( 𝓓O NOT DISTURB ) 𝗮𝗻𝘂𝗯𝗶𝘀 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿. ᯽ sfw +++ fluff. the god of death can't stay quiet when he is so happy to have his wife in his arms.
it’s quiet, suspiciously quiet, that you start to wonder what's happening in the outside world, even if you are still in dreamland.
sitting in ANUBIS's lap, comfortably settled while your head rests against his chest, as he hums under his breath, claws tracing lazy shapes on your thighs, rocking you slightly as you enjoy the peace for once. eyes closed, napping on your lover's body, brain empty, finally relaxing, and then...
“aaaaaaa—!!!”
you have never woken up so fast that you jolt so hard you nearly headbutt him. “wha–!?” you shout, head spinning and looking around because surely no one is going to surprise attack you or try to fight with mister jackal head over here.
his eyes go wide, a bright and sharp toothy grin shows on his face, and you imagine a puppy tail wagging at catastrophic speed from excitement because, believe it or not, he is basically vibrating with joy.
“i'm happy!” he yells proudly, and his hands gripped your legs tighter as his golden claws dig in, and you were so used to the pain that you didn't even feel it. “i just remembered that i'm happy, so so so sooo happy~”
“you screamed in my ear.”
“i'm sorry, i'm sorry! i forgot you were resting...”
"i am..." you say carefully, lips thinning, an eye twitching despite yourself, "...going to destroy you.”
anubis blinks once, then he laughs loudly, booming with the same voice that guides souls into the afterlife. his chest vibrates against your back as he tightens his hold, thick arms wrapping around you like iron bands, all carved muscle and divine warmth. shiftting his weight and suddenly you’re bouncing slightly on his lap, entirely at his mercy.
“cuddles for my lovely wife!” he chants happily, voice lilting, almost reverent, like a prayer murmured at an altar, “stay, stay, stay, stay with me!”
you sag against him, exhausted, the contrast of who he is as a god, a ruler of the underworld, cloaked in jackal-headed legends and funerary rites, reduced to this hyper, affectionate menace with biceps that could crush stone and a grin too wide to take seriously.
“anubis,” you warn, deadpan, not even turning your head. “if you yell again, i will leave and never come back, and no, i don't care that we are married.”
“oh...” he straightens immediately, nodding far too fast. “then i will be quiet! so quiet you won’t even know i’m alive!” leaning with lips brushing near your ear as he whispers the promise, hopeful and earnest, like a child trying desperately to behave.
you sigh, so tired and defeated, but finally, not a single sound comes out of his mouth; he nods furiously again as if sealing a sacred vow when silence falls. you can rest without worrying about getting disturbed again, because a happy wife means a happy life.
“i love, love, love you~!"
not even three seconds as you groan and bury your face in his chest. “i can't with you sometimes..."
“but you’re still sitting on me,” your husband says smugly, and unfortunately, you are still in his lap. he beams, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, arms locked around you like a victory prize. humming happily, rocking slightly, like an overgrown puppy who just got told he’s allowed on the couch.
this time, he actually stays quiet... for almost a whole minute, but hey, that's a new record.
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