#rough nights

[jhara-ivez]

We (my bro, my sis and me) are doing wintermagic again this year. It's just a bit of oracle-ing, just a tiny little prophecy. So how bad can it get.

Wish me luck.

[katanamasako]

Calamity always had been a light sleeper. having trouble sleeping when so many were out for her blood.

And then there were the nightmares when she was able to sleep. Tonight was such a night. sleep came quickly enough, but it was a fitful sleep, her claws working into the pelts of her bedding.

She was reliving a snippet of her past, before she was taken, imprisoned, and her sisters torn from her protection. Hiding beneath a large hemlock bush, as large shadows slowly glided overhead.

Like a rabbit fleeing an owl, she bolted. bush, to bush, to overhang, to fallen log. finally, her siblings. Kat, though much younger, smaller and her features soft and clinging to a small bundle. Yuki. Her ears and eyes not yet open.

Kat gave a very soft whimper. “To’chi?” 

“Shhh, it’s okay. When i say. we run. okay? don’t stop, just go.” However, they never got the chance. A large claw snatched Kat from her grasp, before she was pulled away by another. They had been found. And the sharp pain that brought darkness and nothing more caused a sudden waking.

Calamity’s breathing ragged, gasping out as she pressed herself flat agaisnt the pelts until remembering. That was centuries ago. She was safe, in safe company.

[macattackp]

I Think What Bugs Me the Most About People Who Judge My Chronic Illness, Isn’t How It Affects Me But How it Affects Those Around Me:

I’ve Lost The Closest Relationships I’ve Had as They’ve Been Told I am a Liar, Lazy, and Untrustworthy

I’ve Had My Mother Near Tears as People Ridiculed Her Parenting Technique For Trying to Help Me When “What I Needed Was to Be Kicked Out so I’d Be Desperate Enough!”

I’ve Become an Incredible Financial Burden to My Father. So Much So That Even If I Should Get a Job I’m Not Sure How Many Years I’ll Spend Paying Him Back

I’ve Become a Barrier to My Sister, Who Sees All I’m Going Through and Is Scared What Lies Before Her

I’ve Become a Point of Fear For My Extended Family, Who as They See Me and My Cousins Suffer From Incurable Diseases Start To Question If Our Entire Genepool Is Just Faulty

I’ve Become a Discouragement and Point of Confusion For My Struggling Friends Who Can’t Wrap Their Heads Around How You Can Give Your Best and Still Have So Much Go Wrong

Yes It’s Hard For Me to Be Judged and Yelled At. I Don’t Like False Accusations, Insults, Or How Everything I’ve Worked For In Life This Far Is Forgotten Because My Life Isn’t Great Currently. But There Are People I Care About... And They Are Hurting.... Because I am Being a Burden and it Hurts Them.... Of All The Things I Fear in Life, There is Nothing I Have Been More Scared of Than Hurting People I Care About... And Now I’m Stuck in a World Where I’m Forced to Daily... It Is Honestly Killing Me Inside...

[portalofwounds]

I am at a point in my life, where I just don’t know anything anymore. Like I am totally dissolving. Everything is just an illusion… and nothing is left that’s real, just empty matter. I am nothingness and nothingness is all there is.. life is such a simulation and I think I’m going crazy or dying.. like the earth right now, just an empty space.. no time is existing right now

[healeremeline]

Journal Entry

17th Sun of the Second Astral Moon

Another mission that she gathered. There was even a note that it was not for the lighthearted. I avoid these missions. I do my best to not think beyond my duties on nights like this. I walk about the ship, checking on places and people. Checking the cupboard stock and doing what I can to think of the better times, the smiles on their faces...hearing their laughter in the halls. 

I ignore the sounds of preparation. Metal on metal, swords being sharpened...pistols being loaded. That silence that rips through my heart as they look to each other. 

I ignore the time that goes by when they are away. The hum of the ship that hovers over a new place, while they do what they feel, is needed. 

And when the darkness reaches the ear of those of us that can not bear it, we intervene and are met with eyes on us as if we are the enemy. 

[randomlonelytorment]

It's been a long time coming, couldn't keep on running, had to hit rock bottom to know. When you keep on losing with the path you're choosing and it's time to let go, of someone that I used to know

- A Mood

[yatexasgal-blog]

I’m having a TOUGH time but that’s okay because everything is going to be okay