#self misgendering

[tgirl-tamag0tchi]

I still misgender myself sometimes.

It’s kinda funny at this point.

Like dingus… you’ve been on hrt for nearing 3 years, and have like tits.

You changed your legal name and gender for crying out loud.

You are a woman.

You are your mother’s daughter.

You are a lesbian.

Fucking idiot. ^>^

[askanonbinary]

Hiya! Do you have any advice on not misgendering yourself (out loud and in your head)? I recently came out as agender, I come from a very suburban area where nb wasn’t really a thing, I’m also kinda old to be figuring this out. But I still constantly accidentally refer to myself as a girl and recently some assholes I work with have used this as an excuse to misgender me maliciously. I feel like it’s automatic to just call myself a girl or woman. Somehow it’s easier to remember my friends genders than mine LOL. Any tips? Thanksss

Practice by talking about yourself out loud. just walk around and narrate what you're doing in the third person. say your pronouns whenever you can.

If you hear others routinely misgender you, it gets easier to misgender yourself because you are used to responding to it. so you're used to hearing it and thinking of yourself. so the best way to ameliorate that is to hear it spoken out loud correctly more than you hear it incorrectly. which sometimes means you're going to have to do it yourself!

[aroaceconfessions]

Sometimes I get the feeling that I've managed to deceive myself and I'm actually a straight girl (I am neither straight nor a girl) this whole time and very often this is brought on by thinking fictional men are hot like. Why. I'm just aego. I know this. I would like to be able to simp without feeling like a traitor to the entirety of the ace community thanks brain.

[transcultureis]

Trans culture is accidentally misgendering yourself in your language because you're used to talking like that and then questioning if you're really trans for the next hour

.

[nonbinaryresource]

Hey, as a enby person who's identified as nb for a short time, I have a really difficult time deciding if I still like/don't mind using (agab pronoun) alongside they/them, or if it's because of the familiarity. I'm also concerned because I do use some (agab) phrases (habit), like almost accidentally misgendering myself. I also have a weird issue where whenever someone ELSE says (agab) I notice it more than when I say (agab). Any advice on.. not misgendering *yourself*, kinda?? Thank you!

The only answer is really just time, practice + practice + practice, and patience!

Write about yourself using your correct terms/pronouns/titles (it’s okay if these things change over time! my own pronouns and labels certainly have!), journal in third person, speak out loud to yourself when you’re alone and just narrate what you’re doing, and give it time. Change doesn’t come to us immediately.

Good luck!

~Pluto

[nonbinaryresource]

any advice for disconnecting with the gender you were assigned? like, i’m agab and anytime i see someone say smth about girls or women (not always negative things!) in my head i go “oh yeah, me!” but then i stop and go “i’m an nb guy :(“ so do you have any advice as to how to disconnect?

(Okay, I know this was just a typo, but I think “I’m agab” is my new fave clever response whenever someone tries to inappropriately push for my agab. Like yeah, I was assigned a gender at birth. What of it!?)

Time and practice! It may feel silly, but practice! Take like 5 - 10 minutes every day to journal, think to yourself, or speak out loud to/about yourself where you specifically affirm your gender, remind yourself you’re not [incorrect gender], and to go over some of your preferred titles and terms. Come up with a mantra you can repeat to yourself, like “My name is [name], I’m a nonbinary guy who uses [pronouns]. I’m not [gender] even though sometimes I respond to that gender through instinct and habit. [...]”. Repeat it once or a couple times. The more you self-affirm, the more natural this will become to you.

You can also keep practicing (because it sounds like you are already!) some mindfulness around this accidental self-misgendering. Keep catching when you lump yourself in with the wrong gender, correct it, then take a deep breath, let it go, and move forward. Just like when other people misgender us, the best way to handle it is to not dwell on it, simply correct it, and push forward. It’s cruel and unnecessary to harp on it and beat yourself up for a very understandable, human mistake!

The more practice and awareness you get surrounding this, and the less you will do this. I was in your place a couple years ago, but I’ve largely stopped habitually/institutionally lumping myself in with my incorrect gender, and I’ve no doubt it’ll happen only extremely rarely once I finally come out and don’t have to lump myself in sometimes to pretend. By now, I also have a good attitude about it when it happens and am able to laugh it off, like “oh silly me, back to doing this old thing!”

~Pluto

[mars-paws]

There’s really no way of winning

if in their eyes

You’ll always be a dumb girl.

[exactly24bees]

I can’t tell if I just misgendered myself or not???

Like I was talking with my friend about something related to an animal’s eggs and he was joking like “lol how do you know its a girl?” and i was like “uhh.. it has eggs” and then i was like wait so do i and im not a girl so either i misgendered myself or i forgot that i have eggs

so thats the subject of tonights spiral