Loneliness is over - Oscar Diaz
Summary: (YN) takes care of Cesar and that triggers a series of events
Tags: a little fluff , a lot of angst
Warnings: some blood, some violence
A/N: I don´t know what is this, i was feeling sad so this is what came out, i hope you enjoy(? it, English isn´t my first language,
-Oh shit, you scared me -you said when you saw the figure in your window, you opened it and made the boy enter quickly, before someone saw him.
-I'm sorry for coming this late but I couldn't stay at Ruby's house anymore.
-And where are you going to stay? -You said taking out the dinner you had prepared for the boy, Cesar shrugged and started eating while you were looking at him from across the table, while drinking a tea.
-You will stay here then-before he could answer you had already got up and were closing the door and the windows with a lock-It´s not a question, if you stay on the street they can kill you, nobody will look for you here, not at least in a few days.
-Oscar will be angry when he finds out.
-I don't care, you are a kid, they want to kill you, throwing you into the street has been too much, even for him.
Cesar said nothing and continued eating while you continued with your tea in silence, the boy seemed not to have eaten in days and it was clear that he had not slept either, so you got up and prepared your brother's room, you had not touched anything at all, you just went in to clean, ventilate the room and left, that was the routine, everything had remained the same for years,even the broken part of the door where your brother had kicked years ago... but it was time to change something, you undid the bed and changed the sheets so Cesar could sleep there, you didn't think about it too much and tried to not to look around you , opened the closet and took out a T-shirt and sports pants for the boy to change.
-You will sleep here-you said giving him the clothes and pushing him into the bathroom-Take a shower before going to sleep.
Cesar rolled his eyes because you were treating him like a child but he thanked you before closing the door.
You went into your own room to put on pajamas, shorts and a tank top, because the last few days it was too hot, your plan was to stay awake a while longer reading, but that plan was ruined when you heard that someone was calling the door.
As soon as you left the room Cesar was also there, hesitating about what to do and looking at you with a worried expression, you went to the door and looked through the peephole.
-Go to your room- you whispered - and don't go out.
The boy obeyed and before the door was banged again he was already inside the room.
-It's 1 AM, I hope you have some good reason to be here-you said crossing your arms under the door in front of Oscar, he ignored you and entered the house, sitting on the sofa.
- Friends visit each other at normal hours
-Yeah but .... have you had a date? -He said looking at the plate on the table.
-You hate tomato -he said looking at the plate that clearly had tomato remains- if you have had a date that's fine, you can tell me, I would like to meet your boyfriend, i´m not going to scare him, te lo juro -he said lying on the sofa and watching you pick up the plate to put it on the sink, you stood there leaning for a few minutes and turned to see how a cigarette was lit.
It hurt that the thought of you with another man did not bother him a bit, there was no jealousy, because of course he didn´t see you like that, but you did and with each passing day it was more difficult to continue being just a friend, watching how all the women in the world passed in front of you, you were convinced that even if you were on a desert island with no one else, Oscar would find some other option as long as you continued to be "just a friend"
-Why did you came Oscar? -You said sitting next to him and taking the cigar , for you, while he put his arm around your shoulder.
-The house is empty - you didn't need to hear anything else, you knew how he felt, so you just gave him back the cigarette and hugged him, while he stroked your hair and your arm while he finished smoking, you longed for that so much, you loved Oscar with all your soul and heart, you wanted to be like this with him every day, as a couple, a lover and that was never going to happen.
-I miss Karina- he confessed, taking his hand away from you for a few seconds and then coming back with the caresses, you didn´t move but you tensed, Karina was his ex-girlfriend, the girl was his girlfriend for two years, before he entered Prison, after that she went to New York -Having a partner to get home to, thinking about starting a family, a future, I miss that.
You didn´t know when you had started to cry but your face was soaked and tears did not stop flowing from your eyes, you couldn´ t speak either because you were sure that if you opened your mouth only sobs would come out, although all attempts to hide the crying were in vain , because Oscar touched your face and noticed the tears.
-It´s everything all right?-He asked sitting up straight on the sofa and separating from you, to be able to see your face, you denied and let out the crying, he hugged you and tried to calm you, not knowing that you were crying for him.
-Can you sleep with me tonight? -Oscar nodded and left a kiss on your forehead.
Oscar walked around your room while you got comfortable in bed, looking at all the things that adorned the walls and shelves
-Why do you keep having this? -He said looking at a necklace that he had given you in your quinceañera, it was made of plastic and had a cross and your name next to a small ghost, a ghost that was supposed to represent him.
-It's cute, am I supposed to get rid of my birthday gifts?-You said getting up and taking it off to put it on.
- It is not that, but it is very small, I mean, in your quiceañera they gave you better things, this is childish.
-I look bad? -You said posing with the necklace while sitting on the bed and Oscar smiled, lying on the side facing the window, with his arms under his head -I think I'm going to use it again -you said laying and using his chest as pillow
You´ve slept together like that more than once, but that night you hugged him more than ever and he let you do it.
His loving caresses never stopped, your hair, your arms, your back, your face...and you liked to go over his tattoos,like if you were drawing them, most people considered them vulgar but you thought they had charm, between caresses you both fell asleep without saying a word.
The next morning you woke up alone, hearing screams in the living room and it was at that moment that everything began to fall apart.
-Oscar stop - you yelled, pulling him away from Cesar to stop him from pushing the boy.
-When I told you to leave the Santos, that included people related to us.
-I told him to stay-you shouted at him to attract his attention-he didn´t want to but he had no other option-you tried to reason with the man but he looked at you as if you had committed the greatest betrayal.
-I'm sorry, it's fine, I'll leave and I won't come back here-Cesar looked at you with regret and took the bag with his things.
-You can't keep treating him like that Oscar, if they kill him you won't forgive yourself.
-If Cesar dies it will be his fault, because he did something stupid, like your brother, protecting him served nothing more than to lengthen his death and your mother´s-he spat those words in your face and you had enough, you didn´t answer, you only walked to the door and opened it.
-Get out of my house please-You said looking down, you didn't want to see the man you were in love saying those things.
-It's the truth, you didn't listen to anyone, you decided to protect him and that killed your family and now you´re using people to not to feel alone and not feel guilt, Cesar is not your brother,stop with the fantasies.
His words stuck like knives in the chest and you didn´t understand why he was being so cruel, Cesar, who was watching you, feeling guilty for the situation, decided to go out, not stay to see the discussion that his presence had caused, but he remained in the front garden waiting to make sure that didn't end badly.
-Go away,- you repeated to Oscar- All the bullshit you have done with the excuse of protecting your brother and you have thrown him into the street at the slightest opportunity, at least I tried.
- (YN) - he screamed your name- You didn't try, you signed your mother's death warrant-Those words were the last thing you heard before you saw it all red, you pushed Oscar out into the street and slapped him across the face and chest.
-Go and never come back, I can't believe I was in love with a bastard like you, don't come near me ever again -your screams could being heard all over the neighborhood, you couldn't see Oscar's expression well because your eyes were blurred , your body shaked with rage and pain, you felt how he grabbed you by the arms, trying to apologize because he had just realized everything that had just come out of his mouth, but you let go and walked back home.
Before you could get to the door, you heard a noise, a shot, you weren't sure because your ears were ringing and suddenly you felt a pain in your chest and the voices of Cesar and Oscar were at your side, while you fell to the ground, familiar hands and arms held you, even when you still didn´t see well, you knew it was Oscar, who was holding and caressing you trying to calm you like the night before, of course you would recognize his caresses, even in that situation, in which you just realized that you had been shot.
You laughed, because after all, Oscar was right- You were right-you let out a whisper-you were right after all.
-No, no, no, no,-he repeated over and over again as he held you in his arms, waiting for the ambulance to arrive, "it's okay, breathe and be fine, i wasn't right, it's a lie, nothing I've said is right, you're going to recover and....
-Don't worry-the voice came out faltering-It´s okay if I die, at least the loneliness is over.
Oscar hugged you and you smiled at him, you felt like you were fading more and more and you started to close your eyes- Don´t fucking say that, you have always had me, please, open your eyes and look at me, (YN) (YN) Please, I love you.
He had always been the one to get you out of your loneliness, from the first day of high school, when he appeared running and started screaming to wait for him to get to class together, despite having gone to the same school you had never spoken, but that day changed everything.
At lunch he always ate your tomato because you didn´t like it and you ate his onion , when he had no girlfriend or girl, you went to the dances together, when he started skipping classes to be a full time Santo, you went to his house, without your mother knowing it, to update him on everything while he experimented his culinary recipes, when he started dating Karina, you started dating a boy named Carlos, it was Oscar who comforted you , after your breakup, when your mother and brother died, he stayed with you for a week and when Karina broke up with him on the phone when he entered prison, you went to see him to cheer him up and you sent him all his favorite sweets, when he got out of prison you went to the beach together and you were there all day, enjoying your mutual company and his freedom.
Of course you had always had him and he had always had you, until that moment. The last thing you did was smile at his words and your memories, you caressed his face one last time, it was wet, wet with real tears and suddenly you felt like all the air that was left in your lungs was fading and you could only close your eyes to see it all black, it was over, over in Oscar´s arms.
He pressed your lips leaving a kiss and that was the last thing you could feel.
