger at the world into a weapon, a tool to shape Gotham and carve out the parts that threatened the lives of innocent people.
Dick was about to show them just how well he had learned to wield that weapon.
oh my GOSH listen is so good ik you did it for angstober but do you think you’ll make a part 2??? i LOVE your writing and i LOVE a blubbering dick grayson
Listen is going on the long long list of fics I need to do a part 2 for, yes! I'm going to go back and do some much needed part 2's from last year (sorry for making y'all wait, my guilt is crazy) but it's def there!
As well as everyone who has sent in requests, I will be getting to those after angstober! I have some from LAST YEAR that came in that I never saw? Is that a tumblr glitch? (some veteran help me out here). I got the notif yesterday but it was dated wayyyyyy back to earlier this year but I hadnt ever seen it before.
Anyways, I will do some follow ups and won't leave you hanging forever (I hope).
Much love, and thank you so much for your support!
Not as of yet!
There's never been a call or an interest in me even having a taglist until this year, but if people would like a permanent tag list, consider this post a sign up sheet! I'll start collating one. For Angstober I'm running that as a different tag list, so if you only want Angstober updates- please comment on any Angstober fic to be added to this years tag list.
If you'd like to be included in a permanent list for ALL works (including this years Angstober), let me know here or via message. I'll take EOI's here and note them down if a permanent tag list is something that people would be interested in. Thank you for asking, and happy reading~!
Bae, Loves Me Not… whaaaaaa omg??? This made me feel things I might cry. Screaming cry throw up
Omgggg....If I'm being completely honest, I did NOT expect 'Loves Me Not' to do as well as it did. As always when writing there's a level of removal so I don't get the same impact (since I know what's going to happen afterall) but it's so fun seeing what really got under people's skin- it's always the ones I least expect! This happened last year with 'Just Like Him', which is one I was happy with, but I thought I could have written better or used the prompt differently. Nope! That one ended up a fan favourite. Funny how it works, huh?
Thank you so much for reading-crying-screaming-throwing-up over my work, it makes me so happy to hear it (if that doesn't make me seem like an awful person ahaha). Please stay tuned for the rest of this season and who knows, I might be able to outdo myself.
This also does mean I will eventually write a part 2 for this one (even though there's also so many from last year that need part 2's- I promise half of those are half done).
would dick accompany the reader to a club or is he more like on bodyguard duty
I feel like it would be a mix of both.
If it was a planned night off for the both of you he'd def try to have a good night himself, having a couple of drinks and dancing with you out in the crowd. Not to say he wouldn't be protective during that, alcohol still isn't enough to dull the vigilante senses. He'd most likely try to shield you from drunks that got a touch too close, or people who started encroaching uncomfortably in your shared space.
If it was a night out with your friends he'd be happy enough to just drive you there. Parking the car and turning to you in the passenger seat.
"you got your ID cards?"
"Yes, Dick."
"Got your phone?"
"Fully charged."
"Am I on-"
Yes, you are on speed dial."
With a quick peck on the cheek you exit the car, waving as you see your friends already in line. He can't help it though, the Iceberg Lounge is a pretty popular club.
If only he didn't have an issue with the owner.
If you did invite him out with your friend's he'd take you up the offer so he could play bodyguard, waving off a drink at the bar so he could nurse his glass of water instead. The excuse he uses is the designated driver (which he still is), but it's mostly so that he can pay full attention to everything around him, and that there is nothing stopping him picking you out of the crowd at a moments notice.
On nights that you call him, he's on full bodyguard duty. Doesn't matter if you're still sober, or shoes in your hand kind of drunk, no one's laying a hand on you. You called him in to get you out, so that's what he's going to do.
Sorry for the longer response, I liked how this cooked in my mind and I'm filing it away for later. <3
Loves me not broke ma heart first thing in the morning 💔😭
I hope when the second part comes out it heals those wounds 🙂↕️(but I can't make any promises, I just tend to make them sadder but I will try). Thank you so much for your support for this fic!
