Being a royal had been stifling, confining, painfully restrictive with its rigid rules. You hated how it had created a forced path for you, one that you knew straying from could bring possible public execution. Being a Luna was so totally different in almost every aspect. It had been liberating, new, a role that while supportive commanded respect. The village saw you as a person though, not some unspeakable figure who lived far above them. Communication within the community existed harmonically with the werewolves, it wasn't simply a self-serving monarchy. But there were some things that made you feel like a royal all over again. Being one of the few privileged people to attend this summit with all the other packs for instance. Or the way the others at said summit regarded you. Some with open disdain. Others with passive-aggressive taunting. Then some with curiosity and a select few with kindness.
  The summit would last one week. It had just barely begun, and already you wanted it to end. You suppose that a good Luna would take every opportunity to learn and be diplomatic. You had been a rather shit royal though, at least in the realm of diplomacy. Blunt, brash, 'unfeminine' yeah you made a shit princess. Strong, stubborn, fiercely loyal. You made a damn good Luna in that aspect. But you weren't about to try to be nice to a bunch of jerks. And if these other wolves hated you simply because you were a human or witch or a woman then they could transform into a wolf and sniff you ass like the lowly dogs they behaved as.
  You were also completely correct about your earlier prediction that reading minds would suck. It really really really sucked. One hour. You had been here just one hour, and already you were reaching anger to a bloodlust level. If these men were so sure that you were just a weak little thing then you would snap their necks to show them the error of their thinking. Weak. Pathetic. A slut. Human. Witch bitch (you actually thought that one was kind of funny.) You were getting really tired of hearing their thoughts. You had been trying hard to block everything out, but the problem is that the angrier you were the less you were able to control your powers. Maybe you should just light the wood table on fire to scare them all and to call today to an early end.
  One of the decent ones, Jackson, was speaking at the moment. Their village was dealing with a massive drought. The animals were leaving and now not only could they not rely on the crops but soon they wouldn't even be able to hunt. Fishing for trout upstream already left them unstable when their stream dried out. Namjoon was listening intently, one of the few leaders who was. You could tell that he was terrified, his village would have to move soon if things didn't change. Their homes would be abandoned, but he was afraid that the older ones would be unable to make the move safely. And where would they even move to? Where could they possibly go? Peace might not sustain if they tried to integrate into another smaller pack, so that was off the table.
  "I apologize for not knowing the geographical location, but how far away is your village from ours?"
  Jackson stared at you with curiosity, unsure how to respond at first. "Relatively close. We're about a day's distance away. Past the twin rivers to the west." Everyone was thinking loudly, most wondering why you were butting in. A couple thinking that the luna should know her place, to only speak when spoken to. Yep. Some things don't change much from the restrictive misogynistic human world.
  "Good. We are relatively close. As long as our village agrees we will pool together to bring food and water to you twice a month. We have had a good season. Not only do we have ample crops but it's about to be mating season for the deers. We will have plenty to share." Namjoon was smiling at you. Flashing his dimples in a look of pure adoration. One of the other lunas was wishing that she was you and her mate was scoffing internally at Namjoon.
  "Thank you very much." Jackson almost shouted out his glee, the rest of the group was rolling their eyes at his antics.
  "Don't thank me yet. I told you, this will only happen as long as the whole of our village agrees." You tried to sound stern, but you couldn't help but give a small smile of reassurance at him. He was willing to do anything for his village, and he was an earnest man. One of the few good ones.
  "So how's the problem with the humans for you Namjoon?" The man who was internally scoffing was now speaking, and while he was technically addressing Namjoon he was staring directly at you with venom.
  "It's been resolved. We are now at peace with them, thanks to (y/n)." How kind of him, also how humble. It had been a joint effort. Had he just allowed you to be eaten in the forest you wouldn't be here after all.
  The man scoffed, muttering something about 'I'll bet she did.' Maybe he didn't actually mutter it, but you know for a fact he thought it. Loud and clear.
  "Do you have something you'd like to say?" The words came out strongly from you, without a hint of wavering or backing down. You smirked at his internal dialogue. He hated you, hated that you thought that you could speak to him at all. He hated that he also knew he couldn't put you in 'your place.'
  "I just think that if it were me I would have slaughtered them all. Especially after they murdered Yoongi's mate, Hoseok's sister to boot." You felt ice run through your veins. You had no clue. How could you not know this? How had you never found out? You fought the urge to turn around and see Yoongi and Hoseok behind you. How dare this man capitalize on their pain just to try to get a rise out of you? Who did he think he was? Being a jerk to you was one thing, but using the loss of a loved one just to try to put you in, as he said, your place was pathetic. Lowly. He was lucky there were witnesses or you would have ripped his heart right out of his chest.
  "You would wager another war? We did that, and it just resulted in more deaths. You, of all people, should know what war can do to a village." Namjoon's words carried a threat to them. Back down, be at peace or you will lose. He spoke calmly, clearly but you could tell by the way he moved forward in his seat and the tick in his jaw that he was holding back the beast within him that was ready to strike.
  Silence fell over the room, some were concerned about a fight breaking out. Others were hoping for one, bored enough that they wanted to see a little action and even possibly join in as well. Finally, after a few very tense minutes someone broke the silence. The rest of the day went by painfully slowly. By the time that all of you were back in the cabin, you were emotionally drained and physically exhausted. You wanted to be back at home and in your own bed and not in the eerie summit grounds that remained empty all year except for when every pack leader and their cabinet came together. A place created for only this purpose, neutral grounds far far away from the comfort of the place you had come to love and call home.
  Most of the inner cabinet was with you and Namjoon. Jin and his mate had stayed behind at the village. Yoongi and Hoseok were the last to enter the cabin, and part of you wanted answers but when you saw their pained expressions you knew that the wound was too fresh. They hadn't kept the information from you on purpose, it was just a pain that would hurt too much to open back up. You respected that too much to pry. They would tell you some day. Until then you would just be there as a friend to support them. You hadn't been with Namjoon long, but even the thought of losing him left you in pain. The thought of losing a sibling bringing anxiety in a thick black cloud. They had been through so much. How had you not noticed it?
  Silently you stood in front of the two of them. It was as if they could understand. No one in the room spoke. All eyes, however, were laying on the three of you. An odd trio. A human and the men, the werewolves, who lost everything because of one. You stepped forward and pulled both of them into a hug, an apology tried to come out but when a sob threatened you closed your mouth. You felt their arms tighten around you. Hoseok was crying on your shoulder, Yoongi was gripping you with so much force you almost couldn't breathe.
  Sometimes words aren't necessary. This was one of those moments. The three of you didn't need to speak to convey that the pain was felt and shared. You didn't know her, didn't even know her name. But you knew them. You knew that they didn't deserve that. No one did, but especially not them. You hated that they had endured this pain, that it still laid heavily on their shoulders. Sobs filled the air as Yoongi crumpled to the ground.
  You and Hoseok followed him down to the floor, arms laying over him at odd angles. Soon Jungkook, Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon were there as well. If anyone would have walked in they surely would have seen a strange sight. Men crying loudly, their souls broken and screaming out to no one in particular as they held each other. How much had they all seen? War. Murder. Death. From their own kind and from humans. You vowed silently that you would never let anything like this happen again. You hadn't really wanted to be a witch, hadn't cared much about the powers. Until now. If there was any way you could use them to keep them all safe you would. You vowed you would. You played a larger role in life now, you were a part of them of them now. A friend. A luna. A protector. If you had to become queen of the supernatural to ensure their safety then so be it. You would do whatever it took to ensure that something like this would never happen again. Not on your watch.
  You weren't sure how long all of you stayed like this. It wasn't until Yoongi and Hoseok were standing up that all of you moved. Jimin was sniffling still, tears running down his thick cheeks as he pulled you into a hug. He gave a muffled thank you to you. You weren't sure why he was thanking you. Maybe this moment of grief had been long put off. You were sure all of them were in pain, had long been suffering silently. Of course they had been. They were a family after all. They might not have lost their sister, or their mate, but she was surely loved like their own family. They lost someone too. They all did.
  Eventually, all of you trudged into your separate rooms. You heard Namjoon shut the door behind him, your site a blurry vision as it focused on the ground. His hand wiped away the tears still falling as he kneeled in front of you. He placed his head in your lap and you automatically started stroking his hair as his hands wound around your waist. You might not be home, but as long as he was with you you'd always feel like you were. Home was with him, and this small moment of affection had you finally feeling better. Until you remembered that Yoongi could no longer have this. His mate. Dead. Hoseok's sister...gone forever. Pain rippled through in a new fresh wave all over again, crushing you heavily and threatening to choke you. Guilt and sorrow. Your people did this. You could feel Namjoon's silent tears staining your pants.
  "I can feel it. I can feel everything you go through. You aren't at fault. Please, don't blame yourself." You tried to say something, but nothing came out. He was right. You knew you weren't at fault, but it still didn't stop you from feeling agony. You couldn't believe that you had never noticed their pain before. How could you have not realized that this happened? Then you felt surges of anger. How dare that man just bring up that topic, knowing that Yoongi and Hoseok were in the same room. How dare he disregard their feelings just to anger you. It worked. You were angry. You wanted to murder him. Not that it would do any good, but really he was a piece of shit. At the very least he deserves to have his nose broken. Maybe his jaw too, just for good measure. Namjoon is stirring, his face peering up at you intently. You're sure that he can feel the anger that's now flowing from you.
  "I just...I hate that guy. He brought it up just to piss me off. He was thinking about how I should be put in my place, he said that to make me feel hurt. To make me feel small. To make me feel like a lowly human. But that is nothing, nothing in comparison to what he did to Yoongi and Hoseok." Your voice is scratchy from crying, and words laced with tired bitterness. Namjoon is moving up and onto the bed next to you, pulling you into his chest. His hands are soothingly rubbing your back and you feel yourself start to finally calm down as you hear a soft knock on your door.
  "Come in." Namjoon doesn't move as he speaks and you keep your sight trained on the wall in front of you before Yoongi is suddenly in the way. You blink blearily at him, taking in his puffy red eyes and rounded shoulders. He looks so broken, just a shell of a person. Maybe he's always looked this broken, maybe he's just gotten good at masking it. But now he seems so battle worn and haggard, and you know the facade that he's okay can't be put up anymore. At least not tonight.
  "Can I talk to you guys?" His voice is croaky and hoarse, it pains you to even hear him speak.
  "Of course." Namjoon's words come out softly as if speaking too loudly might break Yoongi. They wouldn't of course. How can you break something that's already broken?
  You don't speak, you just look up at Yoongi before quietly patting the spot on the bed next to you. He squints at the spot on the bed, clearly in an internal dilemma before he finally lets out a deep sigh and sits down next to you. He's rigid and awkward, clearly trying to keep a distance. As if being near you pains him. It's not you though, you know that just being around other people pains him. You're suddenly very aware of the fact that you and Namjoon are sitting tightly next to each other and you realize it's probably the fact that he's next to a couple. The very thing he no longer has. You shift slightly from Namjoon and look back at him, hoping he understands your movements before you're softly placing your hand over Yoongi's.
  He seems so small, so tiny next to you right now. Like a lost child. You feel him finally relax before he starts to tremble as he speaks. "I just wanted to thank you (y/n). You would have really liked her. She was everything to me, she was amazing. Everyone loved her. I don't know how I got so lucky that I could have her in my life, even if it was so short. And then when I lost her I just got so angry. You have to understand she...she loved humans. Her favorite stories were all about kingdoms and palaces, and she used to wander out to the forest edge just to try to look inside the kingdom. She's the one who got Jimin so interested in it in the first place. I used to come home to see the two of them reading and laughing together, and they had all these plans. She...she wanted to meet a real-life princess. That was her life goal, she wanted to see what they were really like. If all the stories were right." You feel something break inside you at this admission. Gone too soon, gone before you could even know her.
  "She never listened to me. She kept wandering out, even though we knew there were hunting parties and we knew that others had been slain. But she still kept going to the forest edge, and then one day she was gone. I knew she was gone, I could feel her die. I could feel the pain she went through, and I could feel her soul get ripped away from mine. I'm not even whole anymore, my soul has literally been ripped apart. And when we tried to find her body all we saw was blood and fur. They took her, of course, they took her. After all, they just wanted her fucking coat. I couldn't ever bury her, I couldn't even have a proper goodbye. And then I hated. I hated those humans, I wanted all of them dead. So I hunted them, I wanted revenge. But then I met you, and I wanted to hate you but I couldn't. How could I? How could I possibly hate the very thing that she always wanted to meet? How could I hate the thing she loved so much? I hated that I even wanted to hate you, I hated that I even hated humans because she would never have wanted that. But how could I not hate them? How?? Tell me how???? And now, I don't know what to do. She's gone. She's gone, and she's dead and I'm all alone. And when I hated everything it was easy, I could just live for hate. But now, now I'm just empty. And I'm so tired. God I'm just so fucking tired, I don't want to wake up. I don't want to wake up alone, I don't want to wake up expecting to see her face only to remember all over again that she's dead. She's fucking dead, all for some quick cash for some scum humans." He's sobbing now, his body shaking with force. His cries are straight from his soul, and the pain of it is infectious. Grieving has a way of leaving everything around you empty and hallow, and you know that there's not much you can do to fix that.
  You take a moment to just allow him to cry. When was the last time he talked to someone about this? Had he ever? Knowing how private he is you're sure that he hasn't. For a year all this pain has been a festering wound, the infection toxically spreading to point of near nonfunctioning. When he finally starts to even out his breathing you speak to him quietly. "It's okay to hate Yoongi. It's okay to hate them. It's okay to even hate me. It's okay to be lost, and scared and confused. But it's not okay to want to die. It's not. I get why, but I need you to understand something. It's more than just about your friends. We would never get over your death, we would always wonder where we went wrong but even then there's still more to it. She left, far too early. She couldn't live out her life, she couldn't see much of it. So you have to do it for her. You have to live for her, you have to experience and do all the things that she would have wanted to. That's what you do now. Because I'm sure she's watching over you, I'm sure she's here with us. So do it for her. Live for her. It's okay to live. It's okay to be happy. It's okay to be sad even. Just please, please Yoongi. Please choose life, I know she wants you to."
  Yoongi is just nodding at your words for a moment. Small hiccups bubbling up from him as he clutches to your hand. "Live...for her..." His word is a distant whisper, and you can tell he's not really speaking to anyone other than himself. The three of you remain silent as you watch the sun finally ebb away from the sky and darkness starts to fill the room.
  "Yoongi, please talk to us. It's okay to not talk if you don't want to, but sometimes you should at least let us know. We're here for you. We're your family, and your ours. We love you." Namjoon sounds like he's on the verge of crying, just barely holding it together. Yoongi's grip on your hand tightens almost painfully for a moment before he's suddenly standing up.
  "Thank you." He's looking over at the two of you with a tear-stained face before he's slowly making his way out of the room.
  When you hear the sound of Yoongi's door closing down the hall you finally speak, sure to keep your voice down to just a whisper. After all, werewolves do have sensitive hearing and you don't want anyone to hear this. "Namjoon...what happens when your mate dies?"
  Namjoon pulls you back into his chest, his head resting on top of yours. "It just depends. When they die very young, especially if it's before there's been a child then usually you'll find another mate. The universe has a way of making sure that everything balances out."
  Something pulls deep within you, and you know you have to ask. "He has another mate now, doesn't he?"
  "Yes...but I don't know who. I think I'm the only one that knows he does. The elder came by last month to tell me that Yoongi was very distraught and that he found out that there's another mate. But he wouldn't tell the elder who it was, he just kept saying that it wasn't possible. That he wouldn't be with anyone else. That he'd rather..." He never finishes the sentence, but you know what he's implying. Yoongi would rather die than have another mate. A part of you understands. While you haven't been with Namjoon anywhere near as long as Yoongi was with his mate, you're sure that if Namjoon died you wouldn't ever move on. Not really. How could you?
  "I love you." The words come out choked, and even though you thought it was impossible to still shed more tears they're threatening to fall once more.
  "I love you. So much. You're everything to me." Namjoon is crying freely now, and the two of you fall asleep that night clutching to each other in the darkness. Afraid that if the two of you aren't touching that somehow you'll be forced away from each other. At first, you dream of a world where you could have met Hoseok's sister and Yoongi's mate. A world where everything is whole and right and perfect but then the dream morphs and you see rivers of blood and clumps of fur all around you and you hear screams of pain and howls of death before you're waking up covered in cold sweat. You try to settle next to Namjoon, but you can't go back to sleep. Fear is crippling you, you can't shut your eyes and possibly see those same visions.
  Carefully you extract yourself from Namjoon's tight hold. When you're sure that he's not awake you dress slowly and quietly. Dawn hasn't even arrived yet, but you can tell that it's approaching soon enough. You're not sure where you're going, but you know you need to get out of the cabin. Maybe take a walk, just enjoy fresh air because you still feel as if that nightmare is suffocating you.
  You walk down the hallways as silently as possible, setting your way out the door when you realize that Hoseok and Yoongi are sitting in front of the fireplace. You freeze as you look at them. Dark circles and heavy bags under their eyes, their skin dry and sallow and somehow they look like they've aged in just a few hours. Hoseok gives you a small smile, but you can tell by the way it doesn't reach his eyes that it's an empty one. "Couldn't sleep either?" His voice cracks from not being used in so long. You shake your head no and look over at the door. You could leave, but now you don't really want to. So instead you make your way over to one of the empty chairs and silently stare into the fire. Even though it's crackling and blazing the heat doesn't reach you. It doesn't reach any of you. Sorrow has this strange way of making everything so cold, so bitterly cold.
  You're not sure how long you stare into the orange flames. The room starts to become hazy with the morning light slowly pouring in, and somehow as you start to relax your realize that you can hear their thoughts. You're trying desperately not to pry, but they're thinking far too loudly. Hoseok is seeing a memory, and the flashes of a girl smiling up at him is suddenly in your mind's eye. She was so beautiful, so happy. It was easier when you didn't know her face, but now she feels all too real. Agony washes over you in new waves before suddenly the fuzzy thoughts of Yoongi are prominent and stubborn and no matter how much you try to run you can't get away from his thoughts. They aren't words or images. It's just pure pain. It's almost as though your skin is being stripped off of you as if a hot poker is searing you from the inside out. It's the pain of his broken soul that has you releasing a gut-wrenching, blood-curdling scream of pure agony before everything falls black.
  You're not sure how you got here, but you know exactly where you are as you look around. It's a void of nothingness, and while before it had been calming now you feel your skin prickle with unease. You're in the same place that you went to when the seal on your powers was released. But this time there was no spell. This time there were no powers to unleash. This time it's different. This time you know you're not alone in the void.
