Remember to take breaks and cool down! You're not lazy, rude, or invalid for needing to disengage from stressors of any kind. Discourse is not easy.
Pinned Post (explanations on what you're working with here):
This Blog:
The ask box is open, and I'll happily have a civil discussion-- one free of ad hominem remarks, and where all involved parties are aware they may be disagreed with-- from all sides of any discourse, barring plurality discourse. I don't do anons anymore.
Tagged "#muted notifications," I occasionally have to mute notifications for various posts of mine. So, don't try getting my attention on anything I've given that tag.
OP:
I'm a disabled, perisex, bigender adult living in the USA. When referring to me, do so with (he/him) and (she/her) pronouns, and call me either OP or Sage.
One such disability of mine is albinism, and I'd love it if people were to ask me questions about the condition. I wish more people cared about albinism beyond the aesthetic, or would at the very least get the aesthetic right.
Due to anti-transgender aggression where I live, I'm birth-stealth to all but my closest friends offline. Still, I call myself transmasculine, and I someday hope to evolve to transfeminine as well-- a femininity that is achievable only after masculine transition, that doesn't give me dysphoria, that meshes in beautifully with my being. (These are my own feelings with my gender; I'm not labelling anyone else.)
Lastly, I'll never ever disclose here whether I'm "TMA" or "TME." I have many reasons, but my biggest one is that I love it when bioessentialists don't know whether to treat me like a fucked-up "female" or "male." I hate the sex binary, and I hate TERFs.
Some of OP's Views (Warning: LONG):
Pro-Landback. Indigenous people have right to the land of their ancestors. Landback isn't about forcing non-indigenous people off the land to get the land back, or making non-Indigenous people second-class citizens.
One's religious beliefs (or lack thereof) should not affect the people who don't share those beliefs.
Pro-self diagnosis. Healthcare systems tend to be shit; tons of people go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for very real struggles, and they still deserve resources.
Pro-choice. People should be allowed to do with their own bodies what they want, especially if it's to protect themselves and their livelihoods. This also includes that genital-altering operations should not be forced upon people, such as with many intersex infants having their genitals surgically altered (read: not gender-affirming surgeries that people consent to have done to themselves.)
Sex traits are naturally varied and malleable, and binaries in both sex and gender alike should be abolished.
White people (in the USA at least) can be resented and treated indecently, but they are not oppressed for being White. There is no such thing as "reverse racism."
Men (in the USA at least) can benefit from the patriarchy only if they participate in it. The patriarchy affects people of different genders differently, but everybody is hurt by it in some way or another.
Benevolent sexism exists and is harmful. Nobody is helped by the idea of "pink jobs" and "divine femininity." Capabilities are not inherent to one's gender.
Being oppressed and acknowledging that will never inherently mean you blame other oppressed people for it.
Trans people can and do experience unique struggles that cisgender people of the gender they identify as doesn't usually experience, by virtue of being trans. We need to stop referencing cisgender people as gender standards.
Transfeminine people don't have AMAB privilege / male privilege, transmascs don't have "AFAB / female privilege" (those are not real), and non-binary people do not have privilege from their ASAB. Additionally, one's ASAB refers to an event, and is not accurate to describing one's body or mind ("gendered brains" aren't real.)
Pro-MOGAILIOM, radinclus.
Anti-radqueer, pro-alternatives, pro-recovery.
Pro-paraphilia, however, people attracted to beings who cannot consent shouldn't hold contact stance besides anti-contact. "Cannot consent" includes bodily minors, who do not have the life experience and privilege to readily protect themselves from the risks that intimacy with bodily adults carry.
Youthlib, but bodily minors being unable to safely consent to sex with bodily adults is not something they need "liberating" from.
Transracial belongs to people adopted into families of a differing race, and only to those people.
You can identify as homosexual but have experience with others of a different gender. You can also identify as multisexual (bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual) but have experience with others of only one gender.
You can be both sexually active and asexual. Asexuality and aromanticism revolve around attraction, not action.
Kink should be done with all participants aware of risks and consenting. RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) is better than SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual).
Not all coping mechanisms are healthy and productive, and not all facets of the human mind are beneficial-- however, neither is repression.
If I must don a shipcourse label, then I'm neutralship, through a mix of views cemented in both antiship and proship conversations.
Anti-harrassment. Engaging in discourse is not harassment until the arguments "break containment," such as with ad hominem attacks. I hate echo-chambers.
the study that concluded trans women on average make less than trans men only took into account full-time jobs, meaning it ignored data from trans people in part time jobs. trans men are more than *twice* as likely as trans women to have part-time jobs, which basically by definition pay less than full-time jobs. from this study (sample size 27,000+ usamerican transgender people) which does include part-time jobs, trans men [in the united states on average] make about 30% less than trans women, which is a PRETTY BIG NUMBER to fuck up on a reporting decision don'tcha think
data from larger studies consistently show trans women make more than trans men on average which doesn't have to mean anything
no one has to have male privilege
that's just being so locked in cisnormative thinking you can't imagine anything else
“which one has male privilege?” it's like asking a lesbian couple which one is the man
you (and prev) are both entirely correct, the main point of this post is to debunk those fuckass posts about how trans men "Aren't seen as faggots in the eyes of the state" because one study with whack data collection says we make 10 cents more, not to say that transfems have secret evil male privilege (because they don't)
Please save and share this info where possible. This report has since been removed by Amnesty International due to legal threats of libel from JK Rowling. This information is no longer easily accessible.
Like, this isn't discourse, this isn't even about non-trans women drawing trans women, this is about me wanting people to stop saying the only way a real woman could only ever possibly want to look like me is as a form of self-harm.
And wild too that people are like "you're making them think it isn't actually really easy to look like cis women" like okay miss fucking My Mom Works At Raytheon but a lot of people legitimately do not have the time, money, or any other favorable circumstance which would enable them to do look like cis women, so why don't you shut the fuck up about how they'll look like Gross Men until they can scrounge up the fat stack of resources for those things?
Do you get it? This is horrible even for trans women who want to pass!
The literal core of emasculation is misogyny. As a feminist, you should not be making light of any form of misogyny, much less fucking proud of perpetuating it. Your intended target does not matter.
Misogyny Is Bad.
You are making a mockery of the activism you advertise yourself as a part of if you can wield the oppressive forces to your liking.
When I say the recent major waves of transandrophobia, transmisogyny and exorsexism on this site feel like a psyop, I am not saying "bigotry in the community isn't real and everyone ever posting it is a government agent", I'm saying that a lot of us are becoming so susceptible to hating one another that we arent even recognizing when blatantly obvious bad faith actors are inserting themselves into our community spaces anymore.
I am watching people get anons that are self evidently written by TERFs, 4channers and a number of people who likely do not engage with our spaces outside of discourse, and blindly blaming other trans people/communities as a whole. Watching them insist that that's just how our brothers and sisters treat each other, so they've earned slurs and harassment in return. Eye for an eye, but you earn it by even having eyes to see that a blade was swung at all.
I'm begging all of you to learn to recognize this and stop participating in it. It's feeding exactly what the nasty underbelly of this site wants of our community - for it to self cannibalize and fizzle out until there's no one to have your back while they try to drive each and every one of us to detransition or suicide.
too many people have the idea that racism is a nothingburger thing. like. people die from that. it’s not “cancel culture” to call out racism. and if you’re white and you say anything close to that you have some serious self-reflecting to do. idc if you’re a content creator. idc if “it could happen to you.” having a platform on the internet and saying stupid bullshit doesn’t make you more oppressed than the marginalized groups you’re criticizing for being upset
If you haven't already, I highly suggest reporting @/bipedal-embarrassment for hate speech, and then blocking them (I could find no personal pronouns on this person's page.)
They're pushing transmisogyny similar to @/transmascvoicesproject (whom they also reblog from), specifically using "sex-based privilege and oppression" theory to paint transfeminine people largely as predators and everybody else as potential victims who should be wary of transfems.
I tried talking to them about this shit earlier, but they just delete any and all dissenting comments. So, don't waste your time trying that.
Importantly though, don't take this as a sign to harass them. That does nothing but create a larger, more hurtful mess. Again, just report them for hate speech, and then block them.
Eeeegh, why has there been such a sharp uptick in people who deny the existence of androqueerphobia posting in the related tags lately?
Just in the past three days, I've had to roll my eyes to at least five separate "transandrobros here's your wake up call" posts on my dash. I was already sick of it by the second one, and I don't know where I'm at now, but it ain't looking up.
IDK I think if cis men are being told that being fat will lower their testosterone and make them Insufficiently Masculine, and cis women are being told that being fat will raise their testosterone and make them Excessively Masculine, and fat trans people are being denied the right to medically transition if they're fat, and thin trans people are warned against HRT because it will make them fat (and this is said about both testosterone and estrogen HRT), and androgynous-presenting people are told that only thin people count as androgynous...
Then maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe the weight loss industry is just using Gender to enforce fatphobia.
trans men absolutely are in sex work, the majority just present as women for work because it's much harder to make money if you don't. You don't see them because they're forced to detransition for work or you haven't even tried to look for the ones who are presenting masc. They're all over the sex work forums if you know what to look for and how they talk about it.
there is no "trans men aren't pushed into sex work" privilege. It is not a privilege to be forced into it AND have to detransition for it. This isn't a competition
I think a lot of "trans men aren't affected by this" stuff boils down to the trans men in question that ARE affected being deminished to not being men at all or being forced to detransition/pretend to be women
A lot of talk about boymoding and how hard it is but trans men do the exact same thing the other way around and a lot of times specifically because they are forced into sex work
The trans community in general would be way healthier if we realized we literally go through the same exact stuff
I highly recommend, infact greatly urge, that everyone read "Working Guys: A Transmasculine Sex Worker Anthology" edited by Jack Parker.
Working Guys is a collection of essays, personal narratives and interviews about the lives of transmasculine sex workers, in our own words.
It has writing by everyone from girlmoding full-service ecorts to medically transitioned porn stars.
It's one of the only published works on the topic (in fact, I think it might be currently he the sole published work on the topic in English).
As a trans man who has done sex work in vairey of context both while girlmoding and after socially and medically transitioning, I found it to be an excellent collection of raw and honest writing by people whose stories are so often erased.
Begging people to stop referencing the radical feminist theory of "sexed socialization" ("male socialization" vs "female socialization"), and fighting for it under a new definition, when they really just mean "socially-imposed gender" ("socialized as a girl", "socialized as a boy.")
What you mean has already been given terms and theory.
You just have to listen to intersex people and not talk over them.
btw i have seen some people using ''birthday girl'' to refer to transphobic trans women and i Do Not Like That. don't do that shit.
primarily because i think its fucking weird to have catty little insults for trans people we disagree with, even and perhaps especially when we disagree with them over actually harmful things they've done or rhetoric they contribute to. its unhelpful and adds fuel to the fire of emotion-first "my pain justifies being an asshole, if you want me to be kinder you just don't get my suffering" trans infighting, and no matter how good it feels i do not think it is right! it hurts all of us whether directly or indirectly because it contributes to a toxic culture, and it is genuinely poison to organizing socially and politically against patriarchy.
but also, on a practical level (which as a pragmatist i do not think is actually separate from the ethical level), its a bad fucking look! it is weird and shitty that people are so invested in coming up with catty little insults, or just adopting pre-existing slurs, to describe trans people they think are being transmisogynistic instead of just saying they are being transmisogynistic, and i think it is illustrative of the trends prevalent in the "transandrophobia isn't real" sphere that this is a thing people engage in and defend so much. if you agree with that point, you should understand that turning around and calling trans women "birthday girls" weakens that criticism! it makes it look hypocritical and easily written off!
when done right, taking the moral high ground should strengthen your arguments by making it so that people cannot argue you are being cruel or vindictive or bigoted when you make your point. it may be less satisfying but it is all around better for all of us. if you genuinely want there to be less cruelty from trans people towards trans people, you have to take some responsibility for the role you play in that. we all do! if The Discourse is really pissing you off, find ways to process that anger and frustration and pain that don't contribute to the very thing causing them in the first place.
#get peer reviewed#also for fuck's sake do NOT pull out any variation of feminazi.#i've seen it once or twice and if you pull that shit you are being a bigot#incredibly counterproductive and DEEPLY embarassing.#no I don't care what they said to you don't fucking do it.
get peer reviewed x2
never let your opponent dictate what the moral high road is, but that doesn't mean you stop giving a fuck about morality. taking a firm ethical stance on how you engage with other people, especially other oppressed people, will ALWAYS do a million times more for actual liberation than the cathartic mud-slinging ever will. you are hurting everyone when you pull this kind of bullshit.
I love this framing! Because, you know, I always hated the Michelle Obama "they go low we go high" (which ftr I don't think she sticks by anymore), but I also have always really cared about my own values system. So it's not that taking the moral high road is a waste of time or counterproductive, it's that you shouldn't let your enemies and your opponents determine what the moral high road is
Funny you mention that! I actually started thinking about this because of this Alt Right Playbook video, which focuses on how the Obama's emphasis on this "they go low we go high" rhetoric was profoundly useless!
"All these lesboys, and not a single turigirl (a real one, not some appropriative AFAB)! Really makes you think."
Well, among other things, such utterances sure make me think that far too many trans people look at Marsha Pay It No Mind Johnson and see her for nothing more than a figurehead of trans rights, instead of a gay Black trans woman who is worth remembering for every drop of her blood, sweat, and tears that she put into the foundations of the modern transgender rights movements.
I got my name and sex legally changed last year (it went through February 2025) and a month ago we started getting phone calls and letters about it
We thought it was a scammer or something but I guess not?
We called them today and it turns out because of an order Trump issued, the social security office has to revert my legal sex back to my sex assigned at birth.
I just opened a bank account and I'm supposed to start college this fall too and I have no idea how this is going to affect any of that
I honestly don't really know what's happening
If anyone has ANY advice or information or literally anything, please tell me
I don't know what's happening and I don't know what to do
they've been arguing about malgendering on twitter so here's the truth from me, the arbiter of truth (jk but ive been talking about malgendering long before it became a popular buzzword and heres my understanding of it)
malgendering is a form of transphobia wherein a transphobic person uses their victim's correct gender to harass or demean them. it is meant to be the inverse of misgendering, where a transphobe uses the victim's incorrect gender to harass or demean them.
misgendering towards trans women can be as simple as "youre a man." but malgendering is more insidious, like someone saying "you really are a girl" when she makes a mistake in order to insult her intelligence. the phrase "you really are a girl" is positive when removed from the context of the trans woman making a mistake and the transphobe's sarcastic tone that implies shes stupid in an misogynistic way.
if a trans man does something like standing up for himself against an unfair situation or asks for better accommodations/treatment, and a transphobe wants to use that to imply he is selfish and entitled, they might say "trans men really are men" which again, is a true statement on its own. but in the context of the situation, its clear the transphobe is using the stereotypical worst qualities of men to insult and undermine someone's very identity.
malgendering can be any severity of harm, just like misgendering. my mom slipping up in the first months of my transition and accidentally calling me "she", and a bigot shouting "YOURE A WOMAN YOULL NEVER BE A MAN" at me are both examples of misgendering, but one is much worse than the other and its the same with malgendering. being told "trans men are the men of the trans community" as an insult is annoying and rude but not a big deal. however, right now ICE is torturing trans men in concentration camps by forcing them to do pointless and grueling labor. and when they become exhausted, theyre told "I thought you were a man. if youre really a man this should be easy for you" these are both examples of malgendering. one is a microaggression, the other is literal torture.
malgendering happens equally to both trans men and trans women, its not something that is unique to anyone because it is a form of transphobia. the strategy is that if a transphobe tries to make a trans persons life as their true gender so miserable and unsafe, detransitioning seems like the safer and happier option. its psychological torment, moreso than the plain and obvious insult of intentional misgendering. so dont let it happen, call it out when you see it and dont be fooled by transphobes trying to erase the context and be like "what!! what i said was true!"
