newly!boyfriend sae that is unsure on what to do now that the two of you are together, infact he doesn’t even know how the two of you got together.
newly!boyfriend sae that takes you to ridiculous high expense places in the country, unsure if you’re into it or not because of your knowing and understanding expression.
newly!boyfriend sae that is as careful with words that he kept it to himself to the point of awkward silences in between dates.
newly!boyfriend sae that is worried about if he’s treating you right and ask you after every date if it was good or at the very least okay.
newly!boyfriend sae that experiences nostalgia when the date that you took him to was a ice cream parlor and to the beachside’s barrier to sit there.
newly!boyfriend sae that you dragged into the rain and danced with, where he’d pause to take out the outer of his outfit thus giving it to you and followed along the dance.
newly!boyfriend sae that slowly adapts into the life that he had left despite forgetting how it was before he went to europe.
newly!boyfriend sae that introduces you to his family, subtly showing you off towards his teammate, and the public to point out how he’s dating you.
newly!boyfriend sae that gives you a kiss on the back of your hand— inside the car, living room, kitchen, wherever it’d be just to remind himself how he’s here with you.
and, newly!boyfriend sae that places a kiss on your lips when the two of you part, knowing the two of you most likely to meet again the next morning.
“here comes the airplane!” “i can feed myself.” “too bad.”
“what... are you trying to do?” sae shoots you the look of a raised eyebrow and lips twisted in confusion, eyeing the spoonful of porridge in your hand and the mischievous smile he’s come to adore.
currently he sits on his bed, tucked in all the fluffliest and warmest blankets you could find in his apartment. which weren’t a lot, so he’s also wrapped in his own hoodies. you even made a comment about him looking like deflated baymax — he had glared at you, you laughed even more.
sae doesn’t get sick a lot, and when he does, he’d most likely brush it off as normal cold that would go away on its own or whatever, which is also the reason behind his bad habit of never telling you about the times he is sick.
although you find out anyway, and sae guesses it’s because his manager is working double ways. well, he doesn’t really mind it either. because each time it leads to our current situation — which, although he never has and never will admit — is something he always looks forward to. and if he's being honest, he wouldn’t mind getting sick on purpose for the very reason.
“isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to handfeed you.” you say, in a manner of declaring an obvious fact.
“no, don’t do that.” he deadpans. ( he’s hiding his smile. )
“here comes the airplane!” you ignore him, slowly bringing the spoonful towards him.
“i can feed myself.” although he makes no visible effort to back away, he scrunches his nose. his eye travel to the porridge, then to you and back to the spoonful. he sighs.
“too bad,” you say, and sae isn’t given much choice but to oblige, “i’m gonna do it anyway.”
of course you will.
he rolls his eyes, you peer down at him expectantly, “well??”
“...well what?” his cheeks are puffed out like a hamster. but you would never say that out loud and risk your chances of seeing him like this again. you have to bite back a laugh. although you can’t resist the smile tugging at your lips.
“is it any good?” your smile grows.
“it’s... porridge. is it ever good?” he says dryly.
“yeah, but I’m handfeeding you! doesn’t being taken care of this way by the love of your life sway your heart?” you gasp dramatically, and sae lets out a weak chuckle.
“meh,” he laughs at the way your face drops from grinning like an excited child to that of a serious middle aged man. ( :D to :| )
“fine. then, enjoy it yourself.” you try to hand him the bowl, but he holds down your hands instead.
sae looks at you with a precise gaze, keeping yours on him. it’s serious and unwavering, although to a stark contrast to his cheeks and mouth. both sweetly pouted like that of a child’s. then he parts his lips, slightly so, mirroring your expectant expression from before.
“you’re really going to leave the love of your life by himself when he’s sick?” his eyes shine. a playful chuckle leaves his lips when you roll your eyes.
it’s the side effects of the medicines you’ve been forcing him to take. that must be it. but for now, sae can’t bring himself to give half a damn.
“well, i thought the love of my life didn’t need me to take care of him.” your thumb traces the corner of his mouth, sae bites it playfully. he kisses it just seconds later when you frown.
“i’m actually so sick i could die right now.” he laughs. side effects of the medicines, really.
you roll your eyes at him, bringing the spoonful to him again. “how’s the porridge now?”
“it’s meh,” he says again, ignoring the self assured smirk you wear, “but i’ll work with it.”
“i thought you could feed yourself?” you bring another spoonful to his lips, and he obliges instantly this time.
“i am the love of your life. it’s the least you could do.”
you bite back a laugh at that, sae is a little more unguarded than usual when he’s sick. it’s cute.
“baby”
“yes?”
“baby as in you’re a baby. it’s derogatory.”
it’s his turn to roll his eyes, “yeah, yeah.” he parts his lips once again.
synopsis: sae really likes having you in his lap, but doesnt know how to ask.
notes: ugh hes so smush
for whatever reason, sae loved having you in his lap.
he couldn't really figure out what was just so wonderful about it. maybe it was that he could bury his face into your back or neck, maybe it was that he could hug you closer while also being on his phone, maybe it was that you were so so close and he could smell your perfume, maybe it was that he liked how all of your weight was on him for whatever reason, maybe it was that you were just so warm and cozy that he could fall asleep on the spot, maybe it was that he felt that he could protect you with you on him like this easier, but regardless of why, he just loved it.
it only took him one time of doing it to fall in love with it. sae was just sitting on the couch, scrolling on his phone, when suddenly, you just plopped down onto his legs. you didnt say anything, you just... did it. it was small, but sae fell for you again that day, and he would continue to do so over and over again, everyday of the week, 24/7.
but back to the subject! you did it a couple times after that. one of the times, when he was gaming on his pc with a few friends, you simply crawled onto his lap all sleepy, straddled him, cuddled into his shoulder, and just... fell asleep? his heart was pounding so fast and he could feel his face burning up, but there was also something really relaxing about it. the way you just zonked out as soon as you got onto him was just so cute. he loved you. he really, really did. he gamed for another hour or so after that, before turning off his pc (carefully, as to not wake you) and falling asleep himself.
you'd only done it a very small handful of times, but it was easily one of his favorite positions with you. he wanted you to sit on his lap every single day, but as we all know, sae is not the best at expressing his feelings. so, he tried other, more subtle ways that would hopefully prompt you to do it yourself.
he would sit criss-cross applesauce or manspread in hopes that you'd just hop right on, but you never did. he would game with his chair a little further from the desk to make it easier for you to crawl on, but you never did. he'd sit down instead of lying down when he was on his phone in hopes that you'd come to sit on his lap, but you never did. it had been around a month since the last time you sat on his lap, (yes, of course he'd been keeping track. who do you think he is?) and he was growing desperate. what was this, mission impossible? he really, really wanted to hold you on his lap and just let time stand still, but alas, it didnt seem as though you were going to do it yourself. it would seem as though he would have to... ask for it himself. (he gulps at the thought) it really would be mission impossible now.
taking a deep breath, sae walked into the kitchen where you were sitting. you were lounging around in biker shorts and one of his hoodies, and you looked... so freaking cute. he just wanted to squish your cheeks and run his hands through your hair and - no! stay focused! just gotta ask. wait... how was he going to ask? was he just gonna ask for you to do it more? but what if you forgot? was he gonna ask for you to do it at that moment? but wait... you were sitting down and he wasn't. that wouldnt work! wait a minute... what if you didnt even like sitting on his lap and that was why you hadn't done it? he didnt want to make you uncomfortable! what was he gonna do?!
he pushed his thoughts out and left. he couldn't do it. he really couldn't. there was just too much at stake. and then what was he supposed to say, that he oddly really, really liked it when you sat on his lap? that sounded so weird! he couldn't do it. he collapsed on the couch, exhausted. at that moment, though, you walked in.
"hi, babe!" you said. "you wanna watch something?"
he smiled. "yeah."
you picked up the remote and stood in front of him, beginning to put on your favorite show. however, suddenly, you were pulled backwards.
"WAH! ...sae?"
sae had pulled you from the waist onto his lap and shyly nuzzled your neck. you were a bit confused, but didnt really mind.
hesitantly, he mumbled, "i really like having you on my lap like this. its nice."
you smiled. "alright. i'll keep it in mind."
you turned on the show that you two always watch together, and sighed contentedly as you leaned back into him, his arms around you tightening.
"i love you." you beamed happily.
"i love you too." he muttered back, snuggling into your shoulder. "i really, really, do."
a bittersweet short sae drabble, no warnings really
“what do you want for your birthday?” sae asks, out of the blue.
you look over at him, trying to suppress a teasing smile. “what’s with that all of a sudden?”
he stares at you for a few seconds, before turning back to look at the ocean.
there’s a quiet silence between the two of you, and you can hear all the waves crashing into each other, sounding almost like a song.
it’s oddly comforting, but that’s why sae doesn’t have to say anything for you to know what he means.
your birthday’s in two months, but sae’s leaving for spain next week.
you purse your lips as you try and muster up a half-assed response believable enough for no further questions to be asked.
because you’re vulnerable around sae. too much small talk and he’ll end up discovering what you’ve been hiding for the past 5 years that you’ve known him.
“nothing much really, maybe something that i can wear or display in my room.” you answer after a bit, and before you could think further, you decide to add, “just something i can remember you by.”
he looks over at you and scoffs, light smirk flashing his face. “you’re acting like i’m going to war.”
hearing him take your response mindlessly eases you from the rapid beating of your heart. of course he’s dense.
“yeah, you are. even the greatest in the world has fierce competition, itoshi-sama.” you tease, still looking at the ocean.
“hmm,” he thinks out loud. “but we’ll be fine. i won’t forget you or anything.”
his gaze is piercing into the side of your head now, but you still won’t do him the favour of turning your head to look at him.
take it as if he noticed your ears turning red, because he ends up saying something so out of character for him.
the smirk turns into a grin now as he asks, “are you gonna miss me that much?”
and now you’re prompted to look up at him, locking eyes with his teal ones that just have the slightest difference from his regular indifferent stare.
“yeah.” you answer him, voice so quiet so that it almost gets drowned out by the waves.
but you know he hears it, because he looks back to the ocean with bittersweet grin and faraway look in his eyes.
sae’s got a dream, and though you are his best friend, he’s not letting anything stop him from going across the world for it.
so you’ve expected it to turn out like this anyways. that this love of yours would turn out unrequited, since the first time he caught your attention.
yeah, you’d wait for him. you’re not even sure if you could even go a whole lifetime without forgetting him.
but you’re not sure if he’d ever feel the same, because his yearning for football surpasses anything he’d ever feel for another person.
so all you can do is just support him from the sidelines, foolishly getting lost in his presence, for that’s all you’ll ever be in sae’s story.
as a supporting character in his journey to become the best, it feels as if all your answers were already set in stone, like a game dialogue that you could not alter.
and despite how much you want to go against the rules and tell him right now,
୧ ˚₊ EVERYBODY’S FALLING IN LOVE ( AND I’M FALLING BEHIND ) — itoshi sae
he has never been a lover, but the day he met you, he finally found what love felt like.
itoshi sae has never been a lover, because love has never been his cup of tea. it certainly not his thing to love, or do anything related to this word; he just dislikes it, for it leaves a sour taste in his mind. he has seen people around him fall in love, be so infatuated with the very thought of it, while dopey and lovesick grins stay on their faces.
and in that sense, itoshi sae is not a lover.
love to him is like a sour candy, too sour to contemplate that it might leave your taste buds numb for a while. love to him is fragile, and it is not in him to take care of delicate things, and a thing like that, he might just back out as is. he doesn’t like the way makes you weak, he’d rather be brave and have a harsh front rather than a soft and gentle one.
love is for the weak in his dictionary, it is for people who don’t have any strengths, to him love is just a mere words, a meaningless and a waste of time, to itoshi sae love is just a hindrance, nothing more or nothing less.
but sometimes a change of perspective could bring one to have a different view, and that was what brought itoshi sae to think about the world love again, a new point of view he gathered through a dreamy lens, one that was conjured up by the likes of you, a certain someone that brought him to like the way love felt.
a lot changed the day he met you, quite like a slap to his face ( literally ).
flashing cameras and crowding paparazzis are all he sees, they are quite blinding for sae, but he is used to bright lights and this lifestyle, having been a self made prodigy, he was surrounded by cameras and paparazzis. but he hated having eyes on him, for then he couldn’t have a life out of this captured world.
it’s always an article where he has been shammed or either an article which quite literally ensues rumours of him being a womaniser — having a new girl at his arm every week. it leaves a bitter taste in his mind to even think about such absurdities, so this time he was by himself at the latest football gala, a party for all the new club members to be exact.
sae finds it hard to be in the focus of everyone, men and women alike all like to be around him, but women are more to throw themselves at him, he despises the very fact such women exist. strained and fake smiles are all he shows, jaw clenched as he talks with men with mindset’s so different, five glasses of wine have been emptied by him since the time of arrival.
so soon he finds himself wanting fresh air, a breather from all this chaos, he finds a way out as soon as the lights dim and all focus on the stage in the room. he is silent as a predator is, and as good as an escape artist to make such an escapade but seems like the gods were not in his right, for as soon as he turns the corner, his cheek meets with a hand and it begins to sting.
never in a million years had itoshi sae thought of getting smacked in the entirety of the premiere.
“oh my gosh! i’m so sorry! i thought you were a stalker or something!” it’s a heavy accent he realises but the stinging on his cheek overlooks anything that happens around him. he shakes his head focusing at the voice at hand, but his heart almost leaps out of his chest at the sight before him.
( e.c ) eyes that gleam with worry as it seems to etch itself upon your features, you bite your lip in distress as you take notice of the red mark on his cheek, but his eyes are set on the way you bite your lip and he gulps, heart thumping in his chest. you observe his face that is just looking at you in awe, and as he looks into your eyes he realises you have no clue of who he was.
“i’m so so sorry!” the voice of yours breaks his stupor and the ache upon his cheek returns — it sure was a hard slap. you gulp as you see him fix his jaw, you swallow hard, the way he was suited up to the nines made you figure out that he was much more than just a creep; he looked famous.
your blood runs cold at the thought. your heart racing in your chest, as you await any loud gesture or shout for guards, or anything related to you being thrown out made your head spin.
“it’s alright, i was the one that turned the corner unannounced.” and sae is bamboozled at the words that slip past him, he looks at you, his eyes wide, and he notices your tense demeanour relax. a heavy sigh escaping briefly past your lips as you look up at him with a smile.
“but i-, um, i still apologise for the inconvenience.” you awkwardly chuckle, not cool [name], not cool, a voice rings in your head as you bite your tongue. it is then you make eye contact with him, his eyes are quite unlike any, and to him, yours were better than any. sae likes the way your eyes look like a hazy dream, he likes the way his reflection looks back at him through your eyes.
and in the moment he realised that he liked the way you looked at him, for you saw him for him, and not for the famous persona of his.
and since then, it’s been encounters here and there, finding each other at places you thought you’d never, bumping shoulder in areas one could have never fathomed. it turns from light glances to lingering ones, timid laughter turns into ones filled with nothing but genuine joy, small talks turn into conversation that ring through coffee shops.
then one hangout at his place, turns into a date at a place you like. then one date turns into two, then three, then four and soon they turn into long nights spend at your cost apartment, to ranging from movie nights at his. longing touches turn into never letting go of you, kisses that were once pressed onto his cheeks begin to linger upon his lips.
but itoshi sae was not a lover, so he never named the thing you had with him, but he liked that way you felt in his arms, he liked the way you fit right with him, he liked the taste of your lips on his, he liked the way you were his, yet not for him to keep.
for love was not meant for him, so then why did his heart ache at the thought of seeing you go. the mere thought of you being with another was like a nightmare to him, the very thought of you not being his, was utter torture for the said male.
yet here he was, a coward, he once again was a little boy who was scared to face the world to early, and love was once again becoming the victor and he could not accept defeat. he has watched many flourish within love, yet it wasn’t in him to be able to bear this sweet fruit of entanglement.
“you’re kind of stupid, you know that sae.” and for a moment, oliver aiku sounded right, he sounded to be much more truthful in the heat of the moment than he ever could be, much more better than itoshi sae was what oliver aiku had become in that instance. “certainly you look like a coward to me right now.”
and those were the last words, sae had heard from oliver before he was up on his feet, they ached as he rushed to your house, panting and huffing as he finds the door to your house to be right before him, shaky hands tremble in fear to press the doorbell, heart racing, he liked you, so what was there to fear in that.
as soon as his trembling hands press the bell and the door to your house opens, it takes everything in him to stop him from pressing his lips against yours. you were the only thing matter to him the most, in present and in future, you’ll be the sole thing that he’d like to call his forever and ever.
that fickle day itoshi sae had learnt so much more. he had learnt that love was not for the weak but for people who knew what strengthened them to the core. he learned that love was not bitter or sour, it was just missing from the right person and when you fall in love with the one that you know is true, you’ll know how sweet is the taste of the fruit.
and for the first time in forever, he wasn’t falling behind in any prospect anymore, especially in the case of love, for he had you.
the sole thing the brought him to a purpose he could have never known.
i like a chase, and itoshi sae is a man who certainly hates the idea of love but internally wishes to find just the right one ;)
NOIRFLMS 2023 ! all rights reserved - plagiarism is a crime , do not translate my works without permission. REBLOG MORE PLEASE !
tw: angst, implicit smut… subpar + self indulging <//3. i read it once so idk… likeokah. mdni
thankyou to @leviismybby @keiskyutie for being the bestt babies and teaching me how to write smut💀 ilys 🤍
sae itoshi doesn’t love you, as his strong hands grip your hips, your moans echoing through the room, —he sets the pace kneading into your plushy flesh— your hands gripping the folds of the white sheet, head buried in pillow, he hides away from your gaze.
sae doesn’t fuck you in missionary/mating press, he's afraid his eyes might giveaway his true feelings, the moment they meet yours he'd hate the way you'd look at him, your eyes glimmering with love and affection.. the affection he deprives himself. the same that his heart has yearned each time your hands accidentally brushed washing over the facades he puts up.
sae doesn’t lace your fingers with his, because if he did you'd hold it better and never let it go; daunting him of a possibility where you won't be reach out for him anymore or perhaps when you'll beg him to hold it omce more. he slips off, fisting your wrists as you ask for him to trust that you'll catch him.
sae deafens himself to your sweet moans and melodic cries of I Love Yous, his name slipping off your lips effortlessly.
he'd hate the way you’d run your hands through his hair… tugging, eyes fluttering as you’d clench around his girth, your touch burns him from the inside, as your vulnerabilities seeps through naked. he’d blind himself to your smile, telling himself one day he'd be the reason you'll lose it.
you'd be a naked soul under him ready to give your all, without asking for an ounce in return. the moeent where his head would touch yours, all his weapons turning usless against the urge to hold you close, to have your hearts beating as one. he'd find himself at mercy of your peace. the intimacy of the moment driving away his fears. he'd hate the urge to kiss your soft lips, for it may unveil histrue self. its too weak, you're too weak to bring his walls down he chants like a prayer while a ray peaks through the dark alleys of his crooked heart.
you’re not enough, you wont ever be, no matter what lies you feed yourself as he lays next to you, giving away not even bits to hold onto. he shuts you out. you wont be the one to hear his aching heart beat. "love need not be a two way street sae" you whisper to his back, inaudible.
you eat your own words, a hand hanging in mid air, maybe one day he'll let someone in, someone capable to fight his inner demons… someone he’d reach out to. and you widthdraw your hand, “its too early…”, “…he's too broken” you're not the one.
yoo! Rin buying you almost every jewelry he sees because you adore those shiny tiny things <33
-ali :)
A/N: :0 Aliii!!! YES!! So I my thoughts kinda strayed...so here's some thoughts on how both Sae and Rin would spoil you (f! coded reader)
Rin loves to spoil you, he doesn't spend much money on himself and prefers spoiling you with luxurious things and experiences (like trips around the world) loves seeing you put on jewelry he bought you (especially if he was the one that picked it out) Rin looooves to see his lil R when your dress rises up just the tiniest bit. The tiny letter is hidden beneath the hem of your dress, only visible ever so slightly as it sways with your every move. Rin doesn't need everyone to see, it's enough for him to know that it's there
I can see both of the Itoshi's getting your initials tattooed, but idk...I'm feeling it more for Sae 🤷♀️ (only once it's rly serious tho) would get your tiny initial tatted onto the inside of his ring finger (so you're always with him, since he can't wear any jewelry on the pitch.)
Honestly, I see Sae as the type of guy that would get you a choker with his initial because he's just possessive like that 🤷♀️ he wants everyone to know that you're his
While we're already on the topic of them spoiling you, I also do believe that both of them love getting you expensive and luxurious clothes for a date night out, and that they would send you money to get your nails done (message on cashapp with 100 bucks, telling you which color to get, and to use the rest to treat yourself. Sae likes dark red, and Rin doesn't care too much for colors, but he does like soft pinks, because they look good with everything and look effortlessly pretty, like you🤭)
Sae puts extra care into giving you attention while he's abroad, by sending you flowers or money so you can buy yourself something nice (preferably lingerie, to surprise him with once he's back) :))
sae's ears perk up at the call of your voice. it sounds hesitant, almost a little desperate and most definitely defeated, he smirks internally. “you said something?” he asks, amusement dancing in his eyes as you simply refuse to spare him a glance.
“hmm? what was that?” he questions again, having heard you perfectly fine the first time. it's cute, he thinks. the way you glare at him for making you repeat your words.
“i said, open this for me.” you sigh, holding out a jar, eyes set on the lid with a sweet pout gracing your lips.
“oh,” he takes it, but doesn't really put any effort in trying to unlid it any time sooner. you wait, patience running thin after a mere seconds as you repeat, “sae, come on, i need it right now.”
this time he doesn't hide his smirk, he wants you to see the victorious glint in his eyes as he looks up at you again, batting his lashes in boyish way, something that you've called ‘charming’ before— almost tempting you to say he looks pretty right now because even when you're mad at him, he's still the most prettiest man you've ever seen.
you wouldn't dare though— not inflate his already big any more than it is.
“say please.”
“what? ”
“say please,” he repeats, an annoyingly amused chuckle leaving his lips.
itoshi sae is grinning at you in all his untouched glory on a random saturday morning because you asked him to open a jar for you especially after he had been eyeing you struggling to open it for the past fifteen minutes. you're sure the reason he's wearing that self-assured smirk is because the moments leading up to the aftermath of your argument with him, you have been avoiding him all morning.
you haven't been talking to him, leaving all his texts on seen, even going as far as leaving the room whenever he steps in— that one definitely wound him a little.
“i'm helping you out, saying please is common courtesy.”
“sae, I'm not in the mood to joke around.” you say with finality, finally meeting his eyes.
“who says I'm joking?”
“are you really okay with eating bland pasta tonight?” you scowl.
“are you really okay with continuing this attitude? you've been ignoring me all day, and you say I'm petty.” sae places the jar on the table, no longer of any significance to the conversation.
“oh, that's because you are. you're the reason I'm ignoring you.” you cross your arms.
“i said i was sorry, quit being mad. i didn't mean it.” he sighs, taking one step closer to you—he's testing the waters of your patience.
“sounded like you meant it alright.” your voice is a low whisper, and sae wants nothing more than to go back in time and knock some sense in his past self.
“people say things they don't mean when they're mad. i didn't either. what i did mean was that I'm sorry. really.” it's laced with enough regret to sound convincing, coaxing you to take a step closer to him — albeit, begrudgingly. your anger beginning to dissipate at the tenderness of his caress when sae brings his hand to brush his fingers over your cheekbones.
when he takes another careful step towards you and you don't step back, sae immediately envelopes you in his arms, rubbing circles on the small of your back as he hears you whisper, “you're mean,”
he laughs, “i know.”
“an asshole, a jerk, a stuck-up bastard—”
“yeah, okay, i get the picture.”
“dont just walk out on me like that, i don't ever wanna go to bed angry again.” you say at last, arms coming to drape around his shoulders. a sense of relief washes over him.
“right, i promise. i love you.”
sae basks in the silence that follows, he thinks it's okay you didn't say you love him too immediately. he's still trying to figure out if he deserves it or not. but when he hears you mutter a quick ‘i love you too ’, feeling all the love you hold for him carefully wrapped up in the syllables, tasting sweet on your lips when they meet his— he's glad he tightened the lid on the jar this morning.
