Connie thinks reminisces about Samuel and wonders how it all went wrong
Word Count: 900+
Warnings: Season 4 Spoilers, Canon Character Death, Mentions of Murder
Tags: Trans!Samuel, Samuel x Connie, Angst, Fluff, Unsafe Binding, Hidden Relationship (?), Slight Conmin
A/N: hello! this is my first ever fanfic i’ve ever completely finished and it’s the first i’m posting one anywhere! i may eventually cross post this to ao3 but it’s not up as of the time of posting this. anyways samnie has been so dear to my heart recently after i rewatched season 4 so here you go! oh btw the title is a ref to “sign of the times”
Special Thank You: @levihandynasty and @sneak-pieck ! @levihandynasty helped me figure out a ship name for these two and inspired me to write samuel as trans, and they both encouraged me to post it! also thank you to everyone in the aot discord server for encouraging me to write !!
Connie’s ears ring with the shot that ended Samuel’s life. He was on the flying boat now, miles and miles away from Paradis. He’d dreamed of this before, of going back to Marley for another diplomatic mission. Of showing Samuel things he could never imagine.
“So it’s like frozen milk?” Samuel laughs, scrunching up his nose in disgust. “Sounds awful!” he smiles. It’s the first time Connie has seen him genuinely smile since he got back from Marley.
“No not really,” Connie replies, chuckling. “It’s more like cream but thicker,” he scratches the back of his neck. “I guess it’s hard to explain…” Connie looks nervously over at the horses as if they could help him. Connie and Samuel have made it a habit to hang around the stables. There were some picnic tables and benches that made for a good place to relax. Besides feeding times and the occasional scout mission, the stables were pretty empty of humans. It was a place where they could enjoy each other’s company in private. Despite Connie and Samuel never labeling their little meet ups as dates, both of them knew that their relationship hasn’t been platonic in a long time.
Samuel turns his head to look at Connie sitting next to him on the bench. “It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re home…” Sam whispers, barely audible.
“I told you I would be Sammie, it was just a diplomatic mission,” Connie says, reaching for Samuel’s hand before deciding against it.
Samuel grabs Connie’s hand, “Don’t get shy on me now Connie. Not after we’ve planned out our entire lives together.” Connie blushes, remembering the many times they’ve talked about getting a cottage and raising livestock together. Both Samuel and Sasha adored meat, and after Marley was defeated they’d have the time to settle down on their own farm. No more rations, just fresh meat and vegetables. Connie tries to tell himself his dreams of living on a farm with his friends and Sam are unrealistic, but without it he doesn’t know if he’d have the strength to keep fighting.
“You’re right Sam, we both know I’ve got nothing to hide from you,” he squeezes Samuel’s hand. Connie leans over and lays his head on Samuel’s shoulder. They fall into a happy silence, the only sound before my their faint breathing.
“Oh!” Connie shouts, shooting straight up like a rod and startling Samuel. “I just remembered!” I met a man in Marley!”
The side eye from Sam is cutting. “You scared the hell out of me and all the horses because you met some man?” Samuel rolls his eyes. The horses seem unbothered by Connie’s outburst.
“No he wasn’t just some man, he was, well he was like you. I mean- no one’s like you…” he blushes harder, the hand holding Samuel’s feeling sweatier. “But he was born like you, ya know,” Connie shrugs.
“What the hell does that mea- oh. Oh!” Samuel cuts himself off as his eyes widen in understanding.
“Yeah,” Connie continues, “he said that there are doctors in Marley, and in the rest of the world, that can make your chest flat with surgery.” Connie looks at Samuel nervously. He knows that Sam has trouble trusting anyone who’s even been to Marley.
“Wow,” Samuel breathes, stunned.
“Yeah,” Connie finally meets Samuel’s eyes, “I mean it’s really expensive, but we’ll figure it out.”
Sam nods, “I really don’t like the idea of some Marleyan taking a blade to my chest though…”
Connie squeezes his hand again, “I know, but there are doctors that aren’t Marleyan! I think we should try Sammie. The guy I met also said that the way you’re bandaging your chest now can actually break your ribs…” Connie studies Samuel’s face. He feels like he can never tell what the other man is thinking. Samuel let’s go of Connie’s hand to touch his side, no doubt thinking about the bruises that already litter his chest. “As soon as our borders are open for more international travel we can start looking for a doctor,” Connie places a comforting hand on Samuel’s knee.
“You’ll be there? For the surgery?” he asks, meeting Connie’s eyes once again. Connie can see a mixture of fear and hope in his eyes and can’t help but pull him into a hug.
“Of course I will be Sammie,” he sighs into Sam’s shoulder, being careful not to put pressure on his chest. “I know we don’t really say it a lot but, y’know…”
Sam pulls back from the hug and looks the other man in his eyes, “I love you too Connie.”
Connie can still remember the warm smile Samuel gave him that day, but now he can’t scrub the image of his skull blasted open from his mind.
“He told me to wait…” Connie mutters, his words more a stream of consciousness than a sentence. “He could have- we could have-“ he begins to sob again. “We could have figured something out, he could have come with us…” Connie can barely breathe when he feels Armin’s hand on his shoulder.
“You did what you had to,” he says, his words barely audible over the roar of the flying boat. Connie can see the tears in Armin’s eyes. He doesn’t know if Armin knows how much Samuel truly meant to him. He doesn’t know if he wants him to know after what he’s done. “I- I’m glad you’re okay Armin,” his voice breaks as Armin pulls him into a hug. He closes his eyes and tries to forget the image of his lover’s blood staining the pavement.
