#second parent adoption

[wellesleyunderground]

To have equal rights as parents, some same-sex couples adopt their own kids (article featuring Hannah Ellenson ‘08)

https://www.timesofisrael.com/to-have-equal-rights-as-parents-some-same-sex-couples-adopt-their-own-kids/

[mamaequeerstrian-blog]

Very exciting here in the M. household! This morning we’ll be going to the court house and after Seven and a Half long months Melissa will be officially adopting Scarlett! She’s already on the birth certificate but we wanted the second parent adoption just be safe.

[losttoy]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE 21 March 2014 Marriage Equality Comes to Michigan Historic ruling by Judge Friedman in DeBoer v Snyder legalizes same-sex marriage in Michigan DETROIT – Today, Judge Friedman of the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan ruled that Michigan's ban on same-sex marriages as unconstitutional after hearing closing arguments. The DeBoer v Snyder and Schuette trial began on February 25 and ended on March 7. While Michigan's Attorney General is expected to appeal the decision, the verdict allows county clerks in Michigan to immediately begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. "Today is a historic day for equality in Michigan! Equality Michigan is ready and eager to help hundreds of LGBT families in Michigan finally embrace marriage equality. We appreciate what the DeBoer-Rowse family and their legal team have done for LGBT families in Michigan. Michiganders are ready for an end to the second-class treatment of LGBT families and want the nation to know we are not a state that values hate over equality. The State of Michigan's lawyers failed to prove that any harm will be caused by allowing April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse to marry, and to adopt their three children. If anything, their witnesses' often conflicting and sometimes vile remarks only reinforced that the state's ban is harming families like the one April and Jayne have created together," said Emily Dievendorf, executive director of Equality Michigan. Dievendorf continued, "Judge Friedman's ruling will have a profoundly positive impact on the lives of thousands of families in Michigan. We are proud of the case mounted by the DeBoer-Rowse team and are pleased that Judge Friedman came down firmly on the right side of history. Whatever challenges emerge to this decision, Equality Michigan is committed to ensuring all LGBT families have equality under the law, and we will continue our relentless efforts until that dream is realized." “We filed this case to stand up for each other, for our family and for all families in the state of Michigan,” said DeBoer. “Nothing says family like a legal document that says we’re married. All we’ve wanted, all along, is the same rights everyone else has. After all the evidence was presented, we won our case – and now, Michigan is on the right side of history.” On January 23, 2012, private lawyers filed a federal lawsuit in the 6th Circuit on behalf of April DeBoer and Jayne Rowse, who were seeking the freedom to jointly adopt their three children who they raised as foster moms. Michigan law prevents unmarried couples from jointly adopting children. On August 29, 2012, Judge Friedman expanded the lawsuit to challenge the state's ban on same-sex marriage in the state explaining that the constitutional amendment prohibiting the couple from adopting their children is also what prohibits the couple - and all same-sex couples in Michigan - from marrying. After hearing arguments on October 16, 2013, the judge announced a full trial would commence. Hundreds showed up at the Theodore Levin US Courthouse to show their support for the DeBoer-Rowse family and marriage equality in Michigan. Same-sex couples around Michigan are prepared to marry. Equality Michigan and our partner organizations have helped numerous county clerks and over 100 faith leaders prepare to help the couples. The organization's online Marriage Equality Center helps connect LGBT couples with faith leaders and find out if their county clerk has begun issuing licenses, it is available at: www.equalitymi.org/marriage Equality Michigan, the only statewide advocacy and anti-violence organization serving Michigan's lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) communities, has been providing resources to LGBT families seeking equality for over 20 years. The group is coordinating a coalition of organizations working to protect marriage equality to Michigan.  Equality Michigan has made a long-term commitment to supporting LGBT families, and will continue to work with the organizations they partnered with for this effort - Affirmations, Freedom to Marry, Inclusive Justice, Michigan Roundtable for Diversity & Inclusion, and Michigan UU Social Justice Network - to maintain the list of clergy after the conclusion of the DeBoer v Snyder and Schuette case. ### Equality Michigan has worked passionately for over 20 years to achieve full equality and respect for all people in Michigan regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. For more information, visit www.equalitymi.org.

[kalisteg]

it blows my mind how much hate there is in this world.

Today I started my internship by reading an Op-Ed piece written by the executive director of the organization, Family Equality Council. As i continued on, I was interested what others had to say about the piece so i started reading the comments below. 

I was nearly brought to tears by the rude comments that others had. I will never understand why someone would purposely seek out these pieces to just rip these people apart. One comment that really stuck out to me was when someone stated that the writer should be hung.

I can not believe that I live in a word with such hate for people that identify as LGBTQ. If you want to take a look at the op-ed piece here's the link, but I warn you not to look at the comments of the readers.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all"

http://www.newsday.com/opinion/oped/blau-why-same-sex-couples-need-two-parent-adoption-rights-1.7134688

[blackmetalrosettes]

looking at changing the last name of a minor and an unmarried woman in NC

also looking at second parent adoption in the US.

any help or info anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated.

[dhlegal01]

If you’ve committed yourselves to joint parenting, the agreement should specify that although only one of you is the legal parent, you both consider yourselves parents of your child with all the rights and responsibilities that come with parenting. If you have questions about adopting a child through lesbian or gay adoption procedures, our family law attorneys assist same-sex couples with second parent adoptions to ensure both the parent and child have the full protection of the law.

[genderqueerbreeder-blog]

privilege and what i've earned

today i received one of the four books i've recently ordered:

and while this one is for both of us, it really is mostly for me.

mind you, i'm just in the introduction of this book and i'm already fascinated, alienated, proud, and eager. as i'm reading, my own history as a queer person is bonding with the history of the glbtq movement over the last thirty or so years - with my first ten years of being an out and proud queer being an activist for visibility and rights of my community.

and now here i am pregnant, by accident, and dating a cis-gendered to-the-outside-world-straight-identifying male. we have no plans to get married, but by the de facto biology of our parts we are this baby's parents. the state can't take those rights away. so much privilege rests on me as i'm realizing what i'm going through because of who i'm dating at the moment.

i identify as genderqueer, i prefer a pronoun most people stumble over. i want queer community for myself as a pregnant person, for myself as a queer parent and for our child to have community as a queer spawn. (google tobi hill-meyer for more information about this awesome term that she introduced me to) i can't speak for nhp if he is going to want community in that way, but i would love for him to be a part of this with me and our child. my queerness is permanent.

if i were to still be in a relationship with someone that didn't produce the sperm to my eggs, and we wanted children, we would have so many other situations that we would have to prepare ourselves for that nhp and i just get to walk on through. our relationship and status as parents-to-be is socially acceptable and nowhere to be found on outlaw radar.

this i am not used to, since i have always been in relationships with another outwardly queer person, and we were always a blip on the outskirts of mainstream society's radar. fuck that, obviously i still am, and we are, but let's keep this to glbtq - not kink or poly or any of that. i feel that i'm assimilating into more privilege that i haven't really earned, nor do i want.

in my quest to find queer parents community as my pregnancy progresses, and once the baby is born, i hope that i'm welcomed for who i am, who we are, and not who my partner is or isn't. that we are able to bond over the many other aspects of parenthood and childhood and being a family.

now, as to what i have earned:

a transfer at my place of employment. i've not really been able to keep up in my department because the job is just becoming too much for me. i haven't been feeling well for the better part of the last few weeks and it's becoming clear to everyone at work that it's likely due to how physical my job is. my body has felt worse in the afternoons and that's when my current position is busiest. i haven't wanted to let anyone down, so i've pushed myself in the mornings to keep up so i don't have to get a second person to help me as often, but that's been running me down to the point that i've had to leave early because i'm exhausted or just dealing with my body's own version of morning sickness.

in our meeting today, my managers and i thought if we transfer me to a less demanding position, i'll probably be able to keep working a full eight hour day and keep up with the demands of that new position. in order for me to get that transfer, we would have to transfer one co-worker from receiving to shipping, and one co-worker from order filling to receiving. (the co-worker in receiving is already trained in shipping making that transfer an easy one, and the co-worker in order filling is a veteran who knows the warehouse and can easily keep up with receiving/stocking.)

that's how much my company wants me to stay through my pregnancy, and keep working as much as possible. i really do feel valued where i'm working in that they are willing to move around my co-workers, and my co-workers are willing to move around!, in order to accommodate me and my limitations. the other women who have been with this company and been pregnant while working, did not work in my department and never had the physical strain that my job has on me. this is all new for everyone.

regardless of the fact that i am a great worker, and have earned the respect of the people in my company to keep me on and make these adjustments, i know that with this is also privilege. i am fortunate to be able to keep my job, while other people who become pregnant are not.

i have said my prayers and blessings from the day i found out i was pregnant and will continue to do so for i am blessed.

[thequeertails-blog]

And then I read stories like this and my heart swells a little bit and I remember that love is never wrong.  Bigots can do a lot of things to try to obscure and mar that, but love wins and wins and wins.