How many drinks each of the designated sextet would have to consume to shake ass and how well they'd shake ass: a thesis
Percival: Five drinks, 8/10 ass shaking
She probably used to visit a lot of lesbian bars back in the day (1970's ish) to lure humans into drinking their blood. She doesn't seem like the type to traditionally shake ass but rather shake ass gothically if that makes sense. She seems like the type to sway ass not shake it but she is mesmerizing with it tho. I shaved off some points because it's not TECHNICALLY shaking ass but still.
Amos: Seven drinks, 4/10 ass shaking
i don't know MUCH about bro (sorry amos marshall fans please don't come after me) but from his description i feel like he'd be a little stiff. Like he's not BAD at ass shaking it just needs a little more work.
Ruprecht: Six drinks, 2/10 ass shaking
I firmly believe that ruprecht has the fattest ass out of all of the sextet but he is absolute DOOKIE CHEEKS at shaking cheeks. He seems like the type to be super stiff and uncoordinated. Bro would probably move like tophiachu. The stars didn't teach him SHIT about throwing it in a circle.
Iris: The whole damn bottle, 5/10 ass shaking
Nevermind the fact that it'd take her ass to get blackout drunk for her to be comfortable enough to throw ass but she doesn't seem to have much experience of throwing it in a circle. Once she gets comfortable enough she's the type to quite literally throw it in a circle. She'd be cordial with it, probably throw it in a neat little circle while standing upright with her hands on her hips. Just something slight, a little calm maybe.
Chrysophilius: Five and a half drinks and a line of coke, 6/10 ass shaking
After drinking so much he forgets his internalized toxic masculinity, he definitely seems like more of an energetic ass shaker. Yeah, maybe not a lot of coordination and some sporadic movement but he got the spirit tho. He is a CHRONIC dwerker, he thinks it unironically attracts the ladies.
Robert: Two drinks and a Perc 30, 10/10 ass shaking
If it's one person who knows how to throw ass, it's robert. That mf is a RAVER, he could throw it in a circle, a triangle, a square. He could throw it over here, over there, he will throw it ANYWHERE if he's confident enough.He's a masterful ass shaker and i will not hear otherwise. He also has the ass of richard grayson so that definitely helps. he got his bodacious badonkadonk from his uncle.
