I think @daria-meoi’s post regarding how we talk about Merstede as the goldfish is very interesting.
I read the ‘sweet little goldfish’ as the fandom’s celebration of the show’s rebuttal of Stede’s masculine dream sequence, and I too love cooing over his adorableness here. But I agree, it doesn’t always take into account Stede’s needs, nor how I think Ed actually sees Stede during the vision. It shapes Stede as something performative for Ed. But Stede is not an emotional support pet, and Ed doesn’t see him as such.
Ed alters his comment from mermaid to merman to merperson. Stede is definitely not a mermaid. I am forever grateful they chose to give Stede a trident which is carried traditionally by mer-men. Merstede is presented as the perfect mixture of theatrical whimsy and a certain masculine strength - which is everything Stede is; and it’s clear this is what Ed wants, though Ed does appear to focus a little more on the ‘orange sparkle’.
What Stede possibly takes, however, from being imagined as a merman is a little different. Stede almost certainly has a classical education and is well-versed in Greek mythology. I think the ‘Sea God’ comment could be interpreted as a through-line from his conversation with Ed that morning.
Stede might be equating himself with someone such as Triton, a fish-tailed, demigod, symbolic of a more traditional masculinity, including a beard. The attention over Ned Low and Ed’s merman comment meld together for Stede into a new hubris. And this causes Ed to panic.
Stede possibly goes too far in the opposite direction in 207, forgetting the ‘orange and sparkly’ parts of himself, and focusing instead on traditional masculine identities and behaviours.
The thing is Merstede, or let’s say Stede, is neither the sparkly goldfish nor the sea god. Or he’s some combination of both in the middle. Importantly, Ed’s vision is also that combination - Ed sees a Merman.
Merstede is orange and sweet and sparkly, and muscly, and self-assured, and carries a big spear. He’s incredibly complex, and it’s making sense of those seemingly-contradictory traits - the goldfish/sea-god, gentleman/pirate - which I guess is some of the season 3 work we need to see Stede undergo. Stede deserves to have all aspects of himself fully actualised, as does Ed.
If we do call Stede a ‘sweet little goldfish’, we maybe need first to recognise that he is being himself for himself, not for Ed. Else we’re wanting Stede to perform for Ed, as Ed was tasked with performing for Izzy. Just as Ed’s right is to simply ‘be Edward’ for Edward, so it’s Stede’s right to ‘be Stede’ for Stede. And it’s in that freedom to be themselves truly for the first time that their relationship can grow.
And second, we should try to remember Stede isn’t simply a goldfish. An important aspect of his true self is he can, should, and will stab you with his metaphorical giant fork to protect those he loves. Ed doesn’t want a pet. And whilst Ed doesn’t actually want Stede to kill, I do think he wants someone capable of it who usually chooses not to.
