Every summer since I was 15 has been filled with therapy appointments, dietician meetings, weigh-ins, meal plans, meds, food tantrums, body checking, screaming, crying, clawing myself out of my skin, and long days in treatment recovery centers. Every summer since I was 15. That's crazy to me. Today I'm 2 months away from being 20. I'm not in a treatment center. I'm not underweight. I still see a therapist. I still have a meal plan but I'm learning to eat intuitively. I'm not bff's with my body yet but I'm learning to appreciate it, compliment it, feed it, and try my darndest to look in the mirror every morning and ACCEPT AND LOVE what I see. Cause somehow radical self love is the last thing on everyone's to-do list. I almost have 4 years of being in this recovery journey under my belt. And I'm here to tell you: LIFE REALLY TRULY FREAKIN DOES GET BETTER. It won't happen all at once and it surely won't be all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Real talk: {I still have fear foods and freak out moments! But tonight I ate ice cream, even tho my brain told me not to} {bikini's are still hard AF for me. showing my weight restored tummy to people makes me all quesy and ashamed of the fat on my body. but IM DOING IT!} #rollsarentjustforcinnamon Today is the 1st ever world eating disorder action day. If you're struggling with your relationship with food-- no matter how "big or small" you think it is. I challenge you to reach out to someone you trust about getting help, or just take the first step and tell them about your eating behaviours/fears/rituals. You matter. Recovery is possible. And you deserve it. ❥❥❥❥ •• If you need any advice/help about how to take the first steps in recovery, OR if you're reading this and saying to yourself, "I don't think I have an eating disorder... do I?" MESSAGE ME/EMAIL ME/FB ME. I'm here. I love you. Being fully free from food/body lies IS POSSIBLE. And I'll get there some day too. 💪🏼✨🤘🏻•• (p.s. I painted this! ISNT IT THE COOLEST VERSE EVER. Jesus knows wuts up).