Confession time for people with PDs, EDs, and all of the scary disorders. Don't be an ableist weirdo, some people's struggles just don't look nice.
Anybody else incapable of looking at what other people make without immediately categorizing it on - better [in quality] than [what] you [make] / - lesser [in quality] than you [make] (and very rarely: - [of] similar [quality] to [what] you [make]) and feeling stuff accordingly? I love when seeing other people's stuff makes me feel inspired to do my stuff as well, but I find that only happens when the person's reality is too different from my own (specifically: they're much older than me), otherwise i WILL feel like shit for seeing someone my age or under doing better than me and I WILL feel superior/arrogant (ooh scary nasty feeling I know! Blame my brain tho!) If I'm doing something better than other people near my age or older than me. Knowing that there are people doing "worse"/"lesser" than me actually helps soothe myself when I go into a spiral about other people being better than me. I kinda hate that (except when I hate the person themselves, for being a bigot or annoying or whatnot, yeah ofc I'm better than you at [thing], you're a loser little bitch!) I wish I could be the kind, sweet, all loving person I've always wanted to appear to people, but I'm too angry for that and I'm finally beginning to accept that and adjust the ways I fight for a better world to how I am. I may never be the super sugary sweet teacher/colleague that's all fluflly and lovable, but I'll never stop fighting and organizing to make injustices stop.
Since I'm always the one who has to fix problems, I'll see them through and I'll see that it's all done right.